Being in a same-sex marriage comes with it’s own set of challenges. One of which is having children. For some, it can take years to figure out a plan. Surrogate, insemination, adoption… there are tons of options, but all take time. So, when you finally do have a child— it can be easy to overcompensate. Parenting is difficult all around, and heterosexual couples are just as susceptible to this as their counterparts. But, when you face as many obstacles as a same-sex couple might— parenting has a whole other element to it.
Same-Sex Marriage: Tips for New Parents
One of the biggest things we want to focus on here is overcompensating. It’s easy to do in any parenting situation. But, as a same-sex couple, you’ve faced a lot of unique obstacles together, especially when it comes to conceiving a child. So when they finally come, it can be easy to try and ‘give them the world’. Your child is a miracle, no doubt. But love and affection is enough for your child. Every child has to learn how to cope with ‘no’ and consequences. Just because your child is a blessing, doesn’t mean they should have anything and everything at their fingertips.
Allow your child to make their own decision on how much they divulge at school
You’re proud of who you are, and you should teach your child to be proud of who they are too. However, allow them to explore how and what they share at school on their own. Your family is perfect, and unique— but give them time to find this and share it on their own. Times are changing in a positive way, thank goodness, but kids are still mean sometimes— let’s face it. Therefore, it’s important to allow your child to share at a comfortable pace for themselves. You’ve created good people, and you must hope that others have done the same. So, have faith in your child to be proud of their family and of you— in their time.
Surround yourself and your family with a diverse friend group
One of the problems that many children of same-sex marriage might have is thinking that they’re different from other families when, in all reality, they are just the same! Every family is diverse or blended in some form or fashion, so surround your children with that! Having a friend group that is diverse will show them what a family really is. It’s a mix of family, friends, and all kinds of people.
Be yourselves; be affectionate, be proud, and embrace everyone
You’re a ‘normal’ family because you’re a family. Don’t feel as if you have to be different, or feel pressure to be better because your child has two moms or two dads. Many same-sex parents feel like they have to be or do more because their child’s parental situation is non-traditional. But, as we’ve said, times are changing and you don’t have to be anything more than a good parent to your children.
So, be you!! Be a good parent, a friend, an active member of the community, and a loving spouse. Don’t get caught up on the fact that you’re ‘different’ because you’re not, you just have your own, unique, beautiful family. Enjoy this journey; watching your child grow is such a rewarding experience and we wish you the best of luck in crafting your experience!