If you and your family are considering an adoption — there are plenty of questions to ask yourselves. From: are you ready? To, what age range and origin? And everything in between. There is a lot that goes into making the decision to adopt. And it is a fantastic choice to make, but there are a few trends to follow and a few to be weary of when you are making the decision as to how and when to adopt.
Adoption: Deciding if the Process is a Right Fit
There is a lot that goes into adoption, and a lot of factors to consider. For starters, is your family ready for this? An adoption is a heavy load to bear. Both financially and emotionally. Whether you are adopting a baby, a toddler, or an older child of the foster system— no two adoptions or circumstances are the same. There will be a period of adjustment, for both your current family and your new one.
Going into this expecting it to be easy, or a smooth transition is unrealistic. No matter the circumstance, you are taking on another child— and you are taking on one that is as unfamiliar to you as you are to them. The best piece of advice we can give is do not take this lightly, but do not let the hard work discourage you.
What is the child’s background?
Choosing to adopt a child out of the foster care system is a completely honorable choice. For starters, you’re choosing the children that often get left out or spend their life wrapped up in a system that doesn’t protect them. But that doesn’t mean that it will be all sunshine and rainbows from the start. You have to be prepared to help the child. From adjusting to a new home, to a stable environment, and to people who genuinely care about them.
Children of the foster care system often grow up being treated poorly, are sexually and physically assaulted, and have a particular kind of guard up.
Getting your adoptive child to open up, getting them to tell you what they need, and finding ways to establish a connection will be no easy task. It could take weeks, months, even years to get to a point where they are completely comfortable with you. Having the strength to be patient, give them space, and form trust will be harder for them. And you must understand that unless you are a former child of the foster care system yourself. There is no way for you to truly understand what they are going through. Therefore, you have to be willing to bend and help them in different ways than your other children.
Domestic versus international?
This is a question many run into when they begin to consider adoption. Whether they want to adopt a child out of an impoverished country or they want to adopt out of their own back yard— there are different factors that go into all of this. For starters, international adoption is expensive. You have multiple trips to consider. Not to mention, extended periods of time spent in a foreign country and away from work. This can add a lot of financial stress as you try to create a better life for a child outside of everything they’ve ever known.
Domestic adoptions are a bit more cut and dry. They’re more obtainable, cheaper, and you have a better chance of adopting a newborn baby if that is your goal. Other countries typically try to adopt babies into their own communities before seeking outside opportunities. Ultimately, there are a lot of factors to consider when you being to consider adoption.
If this is something you feel passionate about doing, don’t let anything stop you.
If you have the means and the willingness to make an adoption, you will be making a huge difference. There are so many children that the system leaves behind. If you can change just one of their lives— I guarantee that the community, and you both, will be better for it.