The prenup conversation is one that many couples struggle with. It can be awkward and uncomfortable because people often have strong opinions about the notion of a prenup. However, in many ways, a prenuptial agreement is very logical and protective. But your partner might see it as a red flag. Try to start the conversation early on in your engagement so that you don’t surprise them. Reassure them that it is just a precaution and that you are not going into the marriage with your eyes on divorce. And finally, remember that this is a discussion. Be respectful of their feelings and give them plenty of time to process and ask questions. Ultimately, you may or may not come to an agreement on prenups, but hopefully, you’ll be able to at least get the discussion off on the right foot.
The Prenup Conversation: Avoiding Conflict or Awkwardness
Why There Might Be Conflict
The prenup conversation is important because the divorce rate is very high these days. To pretend that marriage can’t end in divorce is naive. Realistically, if you or your spouse are coming into a marriage with significant assets or debts, a prenup is a good idea. It protects you if you ever do end up breaking up. In addition, it can save you a lot of hassle if you ever were to go down the divorce path because everything is decided at the outset. However, many feel that talking prenups is a signal that you already are planning your divorce. Or even believe that it’s bad luck to discuss one.
Start the Conversation Early
It’s best to start the prenup conversation early in your engagement. You don’t want to spring this on a partner at the last second. And in fact, it can take a while to settle the prenup agreement so you might not even have time if you decide on one last minute. Begin the conversation early and revisit it if things don’t go as you planned originally.
If you know the prenup conversation is going to bring up strong emotions from your partner, try to be reassuring. Let them know that you are only doing it as a precaution. Many people think that prenups are only for couples who aren’t truly committed to each other. Let them know that this is not the case. Instead, it’s a way of protecting your future.
It’s a Discussion
Finally, if the prenup conversation doesn’t go as well as you hoped, remember that it’s a discussion. Listen to your partner’s concerns and feelings. Give them plenty of space to think over what you said and to ask you questions. It might need to be an ongoing conversation for a while to make them comfortable. Be respectful of their feelings even if they disagree with you.
The prenup conversation is an important thing for couples to discuss in many situations. If either of you is bringing a lot of assets or debt into the marriage, or have children from a previous marriage, it’s very important. Similarly, if either of you runs your own business, or if you’ve previously been married, it’s good to have the conversation. Approach the conversation early on so that it’s not a last-minute surprise to your partner. They may need time to process what you’ve said and make a decision. However, be respectful of their feelings either way and understand that some people have very strong feelings about prenups. Hopefully, you can agree on something that works for both of you and then never think of it again!