If you are in a one-sided marriage or relationship of any kind, it can quickly become exhausting. In any relationship, both partners should be giving equal amounts of effort throughout their time together. Naturally, there will be times when outside distractions make it difficult to focus on your marriage. However, over time, you should both be contributing equally. If you don’t feel like this is the case, it can be a symptom of a deeper problem. It can happen gradually over time, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you are doomed as a couple. Through counseling and communication, you can rebuild your relationship and begin contributing equally again.
How to Spot a One-Sided Marriage and What to Do About It
How Does It Happen
A one-sided marriage simply means that one partner is putting in more effort than the other one. At the start of a relationship, both parties are often equally committed and interested in putting in the effort. However, over time, there can be a disconnect. It might feel like one person in the marriage is always the one planning dates, initiating intimacy, and working on improving the relationship.
Why It’s a Problem
Sometimes a one-sided marriage happens because of outside stressors taking the focus of one spouse away from their partner. Or because one person has never had a healthy example of marriage to model. But sometimes it happens because one spouse realizes that they have outgrown the marriage. Maintaining a one-sided relationship can be exhausting for the person who feels they are giving more effort. It can quickly build resentment.
Signs
The main sign of a one-sided marriage is if one partner feels they are always the one trying to work on the relationship or improve things. Another sign is if you begin to feel like an obligation, rather, a priority. Intimacy might fade away, or one partner might always have to be the one to initiate it. Finally, you might begin to feel like they don’t have any interest in your relationship issues, or refuse to acknowledge them at all.
What To Do
If you find yourself in a one-sided marriage, try to figure out exactly how you want to move forward. Speak to your spouse and see if they are willing to try marriage counseling or other techniques to improve your connection. Work on building up your communication with one another. If they don’t seem interested in putting in the work, then it might be time to explore other options. It’s not fair to stay in a marriage with somebody that doesn’t love you back.
Being in a one-sided marriage can be exhausting and can build a lot of resentment and self-doubt. If you feel like you are the only person making any effort in your relationship, it’s important to get to the bottom of exactly what’s going on. Try to figure out if this is a temporary phase of your marriage because your partner is dealing with stress or other issues. Or if it’s a long-term issue that you’ve been dealing with for years. You might feel like your spouse doesn’t care about your happiness, or doesn’t want to talk about your relationship at all. If this is the case, think deeply about how you want to proceed. Marriage counseling can be beneficial, but it still requires both you and your spouse to put in mental work. You deserve to be in a marriage with a partner that respects you and loves you enough to put in the effort.