Child Custody Agreements: The Illusion Behind it All

When you and your spouse come to a custody agreement, chances are at least one of you is going to feel slighted. Some way, some how— one parent always feels that they are getting the short end of the stick. Whether you were seeking out primary custody, a birds nest agreement, or three weekends and you got two— there are a few things you need to remember about child custody agreements.

Child Custody Agreements: The Illusion Behind It All

Something you must try and remember is this: a custody agreement is merely that. It is an agreement set in place to honor the best interest of the child. You might feel like they did not make the best choice, and that is understandable. Right now you might be feeling as if you don’t have the ability to parent the way that you are meant to. You might feel left out when it comes to your child.

Custody is a formality

If you and your co-parent are in a good place when it comes to your child— there is no need to worry. This agreement is a set of guidelines. It is a how-to for parents that are navigating the in’s and out’s of co-parenting for the first time. That does not mean you cannot bend them a bit. It also doesn’t mean that you aren’t still a primary part of your child’s life. You still have the right to be part of daily decision. You are also still a factor when it comes to  discipline. In short, you are still the same parent you have always been.

You have the ability to pick and choose the best of both worlds

The best part is, you and your co-parent have the freedom to make a few more choices when it comes to things like: which parent lives in the best school district, which parent has the best karate studio close by, one parent lives closer to Tuesday swim practice? Perfect. Child custody agreements do not have to be totally bound unless one or both parents are strict about it. But, giving yourself the ability to play with it and accommodate both of you, and the child, a bit better is a great way to make the best of it.

Don’t stress over it

If both of you can be ‘lax about the plan, the benefits are endless. As we’ve said, pick and choose what works for both of you. If you treat this new arrangement as if you are a single parent and you try to carry too much of the load, stress. Treat the agreement as something you both can flex on. By doing so, you will help the child and each other to live an easier life. I can guarantee you, all three relationships will be better for it in the end.