Having a baby to save your marriage is not a good idea. While movies can sometimes make us think that having a child will magically repair a broken relationship, the truth is that children just add stress. Adding a child into the mix isn’t going to help things if you and your partner are already on shaky ground. Instead, it will create way more pressure and anxiety in your lives. Plus, it isn’t fair to the baby that’s being used as a game piece or Hail Mary. Finally, both you and your partner will be limiting yourselves and the amount of happiness that you can experience. If your marriage is feeling shaky, the best thing to do is pause and work on things before ramping up the pressure with a child.
Having a Baby to Save Your Marriage: Is It Ever a Good Idea?
It Won’t Fix the Underlying Issues
The main reason why having a baby to save your marriage is dicey is that it doesn’t fix anything. If you and your partner have issues, creating a new life doesn’t address them in any way. Sure, it can kick the can down the road for a few years, but your problems will come back. You and your partner need to address your concerns head-on through open communication and counseling.
It’s a Pressure Cooker
Another reason why having a baby to save your marriage is a dangerous game is that it just adds stress to your life. Babies need constant care, and children need your full attention. Even if you have a healthy, easy baby, the parenting process is overwhelming. You and your spouse will get very little sleep, and tempers will run short. Not a good recipe for fixing marital issues.
It Isn’t Fair to the Baby
It also isn’t fair to the child if you’re planning on having a baby to save your marriage. You should bring a child into the world because you want to raise it together and give it all of your love. Not to use it as a crutch for your relationship, or a bandage. If you are already having issues, a baby is only likely to exacerbate things. This means that you’ll be bringing a child into a relationship with arguments, where neither partner is really happy.
Limiting Your Happiness
Finally, having a baby to save your marriage just means that you’re limiting your potential for happiness. You deserve to be with somebody that makes you happy. And in a marriage that fulfills you with a partner that is willing to give equal effort. If you have a baby with your spouse and then you decide it’s best to go your separate ways, you’ll be tied together for life. It’s much better to figure out what you both want out of the future now.
Having a baby to save your marriage isn’t the answer to your marital problems. Parenting is hard work, and you deserve a teammate you can count on. If you and your partner are already having issues without the added stress of a child, creating a baby isn’t going to lessen your problems. Instead, it’s likely to put much more pressure and stress on your marriage. Not to mention that it isn’t fair to the baby. And if you and your spouse are better off as exes, it’s best to find that out before you’re tied together as co-parents for the rest of your lives. All in all, the answer to marriage struggles is not a child. Instead, take a pause, do the work, and decide whether or not this is a marriage that can last.