Category: Co-parenting

Vacations with Split Custody

Vacations with split custody can be an awkward situation to manage. You and your ex both share custody of the children, and you each probably want to take them on vacations. However, it’s easy to feel more nervous when your children are traveling without you. Therefore, it’s best to work together with your ex so that you can each make vacationing smoother. Give plenty of warning about your travel plans: don’t just bring them up last minute. Discuss the details of your trip with your ex so that they feel more comfortable. Keep in touch while you are traveling to ease nerves. And finally, remember to set aside your bitterness with one another to prioritize your children. Hopefully, by doing these things, you and your ex will each be able to enjoy fulfilling vacations with your children and make amazing memories.

Vacations with Split Custody: How to Make Things Smoother

Give Plenty of Warning

Vacations with split custody are easier to handle when you have plenty of time to prepare for them mentally. Therefore, you and your ex should discuss any future travel plans well in advance. Even if your vacation doesn’t impact their schedule, you should still keep them informed. After all, you’d want to know if they were taking your kids out of town.

Discuss Details with Your Ex

When going on vacations with split custody, it’s helpful to discuss the details with your ex. Parents often worry when they feel out of control of their children. Therefore, giving them a detailed schedule of your plans while traveling can help put minds at ease. In addition, if you’re taking the kids to do something like a beach vacation, make sure you both discuss water safety and expectations beforehand.

Keep in Touch While Traveling

Keep in touch while traveling to make vacations with split custody more smooth. Let your children call and check in with their parents as much as they want during the time they’re away. This will put everybody’s minds at ease. If you have questions concerning how to handle things like pool safety or curfews, make sure that you double-check and get on the same page together.

Put the Kids First

Finally, prioritizing your kids first is the most important thing for making vacations with split custody more enjoyable. They are the ones who you should be focusing on. You and your ex might have a lot of built-up resentment towards one another. There could be a lot of pain and bitterness. However, denying your children opportunities for vacations won’t change your past. Try to set aside your feelings and do what is best for your kids, even if it means swallowing your pride.

Vacations with split custody can often become an unexpected battlefield in the post-divorce world. You might not realize how anxiety-inducing it can be to know your children are traveling without you there. However, you will quickly get used to the idea and be more comfortable with it. It can help to discuss it with your ex in a productive way. Give them plenty of notice about vacations so that you can both prepare. Discuss the details and itinerary of your vacation together and make sure you’re on the same page with safety precautions. Check-in with your ex or your children while they travel to put your mind at ease. And finally, try to remember that your kids and their fun is the priority over any feelings of bitterness. Hopefully, by focusing on them instead of your divorce, you’ll be able to enjoy your vacation to the fullest extent.

How-to Handle Your First Christmas Without Your Kids

When your Christmas is usually filled with the laughter and excitement of kids, it is quite a shock when you have a quiet Christmas. With divorce, change is inevitable. Unfortunately, one of those changes may be your holiday plans. Whether it is your first Christmas without your kids, or your 10th, it will never be easy. The first year will certainly be the biggest shock. However, there are still ways to make your holiday bright. Depending on your arrangements, you may have to plan a different type of Christmas celebration post-divorce.

How-to Handle Your First Christmas Without Your Kids: Creating New Traditions

Alternative Celebrations

Your first Christmas without your kids may feel lonely. Instead of sitting at home by yourself and moping, find another way to have holiday cheer! Get together with some of your other family members so that you still get to spend Christmas with family. If that is not an option, join in with some of your friends. You could get together and celebrate with their family. However, know your limits of whether it would be painful to celebrate with other kids, especially during the first year. Another option would be to reach out to others in your same situation. No one wants to spend the holidays alone. If you know any other parents who are also celebrating without their kids, they may also be looking for a boost of holiday joy. Both of you could use someone to lean on and celebrate this year.

If your kids are spending the holidays far away from you, try to still find ways to communicate with them. Do not act overbearing and try and steal all of your ex’s time. However, see if it would be possible to do a quick video chat so you can still see them for the holidays.

How to Treat Your Ex

Make sure to be polite and respectful to your ex. Think about your kids. It is not fair to your kids if you are talking bad about their other parent. In the same way, picking an argument or being spiteful to your ex will just carry over to your kids. Instead, be positive and excited for them. Show them the joy of the holiday season, and do not send them off to their other parents with conflicting feelings of dread.

Still try to act as a team with your ex as you co-parent your kids. Do not try to out do each other with gifts. That will just cause added stress and and feelings of anger. Plus, depending on your situation, your finances may be cut as a single parent. Do not put yourself into a bad financial situation just because you want to give a more impressive gift than your ex. While the situation is not ideal, take these simple steps to make the best of your first Christmas without your kids.

How-to Handle Co-Parenting and Vacations

After your divorce is finalized, there will come a time when you or your ex will want to go on a vacation with the kids. There will be things that will be different about this trips than when it was before the divorce. While you may feel this tricky, there was ways to handle co-parenting and vacations easily.

How-to Handle Co-Parenting and Vacations: Post-Divorce Considerations

Advanced Notice

You will want to give your ex advanced notice about any trip that you may be going on with the kids. If you have shared-custody, you will want to give plenty of time to rearrange custody times if needed. You would want the same courtesy in return if your ex wanted to take the kids on the trip.

It may also take some time for the party staying at home to get used to the idea that their kids are going to be going away for a while. The parent staying at home may want to fill their time with other things to take their mind off things while the kids are off having fun with their other parent. This is especially true if the kids are going on a trip with the ex plus someone they are dating, or even new spouse. Plan some time with some friends or do some self-pampering in the meantime.

Medical History

Another thing to think about with co-parenting and vacations is your child’s health. It is important for the safety of the kids that both parents are both up-to-date on the kid’s medical history. Think about things such as medications, allergies and health conditions. A full list of any doctors or health conditions would be important to share as well. It would be terrible for something to happen while on vacation and the parent with them be uninformed about the child’s medical history. This could actually prove to be life threatening. Make sure to have open communication about this and discuss it before anyone leaves on a trip.

Stay in Touch

Keep the other parent at home informed with the best way to get in contact with you while you are on your trip. Even if you will not have cell phone service, give the information for the accommodations you will be staying at. This way if there is an emergency, there will be some line of commuication.

Also, let the other parent know about any changes in plans or itinerary. That way the other parent will be able to feel better about knowing where the kids are. Communication helps with trust. This will definitely help the process of vacations while co-parenting go better.

2-2-3 Schedule: Strike A Balance

One of the trickiest parts of co-parenting can be settling on a schedule. However, a popular model that many parents like to use is the 2-2-3 schedule. This plan could help you find a good balance that helps smooth out the rest of your co-parenting plans…

2-2-3 Schedule: How It Works

Basic breakdown

A 2-2-3 schedule is a pretty straightforward system. Basically, one parent will have the kids for 2 days in the week. Then, the other parent will have the kids for the next 2 days. Finally, the kids will go back to the first parent for the last 3 days of the week. With the start of the next week, the schedule will switch.

So with this schedule, you would have the kids on Monday and Tuesday. Then, your co-parent would have them on Wednesday and Thursday, before you get them back for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. This then makes it easy to have you switch days next week.

The pros

There’s a good number of pros which come with a 2-2-3 schedule. For starters, it allows for both parents to see the kids throughout the week. It also does a good job in keeping that time you spend with them equal. Plus, it isn’t all that difficult to put it into practice, which makes it easy to get going.

Due to these factors, it’s a good schedule for reducing potential conflict. You won’t have to worry about arguing with your spouse over getting an even amount of time spend with the kids. Your kids will also not have to go very long without seeing their other parent, which can be especially good in those early stages after the divorce.

Potentials cons

Still, there are some things you should keep in mind about a 2-2-3 schedule. Mainly, it will require a good amount of coordination. You and your co-parent will have to make time for picking up or dropping off the kids, which can be hard if you’re already dealing with communication issues.

It could also be the case that the constant changes end up putting more stress on the kids then you initially realize. Instead, it could be better for them to spend more time at one house and get into a routine. Like with all co-parenting schedules, you’ll want to be flexible and make any changes as needed!