Going through a divorce is one of the most stressful things that a person can go through. And figuring out how to let your loved ones know that it’s happening can be a huge source of confusion. In the new age of social media, it’s hard to know how to tell everybody. The best approach to take to announce your divorce is to first let your close family know. Next, tell your close friends. Then coworkers can follow, and finally the world at large (if you choose).
How-to: Announce Your Divorce: What’s the Best Protocol?
Family First
The first step is to announce your divorce to your family. A marriage involves blending two families together. Your families thought they would be connected forever, and your divorce will change that. Sit your parents or siblings down for a face to face talk. Explain the situation in however much detail you choose. If your divorce is friendly, you can do this together. If it is not a friendly divorce, at least make sure you and your ex are on the same page about when to tell your families. Try not to air any dirty laundry or trash talk. Your feelings will fluctuate a lot and when you speak angrily about your ex, it might be hard for family members to remember that when you’re feeling sadder about the breakup.
Friends
The next step you might take is to announce your divorce to your close friends. Make sure to speak to your attorney first before discussing any details with mutual friends. You don’t want the things you say to make their way back to your ex if you aren’t on friendly terms. If you and your ex have mutual friends, consider telling them together. It’s best to have a plan of what to say first. You can always keep it simple. For example, “We have decided after much discussion to get a divorce. We plan to work together to raise the kids and hope to support each other through this difficult time.” Discuss beforehand whether you want to announce your divorce before or after it is finalized.
Co-Workers
Unless you are close friends with co-workers, they really don’t need to hear about your divorce before it’s finalized. However, your boss might be a good person to inform. There’s a good chance that you’ll need to miss some work for court appointments. You might need to alert HR for this same reason. Hopefully, they will be understanding and sympathetic when you announce your divorce to them.
The World at Large
In the days of social media, you might want to announce your divorce on Facebook or Instagram. It’s probably best to do this after your divorce is final. It’s always best to speak with your divorce attorney before posting anything publicly. One way to announce without doing the social media post is to simply use the old fashioned post office. You can send a simple card with a photo of you and your children without including your ex. You can use this to announce your new address if you’ve moved. Including a short note or even just a phrase like “New Beginnings” can clue people into the divorce. Some couples choose to announce publicly and others choose to let the word spread naturally. Do whatever feels most comfortable to you.
However, you choose to announce your divorce, it’s best to discuss it with your ex first so you are both on the same page. Keep it short and to the point. Your family and close friends probably need to be told, but you can decide for yourself if you’d like to announce it to the whole world. Divorce is a very private thing, so don’t feel pressured to give anybody the details of your relationship, just decide what feels right for you