How-to: Have a Healthy Divorce

Want to learn more about how to have a healthy divorce? Check out this video to learn more!

When people think of divorce, they mainly think of negative things. Yelling, fighting, and crying, are some emotions that may come to mind. But do all divorces have to end this way? The answer is ‘No’. Believe it or not, not all divorces have to be bitter messes. Learn more about how to have a healthy divorce.

How-to Have a Healthy Divorce: Changing Your Mindset

Remove the Negative Emotions

You meet someone, you fall in love, and then you live happily every after, right? Reality check. Relationships are not always like they are in the movies. You will have ups and downs, and sometimes they come to an end. Instead of choosing to be angry about that, do your best to look at the situation for what it is. Be glad you met that person and you were able to have a shot at doing life together. However, something happened, and you no longer feel that spark and love anymore. The first step in having a healthy divorce is to reframe your mindset. Recognize what has transpired and choose to be rational. Sure, going through a separation is an emotional roller coaster, but do your best to put the emotions aside. It may be a good idea to find a neutral party who can help you make sensible decisions.

Sometimes you may be getting a divorce because your spouse did something terrible like cheat on you. You can either be angry and bitter forever, or you can look at the situation from a fresh perspective. This person you loved is no longer a person who has done right by you. They have hurt and betrayed you. In reality, it may be a good thing that you are splitting up from them. While this person may have been good for you at one period, they may not be good for you anymore. Because of that, it may be a positive thing for you to move on.

Children and Assets

Of course, if you have children with your ex, this is not as simple. Unlike couples without kids, you can’t just split up your physical assets and then be done. You have to work through many things when you have children, like custody and visitation schedules. Children add another element to a divorce. However, do your best to keep any conflict away from the kids. In fact, ongoing parental conflict can increase a child’s risk of psychological and social problems. Oftentimes, it is helpful for divorced parents to come up with a plan and present it to their kids together. Working together to keep your kids calm and as happy as possible can help lead to a healthy divorce. Make sure to communicate honestly with your kids about the changes going on, as kids benefit from open communication.