Friends with Your Ex’s Family: What to Consider

When a marriage ends, does that mean that you have to completely cut ties with their whole family too? There is a lot to consider when determining this. When you married your spouse, you became a part of their family too. It can be difficult to determine if getting a divorce means that you have to stop being friends with your ex’s family too.

Friends with Your Ex’s Family: The Options

Reasons for Divorce

There is a lot to think about when you are deciding if you should stay friends with your ex’s family. First, you need to look at what the reasons were for your divorce. If you had a friendly divorce, this decision will not be so difficult. On the other hand, was it violence, abuse, cheating or addiction? If you are around their family, you may have to relive some of these painful memories.

Keep in mind that your ex-spouse’s family might be more willing to offer you the support that you need and that you didn’t receive from your spouse. However, you should not expect that this will be the case. Remember that your ex’s family will inevitable stay loyal to your ex, so you need to be sure to know where your boundaries are and exercise caution.


Did you have kids with your ex? This is something to consider when deciding if you should stay friends with your ex’s family. Keep in mind that your ex’s family would be your children’s family too. Your ex’s parents are your kid’s grandparents. Their siblings would be your kid’s aunts and uncles. Your kids could have cousins on your ex’s side too.

As long as your ex’s family would be loving to your children, it is difficult to keep your kids away from your ex’s family. They will want to see their grandkids, nieces or nephews. Try and consider your kids when making this choice. Maintaining a pleasant family environment for your children is likely to help them through this transition in their life.

Moving On

You do need to consider if hanging out with your ex’s family too often will make it difficult to move on and build new relationships. Can you really begin to focus on yourself if you haven’t given yourself the opportunity to let go of the past? Perhaps being such close friends with them will keep you from accepting that your marriage is really over.

On the other hand, maybe your ex-family is all that you really have in terms of a family. Their support and friendship may help you get through this difficult transition in your life.

There are many things to consider when you are decide if you should stay friends with your ex’s family. Take time to think through these points and determine what is best for you. Don’t feel bad about letting your relationship with their family evolve over time if your needs or circumstances change.