The emotions that can come with divorce aren’t always pretty. One of the more nastier ones is divorce-related anger. This anger can have a negative impact on both you and your divorce process. Therefore, it’s helpful to know how you can get this anger under control…
Directing the anger
People will direct their divorce-related anger in two ways: either at one’s ex, or at themselves. For the former, this usually occurs when the person blames their ex for the divorce. In their eyes, their ex is the one who seemingly gave up on them and their marriage. Even if they propose the divorce, they’ll blame their ex for leaving them no choice.
The later choice tends to occur when someone places all the divorce blame on themselves. They feel like they should’ve done more, or didn’t do something right, and now divorce is inevitable. Despite whatever their ex tells them, they will be angry at themselves for seemingly ruining everything.
This divorce-related anger can have a serious impact on one’s divorce. For instance, if you’re angry at your ex, you might be less willing to work with them. In fact, some people even try to get “revenge” through the divorce process. The most extreme cases see this happening even after the divorce is over with.
Or, you might be constantly hard on yourself. As you place all the blame on your shoulders, your mental well-being will suffer. Plus, you may not even contest whatever your ex wants from the divorce, because you feel like you “deserve” to be punished for failing.
Handling this anger
Divorce-related anger is quite common, and so there’s many ways you can work on getting a handle on it. For instance, you might want to look for healthy outlets for your anger. This could be exercise, writing, meditation, or whatever works for you.
You can also try and meet with a therapist. A therapist can help you figure out what the root cause of your anger is. That way, you can work together to improve your mental health, and better improve yourself for your post-divorce life.