If you’re considering divorce, you’re likely worried about what that means for your kids. We, as parents, are constantly trying to figure out how to do the best by our children. We want to nurture them, and ultimately, turn them into upstanding members of society.
You might think that ‘sticking it out’, and staying married for the kids is the way to go to keep their environment stable. But, what you might not realize is that divorce can be healthy for your kids. This idea might seem counterintuitive, but we’re going to explain to you exactly why it’s not.
Considering divorce? Don’t stick it out for the kids: Why divorce can be a good thing
You want your children to witness healthy relationships
If you and your spouse want to divorce each other; you are not portraying healthy relationships to your child. We all want better for our kids, and a large part of that is creating quality, healthy relationships. You have to be a model for that. While divorce might seem like a terrible thing to put your kid through, it’s even worse for them to witness you fighting all the time, avoiding each other, and putting each other down. There are worse things in life than divorce, which brings me to the second point.
They will learn how to cope with turmoil
Life throws a ton of different obstacles your way. If you can’t cope? You’ll lose it. Children of divorce often have more adept coping skills because they’ve had to do it before. A child of divorce has to be able to say how they feel, what they want, and be assertive. These are great skills for any adult to have, and many people don’t possess them. They’ll build better communication skills, especially if you and your ex can communicate in a healthy way. You’re teaching your child problem solving, effective communication, and how to be a better person in hard times.
Your children will be more relaxed
Kids are extremely intuitive. They can feel the tension in a room, and they can sense it between you two. Staying together when you’re considering divorce often creates a lot of stress for everyone involved. By going ahead with it and doing what you both want, and need, to do for your own sanity— can actually relax your children. No one wants to be president during someone else’s argument. Imagine seeing and hearing it all the time… sounds tough, right?
Your teaching your children to put yourself first sometimes
Being a parent is a selfless job. Everything you do is to create a better life for your little ones, but a divorce has to come for reasons that are selfish— but not in a bad way. Choosing to have a divorce is a decision you both have to make for yourselves, and for personal reasons.
Every person needs to have a fulfilling and healthful life. Sometimes, a divorce has to be part of that process. By going through with something that will ultimately create a better life for everyone, you are teaching your children that it’s okay to put yourself first from time to time.