Maintaining mutual friendships after divorce can be tricky to navigate, especially at first or while you’re in the process of ending your marriage. It’s normal for couples to face some awkwardness from their social circle after a breakup. However, if you and your ex want to maintain all of your friendships, it’s important to discuss this as a goal and how you both plan to make it happen. For example, talk to your friends up front about your intentions to remain in the social group. Avoid trash talking one another so that you don’t force any more hostility. And finally, don’t isolate yourself or wait for invitations. Instead, be proactive. Hopefully, you can use these tips to better navigate this difficult time in your life.
Maintaining Mutual Friendships After Divorce: Focusing on the Bigger Picture
Make an Agreement
If you and your ex have a large friend group, it can be painful to think about that group splitting up. Forcing your friends to take sides in your divorce will make everybody uncomfortable and is more likely to isolate you both from your social circle. Instead, discuss with one another how important it is to maintain your friendships, and work on avoiding things like trash talking or arguing in public.
Discuss Openly
Furthermore, maintaining mutual friendships after divorce is easier if you speak directly with your social group. Let friends know that you don’t plan on forcing them to choose sides, and that as much as possible, you both can get along in public enough to get invited to the same events.
Don’t Trash Talk
One important thing to remember with maintaining mutual friendships after divorce is that you’ll have to save your venting for somebody else. If you are determined not to force your friends to choose sides, you’ll have to cut back any trash talking. Otherwise, it’s likely that you will make your friend uncomfortable. Plus, your ex is likely to find out which can make things even more contentious.
Stay Social
While it might be difficult, it’s important to be proactive when maintaining mutual friendships after divorce. Your friends might not know exactly how to react. So instead of isolating yourself or waiting for them to invite you to events, be assertive. Invite everybody out for a meal, or ask if you can come along to any events so that they know you are comfortable being around your ex or at least being around people who are friendly with them. Isolating yourself can negatively impact your mental health and create resentment.
Maintaining mutual friendships after divorce can be easier said than done in some situations. However, if you and your ex are both committed to keeping your friend group intact, it’s definitely doable. But you’ll both have to discuss things ahead of time and work on getting comfortable with at least being at the same events together without causing drama.
Moreso, you might have to tell your friends up front about your intentions so that they don’t feel like they need to choose sides. Avoid trashing your ex because it can make your friends feel uncomfortable and can harm your relationship. And finally, avoid isolating yourself, and instead be proactive about being social. Hopefully, you and your ex will be able to navigate this tricky situation without too much difficulty and keep your social group intact.