Tag: marriage

Normal Conflict in a Marriage

Many couples wonder what is considered normal conflict in a marriage. Of course, everybody has disagreements from time to time. But knowing how to resolve any sort of conflicts in a healthy and productive way that maintains mutual respect will prevent cracks from forming in your relationship. If your arguments tend to devolve into aggressive, disrespect, or otherwise toxic behaviors, it might be a red flag that your relationship could use some help. And if fighting is becoming the norm or is impacting your happiness or other relationships, it might be time to dig a little deeper. If you feel that you and your partner need some help when it comes to healthy conflict, speaking with a marriage counselor can be incredibly helpful. Even individual therapy can also provide some insights that can be helpful. Hopefully, you and your partner can get the support you need so that you can move towards more peaceful conflict resolution.

Normal Conflict in a Marriage: Looking Out for Toxic Behavior

Frequency

It’s normal to wonder about other people’s relationships, especially since we almost never get to look behind the closed doors of another couple. Normal conflict in a marriage is a healthy thing, and something that even the strongest marriages face. But arguments should not be your day-to-day relationship status. If it feels like you’re fighting more than you’re not, it might be time to get some help. It’s normal to have some disagreements, but they shouldn’t be impacting things like your overall happiness, your career, or other interpersonal relationships. 

Aggression

Another thing that is not a part of normal conflict in a marriage is aggression. And this doesn’t have to mean physical aggression. Using threats, withholding sex, screaming at one another, cursing – all of these can be part of a very toxic relationship dynamic. And of course, if a partner ever is physical, intimate partner violence is a very serious issue. If you are dealing with any kind of abuse, whether physical or emotional, seek out support. 

Keeping Respect

It’s important that even in the midst of conflict, that you and your partner always maintain mutual respect for one another. During a fight, this means keeping a neutral body position, keeping a normal tone of voice, using non-insulting language. It also means actively listening to your partner when they talk, instead of just waiting for them to finish so you can speak. Try to get into your spouse’s mind and think about their perspective on things. Even when you are in a conflict, you can still remain calm and collected.

Healthier Conflict

If you feel that you and your spouse are a bit outside the range of what’s considered normal conflict in a marriage, seek out some counseling. A marriage counselor can be hugely beneficial, as long as you both are contributing equal effort and being honest. They can help you get some perspective on arguments, or help you try to see one another’s point of view. Even individual therapy can be helpful as well if your partner is not willing to attend a couples session. If your spouse isn’t willing to work on the conflict issue, or continues to promise change that doesn’t happen, you might have to take a hard look at whether or not you want to continue in the marriage. 

Normal conflict in a marriage is a somewhat ambiguous phrase, and there’s really no one-size-fits-all way to measure what is or isn’t “normal.” However, you and your spouse know what the dynamic is of your relationship, and if things feel unhealthy, then there’s probably a reason. Conflict and disagreements are a normal part of any relationship, but if conflict is becoming the norm in your household, it might be time to really look into your relationship dynamic. Your conflicts should never involve aggression or physical abuse. Additionally, you and your partner should try to always maintain mutual respect for one another by avoiding things like screaming or name-calling. If you feel that your conflict isn’t very productive or healthy, or it’s causing issues outside of your marriage, seeking out a counselor could be very beneficial. Marriage counseling isn’t something just for couples in crisis. Even the healthiest marriages can benefit fro

Starting the Adoption Process

Starting the adoption process can be extremely overwhelming for many families. Especially if you have been waiting a very long time to grow your family. The first step is to educate yourself about the adoption process itself, what it’s like to parent an adoptive child, and the costs of different types of adoption. Finances will be an important factor to consider when choosing what type of agency or adoption to look at. Then, you’ll need to look at your options and decide who you’d want to work with for the process. Speaking with other adoptive parents can be hugely beneficial, as this process can come with its own challenges. Hopefully, you’ll get the information that you need to help you make a decision and grow your family the way that works best for you.

Starting the Adoption Process: What to Know

Educate Yourself

The first step in starting the adoption process is to educate yourself. Adopting a child is a big undertaking, and there are a lot of factors to consider. You’ll need to figure out what type of adoption feels like a good fit, and think hard about what you are looking for in a potential match. Consider if you are open to adopting a special needs child, an older child, a child of a different race, or siblings. If you have a partner, you both need to equally be on board with this choice because you’ll need to rely on one another when things feel stressful or when you feel overwhelmed. 

Consider Finances

One of the most important factors when starting the adoption process is to look into the costs of different types of adoption. There are a few options available. For example, there is private domestic adoption, adoption from foster care, and international adoption. Each have different financial requirements and concerns. For example, if you are doing an international adoption, you’ll need to factor in traveling expenses to meet your child as well as the costs of the agency.

Look Into Private Companies and Agencies

Connecting with the right agency is an important step of the process. There are agencies that will help adoptive parents match with a birth mother who is choosing an adoptive plan who will be a good fit. There are also private and public agencies that work with the foster care system and Department of Social Services to help foster children find adoptive parents. And international adoption agencies will help you begin the process of considering a non-domestic adoption. Once you choose which agency you want to work with, they will guide you through their specific requirements and process.

Talk to Other Adoptive Parents

One thing that is incredibly important when starting the adoption process is to speak with others who have been through it before. There will be hoops to jump through, like immense amounts of paperwork, home studies, or even classes required in some instances. And even after the stress of the adoption process, it can also been challenging to bring a new child into your family. Especially if they are older, have special needs, or you have other children and you are blending your family. You’ll need to gather a support system around you and making connections with other adoptive parents is a great place to start.

Starting the adoption process is an exciting step towards building your family. But it can also be a scary one. Adoption is a complicated process that can take a very long time, a lot of perseverance, and also substantial funds. You’ll need to educate yourself on the different types of adoption available to you, from domestic private adoption to foster care adoption or international adoption. Each of these processes are different, have different requirements, different timelines, and different financial obligations. When you do choose an agency, they will begin the process of screening you as a potential parent and finding a match that will work well with your family. It’s very helpful to start connecting with other adoptive parents because this process can be daunting at times. And welcoming a new child into your family, whether through adoption or not, is a huge undertaking. New parents always need a support network around them, so begin building yours as soon as possible. Hopefully, you’ll be able to navigate thi