The Dangers of Trash-Talking After Divorce

Trash-talking after divorce is never a good idea, no matter how contentious your break-up is. Although it can feel like a good release of pent-up emotions in the short term, it can harm your divorce settlement. Your friends and family might be the best options to vent to, but your emotions can fluctuate a lot. And they often don’t forget the things you’ve said. It can also hurt your divorce settlement if your ex finds out about the trash-talking. It’s very painful for children to hear one parent bashing another. And it can affect your custody arrangement as well. All in all, there is no benefit to trash-talking your ex. You might have hurt feelings or anger towards them, but it’s best to confront these emotions with a therapist or close friend, not the world-at-large.

The Dangers of Trash-Talking After Divorce: It’s Never a Good Idea

Your Friends Won’t Forget

One reason why trash-talking after divorce is dangerous is that your emotions can fluctuate a lot. Divorce is incredibly stressful. There might be times when you’re feeling very angry at your ex. And others when you’re missing the good times. If you constantly trash-talk your ex with your friends and family, they’re unlikely to be sympathetic when you’re feeling nostalgic about your relationship. They’ll only remember the negative things you’ve said in the past.

It Can Hurt Your Settlement

Another reason why trash-talking after divorce is not a good idea is that it can harm your settlement. If your ex finds out that you are bad-mouthing them, it can make the divorce even more contentious. They might get even more aggressive, and you’ll end up in a worse situation with your settlement. The more you can both get along, the better. Be especially careful about posts on social media, as those are easy to track down and you never know who might see them and send them to your ex.

It’s Painful for Children

Another negative effect of trash-talking after divorce is that it can be very painful for your children. They don’t need to hear all the details of your breakup. Your ex might not be the best partner in a marriage, but it doesn’t mean that they aren’t a loving parent. Speaking ill about the in front of children makes kids feel ashamed and guilty for loving their parent. It can hurt their self-esteem and cause resentment later. It’s best to keep things as civil as possible with your ex for the sake of your children.

It Can Affect Custody

One thing that people often don’t realize is a negative effect of trash-talking after divorce is a possible impact on your custody arrangement. Part of what a judge looks at when determining custody is seeing if you and your partner can be successful co-parents. If you are trash-talking your ex, it doesn’t show the judge that you are interested in keeping a civil relationship. A judge needs to know that you and your ex can put your differences aside to parent your children as well as possible.

Trash-talking after divorce can lead to a lot of serious consequences. Not to mention a lot of hurt feelings. While it might feel good to let off steam, if you blast your ex to your entire family or social media, it can come back to haunt you. Your friends and family are less likely to feel sympathetic when you need some support when you miss your ex. You also might antagonize your ex and make your settlement even more contentious. Your children can end up very hurt as well if you are trash-talking their other parent. And it can prove to a judge that you aren’t a good candidate for co-parenting as well. All in all, trash-talking is just never a good idea. If you feel like you need to speak to somebody about your divorce and your feelings, find a qualified divorce therapist.

How-to Improve Your Post-Divorce Sleep

After your divorce, you may notice than many aspects of your health take a hit. Post-divorce sleep is one of the areas which a lot of people struggle with. Therefore, it’s helpful to know how you can get the rest your body needs…

How-to Improve Your Post-Divorce Sleep: What to Try

Have a consistent schedule

Most people know that it’s good to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night. However, that’s only one part of getting good post-divorce sleep. It’s important to also get this sleep on a consistent schedule. When you have a consistent schedule, your body will more easily fall asleep and wake up on time.

If you don’t have a schedule, you’ll find it’s much harder to sleep. Falling asleep too early could cause you to wake up too early. At the same time, falling asleep later can make you wake up later. Trying to jump around in your schedule will just lead to an erratic sleep pattern.

Limit light exposure

Limiting your light exposure is also important for improving your post-divorce sleep. Ideally, you’ll want to sleep in a room with little to no light. This will help your body shift into its “sleep mode” faster. It’ll also allow for you to sleep without worrying about light flashes waking you up.

Don’t forget that this doesn’t just apply to things like the sun or your room’s lights. Your TV, computer, and smartphone are also included in this. Too much exposure to the blue light from our phones in particular can prevent us from falling asleep when we should.

Watch your diet

Some changes to your diet can help improve your post-divorce sleep. For example, you won’t want to consume any nicotine or caffeine before you go to sleep. These stimulants will work to keep you up instead, making it much harder to both fall and stay asleep.

You should also avoid drinking too much water and any alcohol. Having too much water can cause you to get up for frequent bathroom breaks. Alcohol can seemingly be something which makes people tired. In reality, it tends to disrupt our sleeping patterns and make people wake up throughout the night.

How-to Find a Post-Divorce Apartment

Following your divorce, you may need to start getting ready to move. Finding a new home can be both difficult and expensive. As a result, many people opt for a post-divorce apartment instead. If you’re in the market for an apartment, there’s a few things to consider while you’re searching…

How-to Find a Post-Divorce Apartment: Key Factors

Budget accordingly

One of the most important things to remember when looking for a post-divorce apartment is your budget. Your divorce may have left a bit of an impact on your finances. You may also need to completely redo your past budget. Therefore, you need to make sure your new apartment won’t break the bank.

Remember that there’s more to your apartment’s expenses than just rent. You’ll also have to consider costs like groceries and utilities as well. When you’re looking at an apartment, be sure to ask what is or isn’t included, and what other extra costs they may have.

Proximity to others

You should also consider how close your apartment is to others important to you. After your divorce, your friends and family are going to still be an important source of divorce. That’s why it may be good to find a place close-by to them. This makes it easy for them to come over and for you to spend time with them.

If you’re a parent, then you’ll especially want to give some consideration to your kids. It may be important to find a place which isn’t too far from your other co-parent to make things easier. You may also want to think about if your apartment will have enough space for your kids should they stay over there.

Future goals

Something you don’t want to forget to consider when looking for a post-divorce apartment is what your future plans are. For instance, consider what kind of job you want to work down the line. Will your apartment be close by to those opportunities? If not, then you may want to view this as just a temporary steppingstone.

Of course, you should also think about if you want to buy a new home. Some people like to stay in their apartment for a few years before settling down in a house again. Still, if you want to move into a new home sooner than that, you probably won’t want a super-long lease.

Post-Divorce Revenge Body: Is it Healthy?

The post-divorce revenge body has come into popular media thanks to some celebrity breakups. A “revenge body” occurs when somebody who has recently gone through a breakup decides to get in top shape. The goal is to make your ex sorry that they ever let you go. But is it healthy? And if you’re set on getting one, how do you go about it? The key lies in deciding the motivation and approaching it healthily. You’ll need to focus on exercise and eating right to get in your healthier shape. And finally, sleep is a huge component of making your body as healthy as possible. Whether you decide to get a “revenge body” or not, getting your body in healthier shape is almost always a good thing.

Post-Divorce Revenge Body: Is it Healthy? How to Get One?

Is it a Good Idea

A post-divorce revenge body might sound like a promising idea. The notion of your ex slobbering over you after seeing how in shape you are might have you more determined than ever to work out. However, if the whole idea of getting in shape revolves around sending a signal to your ex, it’s a clear sign that you might not have moved on from the relationship. If your entire goal is to ultimately hurt your ex, then maybe you should try to re-think your motivation. If you are just wanting a fresh start and a new outlook on life after a breakup, then getting in your best health is a great idea! It can really boost confidence and help you get back out there in the dating world.

Exercise

Whether or not you decide on a revenge body, if you’re trying to get in better shape, exercise is a great place to start. However, exercising without knowing how can lead to serious injury. If it’s been a while since you’ve worked out, speak to a doctor to make sure that they clear you for it. After that, head to a gym, watch an online tutorial or hire a personal trainer to teach you how to exercise. They should show you proper form and give you examples of what exercises to do. It’s healthiest to do a combination of cardio and strength-building workouts.

Eating Healthy

Another major component of getting into your healthiest body or revenge body is eating well. You can exercise for hours every day, but without a clean diet, you won’t get very far. It’s important to get variety in your diet and to eat in moderation. A good rule of thumb is to follow the healthy plate rule. Fill up half your plate with fruits and veggies, 30% with protein, and 20% with grains. Try to aim for fresh fruit and veggies and lean proteins like chicken or fish. For grains, try to incorporate whole grains like wheat bread and brown rice.

Getting Enough Sleep

One final component to getting your healthiest body, or your revenge body, is to get enough sleep. Sleep helps your entire body to function more efficiently. Studies show that getting poor sleep leads to more weight gain and poorer decisions. In contrast, getting plenty of sleep can help you stay concentrated on your goals of getting healthy. Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep a night.

A revenge body may not be the healthiest way to approach getting in shape. However, if you’ve gone through a breakup, getting into your healthiest body might be just the ticket to gaining confidence. You’ll feel a sense of confidence just from setting goals and reaching them, not to mention the physical benefits of getting plenty of exercises, sleep, and eating well. Try to keep the focus on becoming the best version of yourself for yourself, and not for anybody else. You’re investing in your own future and well-being and your body will thank you for it later!

Dating After a Divorce: Am I Ready?

How do you know when you’re ready for dating after a divorce? It can be hard to even imagine yourself getting back into the dating game. But if you’ve healed from the pain of your break-up and have taken time to soul-search, you might be ready. Take things at your own pace and don’t let anybody pressure you. Make sure that your divorce is completely final before beginning to date, and take time to heal from the stress of that. Date yourself first and give yourself some time to figure out who you are post-divorce. And make sure that when the time comes, you take things at your own pace. Hopefully, you’ll find the confidence to get back into the dating game and find a partner that is perfect for you.

Dating After a Divorce: Am I Ready to Get Back Into This?

Make Sure Divorce is Final

The first advice for dating after a divorce is to wait until the divorce is finalized. The divorce process can take many months and sometimes even longer. But it’s really a good idea to wait until it’s completely done before getting back into the dating pool. Potential dates might feel uncomfortable dating somebody who is still technically in a marriage. And your dating life could end up having an effect on your divorce settlement. It’s safest just to hold off until things are all settled.

Take Time to Heal

Take plenty of time to heal before dating after a divorce. Divorce is incredibly stressful. In fact, many people compare it to the stress of losing a loved one. Divorce can create a lot of hurts and a lot of emotional scars that can take time to heal. Make sure that you’ve taken some time to heal from the stress of the whole process.

Date Yourself First

Another thing to do before dating after a divorce is to date yourself! Take some time to give yourself a break and a little self-love. Find a hobby or activity that makes you feel good about yourself. Go on a mini-vacation or take some me-time to relax. Your marriage was a huge part of who you were for years, so you might find that you’re a different person after the marriage is over. Take some time to figure out who you are post-divorce. Learn to love your new identity.

Go Your Own Pace

Finally, when getting back into dating after a divorce, go at your own pace. Don’t let anybody pressure you into dating before you feel like you’re ready. Everybody heals at their own pace. Take as much time as you need to get yourself mentally prepared for dating and opening yourself up to another person again. If you do start dating, take the relationship slowly. There’s no need to rush, and going slow can help you really get to know the other person and figure out if they’re a good match.

Dating after a divorce can feel overwhelming at times. Give yourself plenty of time and space to get ready to take the plunge into the dating pool. Make sure that your divorce is final before getting involved with a new partner. Take plenty of time to emotionally heal from your divorce, and to get to know who you are post-divorce. And remember to take things at your own pace. You can take as long as you need to. It’s best to take things slow so that you can really invest your time in a person who is a great match for you. Hopefully, you’ll find somebody that you can build a future.

The Do’s and Don’t of Visitation After Divorce

The transition from living in one house to two houses after a divorce can be very difficult for children. There are plenty of do’s and don’t of visitation after divorce to make this transition easier for your kids. You should try to be flexible on time and schedule with your ex-spouse. In addition, always be respectful when interacting with one another in front of your kids. Don’t try to win your children’s love by spoiling them. And don’t use your time with the children to bad mouth your ex. Your children need you to remain supportive and respectful to make this difficult period in their lives a little less stressful.

The Do’s and Don’t of Visitation After Divorce: Make the Transition Easier

Do: Be Flexible on Time

One important rule of visitation after divorce that can help smooth things out is to always remain flexible. If you and your ex are trading children back and forth between your houses, there will be times when you get off schedule. It’s inevitable that something will delay you at some point or another. If you set the precedence of being understanding with one another from the get-go, it can make any situation that comes up less combative.

Do: Be Respectful

When you and your spouse are interacting during visitation after divorce, always be respectful of one another. Whether or not you believe they or you are in the wrong, it’s important to put on a good face for your children. They will be watching how you interact with each other. Showing them that you can still be kind and respectful will teach them a valuable life lesson. In addition, parents yelling in front of children can induce anxiety. And surely the last thing you’d want for your children is to be scared when they are already having to adjust to so many changes.

Don’t: Spoil the Children

Visitation after divorce is a time to re-connect with your children. It should strengthen your relationship with them. Don’t try to buy their love by giving them tons of gifts. You’ll just wind up spoiling them. In the end, if you can use your time to connect with them and build trust, they’ll be closer to you in the long run. Children should look forward to spending time with you and not just getting presents.

Don’t: Bad Mouth Your Ex

One important rule for visitation after divorce is to remember never to bad mouth your ex. You and your partner might have a very contentious divorce. But your partner is still a parent to your kids. You don’t need to rope your children into the details of what went wrong in your relationship. In addition, don’t make your children feel guilty for spending time with their other parents. You should never try to disrupt the relationship between your ex and your children. Just like you wouldn’t want them disrupting yours.

Visitation after divorce can be complicated. It’s a large adjustment for children who are used to spending time with you both in one house. However, you can ease the transition by remembering to be respectful of your ex and never bad-mouthing them to your children. In addition, try to remain flexible about timing. And remember to make the most of your time together instead of just trying to buy their love with presents. They are going through a stressful time in their lives. They need to support and dedication of both parents working together. If you and your ex can put aside your differences and focus on what’s best for your children, you’ll be able to make visitation a very positive experience for them.

Survival Guide for Dating After Divorce

Dating after divorce can seem very scary and overwhelming. Whether you’ve been married a long time or are a newlywed you are still adjusting to an entirely different future than what you expected. Make sure that you are ready to start dating again, there’s no need to rush. Don’t complain about your ex on dates as that can be a bit of a buzzkill. Take it slow when you find somebody that you like. And finally, have fun and relax! Dating should be fun and enjoyable. Don’t stress too much about finding a new partner, just enjoy the experience.

Survival Guide for Dating After Divorce: Getting Back in the Game

Make Sure You’re Ready

Before you start dating after divorce, make sure that you’re completely ready to get back in the game. You need to take time to adjust to all the changes in your life. In addition, going through a divorce is incredibly stressful, so make sure that you’ve recovered from the emotional upheaval of it all. Before you even think about going on a date, make sure that you take time for some self-love first. Put yourself as a priority and you’ll be more confident and open to a new potential partner.

Don’t Complain About Your Ex

Dating after divorce has one hard and fast rule: don’t talk about the ex. At least not at first. It’s best to take time to figure out what went wrong in your relationship. Both on your ex’s end and things that you might have done. Reflect on what you want in a new partner and try not to make comparisons. When you start dating somebody and they ask about your divorce, try to discuss it in a rational way. Bad-mouthing your ex-spouse can make you sound petty, so showing that you’ve maturely handled the divorce is best.

Take it Slow

Next, when dating after divorce, take it slow. There’s no need to rush into your next serious relationship. Taking it slow will give you time to really examine the relationship as it grows. In this way, you can hopefully spot any red flags. You’ll have a chance to address them or end the relationship before things are too serious. If you have children, it’s especially important to take your time. Make sure that you only introduce them to people that you see a future with. Otherwise, you run the risk of them getting attached to your new date and then being hurt if things don’t work out.

Have Fun

Finally, and maybe most importantly, have fun when dating after divorce! You probably never expected to be back in the dating game. But now that you’re here, make the most of it. Enjoy the fun of getting to know new people. Figure out what you want out of a new partner and see if you can find a great match. While it can be scary, dating should still be enjoyable. Try to relax and not worry about where things are going. Take time to just enjoy the thrill of a new date.

Dating after divorce can seem so overwhelming. But it’s important to try and not rush into things or take them too seriously. You have plenty of time to find a new partner. Make sure that you’ve healed from your divorce before you even start thinking about dating again. And make sure that you’ve taken time to prioritize yourself for a little while. Try not to bad mouth your ex to your new dates as this can be a red flag. Take things slow with any new partners, especially if you have children. And finally, have fun and enjoy the experience. You have another chance to go on first dates and meet some amazing new people, try to find the silver lining, and enjoy it.

How-to: Know if You’re Ready to Date Again

Putting yourself out there to date again after a divorce can bring up many different emotions. You may feel overwhelmed and unsure where to start, nervous and skeptical, or even excited about the chance to start over. Some people may even get cold feet and decide they are not actually ready to look for a new partner again. If you are in this season of life, there is a lot to consider. Here are some things to think about to know if you’re ready to date again.

How-to Know if You’re Ready to Date Again: Dating After Divorce

Time

Has your divorce not even been finalized yet? Or did it just become official a week ago? If so, you should probably wait a little bit to get back until another relationship. You do not want to jump back into a new relationship just as a rebound. You just went through a major life change, filled with many charged emotions.

Even if you feel like you are ready to go, processing these types of things take time. While you may have been the one who instigated the divorce, you will still have to mourn the loss of that relationship and heal hurt wounds. Give yourself some time to go through this process, and focus on yourself before you’re ready to date again. Depending on how long you were married, you may not even have a clear picture of who you are as an individual at this time. Take some time to rediscover yourself.

Right Reasons

Be very thoughtful about the reasons why you think you’re ready to date again. Some people feel like they have to be in a relationship to be happy. Do not jump into something just because you do not want to be alone. Also, don’t start dating someone just because everyone else in your circle has a partner. Also, do not start dating someone just to please other people like your family. Take the time to truly make sure you have healed from your divorce and are ready to be open and vulnerable again.

Self-Reflection and Improvement

In the meantime, take this opportunity to reflect on your failed marriage and work towards becoming the best version of yourself that you can be. In an unhealthy marriage, there were likely negative traits and behaviors coming from both parties. Take time to figure out your weak points, and talk to a counselor or find ways to work through these issues. You do not want to bring bad habits into a new relationship.

How-to: Take On Being a Single Dad

Being a single parent can be tough. Everyone always focuses on single moms, but what about single dads? Whether you are a single dad due to divorce, a failed relationship, or the death of a spouse, this role will be tough, but rewarding. It will take some time to get into the swing of things, and there will be both good and bad times that come with it. However, no matter what your background or experience is, here are some tips on how to take on being a single dad.

How-to: Take On Being a Single Dad- Parenting Journey

Routines

One of the most difficult parts of adjusting to not having another parent at home with you is getting routines in place. This is something you be faced with on day 1 of being a single dad. There will likely be more to do and not as much help. You will have to juggle grocery shopping, meal planning, and prep. There will be cleaning and chores, plus keeping track of school, homework, and functions. Understand that you are human, and just one person, and that there is only so much you can do. Try your best, and know that you are doing the best you can. If you mess up, it is okay. Just brush it off and learn from it.

Raising a Daughter

It may feel daunting to raise a daughter while being a single dad. There will be so many things you feel you will not be able to relate to or handle without having a mother-figure present too. Just take it now step at a time, and focus on her basic needs. While girls are different, they need many of the same basic things that boys do. For example, food, shelter, clothes, and love. For the other things, try and find one or several strong, female role model figures to be present in your daughter’s life.

Dealing with Loss

When you become a single dad, it will be due to some sort of loss. This could be a loss of a relationship, the end of a marriage, or even the death of a spouse. Whatever this may be, you will go through a period of grieving. At the same time, your children will also have experienced the loss of their two parents being together or even a parent passing away. You will have to work through your own grief at the same time as helping your kids through the process.

How-to Regain Self-Confidence After a Divorce

Divorce can be painful in many ways. It can hurt your pride, heart, mind, and even self-confidence. It can change the way you view yourself, and make you feel like you have lost your identity. Having a change in marital status does not define you. Do not ever think that a divorce impacts your value or your self-worth. Here are some steps to take to regain your self-confidence after a divorce.

How-to Regain Self-Confidence After a Divorce: Redefining Yourself

Change Your Mindset

One of the first steps to regaining your self-confidence after a divorce is to change your mindset. No matter how you may feel, remind yourself that you are not a failure due to your divorce. Also, your marriage was not a failure. Many people go through this same thing, so it is important to know that not all marriages last. Change your mindset to look as this journey as one of courage. It takes a lot of courage to step out of something that was not working, especially something that was familiar and comfortable. You are now entering into this new phase of life with the gift and benefit of experience.

Your Children

It is important to remember that your children are not automatically irreparably damaged just because you got divorced. Actually, living in an environment full of fighting and anger can be harmful to children. Therefore, it may actually be better for your children’s wellbeing that you left the bad relationship and removed them from the negative environment. What will leave a lasting impression on your kids is how you handle the divorce process. Do your best to walk through it with dignity and respect, never slandering your ex in front of your kids. Understanding that your choice to leave a relationship does not automatically make you a bad parent or ruin your children is an important part of regaining your self-confidence after a divorce.

Be Active

Exercise is linked to endorphins, which can make you feel happier. Plus, it will make you healthier, both mentally and physically. Find an activity that you enjoy, whether it is walking, running, cycling, doing yoga, or any other option. If you are new to this activity, this might help you find a new community to become a part of. In the same way, if you have already participated in the activity before, it can help you reconnect or be surrounded with a community of people you have something in common with.

An added bonus to exercise is that you will look and feel better. When you move, you will mentally start to feel better. On top of that, you will start seeing positive changes to your overall health and body. When you start to notice positive changes in how you look and feel, you will start to regain your self-confidence after a divorce.