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Exiting an Abusive Relationship Safely

Exiting an abusive relationship safely is the only way to make sure that your abuser doesn’t escalate into life-threatening behavior. An abuser’s main goal is to keep control over their victims. As a result, they make it incredibly hard for their partners to leave safely. If you are in an abusive relationship, it can be hard to even realize that you are. Knowing the signs of abuse can be helpful. It’s also important to realize that exiting the relationship is the only way to keep yourself safe. Find a support network and let them help you work out an escape plan. Hopefully, you’ll be able to get away safely and begin healing from the trauma of abuse.

Exiting an Abusive Relationship Safely: Getting Out Without Getting Hurt

Recognizing Abuse

The first step to exiting an abusive relationship is to recognize that you’re in one in the first place. While everybody is familiar with physical abuse, there are other forms as well. For example, emotional abuse can make a victim question their own decisions and confidence. Sexual abuse can involve anything from sexual assault to withholding of affection. And financial abuse makes a victim feel unable to leave their abuser because they rely on them financially. Knowing what abuse looks like can help you identify if you are in a dangerous relationship.

The Need to Get Out

It’s important to realize that exiting an abusive relationship is the only way to make sure that you stay safe. Regardless of what they say or how often they apologize, abusers do not stop abusing. They often escalate into more extreme forms of abuse. Leaving them can be dangerous too, which is why you need to have some support and a plan in place. Abusers thrive on controlling their victims, so leaving them can make them behave irrationally.

Get a Support Network

When exiting an abusive relationship, you need to make sure you have a support system in place. This could be a whole network of people or a single trusted friend. If you have family that you trust or close friends, let them know what is going on. They can help you make a plan to get out safely. They can also help you coordinate with local resources and national resources like the Domestic Violence Support Hotline.

Make a Plan

Exiting an abusive relationship can be tricky, so it’s important to make a plan. Figure out where you will go if you can get away. For example, to a friend’s house. Have a code word with your support person which means that you need help right away. Try to put away any money that you can. Document any instances of abuse in case you want to file a restraining order later. And finally, make sure that your abuser doesn’t find out about any of it. Use a public computer to do research and make sure that your support network is loyal to you.

Unfortunately, exiting an abusive relationship is the only way to ensure that your abuser doesn’t continue to hurt you. Abuse happens in many different forms, so it can be hard to even recognize it. Know the signs of different types of abuse and take note that abusers do not stop abusing. Find a support person or network and begin making a plan to get out safely. Pay attention to your partner’s schedule so that you know when you’ll have pockets of time alone. Make a plan on where you’ll go and how to get there. Hopefully, your support network can help you find resources. It’s incredibly difficult to leave an abuser. That is their goal in the first place. Rely on your support network to help you exit the relationship safely, and also to help you cope with the trauma of your abuse.

Stress-Free Traveling


Road trips can test the patience of any family, but stress-free traveling is possible. Whether you’re traveling with just your partner or the entire family, a long drive can put nerves on edge. Many road trips have been ruined by fighting and stress over changed travel plans. So put your best foot forward when planning a trip. Let everybody get a pick of one thing that’s important to them. Leave plenty of time for traveling. Expect changes and delays – mishaps are bound to happen. And finally, stock your car with as many emergency supplies as you can. That way you’ll be prepared for any eventuality! Hopefully, you and your loved ones can enjoy a fun and stress-free vacation.

Stress-Free Traveling: Surviving a Road Trip

Everybody Gets a Pick

Stress-free traveling is possible if you let everybody have a little say in the plans. If just one person is planning the whole trip, others might feel left out or disappointed. Before you plan your itinerary, let everybody in the family figure out something they would like to do. For example, a restaurant, a tourist stop along the way, or an activity. Make sure that each person gets to choose one important thing and try to have a good attitude about each person’s pick. This will let everybody feel like they’ve had a say in the plans.

Leave Plenty of Time

Another way to help with stress-free traveling is to leave plenty of time. Leave time for travel, time for getting ready, and extra time for unexpected stops. Running late is an easy way to get everybody incredibly stressed out. Tensions run high and it can lead to family arguments. Therefore, padding in plenty of extra time can keep things running smoothly.

Expect Changes

You should always expect some mishaps when traveling. No trip is going to be perfect! Try to be flexible and roll with the changes. There might be car troubles, bad weather, or unexpected hiccups along the way. There’s not much you can to do change it, so there isn’t much point in letting it ruin your trip. Stress-free traveling is easier if you go into a trip fully expecting some mishaps.

Prepare For Everything

Finally, stress-free traveling is a little easier to manage if you prepare for as many things as you can. If you are road tripping, make sure to have plenty of snacks and water on hand. Everybody gets grumpy when they’re hungry. Therefore, having plenty of snacks can prevent tempers from boiling over. If you have young children, pack a special new toy or activity they only get to do in the car. You can’t prepare for everything, but stocking your car with as many essentials as you can helps things go more smoothly.

Stress-free traveling is possible, even on a road trip with your entire family. It just takes a little preparation and some determination by the whole group. One bad attitude can spoil the day for everybody, so try to set expectations early. Let each member of the family pick something special that they want to do on the trip. Pad in plenty of time for delays and traffic, as running behind on schedule can lead to arguments. Anticipate that there will be mishaps and try to be flexible with changes. And finally, pack your car and prepare for as many changes as you can anticipate. Hopefully, your trip will go very smoothly. But sometimes the mishaps and sudden changes of plans can wind up being the most fun and memorable parts of vacation!

Breaking Bad Habits After Divorce


Divorce is one of the most stressful things that a person can go through, and forming bad habits after divorce is very common. When we are stressed out, it’s easy to start relying on things like comfort food and alcohol. However, now that your divorce is final, it’s a great time to begin a fresh start. Try to put a positive spin on your divorce, and stop complaining to others. Eating healthier foods can make your body feel great. So can cutting out alcohol! And finally, when going through a divorce, it’s easy to put other things before yourself. For example, your children and their needs. However, now that things are settling back down, it’s time to focus on some self-love. Make yourself and your happiness a priority and start forming healthy habits that will make you feel great in this new stage of your life.

Breaking Bad Habits After Divorce: Getting Your Life Back on Track

The Complaining Habit

One of the bad habits after divorce that many people develop is complaining habit. It’s easy to let your divorce troubles be the main topic of conversation with friends and family. Especially if it’s a contentious one. However, now that your divorce is final, it’s time to begin to let go of your bitterness. Holding onto anger will only alienate people and hurt future relationships.

The Over-Eating Habit

Another common bad habit after divorce is over-eating. Many of us deal with stress by indulging in comfort foods. And unfortunately, these are often high in fat and calories. If you are an emotional eater, you might also have started to increase your portion sizes. Try to begin working more healthy foods into your diet. Aim to fill your plate half with veggies and fruit, a quarter with whole grains, and a quarter with healthy proteins like chicken and fish. Be mindful while eating so that you don’t continue to eat after your body tells you you’re full.

The Drinking Habit

When dealing with lots of stress, many people turn to alcohol. And this is one of the bad habits after divorce that can be difficult to break. However, drinking too much can lead to a lot of negative effects on your body, and also the rest of your life. If you feel like you are going to have trouble cutting back or getting sober, look into support groups. Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs are helpful for many people.

The Putting-Everybody-Else-First Habit

Finally, one more of the bad habits after divorce that many people resort to is putting themselves last. The stress of divorce can put self-care on the back burner. In addition, if you have children, you likely have been very focused on easing their transition through the divorce. However, now it’s time to get back to some self-care. Try to make time for yourself each day to de-stress and do something that makes you feel happy. In addition, speaking to a therapist or close friend can do wonders for your mental health. Exercise is also a great stress-reliever with many health benefits.

There are many bad habits after divorce that are easy to fall into. When you’re dealing with that much stress, it can be difficult not to relieve it in any way you can. However, now that your divorce is final, it’s a great time to start to try to break those bad habits. Begin by trying to let go of any bitterness and anger that you have about the divorce. Next, focus on eating healthy and cutting out alcohol to make your body feel much stronger and healthier. Finally, start making some time for yourself. Your mental health might have taken a hit over the last few months, so it’s time for some self-care. Hopefully, you can begin to break some of these bad habits so that you can start fresh in this new exciting chapter of your life.

Running into Your Ex at Social Events

Running into your ex at social events can be incredibly awkward, but it’s important to know how to handle these situations. It’s likely that at some point you will come across your ex-spouse at a mutual friend’s wedding or another event. In this situation, you don’t want to end up letting your drama with your ex take priority. Try to keep things short with them and don’t engage in too much conversation. Avoid heavy drinking as alcohol can often make the situation much worse. Don’t allow drama and try not to let your interaction become a focus for everybody. And finally, if you feel like you aren’t ready to be around your ex, just make a polite excuse and leave. Hopefully, you and your ex will be able to keep things civil so that you can both enjoy social events with mutual friends.

Running into Your Ex at Social Events: Avoid a Scene

Keep it Short

Running into your ex at social events can be awkward but the best thing is to just keep your interaction short. Don’t avoid them or you’ll wind up bringing more attention to your situation. Instead, acknowledge them or say hello but try not to engage in conversation. You don’t want to let things get out of hand and air your dirty laundry for other guests to hear.

Avoid Alcohol

Alcohol can make any situation more dramatic, so running into your ex at social events is not a time to drink heavily. Even if you normally feel like you are in control of your emotions around your ex, alcohol can inhibit you more than usual. Therefore, if you see your ex, make sure to keep the drinking to a minimum so you don’t elevate the problem.

Don’t Allow Drama

Running into your ex can be awkward for you both, but it can also sometimes be awkward for other guests. Especially if they know that tensions are high. However, don’t allow your interactions to become the focus of attention. Instead, acknowledge each other and act maturely by keeping things civil. Don’t air your dirty laundry for others to hear. A social event with a crowd is not the place to rehash old arguments, so just keep it brief with your ex.

Leave

Finally, if running into your ex is too difficult for you to bear, then it’s perfectly fine to leave. Your host will understand if it’s painful for you to be around your ex-spouse. Especially if the divorce is still fresh or if it was very bitter. They would probably rather you make a quick exit than stay and allow the event to turn into a showdown between you and your ex. Prioritize your mental health and make a quick getaway if you need to.

Running into your ex at a wedding or social event can be jolting, especially if you weren’t expecting to see them. Take a moment to find a calm mental space and say a quick but polite hello. Try to keep things brief with them so that you don’t begin rehashing old arguments in front of others. Avoid drinking alcohol can escalate the situation. Keep the focus on the social event instead of the drama of running into your ex. And finally, if you feel like you aren’t ready to be around your ex-spouse, then it’s fine to leave. It’s okay to prioritize your mental wellness over a social event. Hopefully, someday soon you and your ex will get a place where you can be around each other and enjoy social events with mutual friends.

How to Be Polite with an Ex After Divorce

It can be nearly impossible to be polite with an ex after divorce. Tensions are running high and there might be a lot of hurt feelings and resentment there. However, if you co-parent with them, you’ll need to figure out how to be cordial at least. Get in the right headspace before you see them and prepare yourself mentally. Have a plan before you go and stay on topic – don’t let them sidetrack you. Keep it short and sweet, the sooner you can get away the less chance of a blowup. And finally, if you are stressing about seeing them, bring a friend with you. They are less likely to create a scene if there is somebody there to watch. Hopefully, you and your ex can figure out how to co-exist in the same space. Often it just takes a little time and distance so that you both can heal from the divorce a bit.

How to Be Polite with an Ex After Divorce: Keeping Your Cool

Get in the Right Headspace

If you want to be polite with an ex, set yourself up for success. Prepare mentally before you’re going to see them. Try to listen to calming music or meet in a place that makes you feel relaxed. Don’t try to meet with them on a day when you’re already stressed. And try to allow time for the meeting so that you aren’t rushed as that can ramp up your anxiety.

Have a Plan

It’s easier to be polite with an ex if you just stay on topic. Prepare whatever you need to discuss with them ahead of time. You can even send them a quick text before your meeting outlining the things you two need to talk about. Don’t let them sidetrack you or stray off-topic. You’re more likely to get into an emotional situation if you let them take you off on a tangent.

Keep it Short

Keep it short and sweet if you’re wanting to be polite with an ex. The less time you’re around them, the less time you have to get into an argument. Get in and get out. Make plenty of time for them so that you don’t seem rushed, but try to wrap up the conversation as quickly as you can.

Bring a Friend

Finally, if you are worried that you won’t be able to be polite with an ex after your divorce, bring a friend for support. They and you will be less likely to get into an emotional confrontation if there’s somebody there to watch it all. You might not always need to bring back-up, but it can be helpful for the first few times you meet with them.

It’s difficult (and nearly impossible sometimes) to be polite with an ex after a divorce. There is usually a lot of bad blood between you. However, there are likely things that you’ll need to discuss with them eventually. And if you’re co-parenting, you’ll be coordinating with them for years to come. So it’s important to figure out how to maintain some friendliness. Get yourself in the right mentality ahead of time by starting from a calm place. Make a list of the things you need to discuss and prioritize those. Be quick and stay on point so that you don’t stray into emotional waters. And finally, if you are stressed, then bring a friend with you for some support. Hopefully, you and your ex will learn to co-exist peacefully so that running into them is not an emotional or stressful situation in the future.

Dealing with Grief During a Divorce

Dealing with grief during a divorce can be a long process. Everybody experiences divorce differently. You likely will go through many stages with your grief, and they might each take different lengths of time. Don’t compare your journey to anybody else’s. Instead, try to work on healthily dealing with your emotions. Try to accept your divorce and permit yourself to feel your feelings. Surround yourself with supportive family and friends. Take plenty of time for self-care and make yourself a priority. And finally, be patient. This process can take a long time. But rest assured, someday you will feel at peace with your divorce. And then you’ll be able to move on to the next chapter of your life.

Dealing with Grief During a Divorce: Channeling Emotions in a Healthy Way

Try to Accept the Divorce

It’s important to accept reality when dealing with grief during a divorce. Often, the denial stage of grief can take a long time. But denying the reality won’t change the situation. Try to take some time to address the fact that your marriage is ending. Only after you accept that it’s over can you begin to move forward.

Surround Yourself with Supportive People

An important part of dealing with grief during a divorce is surrounding yourself with supportive family and friends. Try to reach out to people that understand what you’re going through and who will help you in productive ways. For example, helping you find new interests instead of just trash-talking your ex.

Take Time for Self-Care

Don’t forget to take some time for self-care when handling the grief during a divorce. Especially if you are feeling very stressed by the divorce process. Take a few moments to meditate, breathe deeply, or calm your mind. Try to find some new activities or hobbies that interest you. Another important part of self-care is getting the help you need if you are struggling. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a professional therapist if you feel like you are struggling.

Be Patient

Finally, when dealing with grief during a divorce, be patient. This process takes a long time. And it takes different amounts of time for everybody. Don’t compare yourself to other people you know who have gotten divorced. Their situation might have been very different from your own. Let it take as long as it needs to take. Just trust yourself and the fact that someday, you will be able to move forward.

Tackling grief during a divorce can be a long and difficult process. It’s important to first accept the reality of the situation so that you can begin to move forward. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that your marriage is over, but denying it won’t change the situation. Surround yourself with supportive family and friends who will help you find new hobbies or even help you when you’re ready to start dating again. Take plenty of time for self-care, including mental self-care. And finally, give yourself some grace. Be patient and know that this process can take a while. However, someday you will be able to move forward knowing that you made the right decision. Hopefully, you’ll be able to move on to an exciting new part of your life and maybe even meet somebody new to share it with.

How to Build Trust with an Older Adopted Child

It can be time-consuming to build trust with an older adopted child or foster child. Often, these children have been through various forms of trauma. You might not be the first parent that has attempted to build trust with them. Their past experiences will have a big effect on how long it takes. Give it time though, and understand that trust is not built overnight. You must earn it through your words and actions. For example, by keeping your promises to them. Showing them respect shows that you value and trust their opinions as well. And finally, always be honest with and in front of your children so that they can see that anybody, not just them, can trust you. Try to be patient and remember that it can take time but that the journey will be worth it in the end.

How to Build Trust with an Older Adopted Child or Foster Child

Give It Time

The most important thing to remember when trying to build trust with an older adopted child or foster child is to give it time. Many foster children and children who have been searching for adoptive parents for years have experienced trauma. Just being in these systems is traumatic. So remember that trust can take a long time to build. Just be patient and always be consistent.

Keep Your Promises

In addition to being patient, you always need to keep your promises. This will go a long way in building trust with your older adopted child or foster child. Don’t be afraid to make promises, but just be sure there isn’t a possibility of breaking them. This shows your child that you follow through on your word. You can use simple examples like ”I promise that we will read a story together tonight.”

Give Them Respect

Another way to build trust with a foster child or especially an older adopted child is to give them respect. Look them in the eye when you speak to them. Ask their opinion on things. Let them make decisions about how to play or what to do and then you be the follower. Showing them that you value them as a person and value their ideas will make them more likely to trust you as well.

Be Honest

Finally, one last way to help build trust with an older adopted child or foster child is to always be honest. Not just honest to them, but honest around them. Otherwise, they’ll see that you can’t be trusted since you lie to others. What’s to stop you from lying to them? Even if you have to tell them disappointing things be honest. Don’t keep things from the social worker, don’t sneak food into movie theaters when it’s not allowed, and don’t try to do anything dishonest no matter how insignificant. If they see that you are always honest with people then you can build up that trust with them.

Building up trust with an older adopted child or foster child can be a long and sometimes painful journey. You might want the absolute best for them and want them to know that. But unfortunately, they might have past experiences that don’t let them trust people so easily. It’s a process that can take a while, but as long as you are consistent and patient, they will trust you more and more. Always keep your promises to them, no matter how small. Show them respect and they will show you more respect and trust in return. And finally, always be completely honest with them and around them at all times. Having somebody that they can trust helps children develop socially and academically, so be patient, consistent, and trust the process.

Different Types of Custody Arrangements

There are several types of custody arrangements possible when parents divorce. We often think of custody as either 50/50 or one parent getting full custody. However, there are actually more options than just those two. Joint custody means that both parents have equal rights to make decisions for their children. Kids usually split their time between their parents’ houses. Sole custody means that one parent is the main caregiver. Non-parental custody is uncommon but happens if the court believes a third party is more able to care for the children than the parents. And finally, the least common is split custody. In this, siblings are split up between their parents. There are many options for custody and each case depends on the parents and children involved.

Different Types of Custody Arrangements: Common and Uncommon

Joint Custody

Joint custody is one of the most common custody arrangements. It can look different for different families. However, it means that both parents equally are responsible for their kids. Often this means that children split their time between parents and switch back and forth between their houses. The parents must make any legal decisions about the children together.

Full/Sole Custody

Full or sole custody is another custody arrangement that is somewhat common. With sole custody, one of the parents is legally responsible for making decisions for the kids. In addition, the children live with them full time. Often the other parent has visitation rights. This is more likely to happen if one parent is unfit or not capable of child-rearing.

Non-Parental Custody

One of the custody arrangements that are less common is non-parental custody or third-party custody. This happens when both parents are unfit or not able to legally care for their children. It often means that kids live with their grandparents, step-parents, or other family members.

Split Custody

Finally, split custody is a rare custody arrangement to be awarded. Many people mistakenly use the term when they actually mean shared or joint custody. But it actually means something very different. In split custody, siblings each live with a separate parent. The court doesn’t usually decide on split custody, because most people believe that siblings should stay together. However, in rare cases, this type of custody might happen. It is more common if the children go to different schools, and have a large age gap, special needs, or disciplinary issues.

While there are many different types of custody arrangements, the most common one in our country is joint custody. Most courts feel that it’s important for children to have both of their parents in their lives making decisions for them together. However, in some situations, one parent might have sole custody. It’s less common, but sometimes children go to live with non-parental guardians in a third-party arrangement. And finally, the least common is split custody, where siblings are split up between parents. Divorce is difficult for everybody, including kids. It’s important that the arrangement be whatever is best for the well-being of the children. If you are going through a divorce, hopefully, you will find the arrangements that work the best for you and your family.

Divorce Court Etiquette


Divorce court etiquette might not seem like a big deal, however, first impressions are important. Being respectful and well-mannered might set the stage for a positive experience with your divorce proceedings. It never hurts to know the appropriate manners for any situation, especially one as formal as a court of law. Dress appropriately and respectfully. Be on time, or better yet, early. Nothing sets a worse tone than arriving disheveled and late. Be respectful of the judge, and also the other people in the courtroom. And finally, stay calm even when you are dealing with emotional topics. Following proper etiquette might seem like a small detail but it’s best to put your best foot forward when it comes to the courtroom.

Divorce Court Etiquette You Should Be Aware Of

Dress Appropriately

Make a good first impression of divorce court etiquette by dressing appropriately. For men, this means a suit or slacks and a button-down. For women, a professional dress, pantsuit, or slacks and blouse combination. Keep your hairstyle neat and professional-looking, and keep facial hair trim. There’s a place for showing your unique style with your clothing, but divorce court is not it.

Be On-Time

Another way to set the stage right with divorce court etiquette is to be on time. It’s best to arrive ahead of schedule. You’ll often need to contend with downtown traffic, parking, and security measures. Budget in extra time for figuring out your way around the courthouse and going through a metal detector. Arriving early will give you a chance to gather your thoughts. Arriving late and in a tizzy will leave you feeling stressed and does not make a good first impression.

Be Respectful

Another aspect of divorce court etiquette that is very important is to be respectful. When addressing the judge, use the term ”Your Honor.” Everybody should stand as the judge enters. Also, make sure to be respectful of everybody else in court by listening quietly and turning off your phone.

Stay Calm

Finally, another part of divorce court etiquette is to stay calm and collected. Only speak if somebody asks you a question directly. Answer as calmly as you can, without getting overly emotional. It’s easy to feel emotional in this situation, but the more collected you can be, the better. Answer clearly and make eye contact. The more level-headed you appear, the better off you will be.

Divorce court etiquette is an important part of the divorce process. It might seem like a small detail, but getting off on the wrong foot can affect your divorce. Show respect for the court by dressing professionally and appropriately. Make sure to allow yourself plenty of time to get to court, and budget in an extra half hour to make sure you are on time. Be respectful to the judge and also the rest of the court. And finally, be calm and collected. It’s a very emotional thing to go through, but you will make the best impression if you stay cool under pressure. Hopefully, you will be able to make a great impression and have a divorce that is as stress-free as possible.

Improving Communication in a Marriage

Communication in a marriage is the absolute most important thing for a happy and long-lasting relationship. Communication isn’t just about talking to each other, though. It’s also about learning how to connect in other ways. One of the best ways to improve communication is to become a better listener. It’s also important to take time to talk when there are no distractions. Often, miscommunication happens because of simple logistics, so having a central place for information can be very helpful. And finally, learning your specific love language and your partners can be very helpful. Hopefully, you can learn to improve your communication and make your marriage stronger.

Improving Communication in a Marriage: The Secret Sauce for Success

Become a Better Listener

One of the best ways of improving communication in a marriage is to get better at listening. Listening doesn’t just mean being quiet while your partner talks. It also means thinking about what they’re saying. And showing that you understand. Nod, maintain eye contact and ask thoughtful questions to show you care. In return, your partner will likely listen more closely when you talk as well.

Be Distraction Free Sometimes

Improving communication in a marriage means being distraction-free sometimes. Life is busy. Between our phones and busy jobs, it can be hard to find time to talk without distractions. However, it is very important in a marriage. Try to set aside time each day where you put away your phones. Perhaps, try at mealtimes. If you have young children, take some time after they go to bed to connect about your day.

Have One Central Place for Information

A lot of times, miscommunication happens simply because people aren’t on the same page. Simple logistics can cause issues in a marriage just as easily as major problems. Improving communication in a marriage might just mean having one place to go for important information. For example, try a calendar app that your whole family can share. Having a central location for important information can help you stay on the same page with family events.

Learn Your Love Languages

Finally, one of the best ways of improving communication in a marriage is to learn each of your love languages. Each person has specific ways that they communicate with those they love. These can be through acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, and gift-giving. Learning which love language your partner speaks can help you connect more easily.

Improving communication in a marriage is one of the easiest ways to make it stronger. Communication is the basis of any relationship and is so important. Learning to listen better is a great way to start. Show your partner that you are interested in what they have to say. It’s also important to have some time to talk when you can focus without distractions. So put away your phones for a few minutes each day. This can let you truly connect. It can also help to have one place to go to for important family information. For example, a shared calendar app. And finally, learn your partner’s love language. By communicating with them in their love language, you can show how much you care. Hopefully, you can learn to communicate better and make your marriage even stronger.