Shuffling the children back and forth from Mom’s house to Dad’s house can be difficult. It’s easy to forget things, it’s hard to keep them in sync, and it’s extremely tough to maintain uniform rules within both households. You might not think that doing so is essential. But, keeping the rules in tune will make a huge difference in making sure that the home fronts are unified, and their isn’t the sordid competition of ‘Mom lets me do….’ or ‘Dad doesn’t make me…’. Creating a set of uniform rules that you each adhere to will make parenting easier and save you the competition.
Maintaining Uniform Rules: Co-parenting made simple
Now, obviously we know there will be some variability from one house to another— and there should be. Certain things such as what chores they have to do, and your own personal routines. But there are other things that should be maintained from one home to another.
Those things should include such rules as: what movies are allowed, curfew, bedtime, when the homework gets done— ultimately, the essentials and the regimen that needs to be maintained. The things that affect their lifestyle— such as homework and bedtime, should be no-debate areas in both homes.
Allow for each parent to parent in their own way while honoring your system
Maintaining those uniforms rules according to lifestyle are important, but so is having some variance. No parent is the same, and no parenting style is either. Keeping the after-school regimen the same, while also having your own hobbies and activities with your child, is extremely important to the relationship. Mom and child start each morning with waffles and the paper. Dad and child go play soccer every day after school.
Creating your little traditions that are unique to you and the child can be something that they look forward to. Something a bit different, so you have that variance from one home to the other. Your child should know that they can have fun with dad in one way, and with mom in the other. But, they should also know but that some things that are not up for change.
Honoring this agreement you both made is important to displaying unity early on in a divorce
Your child, or children, is the main priority when it comes to the relationship between you and the co-parent. While the two of you are no longer together as a couple, you are still a family when it comes to your children. Creating a stable environment for them as they adjust to the shuffling back and forth from one home to the other, is important to showing them that some things are unchanging.