If you are going through a divorce, you’re likely wondering what you can do to help your children cope. They’re stuck somewhere in the middle, and likely have a lot of questions about where we go from here. You might not have all the answers, and that’s okay. But, I’m here to tell you that among many other instances— grandparents are a great help here. We often see our parents, and grandparents, through rose-colored glasses. Because of this, they can be a great help for our children when we’re facing a divorce.
How Grandparents Help Children Cope with Divorce
First things first, we often think of our grandparents as being pretty wise. They’ve been around for a while, raised children, grandchildren, and been the backbone of the family. So, if you’re having trouble helping your kids, send them to the people who know your family— and family in general, best. They can often make sense of the situations we can’t yet.
They’re an outside source
They’re close to you, and to the situation, but they have an outside perspective on something that is highly personal. So, their objectivity can be quite useful for the children. They have someone to confide in, and to help guide them through what they’re feeling because they’re their grandparents…
It gives your children assurance
Your kids are likely starting to question everything. Did you two ever love each other? Are you going to stop loving me? Is a happy marriage possible? Does everyone eventually divorce?… the questions have great range. Not to mention, they can be quite difficult to answer as parents because as of right now… you don’t know the answer to most of them. You’re in the thick of it, you’re hurting, and you need a bit of time to process. Having a set of grandparents that can show your kids a unified front, assure them that love isn’t gone forever, and that life moves on— is pretty beneficial to helping your children cope and understand that marriage is different for everyone.
They’re a great escape for you, and your kids
We send the kids to grandma and grandpa’s house for plenty of reasons. Whether they want to go or you just need a night to yourselves— their house has always been an escape. So, this is a great time to use that. It allows you and your to-be ex some time to sort through the tough stuff on your own, and to allow your children to get their mind off of everything.
While grandparents can be there to help your children cope with what’s happening, they can also be there to help your kids forget for a little while… We wish you luck in conquering the tough stuff, and becoming a better person and parent for it.