One of the most difficult things to do when you’re going through divorce, is to continue disciplining your kids. You’re putting them through a tough time, and doing so can make it difficult for you to continue being the kind of parent you typically are. But, maintaining discipline is just as important as maintaining communication with your children during these tough times. While you might think that easing off is the best route to go, keeping as many things normal as possible— is actually your best bet.
Disciplining Through Divorce: Maintaining Boundaries in Tough Times
You might be wondering what the harm is in letting your foot off the gas as you navigate this familial changes. But actually, it can be quite damaging in the long run. Think about it, you’re getting ready to enter a new stage in parenting— and this is the beginning of it. During a divorce, kids often begin to test their boundaries. They are trying to navigate what’s changing, what this means for them, but also, what they can get away with now.
No matter the age range of your children, small rebellions will begin to ensue. This can be anything from throwing tantrums, refusing to eat, talk, or even sneaking out, and engaging in harmful behaviors. A divorce is a trying time for everyone involved. But this is why disciplining is so important for you.
You’re setting the groundwork for how you’ll parent from now on
Your kids are looking to you as a sign of what’s to come. This is why you want to start with the type of parenting you plan to continue on with. A divorce is not a break for your kids when it comes to parenting. And while you might be distracted, it’s important to maintain a structure you intend to keep.
While your kids might act out, and they should receive reprimand— allow them to express their feelings in a healthy way
It’s important that you remember this is difficult for them too. So, while certain behavior is not tolerable— this is a time when you should be able to speak freely as a family. Encourage them to open up, express their emotions— but do it in the right way. We wish you luck as you move forward with your separation.