Category: Emotional Impact of Divorce

Divorce Stress: Ways To Relax

Divorce stress is a part of the divorce process that can seem unavoidable. However, the important thing is how you handle this stress. Allowing this stress to build could have a negative impact on your overall health. Therefore, it’s a good idea to know how you can get this stress out of your system…

Divorce Stress: Ways To Relax

Deep breathing

One way to reduce divorce stress is by taking deep breaths. Now, it might sound a little cliche, but deep breaths actually do help with stress. When people get anxious and worked up, they tend to take very shallow breaths. What this means is that they end up feeling out of breath, allowing for the stress to build up.

However, taking deep breaths solves this problem. For starters, they slow down your breathing and help you calm down. Plus, deep breathing makes you do abdominal breathing, which gets more air into your body. All of this can help you re-center and refocus on what’s going out without the added stress.

Create a calming space

Sometimes, it can feel like your divorce stress is always building up. You may even feel like you have no way of escaping from your stressors. When this happens, your stress can feel just too overwhelming. For this reason, it’s important to give yourself a space in which you can relax, unwind, and de-stress.

Try to work on making your home or apartment a welcoming and relaxing space. You can put up decorations you like, get some nice candles, and maybe even paint the walls to a more neutral color. Even things like getting some indoor plants and keeping the blinds open can help make your living space the perfect place to get away from the stress.

Channel that stress

When you feel like your divorce stress has built up for too long, you’re going to need to let it out. However, it’s important to do so on your own terms. Constantly letting that stress build can lead to you accidentally letting it out all at once, usually in a not-so-ideal situation.

Try to find a hobby you enjoy which can help you de-stress. Through this hobby, you can help let that stress leave your body, and be replaced by more positive emotions. You can even try exercising, and turning that stress into your motivation.

Angry Ex: What You Should Do?

Divorce anger is something which anyone can feel. However, what if that anger is directed at you? An angry ex can be complicated to deal with. Still, there’s a few ways in which you can approach them and handle this anger…

Angry Ex: What You Should Do?

Don’t ESCALATE

When you have to deal with an angry ex, the one thing you don’t want to do is respond with anger yourself. If you escalate the situation, you’ll just make them more upset and complicate things further. Instead, it’s a much better idea to try and be empathetic towards them.

After all, many times this anger is because of the grief or blame that they’re placing on themselves. While they may take that anger out on you, they’re really more upset that things didn’t work out. Therefore, keep your cool and let them know you understand how they feel, and that you’re sad too. Eventually, they may turn around and realize their mistake.

Communicate clearly

Communication is also important for dealing with an angry ex. Being able to talk to your ex can help you work on a divorce agreement together. When you work together, you can end up with an agreement that works for the both of you. However, anger can get in the way of this communication-wise.

That’s why it’s a good idea to keep your conversations brief, yet to-the-point. Have a clear point or topic you want to discuss, and focus in on it. If your ex would rather be mean or rude, simply put a polite end the conversation for now. Very quickly, your ex will realize that they need to watch what they say.

Keep good boundaries

Boundaries are very helpful for when you have an angry ex. These are going to be your limits for what you’re willing to tolerate from them. If your ex starts to cross those boundaries, then that’s a signal that it’s time to disengage.

Not only that, but your boundaries can also apply to when and where you want to see your ex. That way, they know not to show up at places like your home or your work. Once they see what you will and will not be tolerate, they’ll shape up sooner rather than later.

Divorce Coping: Methods To Try

The process of divorcing can be very rough emotionally. As a result, it’s helpful to look into divorce coping methods. These methods can help you overcome the turmoil you might be experiencing…

Divorce Coping: Methods To Try

External help

Many people like to seek external help as part of their divorce coping plan. It can be hard to deal with all the negative emotions divorce brings. Trying to balance them and all of your divorce matter by yourself can leave you feeling worse than before. Therefore, it’s helpful to have someone help you.

A therapist or counselor is one good option. These experts can figure out what’s causing you the most distress, and come up with a plan to help you start feeling better. Still, even just talking to friends or family about how you feel can be great for getting those feelings off of your chest.

Practice gratitude

Divorcing can also leave you focusing on all the negatives you think your life has. You might think you’re never gonna find love again, or that your future plans are all out the window. However, rather than letting these negative thoughts take over, it’s better to find things to be thankful for.

Focusing on the positive things in your life is another good divorce coping strategy. Try to think about the things you have which you can be grateful for. This could be your kids, your health, and the support you have from friends and family. Finding things to appreciate can give you a new outlook on divorce.

Do self-care

A lot of people also forget to take care of themselves during divorce. They’re so focused on the divorce itself, that they don’t remember their health matters just as much. Some common issues people run into are trouble sleeping, unhealthy eating habits, and not giving themselves any kind of break.

This is why self-care is key for healthy divorce coping.You’ll find your decision making is going to be a whole lot better when you get feel healthy. Make sure to get plenty of sleep, and eat as healthy as you can. Be sure to give your brain a break from the divorce every now and then too!

Divorce Recovery: Bounce Back

Divorce can be hard to deal with, even when you’ve finished everything. That’s why it’s important to focus on your divorce recovery. There’s a few steps you can take which’ll help you start to move on with your life again…

Divorce Recovery: Turn Things Around

Focus & reflect

It’s helpful to start your divorce recovery by taking some time to focus and reflect on what’s happened. It can be tempting to try and move forward and not think about the past. However, by doing that, you won’t process the baggage you’re carrying. This can come back to hurt you, especially in future relationships.

Rather, think about the issues you had in your marriage. What was causing you guys the most distress and arguments? By reflecting on these things, you can learn what to work on and avoid in the future. This will also let you set some good goals for self-improvement.

Keep busy

Keeping busy is also helpful for your divorce recovery. Having nothing to do will have you not just be bored, but also can cause you to dwell on negative memories. Thinking about all the things you used to do with your spouse can make you feel more sad and isolated.

Therefore, it’s good to keep yourself busy. One good way to do this is by finding a new hobby or activity. It’s especially handy to try and find something that has groups which you can join. Doing so is great for making new friends.

Practice forgiveness

It’s important to practice forgiveness as part of your divorce recovery. In specific, there’s two types of forgiveness to do. First, you should forgive yourself and not place all the blame on your shoulders. There are many reasons as to why things didn’t work out, but you aren’t the only one responsible.

It’s also good to try and forgive your ex too. After all, it’s not like they went into the marriage wanting a divorce. Both of you made mistakes, so it’s good to be able to forgive and move on. Holding on to regret will just pull you down and get in the way of your recovery.

Protective Steps to Take if Divorce is Imminent

There are several protective steps to take if divorce is imminent. If you and your spouse are heading toward the breakup of your marriage, you want to make sure that you’re protecting yourself. Once you begin speaking about divorce, your partner could get confrontational or antagonistic. Therefore, take these steps ahead of time so that you are fully protected. Speak to an attorney right away as soon as you think divorce might even be a possibility. Gather legal and financial information and make copies of important documents. Protect yourself financially and begin preparing to be on your own. And finally, be on your best behavior so that you don’t give the court any ammunition to use against you during the process. Hopefully, you can be as prepared as possible if you wind up going down the road toward divorce.

Protective Steps to Take if Divorce is Imminent: Preparing Early

Speak to an Attorney

The most important of the early steps to take if divorce is imminent is to speak with an attorney. An experienced divorce lawyer can guide you through the process and ensure that you are taking the correct steps. They’ll help you decide how best to move forward and make sure that you’re being financially protected.

Gather Financial Information

Additionally, if divorce is imminent, it’s important to go ahead and gather important legal and financial information. Look for things like bank statements, insurance information, tax returns, retirement account statements, wills, and titles. Make an inventory of personal assets and family possessions. Make copies of all documents you find so that your spouse cannot hide them or alter them later.

Protect Yourself Financially

When divorce is imminent, sometimes as soon as it’s spoken out loud, spouses begin taking vindictive steps to financially harm their soon-to-be-ex. Protect yourself from this by taking inventory of accounts. You might consider closing joint credit cards so that your spouse cannot rack up charges that you might later be responsible for. Additionally, if you do not have a credit history in your name, it’s important to begin building your credit.

Be on Your Best Behavior

Finally, if divorce is imminent, it’s time to be on your best behavior. Like it or not, your entire life is about to be put under a microscope. If things get hairy with your divorce, your ex might use any dirty tactics to get what they want out of the settlement. Focus on spending time with your children and keep a relatively low profile. Now is not the time to begin dating somebody new.

If you feel that divorce is imminent, you’ll want to take steps as quickly as possible to protect yourself financially. As soon as you and your spouse begin speaking about divorce in real terms, it could start a chain reaction. Many exes wind up getting very antagonistic towards one another, and you want to make sure they cannot take steps to hurt you financially. Speak with an attorney as soon as possible so they can begin advising you on how best to move forward. Take inventory of your money and begin gathering important legal documents. Prevent your spouse from ringing up huge credit card bills, and start building up your credit if you don’t have a history. And finally, keep your head down and be on your best behavior while the divorce process is pending. Hopefully, you and your ex can settle relatively quickly and painlessly.

How-to Start to Heal From Verbal Abuse

While no relationship is perfect, there is a point where a relationship can turn abusive. Many people think of abuse as only being physical violence, but abuse can be verbal as well. Verbal abuse can be very painful and detrimental to the person experiencing it, and the relationship as a whole. It can be difficult to leave any relationship, even a bad one. Do not stay in an abusive relationship. While it may take a lot of time and support, you can start to heal from verbal abuse in a relationship. Know you can come out stronger, happier and healthier on the other side.

How-to Start to Heal From Verbal Abuse: Recovering from an Abusive Relationship

Cut Ties

The first step to start to heal from verbal abuse in a relationship is to cut ties with your ex. Some people think they need to stay in contact with their ex. You probably know that you should not contact them, yet for some reason you want to. This could be because you want to show your ex you are better off without them. It also may be because you feel you need to offer them forgiveness. However, in this situation, it is important to cut all contact with them. You do not want to fall back into the same bad relationship cycle again.

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, it’s difficult to feel closure until you have cut all ties with your ex. Good steps to take are deleting their number from your phone and stop following them on social media. This will keep you from reaching out to them on a whim. If you do feel the desire to contact them, find ways to distract yourself. For example, go for a walk, call a friend, or do whatever you can to get your mind off of contacting them.

Process Your Emotions

Anything we go through something traumatic in our lives, we experience strong emotions. It is not surprising that starting to heal from verbal abuse can be an emotionally challenging process. You may feel low self-esteem, depression, anger or isolation. You may even miss your ex. Work through these emotions in a healthy way. Write in a journal, cry, scream, go for a run or find an activity that allows you to mentally and physically process your emotions.

Seek Support

When going through a tough time, it is important to have a good support network when. This could be a combination of friends, family, and a councilor. You will want to surround yourself with people you can talk to without fear of judgment. Oftentimes, people in abusive relationships isolate themselves from others. Reconnect with your friends and family to be surrounded by a loving support group. Additionally, find a therapist who specializes in domestic violence. They will be able to work through the recovery process and help you move forward with your new life as you heal from verbal abuse.

Navigating a High-Conflict Divorce

A high-conflict divorce can be incredibly taxing and stressful for everybody involved. Divorce is often contentious, but some are more explosive than others. If you are going through a very stressful divorce, it can be helpful to seek the advice of professionals. Having an experienced team around you to help you navigate the emotional and legal aspects of the situation can help you feel more in control. It can also help to practice calming techniques to reduce your anxiety. Finally, there are some tactics you can use when interacting with your ex that might be able to help keep things a little calmer. Hopefully, you’ll be able to finalize your divorce quickly and begin the process of healing and moving on.

Navigating a High-Conflict Divorce: Reducing Stress and Calming the Waters

Contributing Factors

Many things can contribute to high-conflict divorce. Sometimes, spouses let spite and resentment control the situation, rather than reason. If you or your ex are making decisions just to hurt the other, things will likely escalate. Child custody issues can also increase the tension in any divorce proceeding, especially if you feel that your ex is not a suitable caregiver. And of course, emotions can also run high if there is infidelity.

Seeking Professional Help

If you are going through a high-conflict divorce, surrounding yourself with experienced professionals can help you feel like you’re more in control. For instance, a mediator can help you settle issues outside of court. An attorney can help you fight for what you deserve with your settlement. And therapy can help you manage your stress levels and begin the healing process.

Calming Techniques

Calming techniques can help you settle down if you are going through a high-conflict divorce. Practice breathing exercises like deep breathing, mentally counting, or a 4-7-8 breath. Meditation, journaling, and yoga can all help you feel calmer at the end of the day. And finally, getting exercise, taking time for yourself, and getting outside some each day can also help you reduce stress.

Reducing Conflict

Finally, there are some tactics you can use to reduce the tension in a high-conflict divorce. For example, improving your communication skills with your ex can be helpful. Speaking from your perspective about how you feel rather than accusing your spouse can go a long way. Additionally, communicating in writing can help you organize your thoughts and prevent you from saying things in the heat of the moment that you’ll regret later. Finally, it’s helpful to prioritize the things that are most important to you with your settlement and let the rest go. Don’t get hung up on petty arguments, but instead, focus on the bigger picture.

High-conflict divorce is difficult for anybody to handle. While every divorce is stressful in its way, particularly contentious ones can leave you feeling quite shaken. Tensions might run high because of several factors, like custody disputes, infidelity, or simply a conflict of personalities. Enlist the help of qualified professionals like mediators, attorneys, and therapists to help you navigate these tricky waters. Use calming techniques like exercise or journaling to help you clear your head. And finally, try to calm tensions by improving communication with your ex and learning to compromise. While no divorce is fun, some can be draining. Hopefully, you can get the settlement you deserve and begin to move on quickly.

Navigating Parental Guilt during a Divorce

Parental guilt during divorce is a very common response for nearly all parents who go through a separation. However, it’s important to look at the bigger picture. Remind yourself that your children will be happier in the long run with parents who live separately and can co-parent peacefully than parents who stay in an unhappy marriage. And work on improving your relationship as co-parents so that you can all stay close as a family. Take steps to reduce your stress and prioritize your mental health. And most of all, be patient. These feelings will pass as you begin to see how quickly your children will adjust to their new normal. Hopefully, the transition period won’t take long and everybody will be happier in the long run.

Navigating Parental Guilt during a Divorce: Doing What’s Best

Look at the Big Picture

When navigating parental guilt during divorce, it’s helpful to remind yourself that you aren’t the only parent experiencing these feelings. It’s very common and perfectly normal. But it’s important to make decisions that work for your entire family, not just your children. If divorce is the best course of action for you and your ex, then your children will be better off in the long run.

Co-Parent Peacefully

To help ease parental guilt during divorce, it can help to establish a healthy co-parenting relationship with your ex. The more the two of you can get along, the better off it will be for your kids. Especially if you can be at social events together without creating drama. That will allow you to be present at important events for your children throughout their lives.

De-Stress

It’s also helpful to concentrate on limiting stress when dealing with parental guilt during a divorce. You can try mindfulness exercises like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga. Journaling can also be very helpful. If you are struggling, speaking with a therapist can be very helpful. Additionally, exercise and spending time outside are also helpful in reducing anxiety.

Be Patient

Finally, be patient when navigating parental guilt during a divorce. During the beginning of the divorce process, emotions can run high for everybody. However, you all will begin easing into your new lifestyles quickly. Hopefully, your children will adjust easily to your custody situation and you can get them the age-appropriate resources and support they need to process their emotions.

It’s very normal to feel parental guilt during a divorce. However, you shouldn’t have to. Staying in an unhappy marriage won’t allow you or your ex to be the parents you can be. Sometimes, as painful as it is, divorce is the best option in the long run for everybody. If you are going through emotional ups and downs, try to be patient with yourself and remember that this too shall pass. Concentrate on becoming cordial with your ex so that you can co-parent peacefully. Use de-stressing techniques to ease anxiety, and speak to a professional if you are struggling. Hopefully, you will all adjust quickly to the changes in your lives and will realize that the stress of the divorce is well worth it for your overall happiness.

When Emotional Abuse Becomes Physical

If you are in a relationship where emotional abuse becomes physical, it’s important to get the support you need to get out safely. Domestic violence can take many forms, but all abuse stems from a place of wanting to have power and control over a victim. While not all emotional abusers will become physical abusers, mistreatment of a partner does tend to escalate. It’s important to be able to recognize the signs of emotional abuse and to notice when things begin escalating into physical abuse. If you are in a relationship that involves domestic violence of any form, you need to leave safely. Make sure that you take steps to protect yourself and any children in the house, make a plan, and get the support you need to leave. After you are safely away, you can decide if you would like to take legal action against your abuser.

When Emotional Abuse Becomes Physical: Escalation

Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse can be difficult to spot in a relationship because the signs can be subtle. Oftentimes, people engaging in emotional abuse try to belittle their partners or make them question their reality. They might use threats, insults, yelling, or gaslighting as a tactic. Victims often begin to question their reality as well as their self-worth. This can make it harder for them to get out of the relationship.

Physical Abuse

Emotional abuse becomes physical as soon as a partner lays a hand on you. Physical abuse might include hitting, kicking, choking, or restraining. However, it can also be more subtle as well. Sleep deprivation, forcing you to consume alcohol or drugs, or preventing you from being able to seek medical help are also forms of physical abuse.

Noticing Escalation

It’s important to be able to notice when emotional abuse becomes physical and to know the signs of abuse to watch out for in the first place. Often, abusers will be overly controlling of their partners from the start of the relationship. They might show extreme jealousy, or be quick to anger. Finally, they might begin trying to isolate their victim from friends and family. Noticing any of these signs might mean that it’s time to take a closer look at your relationship and decide whether or not it’s crossing the line of abuse.

Getting Out Safely

If you find yourself in a relationship where emotional abuse becomes physical, or even in a relationship that has red flags of abuse, it’s time to leave. If you have children, it’s important to leave the abusive relationship before they are hurt. Make a plan to leave when your partner is away from the house. Contact a friend or family member that you trust to help you make a plan to get away safely. There are also local support systems in place that can help you if you are a victim of domestic violence of any form.

Domestic violence is a serious crime. And unfortunately, there is often an escalation where emotional abuse becomes physical. Abusers do not stop hurting their victims on their own. Instead, they often escalate to more and more violent forms of abuse. If you are experiencing emotional abuse, it could escalate into physical abuse against you or the children in your home. Therefore, if you notice any signs early on in your relationship, like a controlling partner or a partner that tries to isolate you from friends, leave. Domestic violence can be extremely dangerous and emotionally damaging for victims. And it can also be deadly. Getting the support you need to safely leave is the only way to protect yourself. Only then can you begin the process of healing and consider bringing legal action.

How-to: Cope with Divorce Emotion & Gain Support

Divorce can being up all kinds of emotions and negative feelings. You may feel like your world is spiring out of control. Not only is a relationship ending, there are many other legal hoops to jump through. Between deciding where to live, who gets custody over the kids, and how to divide assets, there is a lot to work through. While it may seem overwhelming now, know there are ways to cope with divorce.

How-to Cope with Divorce: Steps to Take

Emotions

Divorce can bring up many painful emotions. For example, you may feel emotions such as grief, anger, depression, fear and frustration. The sadness and grief may set in at the realization of the loss or end of a relationship. The fear could be from the thought that you may be alone for a while. Anger could come from the hurt that you have experienced during the marriage and divorce process. Depression could come from the overwhelming fear that you will not be able to cope with all of these emotions.

In order to cope with divorce and these emotions, you must first let yourself go through this grief process. You will not be able to cure these feelings, but you can learn healthy ways to handle them. Once you have let yourself grieve, you will be able to start the process to move on with your new life.

Reach Out For Support

Do not be afraid to reach out to others for support. Many other people have been down the same road as you, and can be a good companion on this journey. Even if they have not experienced the same things that you have, friends and family who care about you will be there to support you too. If your circle got torn apart by the divorce, make an effort to meet new people. Join a club, start a new hobby, volunteer, or get involved in a place of worship or in the community.

If you need to talk to someone outside of your circle, reach out to a professional who can help. A councilor or support group can be a great place to open up without feeling judged by those you know. Talking through your feelings and emotions, and having someone there to listen is all a part of learning to cope with divorce.

Self-Care

Do not forget to take care of yourself through this process. Everything can feel so overwhelming that you forget to focus on yourself too. Make sure to exercise, which will help your physical and mental wellbeing. Pay attention to what your body is telling you it needs. That may be sleep, or that may be learning to say ‘no’ without feeling guilty about it.

Take time each day to nurture yourself. That may look different for each person, but could include doing yoga, going for a walk, reading a book, or spending time with friends. By making sure that you are mentally and physically rested and fit, you will be more able to take on having to cope with divorce.