Odds are that you’re probably going to be feeling a wide range of emotions after your divorce. However, one that you’d want to avoid is post-divorce bitterness. Those bitter feelings can seriously get in the way of your progress after your divorce. Therefore, it’s important to know how you can push past these negative feelings…
Post-Divorce Bitterness
The problem with bitterness
Post-divorce bitterness is a nasty feeling to have. Bitterness can make even the most optimistic person become angery and upset at their life. Plus, it can have a negative effect on those around you. In general, being bitter makes it’s very hard for you to begin moving on after your divorce.
Bitterness comes from being angry and frustrated over how you’ve been treated by your ex. Still, keep in mind that it’s all in the past. While you can’t change the past, you can work on making a better future for yourself. However, if you’re still feeling bitter, you won’t be able to start planning out that future.
Identify the sources
Tackling that post-divorce bitterness can seem difficult at first. After all, being bitter can be a general feeling, and it can be hard to figure out where it’s directly coming from. That’s why it helps to really focus in on where the bitterness is coming from. A good way to do this is to write them down.
Luckily, you don’t have to write anything complex. Just one or two quick sentences about what is making you feel bitter. For example, maybe you feel some resentment over something about your settlement. Or, maybe it’s because your ex is in a new relationship. Whatever it might be, it’s important to get it written down.
Change your thinking
Once you identified where the post-divorce bitterness is coming from, then you can start to work on getting rid of it. This comes down to changing how you think about the causes you’ve identified. While you might see these as negatives before, odds are you can easily see where they may be positives.
For example, say your ex is in a new relationship. Maybe this makes you feel resentment over how they’ve seemingly moved on. However, consider that while you’re going to work on self-improvement, your ex is still the same. That means someone else will get to deal with them while you get to improve yourself and potentially find someone you deserve.