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Putting Effort Into Your Marriage

Putting effort into your marriage is important for the longevity of your relationship. You and your partner should both contribute equally to the marriage and make a point to continue showing up for each other throughout the years. One of the best ways to show your partner how much you care is by spending quality time together. Another way is to improve your listening skills, which counseling can be helpful with. Every marriage gets into ruts periodically or has times when your focus will be pulled towards other things. And while you’ll experience some ups and downs, your relationship will be much stronger if you both decide up front to put in the effort to make it last a lifetime.

Putting Effort Into Your Marriage: You Get Out What You Put In

Why It Matters

Putting effort into your marriage is important because it’s a way of showing your partner how much they mean to you. It’s easy to get lost in the monotony of everyday life. Especially with stresses from childcare or work. During these times, it can be easy to forget just how special your partner is and stop noticing the amazing qualities that drew you to them in the first place. Putting in the effort will remind your spouse of how much you care about your marriage.

Importance of Equality

Another important thing to note about putting effort into your marriage is that it needs to be an equal contribution. If one partner is always the one making time for the marriage but doesn’t feel that their effort is reciprocated, they might begin to wonder if the relationship is healthy. It’s normal to have certain times when one of you has a lot of stressors and isn’t able to focus as much on the marriage. However, overall, your partnership should be an equal one.

Quality Time

One way to show that you’re putting effort into your marriage is to focus on quality time. It’s easy to get bogged down with our busy work schedules. However, making time for a date night, a walk together, or just a few minutes to sit with one another is important. Put it on your calendar if you need to. Just make sure that your time is distraction-free. Put away your phone, turn off the TV, and spend some time reconnecting.

Be a Good Listener

Another great way of putting effort into your marriage is to improve your listening skills. Becoming a great listener will show your partner that you care about their interests. So make eye contact when they speak, ask insightful questions, and show an interest in what they’re saying. Another great way to improve communication skills is to speak with a marriage counselor. Even if things are going smoothly in your relationship, therapy can be hugely helpful in improving your conflict resolution and communication skills.

Putting effort into your marriage is the best way to show up for your partner and show them how much they mean to you. Every marriage has times when things are great, and times when things are stressful. The important thing is that through it all, you keep putting in effort to strengthen your bond. That will give you the tools you need to get through the more stressful times. Make sure that both partners are committed to the marriage, and that things aren’t one-sided. Consider spending more quality time together distraction-free. Or work on improving communication skills through counseling. By putting

All About Common Law Marriage

Common law marriage is something that gets referenced frequently but is not recognized in many states. This type of union happens when two people live together and claim for the world to be married, but never go through a formal ceremony. There are certain requirements that they have to fulfill, and the rules vary from state to state. People in this type of marriage still retain all of the rights of a married couple and have to file for divorce if they decide to end their relationship. If you are interested in marrying in common law, speak to an experienced family attorney in your state to determine if it’s a possibility.

All About Common Law Marriage: Is It Legal Everywhere?

What Is It?

Common law marriage is a union between two people who are living together and representing themselves as husband and wife without going through a formal marriage ceremony. These unions were popular long ago when rural areas didn’t have as many churches or government buildings. Especially in states where the population was low. However, now that most people have easy access to government offices, most states do not recognize them.

Where Is It Legal?

Most states do not legally recognize couples who are married in common law. Only ten states, plus D.C. allow them. These are Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, New Hampshire, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas, and Utah. However, some states, like South Carolina no longer allow these marriages to form. They will recognize an already established common-law marriage, but this is not an option available to couples moving forward.

Requirements

You can’t accidentally marry somebody in common law just because you live with them. There are several requirements for a common-law marriage, that vary from state to state. A couple must be living together, although the length of time varies. Additionally, they must both be of sound mind and legally able to get married. Finally, you must hold yourselves out to others as a married couple, and represent as spouses in public.

Divorce

A common-law marriage is just as legally binding as a typical marriage. It comes with the same rights and privileges for spouses. And just like an official marriage, the only way to end one is through divorce. The divorce process is similar to a typical divorce; spouses must split up assets and deal with issues like custody and spousal support payments.

Common law marriage was very popular at one time but is slowly fading out of existence in our country. Now that most people have access to government offices where they can legally obtain marriage licenses, many states no longer recognize non-official marriages. However, there are still a few loopholes in states where you can marry your partner in common law. The requirements vary from place to place, especially with the amount of time you must live together. But typically, this type of marriage requires that you cohabitate, that you’re legally able to marry, and that you present to the world as a married couple. Similarly to an official marriage, you must go through the divorce process to end a common law relationship. If you have questions about common-law marriage in your state, seek the advice of an experienced attorney.

How to Spot a One-Sided Marriage

If you are in a one-sided marriage or relationship of any kind, it can quickly become exhausting. In any relationship, both partners should be giving equal amounts of effort throughout their time together. Naturally, there will be times when outside distractions make it difficult to focus on your marriage. However, over time, you should both be contributing equally. If you don’t feel like this is the case, it can be a symptom of a deeper problem. It can happen gradually over time, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you are doomed as a couple. Through counseling and communication, you can rebuild your relationship and begin contributing equally again.

How to Spot a One-Sided Marriage and What to Do About It

How Does It Happen

A one-sided marriage simply means that one partner is putting in more effort than the other one. At the start of a relationship, both parties are often equally committed and interested in putting in the effort. However, over time, there can be a disconnect. It might feel like one person in the marriage is always the one planning dates, initiating intimacy, and working on improving the relationship.

Why It’s a Problem

Sometimes a one-sided marriage happens because of outside stressors taking the focus of one spouse away from their partner. Or because one person has never had a healthy example of marriage to model. But sometimes it happens because one spouse realizes that they have outgrown the marriage. Maintaining a one-sided relationship can be exhausting for the person who feels they are giving more effort. It can quickly build resentment.

Signs

The main sign of a one-sided marriage is if one partner feels they are always the one trying to work on the relationship or improve things. Another sign is if you begin to feel like an obligation, rather, a priority. Intimacy might fade away, or one partner might always have to be the one to initiate it. Finally, you might begin to feel like they don’t have any interest in your relationship issues, or refuse to acknowledge them at all.

What To Do

If you find yourself in a one-sided marriage, try to figure out exactly how you want to move forward. Speak to your spouse and see if they are willing to try marriage counseling or other techniques to improve your connection. Work on building up your communication with one another. If they don’t seem interested in putting in the work, then it might be time to explore other options. It’s not fair to stay in a marriage with somebody that doesn’t love you back.

Being in a one-sided marriage can be exhausting and can build a lot of resentment and self-doubt. If you feel like you are the only person making any effort in your relationship, it’s important to get to the bottom of exactly what’s going on. Try to figure out if this is a temporary phase of your marriage because your partner is dealing with stress or other issues. Or if it’s a long-term issue that you’ve been dealing with for years. You might feel like your spouse doesn’t care about your happiness, or doesn’t want to talk about your relationship at all. If this is the case, think deeply about how you want to proceed. Marriage counseling can be beneficial, but it still requires both you and your spouse to put in mental work. You deserve to be in a marriage with a partner that respects you and loves you enough to put in the effort.

Covid-Related Divorce

Now that the Covid-19 epidemic is passing, we are still understanding the deep effects it had on society, like the Covid-related divorce rate. The pandemic was incredibly stressful on relationships of all kinds, but especially marriages. The uncertainty of the sickness mixed with quarantine protocols created a lot of anxiety for households around the world. If you are still feeling the effects of the pandemic, it’s time to begin moving on with your marriage. Build back and re-strengthen it so that if there is another life-changing event, you’ll be even more prepared in the future.

Covid-Related Divorce: Why the Pandemic Was Hard on Marriages

Why Covid Was Tough on Marriage

There are several reasons why there was an uptick in Covid-related divorce during the pandemic. First of all, many couples faced a lot of fear and uncertainty about their health. The political strife that accompanied the epidemic was also a source of controversy for many families.

Effects of Quarantine

Quarantine also had a large effect on Covid-related divorce rates. Many states went into lockdown, meaning that couples were no longer able to be around friends or family. And for many parents, this meant homeschooling and a lack of daycare. Being stuck together around the clock can put a lot of pressure on a relationship. And many couples faced stress because of their home-work-childcare balance is completely out of sync.

Getting Back on Track

If your marriage took a hit during the pandemic, you aren’t alone. Covid-related divorces are quite common, and even couples that made it through the pandemic together probably faced some stress. Now is the time to work on building back that relationship. Seek out counseling for any unresolved conflict, and try to take some quality time for yourselves.

Strengthening Your Marriage

While none of us want to think about the possibility of another pandemic hitting, chances are, this won’t be the last epidemic. Make sure that your marriage can withstand another stressful event by putting in the work now. The more you lay a strong foundation for your relationship, the better off you will be when tough times hit. For example, work on communication and conflict resolution. Tackle things like sharing the mental load of parenting. And find time to connect to one another without distractions.

While we are still reeling from the after-effects of the pandemic, we know that Covid-related divorce is an unfortunate reality for many couples. The pandemic was tough on everybody as we watched the entire world we know to shut down and change. And quarantine protocols put even more pressure on family units. Many couples saw an increase in conflict and stress in their marriage. Especially parents who were facing things like school shut-downs, daycare closings, and home-schooling. If your marriage is still feeling the after-effects of Covid, now is the time to try to rebuild your relationship. Hopefully, that way, you’ll be even more prepared in the future to face obstacles together as a team.

Deciding On a Legal Guardian

If you have young children, deciding on a legal guardian should be an integral part of your estate-planning process. If either you or their other parent passes away, the other parent would still raise your kids. But what happens if both parents are in an accident? While nobody likes to think about the possibility, it is important to assign a legal guardian to your will. This is the person you task with raising your children if you and your spouse die unexpectedly or are otherwise incapacitated. It’s a big decision and one that you need to carefully consider. You might debate between your parents, your siblings, or even friends. However, there are important factors to think about no matter who you pick. While it’s unpleasant to think about, knowing that you have a legal guardian appointed in your will might give you peace of mind.

Deciding On a Legal Guardian: Different Options

Grandparents

When deciding on a legal guardian, many people go straight to their parents as a choice. However, there are some things to consider. For example, they’ll need to be physically fit and healthy enough to handle young children. Think about them. age and whether or not you feel confident that they will remain in good health while raising their grandchildren.

Aunts and Uncles

Another popular option when deciding on a legal guardian is your siblings. One positive of this is that your children will still be able to maintain close relationships with their families. For example, grandparents and extended family. Additionally, your siblings might have similar core values to you and your spouse. Hopefully, this means that they’ll respect your wishes for how you’d like your children brought up.

Friends

If you don’t have siblings or don’t have siblings that you feel would be a good fit, you can assign friends as legal guardians of your children. Like siblings, it’s important to take into account their values and whether or not they’ll raise your children in a way that you approve of. Additionally, raising kids is expensive, so you’ll want to make sure that it is financially feasible to ask them to take on this responsibility.

Things to Keep in Mind

When deciding on a legal guardian for your kids, there are many things to consider. You’ll want to make sure that whomever you pick has the emotional and financial capacity to take this on. You might also want to consider their support system. They’ll need all the help they can get adjusting to life as new parents while dealing with the grief of losing you. This decision is yours alone, so don’t let others pressure you. The decision has to be right for you and your spouse.

Deciding on a legal guardian for your kids can be a difficult task. There are a lot of things to think about when making such a huge decision. You’ll want to choose somebody that you feel comfortable with, and somebody you trust to raise your kids. But they also must have the financial means and emotional capacity to take this on. When thinking about who to pick, you might consider your parents, your siblings, or friends. The fit has to feel right for you and your spouse. Additionally, it’s a good idea to speak with whoever you choose and make sure that they are comfortable having this potential responsibility. While you hope that you never actually have to give another person the task of raising your children, it can give you peace of mind knowing they’ll be in good hands if the unexpected should happen.

How-to Remove Social Media From Your Marriage

Social media can ruin a perfectly good relationship. It can make people grow distant, change people’s attitudes and even open up the possibility for cheating. In order to keep yourself from getting into an unhappy marriage, you may need to remove social media from your marriage.

How-to Remove Social Media From Your Marriage: Relationship Building

Distraction

It is not a secret that social media can be a major distraction. Many people get buried in their phones and ignore everything else going on around them. If you start tuning out our spouse or even your children, you could be damaging those relationships. Make an effort to be present and stop paying so much attention to your phone. Stop scrolling and start participating in the lives of those around you.

There are different apps that will help limit or cut off your screen time. For example, Apple has a screen time feature that will allow you to set limits and remind you when you are over your limits. Other programs may block you off of the app all together for that period of time. Also, find someone to hold you accountable and do not get upset when they call you out on your screen time usage.

Compare Lives

Social media can make you feel miserable. When you are only spending time viewing everyone else’s highlight reels, you may start to think that your own life is not interesting or good enough. Studies have found a link between social media and depression. Eventually, this could affect your marriage. Additionally, if you are always comparing your life with others, this will take a toll on your own marriage too.

If this sounds like the path you are on, you may need to take a break from social media all together. For instance, delete the apps, or change your password to something difficult and hide the key. A social media detox can help you get back focusing on your own life.

Other Relationships

If you are always looking at other people’s highlight reals and curated, filtered pictures, you could end up becoming interested in someone else. However, depending on how far you let this go, you could jeopardize your marriage. Remember that in real life, people do not walk around with photoshopping and filters on them. Your spouse is a real person, and you cannot compare them to the picture perfect facades people post on social media. Put away your phone, and spend some quality time with the person you fell in love with in real life.

How-to Heal From a Bad Relationship

Real life relationships are not like the ones in the movies. While sometimes they can feel close, they are not always blissful and perfect. Relationships require hard work, patience and love. Although most relationships have more positive moments than bad ones, some are really toxic. Where it’s a bad dating relationship or an unhealthy marriage, these are the kind of relationships that you do not need to stay in. Yet somehow, they can be the most difficult to get out of. At times, it may seem impossible to heal from a bad relationship, but know that with a little hard work and time, it can happen.

How-to Heal From a Bad Relationship: Recovering and Moving On

Grieve

First off, know that it is okay to be sad. Good relationship or bad relationship, you are still loosing something that was a part of you. Releasing those emotions will help you be able to start to heal from a bad relationship. Do not be ashamed to talk to someone about how you are feeling. Grieving is a healthy part of moving on to new, better things.

During this process, and likely later on too, you may start to question if you made the right decision. This is normal as well. Confront all of your doubt. Know that you ended the relationship for a reason. No matter what, do not reach back out to your ex, even though you may be tempted to. It will only cause you more pain, or even get you sucked back into the toxic relationship again. You deserve to be in a happy, healthy relationship.

Self Care

Do not beat yourself up for the choices you made or for getting into that relationship in the first place. Give yourself grace in order to heal from a bad relationship. Practice self-care and be kind to yourself. Know that this relationship does not define you. Spend time with friends and loved ones. This may mean having to reconnect with people that you have severed a relationship with, since unhealthy relationships can sometimes lead to broken bonds.

Remember the things you enjoyed before the relationship that you may have given up during the relationship. These could be great things to get back involved with. You may also decide to try something new. This could lead you to find something new and exciting that you enjoy, and take your mind off your bad relationship.

How-to Start to Heal From Verbal Abuse

While no relationship is perfect, there is a point where a relationship can turn abusive. Many people think of abuse as only being physical violence, but abuse can be verbal as well. Verbal abuse can be very painful and detrimental to the person experiencing it, and the relationship as a whole. It can be difficult to leave any relationship, even a bad one. Do not stay in an abusive relationship. While it may take a lot of time and support, you can start to heal from verbal abuse in a relationship. Know you can come out stronger, happier and healthier on the other side.

How-to Start to Heal From Verbal Abuse: Recovering from an Abusive Relationship

Cut Ties

The first step to start to heal from verbal abuse in a relationship is to cut ties with your ex. Some people think they need to stay in contact with their ex. You probably know that you should not contact them, yet for some reason you want to. This could be because you want to show your ex you are better off without them. It also may be because you feel you need to offer them forgiveness. However, in this situation, it is important to cut all contact with them. You do not want to fall back into the same bad relationship cycle again.

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, it’s difficult to feel closure until you have cut all ties with your ex. Good steps to take are deleting their number from your phone and stop following them on social media. This will keep you from reaching out to them on a whim. If you do feel the desire to contact them, find ways to distract yourself. For example, go for a walk, call a friend, or do whatever you can to get your mind off of contacting them.

Process Your Emotions

Anything we go through something traumatic in our lives, we experience strong emotions. It is not surprising that starting to heal from verbal abuse can be an emotionally challenging process. You may feel low self-esteem, depression, anger or isolation. You may even miss your ex. Work through these emotions in a healthy way. Write in a journal, cry, scream, go for a run or find an activity that allows you to mentally and physically process your emotions.

Seek Support

When going through a tough time, it is important to have a good support network when. This could be a combination of friends, family, and a councilor. You will want to surround yourself with people you can talk to without fear of judgment. Oftentimes, people in abusive relationships isolate themselves from others. Reconnect with your friends and family to be surrounded by a loving support group. Additionally, find a therapist who specializes in domestic violence. They will be able to work through the recovery process and help you move forward with your new life as you heal from verbal abuse.

How-to: Update Your Estate Plan After Divorce

There are many things you will need to change and update if you get a divorce. For one, your will and estate plan will surely look different after a divorce. While there will be a lot of things on your plate, you will not want to forget to update some very important documents. These include your will, living trust, power of attorney documents, and your beneficiary designations. Learn how to update your estate plan after divorce.

How-to: Update Your Estate Plan After Divorce- Changes to Make

Will

If you want to update your will, the best way to do so is to make a new one and revoke your old one. You can revoke an old will by destroying it by means of shredding it or burning it. Another option would be to just make a new will and state in it that you are revoking your previous one. While divorce itself should divert any of your assets away from your ex, their portion will be given to another beneficiary. You should check into this, because the alternative beneficiary may not be who you want your assets to go to. The best thing to do is make a new, updated will based on your current wishes.

You can also state who you would like to take custody of your kids if both you and their other parent were to pass away. If you alone were to pass away, the other parent would likely get custody of your kids. If you want to contest this, you will need to indicate in your will the reasons that their other parent is not fit to raise them. This would at least be taken into consideration by a judge in the event of your death.

Living Trust

You should also update your trust as part of your estate planning after divorce… You will likely need to update some of the languages in your trust. Also, you will need to decide who you want each part of your trust to go to upon your death. Trust can cover things like bank accounts, IRAs, 401(k)s, 403(b)s, pensions, and more. By designating the trust to go to your minor children, you could prevent your ex from being able to control their assets.

Update Beneficiaries

It is likely that your ex is the beneficiary on most or all of your financial accounts. When you update your estate plan after divorce, you will want to consider changing this unless you still want your ex to get these accounts. If you have a new, updated trust, you can make the trust your beneficiary. This is especially helpful if your kids are minors. Otherwise, if you just directly put your minor children as a beneficiary, a court-appointed guardian will get it first. This court may choose your ex-spouse to be their guardian.

It is common for you to have to split your retirement accounts as part of a divorce. Usually, this is because they are marital property. Therefore, you may not be able to change who is the beneficiary on these accounts.

Introducing A New Partner to Children: Divorce

Introducing a new partner to children after divorce can be tricky sometimes. Children often have a lot of conflicting emotions about divorce. If you and your ex are sharing custody, your kids are likely going back and forth between your houses and care about both of you. Getting used to the idea that you are with a new person can take some time. Make sure that you aren’t jumping the gun, and that your relationship is very solid before adding kids to the equation. Additionally, make sure that your children are healing from the divorce and are ready to meet somebody new. It’s a good idea to be respectful to your ex and let them know ahead of time. And finally, start slow and be patient. Hopefully, your children will adjust and accept a new partner, but it can be a slow process.

Introducing a New Partner to Children: Divorce and Making the Transition

Wait Until the Relationship is Solid

It’s very important to make sure that your relationship is rock solid before introducing a new partner to children after divorce. Don’t take this issue lightly because it can be quite an emotional upheaval for children. Make sure that you see a future with any new partners before bringing your children into the mix. And make sure that that partner understands that your children will be a big part of your futures together. Younger children especially can easily get attached to new people, so you don’t want them to suffer if you end up breaking up later.

Wait Until Your Children are Ready

Introducing a new partner to children after divorce also means waiting for them to be ready. Divorce is hard on children, and they probably have a lot of confusing feelings about you and your ex. It can be hard for kids to accept that you and your ex won’t be getting back together at some point in the future. Introducing them to a new partner might bring up some big emotions for them. Make sure that they are getting the proper support and are healing from the divorce before trying to throw a new partner into the equation.

Talk to Your Ex

It’s also a good idea to speak with your ex before introducing a new partner to children after divorce. Whether or not you are on good terms, it’s the respectful thing to do. You would probably want to know if your ex was bringing their own girlfriend or boyfriend around your kids too. You and your ex both owe each other transparency when it comes to who your kids interact with.

Start Slow

Finally, when introducing a new partner to children after divorce, take things slow. Start by having them meet in a neutral, non-threatening location. For example, maybe a playground meetup or an ice-cream date. Use age-appropriate language when explaining who your new partner is, but don’t lie. Let them know ahead of time that they’ll be meeting somebody new, and be careful not to show too much affection in front of them. Keep things light and short at first, and check in frequently about how your children are feeling about things.

Introducing a new partner to children after divorce is a big step towards starting a new future. However, it can sometimes be a bumpy road. While you might be healing and ready to move on from your divorce, your children might not be quite as ready. Give them space to experience their emotions, and be receptive if they have concerns. Wait until they are over the initial transition period after divorce and are adjusting to their new normal. Also make sure that you feel confident there’s a future with your partner before disrupting things with your kids. Be respectful and let your ex know ahead of time, and take things slow with your children. They might be receptive to meeting somebody new, or you might need to back off and wait a little longer. Hopefully, you can all get to a place