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Author: Robert Reeves

Covid-Related Divorce

Now that the Covid-19 epidemic is passing, we are still understanding the deep effects it had on society, like the Covid-related divorce rate. The pandemic was incredibly stressful on relationships of all kinds, but especially marriages. The uncertainty of the sickness mixed with quarantine protocols created a lot of anxiety for households around the world. If you are still feeling the effects of the pandemic, it’s time to begin moving on with your marriage. Build back and re-strengthen it so that if there is another life-changing event, you’ll be even more prepared in the future.

Covid-Related Divorce: Why the Pandemic Was Hard on Marriages

Why Covid Was Tough on Marriage

There are several reasons why there was an uptick in Covid-related divorce during the pandemic. First of all, many couples faced a lot of fear and uncertainty about their health. The political strife that accompanied the epidemic was also a source of controversy for many families.

Effects of Quarantine

Quarantine also had a large effect on Covid-related divorce rates. Many states went into lockdown, meaning that couples were no longer able to be around friends or family. And for many parents, this meant homeschooling and a lack of daycare. Being stuck together around the clock can put a lot of pressure on a relationship. And many couples faced stress because of their home-work-childcare balance is completely out of sync.

Getting Back on Track

If your marriage took a hit during the pandemic, you aren’t alone. Covid-related divorces are quite common, and even couples that made it through the pandemic together probably faced some stress. Now is the time to work on building back that relationship. Seek out counseling for any unresolved conflict, and try to take some quality time for yourselves.

Strengthening Your Marriage

While none of us want to think about the possibility of another pandemic hitting, chances are, this won’t be the last epidemic. Make sure that your marriage can withstand another stressful event by putting in the work now. The more you lay a strong foundation for your relationship, the better off you will be when tough times hit. For example, work on communication and conflict resolution. Tackle things like sharing the mental load of parenting. And find time to connect to one another without distractions.

While we are still reeling from the after-effects of the pandemic, we know that Covid-related divorce is an unfortunate reality for many couples. The pandemic was tough on everybody as we watched the entire world we know to shut down and change. And quarantine protocols put even more pressure on family units. Many couples saw an increase in conflict and stress in their marriage. Especially parents who were facing things like school shut-downs, daycare closings, and home-schooling. If your marriage is still feeling the after-effects of Covid, now is the time to try to rebuild your relationship. Hopefully, that way, you’ll be even more prepared in the future to face obstacles together as a team.

Deciding On a Legal Guardian

If you have young children, deciding on a legal guardian should be an integral part of your estate-planning process. If either you or their other parent passes away, the other parent would still raise your kids. But what happens if both parents are in an accident? While nobody likes to think about the possibility, it is important to assign a legal guardian to your will. This is the person you task with raising your children if you and your spouse die unexpectedly or are otherwise incapacitated. It’s a big decision and one that you need to carefully consider. You might debate between your parents, your siblings, or even friends. However, there are important factors to think about no matter who you pick. While it’s unpleasant to think about, knowing that you have a legal guardian appointed in your will might give you peace of mind.

Deciding On a Legal Guardian: Different Options

Grandparents

When deciding on a legal guardian, many people go straight to their parents as a choice. However, there are some things to consider. For example, they’ll need to be physically fit and healthy enough to handle young children. Think about them. age and whether or not you feel confident that they will remain in good health while raising their grandchildren.

Aunts and Uncles

Another popular option when deciding on a legal guardian is your siblings. One positive of this is that your children will still be able to maintain close relationships with their families. For example, grandparents and extended family. Additionally, your siblings might have similar core values to you and your spouse. Hopefully, this means that they’ll respect your wishes for how you’d like your children brought up.

Friends

If you don’t have siblings or don’t have siblings that you feel would be a good fit, you can assign friends as legal guardians of your children. Like siblings, it’s important to take into account their values and whether or not they’ll raise your children in a way that you approve of. Additionally, raising kids is expensive, so you’ll want to make sure that it is financially feasible to ask them to take on this responsibility.

Things to Keep in Mind

When deciding on a legal guardian for your kids, there are many things to consider. You’ll want to make sure that whomever you pick has the emotional and financial capacity to take this on. You might also want to consider their support system. They’ll need all the help they can get adjusting to life as new parents while dealing with the grief of losing you. This decision is yours alone, so don’t let others pressure you. The decision has to be right for you and your spouse.

Deciding on a legal guardian for your kids can be a difficult task. There are a lot of things to think about when making such a huge decision. You’ll want to choose somebody that you feel comfortable with, and somebody you trust to raise your kids. But they also must have the financial means and emotional capacity to take this on. When thinking about who to pick, you might consider your parents, your siblings, or friends. The fit has to feel right for you and your spouse. Additionally, it’s a good idea to speak with whoever you choose and make sure that they are comfortable having this potential responsibility. While you hope that you never actually have to give another person the task of raising your children, it can give you peace of mind knowing they’ll be in good hands if the unexpected should happen.

Introducing A New Partner to Children: Divorce

Introducing a new partner to children after divorce can be tricky sometimes. Children often have a lot of conflicting emotions about divorce. If you and your ex are sharing custody, your kids are likely going back and forth between your houses and care about both of you. Getting used to the idea that you are with a new person can take some time. Make sure that you aren’t jumping the gun, and that your relationship is very solid before adding kids to the equation. Additionally, make sure that your children are healing from the divorce and are ready to meet somebody new. It’s a good idea to be respectful to your ex and let them know ahead of time. And finally, start slow and be patient. Hopefully, your children will adjust and accept a new partner, but it can be a slow process.

Introducing a New Partner to Children: Divorce and Making the Transition

Wait Until the Relationship is Solid

It’s very important to make sure that your relationship is rock solid before introducing a new partner to children after divorce. Don’t take this issue lightly because it can be quite an emotional upheaval for children. Make sure that you see a future with any new partners before bringing your children into the mix. And make sure that that partner understands that your children will be a big part of your futures together. Younger children especially can easily get attached to new people, so you don’t want them to suffer if you end up breaking up later.

Wait Until Your Children are Ready

Introducing a new partner to children after divorce also means waiting for them to be ready. Divorce is hard on children, and they probably have a lot of confusing feelings about you and your ex. It can be hard for kids to accept that you and your ex won’t be getting back together at some point in the future. Introducing them to a new partner might bring up some big emotions for them. Make sure that they are getting the proper support and are healing from the divorce before trying to throw a new partner into the equation.

Talk to Your Ex

It’s also a good idea to speak with your ex before introducing a new partner to children after divorce. Whether or not you are on good terms, it’s the respectful thing to do. You would probably want to know if your ex was bringing their own girlfriend or boyfriend around your kids too. You and your ex both owe each other transparency when it comes to who your kids interact with.

Start Slow

Finally, when introducing a new partner to children after divorce, take things slow. Start by having them meet in a neutral, non-threatening location. For example, maybe a playground meetup or an ice-cream date. Use age-appropriate language when explaining who your new partner is, but don’t lie. Let them know ahead of time that they’ll be meeting somebody new, and be careful not to show too much affection in front of them. Keep things light and short at first, and check in frequently about how your children are feeling about things.

Introducing a new partner to children after divorce is a big step towards starting a new future. However, it can sometimes be a bumpy road. While you might be healing and ready to move on from your divorce, your children might not be quite as ready. Give them space to experience their emotions, and be receptive if they have concerns. Wait until they are over the initial transition period after divorce and are adjusting to their new normal. Also make sure that you feel confident there’s a future with your partner before disrupting things with your kids. Be respectful and let your ex know ahead of time, and take things slow with your children. They might be receptive to meeting somebody new, or you might need to back off and wait a little longer. Hopefully, you can all get to a place

Pet Parenting Plan After Divorce

If you are going through the divorce process and are anxious about what will happen to your animals, a pet parenting plan might be the perfect solution to reduce your stress. Although our pets feel like important members of the family, in the eyes of the law, they’re considered property. Like other assets, pets are divided equally between spouses. However, that doesn’t mean that you and your ex cannot come up with your own private custody agreement for your dog or cat. Consistency is the most important thing to remember for your animals. You might also consider a joint account where you and your ex can contribute money for your pets. And finally, make sure that the situation is right for your pet. Hopefully, you and your ex can come up with a custody plan that will allow you both to continue your loving relationship with your pets.

Pet Parenting Plan After Divorce: Doing the Best for Your Best Buddy

What is a Pet Custody Agreement?

A pet custody agreement or pet parenting plan is an agreed-upon contract between exes stating exactly how you’ll be sharing custody of your pets after divorce. Your animals will be considered property during your settlement, so one of you will take sole ownership. However, agreeing to a plan allows you both to share custody of your animal. You can stipulate how often your animal travels back and forth between your houses. And how you’ll pay for food and medical care.

Consistency is Key

If you are working out a pet parenting plan with your ex to share custody, it’s important to remember that animals thrive on consistency. Make sure that you and your ex are both buying the same brands of food and treats for your pets. And keeping relatively similar schedules. You’ll want to at least keep feeding and sleeping schedules the same across your houses. That way, your pet won’t become anxious or suffer from digestive problems.

Consider a Joint Account

It can be helpful to keep one of your joint bank accounts open with your ex if you are creating a pet parenting plan. That way, you can each have a place to contribute to your pet’s expenses. Pet medical care can get incredibly expensive, so it’s a good idea to build up a bit of savings in the account in case anything should happen.

What Works for Your Pet

Finally, when creating a pet parenting plan, it’s important to make sure that it works for your pet. Animals are sensitive creatures. While some dogs and cats do well shuffling back and forth between houses, it can create anxiety for others. If you find that your animal doesn’t seem to be thriving as much, consider changing the schedule.

A pet parenting plan is a great way to stipulate exactly how you and your ex will handle custody of any animals after divorce. Since only one of you will actually own the pet, an agreement like this can ensure that both of you are able to maintain your relationship with your dog. To some it might seem silly to go through all of the hassle of a custody agreement for a pet. However, many dog and cat owners understand that their pets become important members of the family. When working out your plan, make sure that you’re keeping your pet’s diet and schedule consistent across your houses. You might also consider opening a joint account for pet expenses. And finally, make sure that your pet is handling this transition well. Hopefully, you all can find an arrangement that works for you and for your animals.

Navigating a High-Conflict Divorce

A high-conflict divorce can be incredibly taxing and stressful for everybody involved. Divorce is often contentious, but some are more explosive than others. If you are going through a very stressful divorce, it can be helpful to seek the advice of professionals. Having an experienced team around you to help you navigate the emotional and legal aspects of the situation can help you feel more in control. It can also help to practice calming techniques to reduce your anxiety. Finally, there are some tactics you can use when interacting with your ex that might be able to help keep things a little calmer. Hopefully, you’ll be able to finalize your divorce quickly and begin the process of healing and moving on.

Navigating a High-Conflict Divorce: Reducing Stress and Calming the Waters

Contributing Factors

Many things can contribute to high-conflict divorce. Sometimes, spouses let spite and resentment control the situation, rather than reason. If you or your ex are making decisions just to hurt the other, things will likely escalate. Child custody issues can also increase the tension in any divorce proceeding, especially if you feel that your ex is not a suitable caregiver. And of course, emotions can also run high if there is infidelity.

Seeking Professional Help

If you are going through a high-conflict divorce, surrounding yourself with experienced professionals can help you feel like you’re more in control. For instance, a mediator can help you settle issues outside of court. An attorney can help you fight for what you deserve with your settlement. And therapy can help you manage your stress levels and begin the healing process.

Calming Techniques

Calming techniques can help you settle down if you are going through a high-conflict divorce. Practice breathing exercises like deep breathing, mentally counting, or a 4-7-8 breath. Meditation, journaling, and yoga can all help you feel calmer at the end of the day. And finally, getting exercise, taking time for yourself, and getting outside some each day can also help you reduce stress.

Reducing Conflict

Finally, there are some tactics you can use to reduce the tension in a high-conflict divorce. For example, improving your communication skills with your ex can be helpful. Speaking from your perspective about how you feel rather than accusing your spouse can go a long way. Additionally, communicating in writing can help you organize your thoughts and prevent you from saying things in the heat of the moment that you’ll regret later. Finally, it’s helpful to prioritize the things that are most important to you with your settlement and let the rest go. Don’t get hung up on petty arguments, but instead, focus on the bigger picture.

High-conflict divorce is difficult for anybody to handle. While every divorce is stressful in its way, particularly contentious ones can leave you feeling quite shaken. Tensions might run high because of several factors, like custody disputes, infidelity, or simply a conflict of personalities. Enlist the help of qualified professionals like mediators, attorneys, and therapists to help you navigate these tricky waters. Use calming techniques like exercise or journaling to help you clear your head. And finally, try to calm tensions by improving communication with your ex and learning to compromise. While no divorce is fun, some can be draining. Hopefully, you can get the settlement you deserve and begin to move on quickly.

Common Triggers for Divorce

People divorce for many different reasons, however, there are some common triggers for divorce that tend to break couples up more often than others. For example, infidelity can quickly lead to a lack of trust between partners. Many couples end up choosing divorce because their relationship is stagnant, or because they realize that they are going down different paths in life. Money issues are another common reason for stress in a marriage. And finally, some couples decide to divorce because of a lack of intimacy. If you and your partner are experiencing any of these struggles, the best thing you can do is establish clear communication with one another. Marriage counseling can be hugely beneficial. Hopefully, you’ll be able to navigate these hurdles and make your relationship even stronger.

Common Triggers for Divorce and How to Navigate Them in Your Marriage

Infidelity

One of the most common triggers for divorce is cheating. Affairs often happen because couples stop communicating with one another or begin seeking solace outside of their relationship. The best way to avoid this is to establish clear and honest communication from the start of your marriage. Letting your partner know your needs both emotionally and physically can help you avoid turning outside of your marriage to fill them. It’s also important to keep putting effort into your relationship and to show appreciation for your partner.

Stagnation

Another common trigger for divorce is simply stagnation. Couples begin to grow apart or realize that their values are changing. Sometimes, they find that their visions of the future no longer align. If you and your partner are experiencing this, it’s helpful to speak to a therapist and work together to figure out if you can find common ground.

Money Woes

Money struggles are another of the most common triggers for divorce. Finances are a stressful topic for everybody, and going through rough patches with money can really put a strain on your relationship. Being honest and open about finances can help you tackle money struggles together. Work with one another to set goals for your future and your savings, and then discuss ways to save money in your day-to-day life.

Lack of Intimacy

Finally, lack of intimacy is another common reason for couples to seek divorce. Sex is an integral part of your relationship, but intimacy can also just be about emotional connection. Consider being a little spontaneous if you feel like your spark is sizzling out. Plan an exciting date night, try a new activity together, or spend quality time without your phones or distractions. Again, communicating honestly about your feelings can help you reconnect with one another.

While people choose to end marriages for various reasons, these common triggers for divorce are some of the struggles that many couples reference when splitting up. Infidelity is a common reason for breakups, as is stagnation in the relationship. Money struggles and a lack of intimacy are also common stressors. The best way to navigate any of these common issues is to communicate with one another. A marriage counselor can give you the tools you need to learn better communication techniques. They can help you reconnect and strengthen your bond with one another. Remember, marriages require effort from both partners. You and your spouse must both decide to put your relationship first so that you can get over these struggles and come out stronger on the other side.

Navigating Parental Guilt during a Divorce

Parental guilt during divorce is a very common response for nearly all parents who go through a separation. However, it’s important to look at the bigger picture. Remind yourself that your children will be happier in the long run with parents who live separately and can co-parent peacefully than parents who stay in an unhappy marriage. And work on improving your relationship as co-parents so that you can all stay close as a family. Take steps to reduce your stress and prioritize your mental health. And most of all, be patient. These feelings will pass as you begin to see how quickly your children will adjust to their new normal. Hopefully, the transition period won’t take long and everybody will be happier in the long run.

Navigating Parental Guilt during a Divorce: Doing What’s Best

Look at the Big Picture

When navigating parental guilt during divorce, it’s helpful to remind yourself that you aren’t the only parent experiencing these feelings. It’s very common and perfectly normal. But it’s important to make decisions that work for your entire family, not just your children. If divorce is the best course of action for you and your ex, then your children will be better off in the long run.

Co-Parent Peacefully

To help ease parental guilt during divorce, it can help to establish a healthy co-parenting relationship with your ex. The more the two of you can get along, the better off it will be for your kids. Especially if you can be at social events together without creating drama. That will allow you to be present at important events for your children throughout their lives.

De-Stress

It’s also helpful to concentrate on limiting stress when dealing with parental guilt during a divorce. You can try mindfulness exercises like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga. Journaling can also be very helpful. If you are struggling, speaking with a therapist can be very helpful. Additionally, exercise and spending time outside are also helpful in reducing anxiety.

Be Patient

Finally, be patient when navigating parental guilt during a divorce. During the beginning of the divorce process, emotions can run high for everybody. However, you all will begin easing into your new lifestyles quickly. Hopefully, your children will adjust easily to your custody situation and you can get them the age-appropriate resources and support they need to process their emotions.

It’s very normal to feel parental guilt during a divorce. However, you shouldn’t have to. Staying in an unhappy marriage won’t allow you or your ex to be the parents you can be. Sometimes, as painful as it is, divorce is the best option in the long run for everybody. If you are going through emotional ups and downs, try to be patient with yourself and remember that this too shall pass. Concentrate on becoming cordial with your ex so that you can co-parent peacefully. Use de-stressing techniques to ease anxiety, and speak to a professional if you are struggling. Hopefully, you will all adjust quickly to the changes in your lives and will realize that the stress of the divorce is well worth it for your overall happiness.

Remarrying After Divorce: Things to Consider

If you’re considering remarrying after divorce, there are some important things to keep in mind. You want to make sure that your second marriage goes the distance, so it can be helpful to take things slow before making such a big decision. Speak to an attorney to make sure you understand any legal implications of getting remarried. Give it some time after your divorce is final before jumping back into marriage to make sure that things are right and that you aren’t rushing the decision. Have the money talk up front this time, and consider a prenuptial agreement. And finally, don’t forget to consider your children’s feelings about the marriage before agreeing. Hopefully, you’ll be able to move forward with your new partner and have a lasting and happy second marriage. 

Remarrying After Divorce: Things to Consider Before Making the Decision

Speak to an Attorney

It’s important to speak to an attorney before remarrying after divorce. There aren’t often legal restrictions on remarrying, but it’s still a good idea to check. However, your alimony, support payments, and child support might be affected. It’s important to understand all of the legal implications of choosing to remarry.

Take Your Time

It’s also helpful to give yourself plenty of time before remarrying after divorce. Getting married right after your divorce is finalized can create a lot of mixed emotions for family and friends. Plus, it might mean that you are rushing into things before the time is right. Allow yourself plenty of time to heal from the emotional upheaval of the divorce process.

Have the Money Talk

Oftentimes, money is one of the contributing factors to divorce. If that was the case for your first marriage, it’s important to have the money talk before remarrying after divorce. You might even consider a prenuptial agreement this time to protect yourself financially. While you definitely won’t want to go through another divorce, it’s especially important to avoid the financial upheaval a second time. Get comfortable talking about money with your new partner so that finances aren’t a stressor in your new relationship.

Consider Your Children’s Feelings

Finally, before remarrying after divorce, it’s important to make sure that your children are on board with the idea. They might have a lot of emotions about your divorce and your new relationship. While you deserve to be happy with whomever you want, it’s also important to give your children plenty of time to acclimate to the idea of you marrying a new person. Consider family counseling if you and your children are struggling to get on the same page with your plans for the future.

Although many people going through a divorce say they’ll never walk down the aisle again, remarrying after a divorce is pretty common. If you’re considering walking down the aisle with a new partner, it’s important to consider all of the implications. An attorney can help you figure out if it will affect your support payments and if there are any concerns legally. Additionally, it’s important to take plenty of time to heal emotionally from your divorce. Spend the time making sure that you and your new partner are a great match in every way. For example, have the money talk upfront so that finances don’t become a source of anxiety in your marriage. And make sure that your children are on board with you remarrying. Hopefully, everybody will be happy and you can move forward with your new partner to a lasting and happy future together. 

Ending an Affair with a Coworker

Ending an affair with a coworker, whether physical or emotional, is the right move to make if you want to preserve your marriage. Whether you decide to tell your spouse or not, ending the affair is the first place to start. Try to distance yourself from your coworker as much as your possibly can. In addition, don’t set yourself up for failure by being alone with them or in risky situations. Purge your social media and stop all contact outside of the office. And finally, avoid the temptation to become “just friends.” Instead, opt for a clean break and remain professional acquaintances but nothing more. Hopefully, you can end the affair and avoid any future infidelity.

Ending an Affair with a Coworker: How to Make a Cleaner Break

Distance Yourself If Possible

Ending an affair with a coworker is easiest if you can physically distance yourself from them. If you sit near them, ask to move your desk or office to another part of the building. You might also consider a lateral move within your company to get some distance. You must be the judge of how much distance you need to avoid repeating the affair.

Don’t Be Alone

Don’t set yourself up for failure if you’re attempting to end an affair with a coworker. Don’t allow yourselves to be alone in the office, for example. Or go on work trips together. Instead, bring along a buffer coworker if possible, and make sure that you have other people around whenever you interact with one another. In addition, avoid situations where you might be drinking around them without your spouse present like company parties or after-work events.

Purge Your Social Media

It can also be helpful to purge your social media and cut off all non-work-related interactions when ending an affair with a coworker. Delete or unfollow them on Facebook and Instagram. If you can delete their contact information from your phone, then do so. Stop all contact with them that isn’t work-related. Instead, if you must email them or speak to them, pretend like your boss is overseeing the interaction. That way, you’ll remain professional at all times.

Don’t Become “Just Friends”

Finally, after ending an affair with a coworker, resist the temptation to become “just friends.” This typically doesn’t work out, and can often lead to disastrous consequences. Either you end up repeating your affair, or you end up in a fight with them because neither of you can be just friends without feelings bubbling up. Instead of trying to be “friends,” try to simply be coworkers or acquaintances and leave it at that.

If you are having an affair with a coworker but are wanting to recommit to your spouse, the first step is ending the affair. How you decide to proceed with your partner from there is your decision. However, saying that you are done with the affair and then repeating it and going back on your word is never a good idea. To ensure that the infidelity is over, try to distance yourself from them as much as possible. If you have to remain coworkers, try to avoid being in compromising situations with them. In addition, cut off all ties with them that are not strictly work-related. And finally, don’t try to be friends with them. Simply being work acquaintances is the closest you need to be. Hopefully, you can make a clean break and then decide how you want to move forward with your marriage.

Blending Adoptive and Biological Children

If you are considering adopting or fostering a child, blending adoptive and biological children is a great way to expand your family. However, it’s important to remember that this is a big change for everybody. If you already have biological children and are considering welcoming a new sibling, make sure that you include them in the process. Use appropriate language and try to communicate on their level. Listen to them about any concerns they have, and talk openly about the importance of adoption. And finally, try to control your own bias. Expanding your family in any way is a big change, but one that you’ll probably be very grateful for.

Blending Adoptive and Biological Children: Smoothing Family Relations

Include Children in the Process

If you are blending adoptive and biological children, it can be very helpful to include your kids in the process beforehand. Let them know about your plans to adopt or foster a child. Give them ways to help with making the transition more smooth for everybody. Let them get creative and help decorate their new sibling’s room, or let them pick out a welcome gift.

Use Loving Language

It’s also important to speak to children appropriately if you are considering blending adoptive and biological children. Use loving and encouraging language to talk about fostering or adoption. Avoid phrases like “given up for adoption.” If your children are of different ethnicities or races, explain why diversity is something to celebrate. And remind them why it’s important for everybody to feel loved.

Communicate Openly

Be willing to listen and communicate openly when blending adoptive and biological children. Reassure your biological children that your affection for them will not change if they’re feeling nervous about having a new sibling. Answer questions honestly and try to smooth over any anxieties they have about welcoming a new family member.

Control Personal Bias

Finally, when blending adoptive and biological children, it’s important to periodically check in with your own bias. While everybody wants to think that they treat all their children equally, in high-pressure situations like a crisis or injury, sometimes personal biases can come out. It’s important to monitor this in yourself and seek professional help if you feel that you are struggling with favoritism.

If you are considering adopting or fostering a child after having biological children, it can be an amazing way to expand and complete your family. However, it’s important to remember that blending adoptive and biological children can be a big change for everybody. So it’s important to take the right steps to make sure that the process is as smooth as it can be. Talk to your children ahead of time and prepare them for the process. Let them be involved so that they get excited about welcoming a new sibling. Speak to them in appropriate language, and allow for open and honest communication. Finally, try to address any personal bias and be aware of the ways that you speak to and about your children. Hopefully, your family will welcome a new member with a smooth and easy transition.