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Starting the Adoption Process

Starting the adoption process can be extremely overwhelming for many families. Especially if you have been waiting a very long time to grow your family. The first step is to educate yourself about the adoption process itself, what it’s like to parent an adoptive child, and the costs of different types of adoption. Finances will be an important factor to consider when choosing what type of agency or adoption to look at. Then, you’ll need to look at your options and decide who you’d want to work with for the process. Speaking with other adoptive parents can be hugely beneficial, as this process can come with its own challenges. Hopefully, you’ll get the information that you need to help you make a decision and grow your family the way that works best for you.

Starting the Adoption Process: What to Know

Educate Yourself

The first step in starting the adoption process is to educate yourself. Adopting a child is a big undertaking, and there are a lot of factors to consider. You’ll need to figure out what type of adoption feels like a good fit, and think hard about what you are looking for in a potential match. Consider if you are open to adopting a special needs child, an older child, a child of a different race, or siblings. If you have a partner, you both need to equally be on board with this choice because you’ll need to rely on one another when things feel stressful or when you feel overwhelmed. 

Consider Finances

One of the most important factors when starting the adoption process is to look into the costs of different types of adoption. There are a few options available. For example, there is private domestic adoption, adoption from foster care, and international adoption. Each have different financial requirements and concerns. For example, if you are doing an international adoption, you’ll need to factor in traveling expenses to meet your child as well as the costs of the agency.

Look Into Private Companies and Agencies

Connecting with the right agency is an important step of the process. There are agencies that will help adoptive parents match with a birth mother who is choosing an adoptive plan who will be a good fit. There are also private and public agencies that work with the foster care system and Department of Social Services to help foster children find adoptive parents. And international adoption agencies will help you begin the process of considering a non-domestic adoption. Once you choose which agency you want to work with, they will guide you through their specific requirements and process.

Talk to Other Adoptive Parents

One thing that is incredibly important when starting the adoption process is to speak with others who have been through it before. There will be hoops to jump through, like immense amounts of paperwork, home studies, or even classes required in some instances. And even after the stress of the adoption process, it can also been challenging to bring a new child into your family. Especially if they are older, have special needs, or you have other children and you are blending your family. You’ll need to gather a support system around you and making connections with other adoptive parents is a great place to start.

Starting the adoption process is an exciting step towards building your family. But it can also be a scary one. Adoption is a complicated process that can take a very long time, a lot of perseverance, and also substantial funds. You’ll need to educate yourself on the different types of adoption available to you, from domestic private adoption to foster care adoption or international adoption. Each of these processes are different, have different requirements, different timelines, and different financial obligations. When you do choose an agency, they will begin the process of screening you as a potential parent and finding a match that will work well with your family. It’s very helpful to start connecting with other adoptive parents because this process can be daunting at times. And welcoming a new child into your family, whether through adoption or not, is a huge undertaking. New parents always need a support network around them, so begin building yours as soon as possible. Hopefully, you’ll be able to navigate thi

Preparing for the Death of a Parent

Preparing for the death of a parent is a difficult thing to even think about. However, as parents age, it’s important to discuss with them what they want for their end of life care. It’s best to discuss things like estate planning or legal decisions while they are still healthy and in full control of their faculties. It’s also important to be proactive about your mental health. Gather your support system around you, and begin speaking with a mental health professional and getting into healthy routines. Discuss estate planning with your parents so they can decide how they want their assets and possessions to be handled after death. And finally, discuss things like end of life care so that you know you are following their wishes when it comes to their medical treatment. This is a painful topic to think about, and it can be emotional for families to discuss. However, it can help relieve stress in the end because you will feel confident that you are honoring your parent’s wishes.

Preparing for the Death of a Parent: A Difficult Time

Be Proactive About Mental Health

When preparing for the death of a parent, it’s important to be proactive about your mental health. This will be an incredible difficult time for you, your spouse, children, and your other living parent if you have one. It’s a good idea to find a therapist or mental health professional to speak to about your concerns ahead of time. That way, they can help you prepare mentally and can help guide you through this difficult time. Get into a healthy routine of exercise, getting sleep, and eating a balanced diet so that your body is able to face the stresses of grief. 

Gather Your Support System

It’s also helpful to begin gathering your support system early when preparing for the death of a parent. Let close friends or family know what is happening, and let them know how they can be helpful. People don’t always know exactly how to respond in situations like this, so offering them some ideas of what can be supportive will help. For example, you might ask that they prepare meals or provide childcare while you tend to your parent.

Estate Planning

While it can be awkward to discuss, it is important to consider estate planning if you’re preparing for the death of a parent. If they are still in control of their mental faculties, they’ll need to consider how they want their assets and possessions handled after death. If they have a living spouse, it’s something they should discuss together so that the spouse knows what their wishes are for when they eventually pass too. Hiring an experienced estate attorney can help you navigate decisions like passing down property, assets, and possessions.

End of Life Decisions

Finally, you’ll also need to discuss end of life decisions if possible. There are many questions to be asked when it comes to end of life care. For example, do they want CPR or resuscitation? Do they want a feeding tube or ventilator? Who do they want making medical decisions on their behalf? Having an idea of what they prefer can give you peace of mind that you are honoring their wishes. They might also have preferences when it comes to funeral arrangements or burial vs cremation. While it’s painful and uncomfortable to discuss, these are important decisions that they might have strong feelings about, so it’s best to hear it straight from them if possible.

There is nothing that can alleviate the pain of preparing for the death of a parent. But getting as many things in order before it happens can help you deal with the logistical side of things early so that you can focus on your emotional wellbeing when the time comes. Be proactive about mental health care for yourself and family by finding a therapist or counselor to talk to. Gather your support system and let them know what kind of things will help in the upcoming weeks. If possible, have your parent discuss their estate planning decisions with you and their living spouse if applicable. They’ll also need to decide on end of life decisions like who they want in charge of their medical care, and what kinds of treatments they prefer. While it’s uncomfortable to think about, and definitely painful to discuss, having these conversations can actually make things less stressful when they pass away. You’ll know that you are honoring their wishes and won’t have to wonder if you are making the right decisions.

Shared Custody Holiday Schedule

If you are trying to figure out a shared custody holiday schedule with your ex, it can be an emotional and confrontational process sometimes. Everybody has special traditions that they want to celebrate with their children when it comes to holidays. But when you are sharing custody, there will inevitably be some times when you have to be separated from your kids even though you don’t want to.

There are plenty of options you can take for fairly dividing holidays. Some parents choose to split the day up and have a custody switch during the day. Others divvy up holidays throughout the year based on each parent’s preferences. Others choose to switch off from year to year with their kids. However, even if you aren’t able to celebrate on the day with your kids, you can still have your own celebration with them, even if it’s a few days late. Your children won’t care what day it is, they’ll just be happy to be with you and creating special memories together.

Shared Custody Holiday Schedule: Figuring Out Logistics

Split the Day

One example of a shared custody holiday schedule involves splitting the actual day of important holidays. For example, you could celebrate a Thanksgiving lunch with your children and then drop them off at their other parent’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. Talk about a lot of turkey! This allows both parents to have some time with their kids on the holiday itself. The only drawback is that it can feel like a lot of shuffling around for children, and can be a little overwhelming for little ones.

Divvy Up Holidays

Another potential shared custody holiday schedule involves divvying up holidays throughout the year. This works well if parents each have separate holidays that they are particularly fond of. For example, if one parent is Jewish and the other Christian, it’s easier to work out who will have the children throughout December. If one parent really loves to celebrate Halloween and the other really loves Thanksgiving, you can divvy up those holidays fairly between you. This idea really only works when coparents are able to really compromise together and figure out a system that feels fair to everybody.

Switch Off Years

Others parents choose to celebrate holidays every other year with their children. For example, the children go with one parent this Christmas, and then next year, they switch to the other parent. You can still divvy up the holidays throughout the year so that each parent gets a few that are special to them. But every other year, there will be some sadness if it’s not your year with your children.

Celebrate Separately 

Finally, even if you are dealing with some arguments or don’t really get your way when it comes to your shared custody holiday schedule, you can still make precious memories with your children. Your kids don’t really care what day an actual holiday falls on. So if it’s important to you to celebrate with them, just hold your own celebration when you get them back. Most likely, your kids will be more than happy to celebrate two holidays. Just make sure to remember that the important thing is that you create memories and traditions together, no matter if it’s the actual calendar day of a holiday or not.

Figuring out a shared custody holiday schedule can be a real headache for new coparents. Any sort of custody situation is bound to have some heated moments, but holidays are one that parents get particularly emotional about. And it makes sense because holidays are such an important part of our memories from childhood. You can opt to split up the day itself so that each parent has some time with their children on the actual holiday. However, this can be tiring for younger children, and it can make holidays seem rushed and frantic. You can also divvy up holidays that are of particular importance to each of you throughout the year if you’re able to compromise on things. You can also switch off every other year for holidays too.

It can be hard to be apart from your children, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t still celebrate with them when you have custody again. Even if you aren’t celebrating with your children on the actual day of the holiday, they won’t remember that in the future. All they’ll remember is how much fun you had together.

Tips for Your Adoption Home Study

If you’re planning to adopt, an important part of the process will be your adoption home study. This is when a social worker visits your home and makes sure that’s it’s a safe environment for a child. While a lot of people stress about this process, it’s really just a matter of making sure that your child has a nurturing environment in which to grow up. Do your research so you know what to expect and what’s required in your state. Clean, but don’t go too crazy with things. Try to baby proof your home and prepare a room for your future child. And finally, relax a little bit. Try to remember that your case worker wants this to be successful for you too. Hopefully, your visit will go great and you’ll be one step closer to growing your family.

Tips for Your Adoption Home Study: Don’t Stress Too Much

Research

Before your adoption home study, it can help to do some research. Each state has certain requirements for homes. For example, there might be requirements about the room size for your future child, and they might need things like windows in the room. Know what your agent will be looking for up front so you can make sure that your home meets the standards.

Clean, But Don’t Go Crazy

It’s helpful to clean ahead of your adoption home study. However, it’s not necessary to go totally crazy with the cleaning. You just want to present a pleasant and welcoming environment. Try to clean as if you were having company over, because after all, that’s what this visit is. A chance for your case worker to get to know you a little better.

Baby Proof

Another great thing to do ahead of your adoption home study is baby proofing. You can cover up electrical outlets if you’re expecting to welcome a baby or toddler. For any child, make sure that if you have a pool that it’s properly fenced off. If you have pets that can be aggressive, begin thinking of alternative plans for where they might live. Make sure all windows are operable, and remove any hazards from the home.

Relax

Finally, relax. Try to remember that your adoption home study is just a chance for your case worker to get to know a little bit more about your family and your home. They are on your side and want every child to go to a loving home. They aren’t looking for reasons to ding you out of the program. Be polite and open with them. Try to remember that they just want what’s best for every child.

Your adoption home study is an exciting step in the adoption process. But it’s one that a lot of parents can get a little bit stressed about. Try to relax and remember that this isn’t a chance for somebody to criticize every aspect of your home. Rather, it’s a chance for them to let you know if there are any things that you need to address before a child arrives. Do a little research on what is necessary in your area, and make changes accordingly. Clean up the home so that’s it’s tidy and welcoming. Try to go ahead and prepare a room for your future child, and plan to baby proof if they are young. Finally, relax. As long as you plan to welcome your future child into a safe and nurturing environment, your home study will go just fine!

Handling Divorce Stress: Breathing Exercises

Breathing exercises can help you reduce your stress and practice mindfulness, especially if you are going through something stressful like a divorce. You can do these exercises whenever you have a few moments of free time to help you mentally focus. And you can use them if you’re feeling particularly anxious. The idea is to focus solely on just your breathing and let your mind clear for a few moments. There are tons of techniques you can use, but 4-7-8 breathing is one of the most popular. You can also try breathing through alternating nostrils, or lying down and trying diaphragmatic breathing. Finally, the lion’s breath technique is also a good one to try if you are feeling particularly frazzled. Hopefully, you can use these exercises to calm down your nervous system and give yourself some time to clear your head.

Handling Divorce Stress: Breathing Exercises to Calm You Down

4-7-8

4-7-8 breathing is one of the most popular and widely recommended breathing exercises for stress. To do this, sit comfortably and touch your tongue to the back of your upper teeth. Then exhale all of your air in a whooshing sound. Inhale while you count to four. Then hold your breath for 7 counts. Then, exhale slowly with a whooshing sound for 8 counts. You should keep your tongue in the same position for the duration of the exercise. Repeat 3 more times.

Nostril Switch

Another of the easy breathing exercises that you can practice whenever you have a free moment is the alternating nostril switch. To do this, cover your right nostril and breathe in through your left nostril. Then, cover your left nostril and breathe out through the right. Breathe back in through the right and cover it. Breathe out through the left nostril. Breathe back in through the left nostril and cover it. Repeat this pattern for about five minutes or until you feel calmer.

Diaphragmatic Breathing

Some breathing exercises can do more than just battle stress. Diaphragmatic breathing can help you with lung health and blood pressure in addition to calming your nervous system. Lay comfortable on your back with a pillow under your head and knees bent. Lay one hand on your upper chest and the other below your rib cage. Inhale through your nose and feel your stomach press against your hand. Then exhale through pursed lips as you tighten your abdominal muscles. Keep your upper hand perfectly still. Repeat for five minutes several times a day. 

Lions’ Breath

Finally, one last exercise you can try is the lion’s breath technique. It’s an energizing yoga practice that can help release tension in your body. Sit comfortably with your hands on your knees. Inhale deeply through your nose and then open your eyes wide. Open your mouth as widely as you can and stick your tongue out and down as if touching your tongue to your chin. Exhale strongly through your mouth making a deep “haaaa” sound from your belly. As you do this, look up as if looking at the space between your eyebrows. Repeat two or three times.

Deep breathing exercises can be hugely beneficial if you are dealing with divorce stress or anxiety from any situation. And not only that, but some of the techniques can also improve your pulmonary or cardiovascular health as well. It’s important to find the practices that work for you if you are experiencing stress. In addition to deep breathing, you might consider things like journaling, yoga, affirmation, meditation, or speaking with a therapist. You can do deep breathing when you have a few moments throughout your day or when you’re feeling particularly anxious or tense. The main focus is simply to clear your mind of stress and focus it solely on your breathing instead. At least for a little while. Even just a short break like this can help you body and mind to begin to relax a bit. Hopefully, you can find the techniques that work best for you so that you can fight divorce stress and improve your mental health.

Courtroom Courtesy: How To Behave In Court

Whether you’re facing a minor traffic ticket, a DWI, or your divorce case, you want to behave properly in court. From dealing with your attorney, to the other lawyers, to most importantly– the judge. In these cases, you want to be polite and avoid doing anything that could further harm your case. So here’s some basic rules of courtroom courtesy.

Courtroom Courtesy

Don’t Talk To The Other Party’s Attorney

One part of courtroom courtesy that will help your case, is to avoid talking to the other party’s attorney. For the most part, this will be the duty of your own lawyer. Your lawyer can serve as a middle man or go between. In which case, if you have anything to discuss with the other party, your attorney can speak with them. One exception may be if you’ve already talked to your attorney and they advised you to speak with them personally. But for the most part, it’s a good rule just to allow your lawyer to be the middle man.

Never Interrupt the Judge 

Possibly the most important form of courtroom courtesy is to make sure you never interrupt the judge. At times, you may want the opportunity to speak, to defend your case, or plead your cause. But do not, under any circumstances, interrupt the judge. Instead, wait your turn as he or she will give you the opportunity to speak. And when you do, make sure you are polite.

Don’t Interrupt the Opposing Party

Likewise, you don’t want to interrupt the opposing party either. While they may say things you don’t agree with or aren’t true, you’ll be itching to speak out and defend yourself. However, interrupting to do so is not the right move so you need to fight that urge in court.

Come Prepared 

As a good policy for courtroom courtesy, you want come as prepared as possible. That means, having the correct documents, with plenty of copies on hand. Actually, the more prepared you come, the better your case may look. But this can all be confusing so your attorney should assist in making sure you’re ready for your case.

In short, you want to remain polite and respectful to make sure you are practicing courtroom courtesy. From the way you talk to how you dress, you want to make a good impression. That begins with respecting your judge, the courtroom, and the legal process as a whole.

Setting A Healthy Co-Parenting Schedule

As you navigate co-parenting and compromise, it is important that everyone gets their fair share of personal time, as well as time with their children. Aside from making sure the child gets to their activities, to school, and so on— there are other important aspects to make sure you satisfy. Creating a healthy co-parenting schedule, and doing it together, is a fantastic means of getting your feet wet with this new arrangement.

Setting a Healthy Co-Parenting Schedule

You can choose to do this before or after you set a custody agreement, depending on what your priority is. If it’s that of having a court-ordered schedule set before you take the time to organize, that’s fine. Or, you choose to make your schedule before taking it to court. This could also could potentially be very mutually beneficial. If you handle this schedule before deciding how custody should go, each parent might feel a bit better about their end of the deal. Shoot, you might not even end up needing to go before a judge straight away. But how should you go about deciding a schedule? Well, it all starts with cooperation and communication.

Make a list of engagements

From your schedule, the other parents schedule, and the kids. Anything that you know will happen on a consistent basis, plan for it. Divide up responsibilities in a way that allows both parents their personal time, and accommodates the child. The key here is respect. Give the other parent the same respect you are hoping for in honoring everyone’s needs. List it all out, divide it all up, decide where to compromise, and put it in writing.

The agreement must be mutually beneficial

If your agreement is not mutually beneficial, it will create trouble. Part of creating a healthy co-parenting schedule is hearing out the other parent and respecting what they need from this agreement as well. Honor their personal time, their engagements, and their hobbies— quite obviously, they should do the same for you. Dad has bowling league Tuesday nights and works late on Thursdays? See what you can do to accommodate that. Mom has book club Saturday morning and teaches a night class on Monday? Give her the same courtesy. If you can compromise with each other and respect what you each need as well as, doing this agreement together will be much easier and more amicable.

Decide Holidays. Now.

Holidays are always the tough part to handle. Everyone wants them, typically co-parents don’t want to do them together, and the first year is always the hardest. But, if you decide them ahead of time when you’re making this agreement, and when emotion is separated— it will be much easier to honor when the time comes. A good rule of them is if one parent gets Christmas Eve and Christmas, give the other parent Thanksgiving and alternate from there. Whatever works for your family, but deciding ahead of time and honoring it will make all the difference.

Respect the agreement you’ve made

When you finally reach a consensus and your agreement is complete and comprehensive, sign it. Print it, date it, and sign it together. Realize that compromises might have to be made. Dad might have to pick up on Mom’s day from time to time, and vice versa. Be flexible when need be, but have a healthy co-parenting schedule to fall back on when you need it. In the end, you’ll save a headache or ten by deciding what happens and when ahead of time.

Best Interest of the Child in South Carolina

The prevailing standard in SC family courts is the best interest of the child. What this means is that a court will usually make the decision that is in the child’s best interest. Thus, it is imperative that lawyers argue towards this standard. When the termination of parental rights (TPR) is at issue, this standard is the crux of the case. SC DSS v. Cameron N.F.L., Billy J.S., and “John Doe” is a TPR case that focuses on this standard.

What Happened in the Case

DSS filed an intervention action against Mother because of the condition of her home and alleged drug abuse. DSS then removed the child from Mother. The family court then held a TPR hearing. Mother renovated her home and kept it clean. DSS found it suitable for an infant Mother recently gave birth to. DSS also found no evidence of drug abuse. While in foster care, the child lived in at least five homes and suffered developmental regression. The child’s therapist stated that the child had a strong bond with his mother. The child’s first guardian ad litem found that the child was not yet ready for adoption. However, the second GAL found that TPR was in the best interest of the child, despite never seeing the child and Mother interact. The family court ordered TPR. It found it to be in the child’s best interest.

On appeal, the court of appeals reversed the family court. It found that TPR was not in the child’s best interest. The court found that a valuable bond existed between the child and Mother. Further, the court found that the child was not a viable candidate for adoption. Also, the court found it significant that DSS had not identified a pre-adoptive home for the child. Thus, those three factors indicated that TPR was not in the child’s best interest.

TPR and the Child’s Best Interest

If facing a TPR hearing, make sure you have evidence of the child’s interest. A lawyer will know what evidence to gather and how best to present it! So contact us today.