It is not uncommon for parents that are divorcing, to feel the need to establish custody agreements right away. Things are uncertain, life is changing, and to have this stable— seems pretty enticing. But, the problem with setting an agreement straight away is that you might end up leaving something out. Take your time to figure out what each parent, and the child needs. When you have the opportunity and the open line of communication, it is quite beneficial to do so. Let us explain why…
Taking your time to Establish Custody Agreements
Rushing often leads to mistakes
Think about it, you haven’t really had any time to figure out how you guys work as co-parents. Not taking the time to figure it out can cause a huge headache in the long run. Dad works late on Tuesdays now. But your hastily made agreement requires he pick up his daughter from Ballet on Tuesday evening. Mom has a business trip out of town every Thursday through Saturday. But she’s been granted three out of four weekends a month. So, you can see how quickly a custody agreement might be broken if you do not take consideration in crafting it.
Someone will inevitably get the short end of the stick
Making hasty decisions will always lead to something being forgotten, it’s inevitable. And when it comes to custody agreements, something left out typically means one parent has lost out. Whether it be one weekend too few for a parent, or a lack of weekends at all— not taking your time, seeing what works for each of you, and proceeding accordingly— can do more harm than good in many situations.
Rushing on one parents end could be an ulterior motive
Depending on how you and your former spouse coexist, there might be an ulterior motive in trying to push the proceedings along. It is not uncommon for parents to use their child as a bargaining chip. Especially when it comes to getting back at their former spouse. It’s sad, but it’s true. If you know your co-parent is not quite ‘happy’ with you and is looking for a way to spite you— rushing into a custody agreement is a good way to do it.
While it might seem like taking the time to establish custody agreements straight out of the gate can take a lot off of your plate, it can lead to trouble in the long run
If you are pursuing custody, then we already know that you have an interest in being a large part of your child’s life. So, why rush one of the largest decisions you’ll make during the divorce? Take the time to consider prior agreements, work arrangements, and how to create a schedule around custody agreements. Doing all of this before you take it to a judge will have you best prepared. If you and your co-parent can rally around this agreement, decide what works, and accommodate each person peacefully— you’ll be much better for it than you are if you rush in an attempt to slight the other person.