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Category: marriage

Sleeping in Separate Rooms

Many couples find that sleeping in separate rooms, or “sleep divorce” is the secret to avoiding actual divorce. While some couples love being close together and snuggling all night, others struggle to find balance for their differing sleep habits. Not to mention the frustrations of dealing with a partner who snores or tosses in their sleep. There are many benefits to sleeping in different bedrooms that don’t spell the end of your marriage. It can strengthen it. You’ll both have more room, not to mention the ability to adjust your sleep settings. And you can sleep without interruptions from your partner. All of this can lead to an increase in intimacy. So before you judge a couple that sleeps in separate rooms, consider whether or not they’ve figured out the secret to a happier marriage.

Sleeping in Separate Rooms: The Secret to Marriage?

More Room

One of the many benefits of sleeping in separate rooms is that you each have more space to stretch out. While a king bed can feel quite large, when you split it between two people, each person gets roughly the same sleep area as a twin bed provides. If you are a sleeper that prefers to stretch out, sleeping alone will likely give you the best chance at a restful night.

Better Sleep

Another positive of sleeping in separate rooms is that you will be able to adjust things to your preference when it comes to rest. For example, you can keep the room as hot or cool as you like. And you can opt to have white noise or not. In addition, you can purchase a mattress that suits your body’s needs better. If you prefer a firm mattress, and your spouse needs a soft mattress, you can each get what you need to give yourself the best chance at sleep.

No Snoring

The most obvious positive of sleeping in separate rooms is the ability to avoid sleep interruptions from your spouse. The annoyance of struggling to sleep because of a partner’s snoring can end up affecting your overall relationship if it’s a regular occurrence. In addition, you no longer will have to fight for the blanket. Or deal with a partner that tosses and turns or talks in their sleep.

Intimacy

While there are many positives to sleeping in separate rooms, many couples fear that it will spell the end of their intimacy. However, it seems that the opposite might be true. Getting more rest can boost your libido and give you more energy for sex. In addition, you won’t be dealing with aggravations over snoring or cover-hogging night after night. Plus, it gives you a new setting for intimacy!

While some couples thrive on their snuggle time, others struggle to get restful sleep when sharing a bed. Sleeping in separate rooms might be the secret that can re-kindle some intimacy in your marriage. You’ll be able to stretch out more and create a sleeping environment that is perfect for your needs. And you won’t be woken up by snoring or kicking from your spouse. Getting plenty of rest, and avoiding these common marriage irritations can end up making you feel more romantic toward your partner. Who knew that having a “sleep divorce” could be the thing that makes your marriage even stronger?!

Unhealthy Marriage: Notable Signs

Many couples will get a divorce because they feel that they’re in an unhealthy marriage. However, some spouses aren’t sure of how they can tell when their problems have reached an unhealthy stage. Knowing some of the most-common signs can help you figure out if your marriage has taken a more negative and toxic turn…

Unhealthy Marriage: What To Look For

You’re no longer friends

In a healthy marriage, a couple will be good friends with each other. They’ll enjoy spending time together and can have fun just like they would with other friends. In an unhealthy marriage, you may find that you and your spouse aren’t the friends that you were before.

Instead, you may spend less and less time around one another. When you do hang out, you may feel awkward or even stressed out. Instead, you’d rather look for excuses as to why you can’t do things together. At this point, you can tell your marriage isn’t as strong as it should be.

You can’t compromise

It’s also important for any couple to be able to compromise. There’s going to be times where you and your spouse disagree. In these situations, you should try and work towards a compromise. Meeting in the middle will help you reach a solution which’ll work for the both of you.

With an unhealthy marriage, you may find it hard to compromise anymore. Rather, you’ll fight more often, potentially over pretty trivial matters. This can mean you and your partner don’t respect each other anymore, which is hard to recover from.

You feel “trapped”

Ideally, your marriage should make you feel happy and fulfilled. You’re excited about reaching future goals with your spouse by your side. In turn, you also help support your spouse with their goals, and achieve this growth together over time.

An unhealthy marriage will instead leave you feeling “trapped” and stuck in place. Now, you feel like your spouse doesn’t support what you want to do. In fact, you may not even envision them as part of your future plans anymore. If you feel like your marriage isn’t letting you live the life you want, then it may be because it isn’t healthy anymore.

Long-Term Financial Goals for Your Marriage

There are many potential long-term financial goals for your marriage that you and your spouse should be talking about as soon as you get married. Many couples begin talking about finances before they’re even engaged. Making discussions about money a normal part of your marriage will give you the tool you need to tackle financial ups and downs throughout your marriage. Paying off debt should be top of the list, followed by creating an emergency fund. In addition, many couples want to save for retirement and end-of-life care. And finally, you’ll probably want to set your children up for financial success as well. By working together towards these financial goals, the two of you can keep each other accountable with spending so that you can enjoy the life you want.

Long-Term Financial Goals for Your Marriage: Saving for the Future

Pay Off Debt

One of the most important long-term financial goals for your marriage should be to pay off debt. This might be debt from irresponsible spending, debt from schooling, or many other things. However, the important thing is creating a plan to pay it off. Try to give yourself a set timeline and work backward from there. And try to avoid the blame game, but instead, work together to build healthy spending habits.

Create an Emergency Fund

Another of the long-term financial goals for your marriage might be to create an emergency fund. This is money that you save away in case of medical emergencies, car emergencies, or the loss of a job. Sometimes job losses come out of nowhere and couples that do not have emergency savings are left without many options. Try to save up enough to have three to six months’ worth of income squirreled away.

Save for Retirement

Of course, saving for retirement is one of the long-term financial goals for your marriage. However, it’s also important to remember that retirement isn’t just playing golf and relaxing. You might need to save for medical expenses, care facilities, or even end-of-life care. Funeral expenses alone can cost many thousands of dollars. Try to put all of this in your budget so that these expenses do not fall upon family members. And of course, you’ll want to enjoy yourself too so try to make a plan for budgeting for travel or other fun expenses.

Set Your Children Up for Success

Finally, one of the long-term financial goals for your marriage, if you have children, might be to set them up financially for success. This doesn’t mean giving them a trust fund so they never have to work. However, it might mean paying for their college or a portion of it so that they can avoid student debt. Or saving up to pay for their wedding. Or it might mean investing in some companies or real estate that you’d like to pass down to them eventually.

Creating long-term financial goals for your marriage is a healthy thing for couples to do. You should both have an overall understanding of your financial health as a couple. So making money talks a part of your marriage from early on can be very helpful. Try to work together to pay off debt and create an emergency fund. In addition, begin saving for retirement and end-of-life care early on so that you can enjoy yourself later in life. And finally, many parents want to set their children up for financial success as well. Hopefully, by working together, you can accomplish your financial goals and make your future as bright as possible.

Starting Your First Marriage Counseling Session

Your first marriage counseling session might have you feeling nervous. However, there’s no need to be, because the goal is to help you in your relationship. Some couples choose to speak to marriage counselors when they are navigating difficult situations or when they are fighting. And others make it a part of their routine. Whatever the reason that brings you in, you should know that it can be uncomfortable at times. You’ll have to talk and be honest about your emotions. You might have homework to take home. But it will get easier the more sessions you do with your spouse. You’ll learn to communicate better and will learn all the benefits of therapy in your marriage.

Starting Your First Marriage Counseling Session: What to Expect

It Can Be Awkward

Going into your first marriage counseling session it’s good to know ahead of time that it can be awkward. It can be uncomfortable talking about deeply personal matters with a person that doesn’t know you well. Especially when talking about intimacy, sex, and other details of your love life. Your therapist is very used to it and likely has heard it all before. So don’t be embarrassed to bear it all in your session.

You’ll Have to Talk

Another thing to know when going in for your first marriage counseling session is that you’ll have to be honest about things and talk about emotions. If you typically are a pretty private person, this can be intimidating. But counseling requires some effort from both you and your spouse. Your therapist can’t help you unless they know the full story.

You’ll Have Homework

You might have homework after your first marriage counseling session and after subsequent meetings. It’s very common for therapists to send clients home with activities to do together as a couple. You might be asked to keep a journal, make a list for the next session, or do something outside your meeting with your spouse. It’s difficult to see real change in a marriage just from counseling: you need to practice what you’re learning in your day-to-day life.

It Will Get Easier

Finally, you should know going into your first marriage counseling session that it will get easier and easier. Your counselor will get to know you as a couple, and you’ll become more comfortable sharing. Hopefully, you’ll get to a place where you feel very comfortable discussing your feelings with your therapist.

Your first marriage counseling session doesn’t need to be anything to dread. You might be there just as a way of strengthening an already happy marriage. Or you might be there as a last-ditch effort to prevent divorce. Either way, you should expect the same things. You’ll need to be honest and open about your feelings, and you’ll have to talk during your session. You might have homework to do before your next sessions. It can be awkward for many people at the beginning, but things will get easier as you become more comfortable with your counselor. Hopefully, you and your partner can get a lot of great advice for your marriage and work out any issues in a healthy way.

Connecting More with Your Spouse

Improving your marriage is all about connecting more with your spouse. If you feel like things have been a little rocky lately, now is the time to take action before it’s too late. If discussions of divorce have already started popping up, try some of these tips to see if there is still a chance to save your marriage. The most important thing to remember when trying to connect to somebody is to be a good listener. In addition, make time for your spouse in a way that gives you solid quality time together. Learn each other’s love languages so that you can improve your communication. And finally, reach out for professional help from a marriage counselor. Hopefully, you and your partner will be able to deepen your connection and save your marriage.

Connecting More with Your Spouse: Giving It Your Best Shot

Learn to Listen

Connecting more with your spouse, or really anybody is all about learning to listen. And that doesn’t mean just being quiet while they talk. It means giving thought to the things they’re saying, taking an interest in their interests, and engaging with them respectfully. Don’t just listen to find an opening to talk to yourself. A lot of marriages might be saved if partners learned better ways to listen to one another.

Make Distraction-Free Time

Connecting more with your spouse won’t be possible unless you put in the time and effort. And that means making space in your schedule for the two of you. Spending time alone engaging in conversation and trying to deepen your relationship will make your marriage stronger. Just make sure that your time together is distraction-free. Turn off your phones and find a sitter for the kids.

Learn Their Love Language

Another thing that can be very helpful in connecting more with your spouse is to learn their love language. Everybody shows and receives messages of love in different ways. The love language idea is that we all have certain expressions that work best for us. The options are quality time, physical touch, acts of service, gift giving, and words of praise. Even if you and your partner have different love languages, learning to ”speak” to them in theirs will improve your relationship.

Get Help

Finally, connecting more with your spouse might be hard for the two of you to do on your own. So don’t feel hesitant to enlist the help of a professional. Marriage counselors are trained in helping couples learn to connect more. They’ll probably work on your communication skills and give you ways to cope with disagreements. If your partner is reluctant, you can still get benefits from therapy even if you go on your own.

Connecting more with your spouse is a great way to strengthen your relationship and also turn things around if it feels like your marriage is in danger. Connecting often means just taking a step back and learning how to listen more to your partner. A lot of this can depend on your various love languages. In addition, your communication skills are so important in a marriage. Enlist the help of a trained marriage counselor to help you with those and other important relationship-strengthening exercises. Hopefully, the two of you can put in the effort and time to turn things around and make your marriage stronger than ever.

Mutually Working Remotely: How to Save Your Marriage

If you and your spouse are mutually working remotely from your home, tensions can run high. It’s difficult to share a life as well as a workspace with somebody, even somebody you love. With so many companies moving towards remote work, many couples are having to re-evaluate their house space and figure out ways to work from home together. Set up boundaries at the outset. It’s also helpful to each create your own space within the home that’s all yours. Get out of the house whenever possible for your mental health. And finally, check-in with one another to see if your system is working out. You don’t want stress or tension to be building up in your marriage without realizing it. Working from home together is difficult, but with some organization, you can make it work for your marriage.

Mutually Working Remotely: How to Save Your Marriage When You Both Work from Home

Set Boundaries Up Front

When you and your partner are both mutually working remotely, it’s helpful to set up some basic boundaries. For instance, if you need quiet time for certain calls, make sure your partner knows ahead of time. If you are juggling children as well, make sure that you are sharing responsibility for work and parenting equally. Now that you both are home most of the day, it’s also helpful to set up boundaries when it comes to household duties like chores and cleaning.

Create Your Own Space

When mutually working remotely, you and your spouse should each establish your workspace in the home. This doesn’t have to be a whole room. It might just be one side of a bedroom or even just a desk. But let that space be all your own. Don’t try to share desks and switch them off. It’s important to make your workspace a place that is appealing to you personally so that you can be most effective.

Get Out of the House

It can be very helpful to get out of the house when you and your husband or wife are mutually working remotely. Everybody needs a little break from one another at some point. Working and living together is probably more time than you’ve ever spent in each other’s company. So it’s a good idea to get out for fresh air and a little quiet time to yourself whenever you can.

Check-in With One Another

Finally, when mutually working remotely, it’s important to check in on one another from time to time. Some people flourish on having a partner near them all the time. Other people relish their private time. Make space in your schedule each week to check in and see how they work-from-home set-up is working for each of you. You don’t want to let stress or tension build up in your relationship.

Mutually working remotely is an issue that couples all over the country are suddenly having to navigate. The pandemic changed the way a lot of companies operate, and more and more employees can spend some or most of their time working from home. If you and your spouse are both remote, then suddenly you might be spending a lot more time together. Set up boundaries at the start so that you each are respecting one another’s time and privacy. Dedicate a space in your home for each of you that is yours alone. Get outside and take time apart periodically throughout the day. And finally, check in on one another each week to see if your set-up is working. Hopefully, you can find a way to navigate this new way of working while keeping your marriage strong.

Exiting an Abusive Relationship Safely

Exiting an abusive relationship safely is the only way to make sure that your abuser doesn’t escalate into life-threatening behavior. An abuser’s main goal is to keep control over their victims. As a result, they make it incredibly hard for their partners to leave safely. If you are in an abusive relationship, it can be hard to even realize that you are. Knowing the signs of abuse can be helpful. It’s also important to realize that exiting the relationship is the only way to keep yourself safe. Find a support network and let them help you work out an escape plan. Hopefully, you’ll be able to get away safely and begin healing from the trauma of abuse.

Exiting an Abusive Relationship Safely: Getting Out Without Getting Hurt

Recognizing Abuse

The first step to exiting an abusive relationship is to recognize that you’re in one in the first place. While everybody is familiar with physical abuse, there are other forms as well. For example, emotional abuse can make a victim question their own decisions and confidence. Sexual abuse can involve anything from sexual assault to withholding of affection. And financial abuse makes a victim feel unable to leave their abuser because they rely on them financially. Knowing what abuse looks like can help you identify if you are in a dangerous relationship.

The Need to Get Out

It’s important to realize that exiting an abusive relationship is the only way to make sure that you stay safe. Regardless of what they say or how often they apologize, abusers do not stop abusing. They often escalate into more extreme forms of abuse. Leaving them can be dangerous too, which is why you need to have some support and a plan in place. Abusers thrive on controlling their victims, so leaving them can make them behave irrationally.

Get a Support Network

When exiting an abusive relationship, you need to make sure you have a support system in place. This could be a whole network of people or a single trusted friend. If you have family that you trust or close friends, let them know what is going on. They can help you make a plan to get out safely. They can also help you coordinate with local resources and national resources like the Domestic Violence Support Hotline.

Make a Plan

Exiting an abusive relationship can be tricky, so it’s important to make a plan. Figure out where you will go if you can get away. For example, to a friend’s house. Have a code word with your support person which means that you need help right away. Try to put away any money that you can. Document any instances of abuse in case you want to file a restraining order later. And finally, make sure that your abuser doesn’t find out about any of it. Use a public computer to do research and make sure that your support network is loyal to you.

Unfortunately, exiting an abusive relationship is the only way to ensure that your abuser doesn’t continue to hurt you. Abuse happens in many different forms, so it can be hard to even recognize it. Know the signs of different types of abuse and take note that abusers do not stop abusing. Find a support person or network and begin making a plan to get out safely. Pay attention to your partner’s schedule so that you know when you’ll have pockets of time alone. Make a plan on where you’ll go and how to get there. Hopefully, your support network can help you find resources. It’s incredibly difficult to leave an abuser. That is their goal in the first place. Rely on your support network to help you exit the relationship safely, and also to help you cope with the trauma of your abuse.

Home Buying Stress: Keeping Calm

There’s a lot of different things which can cause a couple to get a divorce. Among those reasons is home buying stress. While it can be exciting, buying a new home can also add tons of financial stress which can push couples to their breaking point. However, there are some ways you can minimize that stress…

Home Buying Stress

Budget realistically

One of the biggest sources of home buying stress comes from getting a house you struggle to afford. Worrying about making payments is going to seriously stress you and your partner out. Not only that, but it’s going to also limit how much money you can spend elsewhere too. Eventually, your new home can feel like a shackle rather than something to be excited for.

Therefore, you and your partner will need to sit down and seriously make a budget. You’ll want to keep it realistic and within your means. There’s also handy calculators which you can use to get a rough estimate of what sort of price you should be looking at.

Think about downsizing

Another source of home buying stress is getting something too big for your needs. Now, at first that might seem like it’s no real issue. After all, having extra space might seem nice at first. Still, that extra space will mean a higher mortgage, as well as more costly utility bills, which all add up cost-wise and stress-wise over time.

Due to this, don’t be afraid to downsize a bit. Of course, if you have kids, that might not be possible. But if it’s just you and your partner, then you can probably make due with a bit of a smaller house. That way, you spend less overall, and reduce the stress it might bring.

Pick a good agent

A good real estate agent makes a huge difference when trying to reduce home buying stress. Trying to buy a home on your own can be very daunting. With all the paperwork involved, it’s easy to misunderstand what exactly you might be signing for. Plus, you could end up with a house that has problems you weren’t aware of.

An agent specializes in helping you find a good home for your needs. They’ll know how to handle the paperwork and negotiate to get you a better price. Also, good ones will know how to talk to inspectors and contractors to make sure your house is in good shape.

Pre-Divorce Questions: Making Considerations

When you realize you’re unhappy in your marriage, divorce is probably going to cross your mind. Still, you don’t want to rush into a divorce right away. Rather, it helps to ask yourself some pre-divorce questions. These can help you see what kind of decisions you should make…

Pre-Divorce Questions: Things To Ask

“What’s bothering me?”

Perhaps the first of the pre-divorce questions to ask yourself is why exactly you’re unhappy with your marriage. For instance, is there one specific thing which is causing you to get upset? Or, are there a lot of problems which have led your marriage to deteriorate?

Once you know what’s bothering you, try to think about how you’ve addressed them with your spouse. If you haven’t, then it may be good to see if you can work on them and possibly turn things around. However, if you’ve tried and failed to fix things, then a divorce may make more sense.

“How will I break the news?”

When you’ve decided on a divorce, you’ll then need to consider how you’ll tell your partner. Breaking the news the right way is very important, especially if you want to try and make your divorce go smoothly. Telling them out of nowhere or at the wrong time can make them react much more emotionally to your plans. That’s why you should also ask pre-divorce questions regarding how you’ll tell them.

Rather, it’s ideal to tell them someplace private and when they aren’t busy. Make sure you keep your calm and don’t start accusing them or laying blame. While it’s not a guarantee that they’ll react calmly themselves, it’s much more likely to happen then if you were to tell them some other way.

“What are my future plans?”

Understandably, most of your pre-divorce questions will be about the divorce itself. Still, don’t forget to think about the future. You’ll have a whole post-divorce life that you’ll want to make sure you’re prepared for.

Consider what may change after your divorce is finished. Will you need to find a new job or house? What about your kids, if you have any? Take some time to really plan out what you’d like to do and it’ll be a lot easier to enjoy the new opportunities that come with a post-divorce life.

Stress-Free Traveling


Road trips can test the patience of any family, but stress-free traveling is possible. Whether you’re traveling with just your partner or the entire family, a long drive can put nerves on edge. Many road trips have been ruined by fighting and stress over changed travel plans. So put your best foot forward when planning a trip. Let everybody get a pick of one thing that’s important to them. Leave plenty of time for traveling. Expect changes and delays – mishaps are bound to happen. And finally, stock your car with as many emergency supplies as you can. That way you’ll be prepared for any eventuality! Hopefully, you and your loved ones can enjoy a fun and stress-free vacation.

Stress-Free Traveling: Surviving a Road Trip

Everybody Gets a Pick

Stress-free traveling is possible if you let everybody have a little say in the plans. If just one person is planning the whole trip, others might feel left out or disappointed. Before you plan your itinerary, let everybody in the family figure out something they would like to do. For example, a restaurant, a tourist stop along the way, or an activity. Make sure that each person gets to choose one important thing and try to have a good attitude about each person’s pick. This will let everybody feel like they’ve had a say in the plans.

Leave Plenty of Time

Another way to help with stress-free traveling is to leave plenty of time. Leave time for travel, time for getting ready, and extra time for unexpected stops. Running late is an easy way to get everybody incredibly stressed out. Tensions run high and it can lead to family arguments. Therefore, padding in plenty of extra time can keep things running smoothly.

Expect Changes

You should always expect some mishaps when traveling. No trip is going to be perfect! Try to be flexible and roll with the changes. There might be car troubles, bad weather, or unexpected hiccups along the way. There’s not much you can to do change it, so there isn’t much point in letting it ruin your trip. Stress-free traveling is easier if you go into a trip fully expecting some mishaps.

Prepare For Everything

Finally, stress-free traveling is a little easier to manage if you prepare for as many things as you can. If you are road tripping, make sure to have plenty of snacks and water on hand. Everybody gets grumpy when they’re hungry. Therefore, having plenty of snacks can prevent tempers from boiling over. If you have young children, pack a special new toy or activity they only get to do in the car. You can’t prepare for everything, but stocking your car with as many essentials as you can helps things go more smoothly.

Stress-free traveling is possible, even on a road trip with your entire family. It just takes a little preparation and some determination by the whole group. One bad attitude can spoil the day for everybody, so try to set expectations early. Let each member of the family pick something special that they want to do on the trip. Pad in plenty of time for delays and traffic, as running behind on schedule can lead to arguments. Anticipate that there will be mishaps and try to be flexible with changes. And finally, pack your car and prepare for as many changes as you can anticipate. Hopefully, your trip will go very smoothly. But sometimes the mishaps and sudden changes of plans can wind up being the most fun and memorable parts of vacation!