Vacations with Split Custody

Vacations with split custody can be an awkward situation to manage. You and your ex both share custody of the children, and you each probably want to take them on vacations. However, it’s easy to feel more nervous when your children are traveling without you. Therefore, it’s best to work together with your ex so that you can each make vacationing smoother. Give plenty of warning about your travel plans: don’t just bring them up last minute. Discuss the details of your trip with your ex so that they feel more comfortable. Keep in touch while you are traveling to ease nerves. And finally, remember to set aside your bitterness with one another to prioritize your children. Hopefully, by doing these things, you and your ex will each be able to enjoy fulfilling vacations with your children and make amazing memories.

Vacations with Split Custody: How to Make Things Smoother

Give Plenty of Warning

Vacations with split custody are easier to handle when you have plenty of time to prepare for them mentally. Therefore, you and your ex should discuss any future travel plans well in advance. Even if your vacation doesn’t impact their schedule, you should still keep them informed. After all, you’d want to know if they were taking your kids out of town.

Discuss Details with Your Ex

When going on vacations with split custody, it’s helpful to discuss the details with your ex. Parents often worry when they feel out of control of their children. Therefore, giving them a detailed schedule of your plans while traveling can help put minds at ease. In addition, if you’re taking the kids to do something like a beach vacation, make sure you both discuss water safety and expectations beforehand.

Keep in Touch While Traveling

Keep in touch while traveling to make vacations with split custody more smooth. Let your children call and check in with their parents as much as they want during the time they’re away. This will put everybody’s minds at ease. If you have questions concerning how to handle things like pool safety or curfews, make sure that you double-check and get on the same page together.

Put the Kids First

Finally, prioritizing your kids first is the most important thing for making vacations with split custody more enjoyable. They are the ones who you should be focusing on. You and your ex might have a lot of built-up resentment towards one another. There could be a lot of pain and bitterness. However, denying your children opportunities for vacations won’t change your past. Try to set aside your feelings and do what is best for your kids, even if it means swallowing your pride.

Vacations with split custody can often become an unexpected battlefield in the post-divorce world. You might not realize how anxiety-inducing it can be to know your children are traveling without you there. However, you will quickly get used to the idea and be more comfortable with it. It can help to discuss it with your ex in a productive way. Give them plenty of notice about vacations so that you can both prepare. Discuss the details and itinerary of your vacation together and make sure you’re on the same page with safety precautions. Check-in with your ex or your children while they travel to put your mind at ease. And finally, try to remember that your kids and their fun is the priority over any feelings of bitterness. Hopefully, by focusing on them instead of your divorce, you’ll be able to enjoy your vacation to the fullest extent.

Last Ditch Efforts Before Filing for Divorce

If your relationship is on the rocks, there are some last-ditch efforts before filing for divorce that you can try to save your marriage. You don’t want to file for a divorce and then, later on, wonder if you did everything possible to save your marriage. Start by talking it out with your partner. Try marriage counseling as a couple and work on your relationship. You can also try a short break away from each other. For example, just take a week apart to sort out your feelings. And finally, try to work on yourself. Divorce doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Maybe there are things that you can try to work through that would make you both happier. Hopefully, you’ll be able to find a way to save your marriage and become a stronger couple afterward.

Last Ditch Efforts Before Filing for Divorce: Save Your Marriage

Talk it Out

One thing to do before filing for divorce is to talk it out with your partner. Set aside a time just for this conversation. Pick a time when neither of you is stressed or angry with the other. Schedule it in advance and choose a place where you are comfortable that is not your own house. Discuss the seriousness of your relationship issues and decide if you both are willing to put in the effort to save your marriage.

Go to Counseling

Another thing that many couples try before filing for divorce is marriage counseling. Often, one of the main issues in a marriage is communication. A therapist is a great resource to help you develop better ways to communicate with one another. They can also help you with big life changes and give you ways to handle disputes more healthily.

Take a Short Break

One last-ditch effort to save your marriage before filing for divorce is to take a short break. This is not a formal separation. Therefore, set a time limit of a week or so. Take the time to sort out your feelings and get some space. Sometimes, having a little time to reflect alone can give you the perspective you need to see both sides of an issue.

Work on Yourself

Finally, it’s always a good idea to work on yourself but especially before filing for divorce. Speak with a therapist to help you sort out some of the emotions you are feeling. Try to let go of the victim mentality and see if you can get some perspective on your partner’s side of your issues. Sometimes when we are unhappy, it can show up as relationship issues. We blame our partners for the negative emotions we feel towards ourselves. A therapist can help you sort through these feelings.

If you are trying to save your marriage, there are some steps you can take before filing for divorce. It’s important to try everything you can so that you don’t have regrets later in life. Divorce is a serious step to take and an intense process. You want to make sure that you are ready for it before you file. Make sure that you and your partner have taken the time to have a real and serious conversation about your future. Set time aside in your schedule and plan the discussion so that you don’t say things in the heat of an argument. Try marriage counseling together or speaking to a therapist on your own. And you can take a short break to get some perspective as well. Hopefully, some of these suggestions will help you save your marriage and will allow you to grow as a couple.

Divorce Do’s and Don’ts

There is plenty of divorce do’s and don’ts to help make the process a little smoother for you. Divorce is one of the most stressful things that a person can go through in life. There are tons of things to watch out for, hidden landmines, and unexpected emotions. However, you can make it a little easier by sticking to these big do’s and don’ts. Do prepare early for your divorce and keep yourself organized. You should also make sure to hire an attorney early in the process who will represent your interests. Don’t trash talk your ex, especially on social media. And don’t forget self-care. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by the stress, so make sure to set aside time to take care of yourself, too. Hopefully, your divorce will be a smooth transition and you and your ex can start the next chapter of your lives.

Divorce Do’s and Don’ts: How to Have a Healthy Breakup

Do: Prepare Early

One of the most important divorce do’s and don’ts is to make sure that you do prepare early. You want to get organized before you even begin the legal process. Gather financial documents and bank statements, and get together all the paperwork you might need to show your attorney. In addition, begin gathering a list of your personal property, your insurance policy information, and any legal wills or powers of attorney. The sooner you can gather all of these things the quicker the process will be.

Do: Get a Lawyer

Another of the divorce do’s and don’ts is to make sure that you do get an attorney. And get one early in the process. An attorney will represent your interests in your divorce case and will fight on your behalf to get the best settlement for you. They can instruct you on each step of the process and help you organize. When deciding which attorney to hire, find out if they have represented people in similar situations to yours. In addition, make sure that they have plenty of experience, proper credentials, and a professional manner. They aren’t there to be your friend or therapist: they’re there to fight hard for your interests.

Don’t: Trash Talk Your Ex

One of the most important divorce do’s and don’ts is don’t ever trash talk your ex. Especially on social media. You might have a lot of negative feelings towards your ex and you might want to let the world know. However, it can hurt your settlement if you are trashing them on social media or around town. In addition, if you are involved in a custody battle, trash-talking can not only hurt your kids but also your case. A judge is looking to see if you are willing to co-parent well, and trash-talking doesn’t show a commitment to a healthy co-parenting relationship.

Don’t: Forget Self-Care

Finally, one of the divorce do’s and don’ts that often get overlooked is don’t forget about self-care. Divorce is completely overwhelming. It’s easy to let stress and anxiety take over. In addition, you’re likely feeling hurt, guilt, excitement, nervousness, bitterness, confusion, and any other number of feelings. But don’t forget to take care of yourself. Take time each day to do something that makes you feel happy. This could be as simple as taking a moment to listen to a soothing song. Or a bubble bath, journaling for a few minutes, or a phone call with a friend. Just make sure that you prioritize your mental health. Speak with a therapist if you are feeling overwhelmed, as they can give you lots of advice on stress relief.

The divorce do’s and don’ts list could go on for pages and pages. However, these are big ones that can help make the process much smoother. Do make sure to organize early and hire an attorney as soon as you begin the process. They’ll be able to guide you every step of the way and get you the best settlement process. Don’t trash-talk your ex on social media as it can end up hurting your settlement or your custody battle. And don’t forget to take a little time for self-care. Divorce can easily feel overwhelming, so take a moment to check in with yourself periodically and take care of your mental health. Divorce can be stressful and sad, but hopefully, you can get the settlement you want. And hopefully, you can move on from this painful chapter of your life and begin the next one.

Talking About Money with Your Spouse

Talking about money can be an awkward conversation for many people. Many are brought up not to discuss finances with anybody, even their spouse. However, finances are one of the main sources of stress in a marriage. You and your spouse must be able to have healthy discussions about money. It’s not a good idea to have one spouse handle all the finances in a relationship. It should be a group effort between the two of you so that you both have a say in things. Choose the right moments to talk about money, plan them. And continue to have them throughout your marriage. Money will always be a part of your life, so keep the conversation going. And make sure that both you and your spouse can be honest with each other about mistakes. Having a healthy relationship with finances will strengthen your marriage.

Talking About Money with Your Spouse: Having the Awkward Conversation

Do I have to?

Talking about money with your spouse is very important and a necessary part of any marriage. Finances are one of the main sources of stress in relationships and are often cited as a reason for divorce. Both spouses must have a say in their spending habits. It’s also important that both spouses are aware of your overall financial health in the relationship. Many times, people are blind-sided about the state of their finances if they haven’t been having conversations throughout their marriage about money. Being unaware of your financial situation and trusting your partner with money can leave you vulnerable and ill-prepared if something changes in your marriage.

Choose the Right Moment

Talking about money should be an ongoing discussion in your marriage. However, it’s important to pick the right time to talk about money. It’s a great idea to schedule a time to talk about money together. For example, plan a meal one night where you’ll check in with each other and discuss financial goals. Make sure to have financial conversations when you’re both calm. For instance, it’s not a great idea to bring up money when you’re in the middle of a fight.

Make it an Ongoing Discussion

While you should be careful about picking the right time for talking about money, it should be an ongoing discussion in your marriage. Money is something that will always be a part of your life, and it’s easy to get into troublesome spending habits. One way to prevent this is to make sure that you are frequently checking in with one another. Your relationship will change, and your financial goals likely will as well.

Be Honest About Mistakes

Finally, when talking about money with your spouse, it’s important, to be honest with one another. Hiding debt or financial troubles can lead you down a dangerous path in marriage. You both will likely go off-track with spending once in a while and that’s perfectly normal. However, it’s important to be honest so that you and your partner can work together to get back on track.

Talking about money can be a tricky situation for a lot of people. However, it’s incredibly important in a marriage because finances play such an important role in your overall life. Both partners should be very aware of the financial health of the relationship, and you should work together to create financial goals. Make time in your schedule to discuss your money, and make sure that you keep the discussion going throughout your marriage. Finally, be open and honest about any financial concerns or mistakes. You and your partner need to be on the same page with spending. Having a healthy relationship with finances can increase the strength of your marriage and smooth out a lot of marital stress. Whether you have plenty of money or are struggling financially, it’s important to handle it as a team.

Reasons Why Abuse Can Increase During the Holidays

Unfortunately, while the holidays are meant to be a magical time of year, abuse can increase during the holidays. There are many specific reasons for this, but the overarching reason is simply stress. The holidays are a time when everybody is a little more stressed than usual. And in volatile relationships, this can, unfortunately, lead to an increase in abuse. Abuse can be physical but it can also be financial, sexual, or emotional. The increase in alcohol during the holidays can also be a contributing factor. In addition, people are often under more pressure financially. And finally, family dynamics can add another layer of stress to any situation. If you are experiencing abuse in your relationship, reach out for support and get the help you need to get away safely.

Reasons Why Abuse Can Increase During the Holidays: The Stress of the Season


Stress is the main reason why abuse can increase during the holidays. The holidays are more stressful because there is increased pressure to partake in all sorts of holiday activities. You have the added work of finding presents for family members. In addition, kids are often home from school and over-excited. All of these things can increase stress levels. Often, when abusers are stressed, they are more likely to lash out. They can reach a breaking point and be unable to control themselves.

More Alcohol

Another reason why abuse can increase during the holidays is that there is more alcohol. Alcohol is a big part of why some people hurt their partners. During the holidays, there are a lot of parties and events where drinking is common. This can lead to more abuse if the drinker is a mean drunk. Or if they simply have lower restraint.

Financial Stress

Financial stress is another big part of why abuse can increase during the holidays. Money is one of the biggest stressors in a relationship. It can cause many fights as well. And these can, unfortunately, get out of hand quickly. Not to mention the issues that many people are facing this year because of the pandemic. There are a lot of people who are no longer working or taking large cutbacks on hours at work. This can increase financial stress to a very high degree.

Family Stress

Finally, family stress can also be a reason why abuse can increase during the holidays. If your partner doesn’t get along well with their family, you might not see them very often. However, you might have to during the holidays. Family can easily open up old wounds, bring back negative memories, and bring out the worst in people. Because of this, some partners lose their control and end up hurting their spouses.

Abuse can increase during the holidays for many reasons. However, they mostly boil down to stress. Anytime an abuser is at an increase in stress, there is an increase in the risk of abuse. They already likely have a personality where they feel out of control of their actions sometimes. Adding the stress of the holidays to this can make them snap even more quickly. In addition, there is often more drinking and alcohol involved around the holidays because of various events. And financial stress can also increase with the pressure of buying gifts. And finally, any situation can be made much more stressful if you add in family drama as well. If you are experiencing any sort of relationship abuse, reach out and get the help you need. There are many resources available, but you can also reach out to a friend to help you stay safe this holiday season.

Letting People Know You are Getting a Divorce

Letting people know you are getting a divorce can be a stressor you weren’t even expecting. The divorce process is incredibly stressful. But telling people about it can also be a painful experience for many. Go about it in the best way possible to protect yourself and also make your divorce easier. When you first begin talking about divorce, you’ll likely need to talk things over with somebody. But keep it to just close friends and family. Let your boss know that you might be missing some work. After things are final, it’s okay to start letting everybody else know. However, when you go about this, make sure that you are keeping things friendly and civil. Being respectful to your ex will serve you better in the end and will likely help you have a less stressful experience.

Letting People Know You are Getting a Divorce: How to Even Start

Keep It to Close Friends or Family First

When you first begin letting people know you are getting a divorce, keep it close. Divorce should be a private matter until it is final and done. However, your close family deserves to know because your ex is a part of their family now too. Let your parents or siblings know about the divorce. If you need a confidant to talk to, choose a friend who will keep your private life private. You don’t want them spilling your beans to everybody you know!

Let Your Boss Know

When letting people know you are getting a divorce, it’s also a good idea to let your work know. There’s a good chance that you’ll need to miss some work for divorce proceedings. The court is only open during regular office hours, so if you go to court, you’ll likely miss some work. You might want to keep your HR representative informed as well.

After Things are Final

Letting people know you are getting a divorce starts when your divorce is final. That’s when it’s okay to start spreading the news. Some couples choose to announce on social media, while others just use word of mouth. You can also send out a mailing letting people know the news. Likely, once you begin telling people, the word will spread through your friends and family.

Keep Things Friendly

Finally, when letting people know you are getting a divorce, it’s important to go about it the best way possible. This means not trash-talking your ex. Sure, you might have a friend that you need to vent to now and then. But airing out your dirty laundry on social media or too many people is not a good idea. It makes you look petty and can make people very uncomfortable. In addition, if you are co-parenting with your ex it can be very damaging to your children. Keep the details to yourself, and keep things civil.

Letting people know you are getting a divorce is a whole part of the process that you might not have even realized can be stressful. However, it’s important to make sure you do it in a way that doesn’t hurt your divorce settlement or affect your future co-parenting relationship with your ex. When you begin the process, let only a few people know. Likely this will just be your close family and maybe a friend or two. Let your work know as well. Once your divorce is final, it’s okay to begin spreading the news at large. However, make sure that you keep things civil and avoid trash-talking your ex. The whole world doesn’t need to know your private life. Hopefully, you and your ex will be able to keep things somewhat friendly and keep the divorce process as stress-free as possible.

Dealing with Emotional Abuse

Dealing with emotional abuse in a relationship can be a difficult journey, however, you must get the help you need. If your partner is abusive physically or emotionally, you need to try to get help. Otherwise, you will stay unhappy forever. Find somebody you trust and ask for their help. Focus on yourself and find things that give you confidence. Avoid engaging with your abuser and set boundaries with them. And while doing all of this, try to work out an exit plan for leaving the relationship. Abusers rarely stop their abuse, and sometimes it can escalate into more dangerous situations. Get the help you need to get out of the relationship so that you can find somebody who will respect you more.

Dealing with Emotional Abuse: How to Feel Better

Get Support from Somebody You Trust

When dealing with emotional abuse, it’s helpful to find a support person that you trust. Go to a close friend or family member and tell them what has been going on. Hopefully, they can help you find a source of help. They might be able to help you work out a way of getting out of the relationship safely. You can also speak to a therapist if you are uncomfortable sharing with a friend.

Focus on Yourself

Another important thing to take time to do when dealing with emotional abuse is to focus on yourself. Emotional abusers generally like to make their victims feel shame and embarrassment. Find something that gives you confidence and makes you feel happy. Maybe there’s a new hobby that you’ve been wanting to try out or an old one that you’d like to pick back up.

Avoid Engaging

Avoid engaging with your abuser when dealing with emotional abuse. If they begin starting an argument, set clear boundaries. For example, you can tell them that if they begin insulting you that you are walking away. Then follow through after. If they start insulting, leave and walk away. Try not to engage with the abuse as much as possible.

Work Out an Exit Plan

Finally, one last thing to consider when dealing with emotional abuse is working out an exit plan. An abusive relationship is not a healthy relationship. You deserve to be with somebody who respects you and cherishes you. In addition, emotional abuse can sometimes escalate into physical abuse. Try to find a safe way to leave the relationship without getting yourself hurt. Enlist the help of a friend or the national abuse hotline for assistance.

When dealing with emotional abuse, it’s important to find a way to keep yourself happy and confident. Your abuser might try their hardest to bring you down, but it’s important to find things that give you happiness. Reach out to a friend, family member, or therapist to help you. Find a hobby or distraction to focus on that makes you feel confident. Avoid engaging with your abuser whenever possible. And finally, try to work out a safe way to exit the relationship. You deserve to be with somebody that respects you and that you can trust. Hopefully, you’ll be able to safely leave your abuser and move on to a much more healthy relationship in the future.

Four Relationship Red Flags to Watch Out For

There are many relationship red flags to look out for when you start dating somebody. However, there are a few that are classic signs of emotional abuse. One of these is a lack of trust. If your partner needs to keep tabs on you all the time it can also be a warning sign. Another red flag is if they don’t have any other interests besides the relationship. And finally, if they are trying to put pressure on you to move faster than you feel comfortable, it’s a warning sign. If you notice any of these behaviors in your relationship, it might be time to examine them to see if it’s healthy.

Four Relationship Red Flags to Watch Out For (And Run From)

Lack of Trust

One of the main relationship red flags to look out for is a lack of trust. If your partner is always needing the details of where you’re going and who you are with, it shows a deep lack of trust. This is often a sign that they are insecure in the relationship. If they accuse you of cheating or being unfaithful when there is no reason, it also shows a lack of trust.


One of the relationship red flags that are a clear indicator of emotional abuse is if your partner is controlling. This can present in many ways. Some partners want to keep tabs on where you go anytime you leave the house. Some go as far as installing trackers or going through your phone. Others use finances as a way to control and abuse their partners. If your partner is overly-controlling, it’s best to walk away before things escalate.

Lack of Interests

Another of the relationship red flags to be on the lookout for is if your partner doesn’t have interests outside of the relationship. For example, if they want to spend all of their time with you. Or if they don’t have a group of friends to hang out with outside of your relationship. While it’s fine to want to spend a lot of time with your partner it’s still important to maintain friendships and interests outside of the relationship.

Pressuring You

Finally, one final example of relationship red flags to look out for is if your partner is pressuring you. No caring partner should pressure you to move faster than you feel comfortable. If they are trying to put pressure on you to get intimate too quickly, have a frank conversation with them. Both partners must respect each others’ boundaries.

There are many relationship red flags to look for, but it’s especially important to look out for ones that can indicate early signs of emotional abuse. For example, if they don’t trust you and if you’ve never given them a reason to be mistrustful, it’s a warning sign. Similarly, if they keep tabs on you or try to control you, it can quickly get out of hand. In a healthy relationship, both partners should have interests and friendships outside of their dating lives. And finally, a loving and respectful partner will not pressure you to move faster than you feel comfortable. If you notice any of these red flags, it’s important to examine your relationship. Make sure that you are committing to somebody that respects you!

Building Your Credit After a Divorce

Building your credit after a divorce is extremely important. Your credit score affects what kind of apartment or home you can afford as well as what vehicle you can purchase and much more. If you have a low or no credit score, it will be difficult to even find a place to live after you are separated. So building up your credit during or right after your divorce is key. Open up your accounts and begin putting all of your sole money in there. Pay all of your bills on time every month, and pay off credit cards as well. Work with your ex if there is any joint debt. And finally, set a tight monthly budget and stick to it as closely as possible. Divorce can negatively impact your credit score, so it’s important to know how to build credit back afterward.

Building Your Credit After a Divorce: Recovering Financially

Open Your Own Accounts

Building your credit after divorce begins with you opening up your bank accounts in your name only. You likely already have some joint accounts with your ex, but now is the time to open some that are only in your name. You’ll want to open a savings and checking account. Move all of the money that is yours alone into these accounts. It’s also a good time to go ahead and close any joint accounts. You don’t want your ex running up large debts with your name still attached to the accounts.

Pay Bills on Time

It’s important to pay all of your bills on time when building your credit after a divorce. This also includes new payments like alimony and child support. If you are late on your bills each month, it can negatively impact your credit score. It’s also a good idea to pay off your credit cards in full each month.

Work With Your Ex

While building your credit after a divorce, you might have to deal with some joint debt with your ex. It may be the last thing you want to do to contact your ex, but if you can work together to pay off joint debt quickly, it will help your credit. There are many ways to work on paying off debt, for example, the debt snowball. This is where you pay off your smallest debts first, then use the money that you save from those debts to pay off larger ones. Eventually, you are debt-free.

Set a Monthly Budget

Finally, when building your credit after a divorce, it’s extremely important to set a monthly budget. It’s best to set a very tight budget and live as modestly as possible for a little while. This will ensure that you have plenty of money to pay off any debts and pay off credit card bills every month. If you have plenty of money in savings, an unexpected expense isn’t the emergency it might be if you weren’t budgeting well.

Building your credit after a divorce can take a while, so it’s important to start as soon as possible. Some people think it’s wise to go ahead and open up a credit card or bank account before they even begin the divorce process so that they can start establishing credit on their own. Always pay your bills on time each month, including any new payments like alimony or child support. Work with your ex to try and pay off joint debts as quickly as possible to help both of your credit scores. And finally, budget budget budget. Living frugally will allow you to put away some savings so that unexpected expenses don’t end up hurting your credit score by going to collections. Helpfully, you’ll be able to bounce back financially from divorce and build up your credit quickly.

Outsider Clues to Abuse in a Relationship

Outsider clues to abuse in a relationship can be very helpful if you suspect somebody you know is a victim of domestic abuse. Often people in this situation are embarrassed or ashamed and don’t want to come forward. Or they might be worried about what effect it will have on their partner. If you are concerned about a friend, look for sudden behavior changes. Sometimes this also shows up in clothing style changes as well. If you feel uncomfortable around their partner, it’s probably your gut telling you something is wrong. And finally, if they start drinking or using drugs, it’s a warning sign that they are hurting. Hopefully, you can help them get the help they need.

Outsider Clues to Abuse in a Relationship: Is Somebody You Know in Need of Help?

Behavior Changes

One of the outside clues to abuse that might have led you to even start researching this is sudden behavior changes. If your previously-happy friend is suddenly acting depressed, it might be a sign that something is wrong in their relationship. If this is true, they might get overly defensive. Or they might have trouble finding their words or seem reluctant to talk about their dating life. Another clue is if they seem to have little time for you, are acting rushed, or cancel frequently. This might be a sign that their partner is overly controlling.

Style Changes

Another of the outsider clues to abuse in a relationship is a sudden style change. Of course, plenty of people change their clothing style often. However, if your friend is suddenly wearing clothes that seem very out of character, it might be a warning sign. Often overly controlling partners want their victims to dress very conservatively so that they’re covered up. And of course, if they are being physically abused, they might wear clothing to cover up injuries.

If You Are Uncomfortable Around Their Partner

If you feel uncomfortable around your friend’s new partner, it might be your gut telling you something. Trust your instincts if things feel off. Some outsider clues to abuse might be if your friend looks to their partner before answering or talking. Or if they seem to be uncomfortable around them or “pretending” too hard that all is well. You might also notice if their behaviors and mannerisms change when they’re in the presence of their partner.

Drinking or Substance Abuse

Finally, one of the outsider clues to abuse to watch for is if your friend starts abusing alcohol or drugs. If you can’t find any source of their unhappiness, but they’re suddenly drinking more heavily, it’s probably a clue that something is wrong. Often it is an issue with the relationship. Let them know that you will be there to support them if they’d like your help in quitting.

If you suspect that a friend might be in an abusive relationship, outsider clues to abuse can help you figure it out. If your friend changes their behavior all of a sudden or starts dressing differently, it might be a warning sign. Another red flag is if you get a bad feeling about your partner or notice that they act strangely around them. And finally, if they suddenly start drinking or using drugs. If you notice any of these signs in your friend, it might be worth it to set aside time to talk to them privately about their relationship. Know that victims sometimes are too afraid to come forward, so they may not tell you everything that’s going on. But it’s helpful to reassure them all the same that you can help. Hopefully, they’ll remember your offer and be brave enough to accept your help later.