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Long-Term Financial Goals for Your Marriage

There are many potential long-term financial goals for your marriage that you and your spouse should be talking about as soon as you get married. Many couples begin talking about finances before they’re even engaged. Making discussions about money a normal part of your marriage will give you the tool you need to tackle financial ups and downs throughout your marriage. Paying off debt should be top of the list, followed by creating an emergency fund. In addition, many couples want to save for retirement and end-of-life care. And finally, you’ll probably want to set your children up for financial success as well. By working together towards these financial goals, the two of you can keep each other accountable with spending so that you can enjoy the life you want.

Long-Term Financial Goals for Your Marriage: Saving for the Future

Pay Off Debt

One of the most important long-term financial goals for your marriage should be to pay off debt. This might be debt from irresponsible spending, debt from schooling, or many other things. However, the important thing is creating a plan to pay it off. Try to give yourself a set timeline and work backward from there. And try to avoid the blame game, but instead, work together to build healthy spending habits.

Create an Emergency Fund

Another of the long-term financial goals for your marriage might be to create an emergency fund. This is money that you save away in case of medical emergencies, car emergencies, or the loss of a job. Sometimes job losses come out of nowhere and couples that do not have emergency savings are left without many options. Try to save up enough to have three to six months’ worth of income squirreled away.

Save for Retirement

Of course, saving for retirement is one of the long-term financial goals for your marriage. However, it’s also important to remember that retirement isn’t just playing golf and relaxing. You might need to save for medical expenses, care facilities, or even end-of-life care. Funeral expenses alone can cost many thousands of dollars. Try to put all of this in your budget so that these expenses do not fall upon family members. And of course, you’ll want to enjoy yourself too so try to make a plan for budgeting for travel or other fun expenses.

Set Your Children Up for Success

Finally, one of the long-term financial goals for your marriage, if you have children, might be to set them up financially for success. This doesn’t mean giving them a trust fund so they never have to work. However, it might mean paying for their college or a portion of it so that they can avoid student debt. Or saving up to pay for their wedding. Or it might mean investing in some companies or real estate that you’d like to pass down to them eventually.

Creating long-term financial goals for your marriage is a healthy thing for couples to do. You should both have an overall understanding of your financial health as a couple. So making money talks a part of your marriage from early on can be very helpful. Try to work together to pay off debt and create an emergency fund. In addition, begin saving for retirement and end-of-life care early on so that you can enjoy yourself later in life. And finally, many parents want to set their children up for financial success as well. Hopefully, by working together, you can accomplish your financial goals and make your future as bright as possible.

Starting Your First Marriage Counseling Session

Your first marriage counseling session might have you feeling nervous. However, there’s no need to be, because the goal is to help you in your relationship. Some couples choose to speak to marriage counselors when they are navigating difficult situations or when they are fighting. And others make it a part of their routine. Whatever the reason that brings you in, you should know that it can be uncomfortable at times. You’ll have to talk and be honest about your emotions. You might have homework to take home. But it will get easier the more sessions you do with your spouse. You’ll learn to communicate better and will learn all the benefits of therapy in your marriage.

Starting Your First Marriage Counseling Session: What to Expect

It Can Be Awkward

Going into your first marriage counseling session it’s good to know ahead of time that it can be awkward. It can be uncomfortable talking about deeply personal matters with a person that doesn’t know you well. Especially when talking about intimacy, sex, and other details of your love life. Your therapist is very used to it and likely has heard it all before. So don’t be embarrassed to bear it all in your session.

You’ll Have to Talk

Another thing to know when going in for your first marriage counseling session is that you’ll have to be honest about things and talk about emotions. If you typically are a pretty private person, this can be intimidating. But counseling requires some effort from both you and your spouse. Your therapist can’t help you unless they know the full story.

You’ll Have Homework

You might have homework after your first marriage counseling session and after subsequent meetings. It’s very common for therapists to send clients home with activities to do together as a couple. You might be asked to keep a journal, make a list for the next session, or do something outside your meeting with your spouse. It’s difficult to see real change in a marriage just from counseling: you need to practice what you’re learning in your day-to-day life.

It Will Get Easier

Finally, you should know going into your first marriage counseling session that it will get easier and easier. Your counselor will get to know you as a couple, and you’ll become more comfortable sharing. Hopefully, you’ll get to a place where you feel very comfortable discussing your feelings with your therapist.

Your first marriage counseling session doesn’t need to be anything to dread. You might be there just as a way of strengthening an already happy marriage. Or you might be there as a last-ditch effort to prevent divorce. Either way, you should expect the same things. You’ll need to be honest and open about your feelings, and you’ll have to talk during your session. You might have homework to do before your next sessions. It can be awkward for many people at the beginning, but things will get easier as you become more comfortable with your counselor. Hopefully, you and your partner can get a lot of great advice for your marriage and work out any issues in a healthy way.

Connecting More with Your Spouse

Improving your marriage is all about connecting more with your spouse. If you feel like things have been a little rocky lately, now is the time to take action before it’s too late. If discussions of divorce have already started popping up, try some of these tips to see if there is still a chance to save your marriage. The most important thing to remember when trying to connect to somebody is to be a good listener. In addition, make time for your spouse in a way that gives you solid quality time together. Learn each other’s love languages so that you can improve your communication. And finally, reach out for professional help from a marriage counselor. Hopefully, you and your partner will be able to deepen your connection and save your marriage.

Connecting More with Your Spouse: Giving It Your Best Shot

Learn to Listen

Connecting more with your spouse, or really anybody is all about learning to listen. And that doesn’t mean just being quiet while they talk. It means giving thought to the things they’re saying, taking an interest in their interests, and engaging with them respectfully. Don’t just listen to find an opening to talk to yourself. A lot of marriages might be saved if partners learned better ways to listen to one another.

Make Distraction-Free Time

Connecting more with your spouse won’t be possible unless you put in the time and effort. And that means making space in your schedule for the two of you. Spending time alone engaging in conversation and trying to deepen your relationship will make your marriage stronger. Just make sure that your time together is distraction-free. Turn off your phones and find a sitter for the kids.

Learn Their Love Language

Another thing that can be very helpful in connecting more with your spouse is to learn their love language. Everybody shows and receives messages of love in different ways. The love language idea is that we all have certain expressions that work best for us. The options are quality time, physical touch, acts of service, gift giving, and words of praise. Even if you and your partner have different love languages, learning to ”speak” to them in theirs will improve your relationship.

Get Help

Finally, connecting more with your spouse might be hard for the two of you to do on your own. So don’t feel hesitant to enlist the help of a professional. Marriage counselors are trained in helping couples learn to connect more. They’ll probably work on your communication skills and give you ways to cope with disagreements. If your partner is reluctant, you can still get benefits from therapy even if you go on your own.

Connecting more with your spouse is a great way to strengthen your relationship and also turn things around if it feels like your marriage is in danger. Connecting often means just taking a step back and learning how to listen more to your partner. A lot of this can depend on your various love languages. In addition, your communication skills are so important in a marriage. Enlist the help of a trained marriage counselor to help you with those and other important relationship-strengthening exercises. Hopefully, the two of you can put in the effort and time to turn things around and make your marriage stronger than ever.

Celebrating Your Divorce: It’s Okay to Be Happy

While some might consider celebrating your divorce a bit taboo, there are plenty of reasons to be grateful it’s over. While the end of a marriage can be a sad time for some, others feel relieved. It’s perfectly fine to feel any emotion about the end of your divorce, but some situations might make you even more excited to be done. For example, some people simply aren’t right for each other, and marriage can create a lot of tension. In addition, many are excited about the prospect of focusing on themselves in a new chapter of their lives. You might also be celebrating if you were in an abusive relationship. Because hopefully now, you will be safe. And finally, even if you mourn the end of your marriage, it’s still okay to be excited that the divorce process is over. It’s perfectly fine to celebrate your divorce. And now that it’s over, you can focus on your priorities more.

Celebrating Your Divorce: It’s Okay to Be Happy It’s Over

Some Marriages Aren’t Right

Some marriages simply are not happy unions, so getting out of one might be a reason you’re celebrating your divorce. While it might feel like love early on, people change and so do circumstances. Many marriages fail because partners grow apart or begin resenting one another. If you are in an unhappy relationship, it’s perfectly fine to feel a sense of relief when it is over.

Time for a New You

Another reason you might be celebrating your divorce is that now is the time to start a new chapter in your life. So many people feel like they have to prioritize their partner’s needs ahead of their own or have spouses that are not supportive of their goals. If this is your situation, you might be excited about the prospect of finally getting to focus on your own needs for a change. You might also be excited about the idea of meeting somebody new who will be a better fit for you.

Getting Yourself to Safety

Unfortunately, sometimes relationships are not only rocky, but they’re also downright abusive. If you are getting out of a dangerous or abusive environment, you’re probably celebrating your divorce. Especially if you have children that you are also getting to safety. Abuse can take many forms, not just physical violence. Plenty of victims experience emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and financial abuse. Getting safely out of any sort of abusive relationship is a cause for celebration.

The Divorce Process is Stressful

Finally, the divorce process itself is incredibly stressful. It can feel overwhelming at times and drag on and on, bringing out the worst in everybody. Even if you are mourning the end of your marriage, you might still be celebrating your divorce. You’re finally done with the legal process and can move on to other priorities in your life.

The divorce process can bring out many different emotions. It’s perfectly fine to mourn the end of your marriage, feel confused about your future, or even be celebrating your divorce. Especially if you are getting out of a bad or dangerous marriage. Even if your marriage was healthy for a while, divorce can bring out the worst in everybody. You might be excited to be able to start a new chapter in your life, and maybe even meet somebody new. And if you were in an abusive relationship, finally being free of it can feel like a huge relief. Even if you are upset about the end of your marriage, the divorce process itself can be painful. It’s okay to be happy that it’s over. Now is the time to focus on yourself, find your new identity apart from your ex, and begin the next part of your life.

Creative Bonding: Child Connections

Sometimes, divorce can cause your kids to become somewhat distant and withdrawn. When this happens, you might want to try some creative bonding exercises. These unique methods can help you start to re-connect with your kids…

Creative Bonding: Child Connections

Drawing & painting

Drawing and painting are both very good creative bonding techniques to use. These are some of the basics when it comes to looking for something creative to do with your kids. Plus, it’s something those especially young kids can do and still enjoy, making it very versatile.

Remember, thought, that you still want to make it fun and engaging for them. A good way to do this is by giving it structure. Try to pick some kind of theme or topic that the works will center around. Be sure to join in the process as well! You kids will love to have you a part of the process.

Spend some time outside

Technology certainly is popular these days, especially among those who are younger. However, it can also cause them to be more withdrawn. Sometimes, it can be useful to have them (and you) take a break from technology and do some creative bonding together outside.

Now, you don’t have to pull of some grand camping trip somewhere. After all, you want to make sure that your kids will enjoy the things you do. Try to start off smaller instead, by say going outside in the yard or to a nearby park. There’s a wide variety of outdoor games and activities you and your kids can do together.

Get into their interests

You surely have your fair share of hobbies or interests, and your kids certainly do as well. Therefore, what better way to get some creative bonding done than by talking to them about these interests? Kids tend to like it when their parents show some real, genuine interest into their hobbies and such.

It helps to do some research beforehand on what exactly your kids are into. That way, it shows them you’re serious about getting to know what they like. Doing so will make them much more likely to open up and get you involved in these interests.

Mutually Working Remotely: How to Save Your Marriage

If you and your spouse are mutually working remotely from your home, tensions can run high. It’s difficult to share a life as well as a workspace with somebody, even somebody you love. With so many companies moving towards remote work, many couples are having to re-evaluate their house space and figure out ways to work from home together. Set up boundaries at the outset. It’s also helpful to each create your own space within the home that’s all yours. Get out of the house whenever possible for your mental health. And finally, check-in with one another to see if your system is working out. You don’t want stress or tension to be building up in your marriage without realizing it. Working from home together is difficult, but with some organization, you can make it work for your marriage.

Mutually Working Remotely: How to Save Your Marriage When You Both Work from Home

Set Boundaries Up Front

When you and your partner are both mutually working remotely, it’s helpful to set up some basic boundaries. For instance, if you need quiet time for certain calls, make sure your partner knows ahead of time. If you are juggling children as well, make sure that you are sharing responsibility for work and parenting equally. Now that you both are home most of the day, it’s also helpful to set up boundaries when it comes to household duties like chores and cleaning.

Create Your Own Space

When mutually working remotely, you and your spouse should each establish your workspace in the home. This doesn’t have to be a whole room. It might just be one side of a bedroom or even just a desk. But let that space be all your own. Don’t try to share desks and switch them off. It’s important to make your workspace a place that is appealing to you personally so that you can be most effective.

Get Out of the House

It can be very helpful to get out of the house when you and your husband or wife are mutually working remotely. Everybody needs a little break from one another at some point. Working and living together is probably more time than you’ve ever spent in each other’s company. So it’s a good idea to get out for fresh air and a little quiet time to yourself whenever you can.

Check-in With One Another

Finally, when mutually working remotely, it’s important to check in on one another from time to time. Some people flourish on having a partner near them all the time. Other people relish their private time. Make space in your schedule each week to check in and see how they work-from-home set-up is working for each of you. You don’t want to let stress or tension build up in your relationship.

Mutually working remotely is an issue that couples all over the country are suddenly having to navigate. The pandemic changed the way a lot of companies operate, and more and more employees can spend some or most of their time working from home. If you and your spouse are both remote, then suddenly you might be spending a lot more time together. Set up boundaries at the start so that you each are respecting one another’s time and privacy. Dedicate a space in your home for each of you that is yours alone. Get outside and take time apart periodically throughout the day. And finally, check in on one another each week to see if your set-up is working. Hopefully, you can find a way to navigate this new way of working while keeping your marriage strong.

Exiting an Abusive Relationship Safely

Exiting an abusive relationship safely is the only way to make sure that your abuser doesn’t escalate into life-threatening behavior. An abuser’s main goal is to keep control over their victims. As a result, they make it incredibly hard for their partners to leave safely. If you are in an abusive relationship, it can be hard to even realize that you are. Knowing the signs of abuse can be helpful. It’s also important to realize that exiting the relationship is the only way to keep yourself safe. Find a support network and let them help you work out an escape plan. Hopefully, you’ll be able to get away safely and begin healing from the trauma of abuse.

Exiting an Abusive Relationship Safely: Getting Out Without Getting Hurt

Recognizing Abuse

The first step to exiting an abusive relationship is to recognize that you’re in one in the first place. While everybody is familiar with physical abuse, there are other forms as well. For example, emotional abuse can make a victim question their own decisions and confidence. Sexual abuse can involve anything from sexual assault to withholding of affection. And financial abuse makes a victim feel unable to leave their abuser because they rely on them financially. Knowing what abuse looks like can help you identify if you are in a dangerous relationship.

The Need to Get Out

It’s important to realize that exiting an abusive relationship is the only way to make sure that you stay safe. Regardless of what they say or how often they apologize, abusers do not stop abusing. They often escalate into more extreme forms of abuse. Leaving them can be dangerous too, which is why you need to have some support and a plan in place. Abusers thrive on controlling their victims, so leaving them can make them behave irrationally.

Get a Support Network

When exiting an abusive relationship, you need to make sure you have a support system in place. This could be a whole network of people or a single trusted friend. If you have family that you trust or close friends, let them know what is going on. They can help you make a plan to get out safely. They can also help you coordinate with local resources and national resources like the Domestic Violence Support Hotline.

Make a Plan

Exiting an abusive relationship can be tricky, so it’s important to make a plan. Figure out where you will go if you can get away. For example, to a friend’s house. Have a code word with your support person which means that you need help right away. Try to put away any money that you can. Document any instances of abuse in case you want to file a restraining order later. And finally, make sure that your abuser doesn’t find out about any of it. Use a public computer to do research and make sure that your support network is loyal to you.

Unfortunately, exiting an abusive relationship is the only way to ensure that your abuser doesn’t continue to hurt you. Abuse happens in many different forms, so it can be hard to even recognize it. Know the signs of different types of abuse and take note that abusers do not stop abusing. Find a support person or network and begin making a plan to get out safely. Pay attention to your partner’s schedule so that you know when you’ll have pockets of time alone. Make a plan on where you’ll go and how to get there. Hopefully, your support network can help you find resources. It’s incredibly difficult to leave an abuser. That is their goal in the first place. Rely on your support network to help you exit the relationship safely, and also to help you cope with the trauma of your abuse.

Friendly Divorce: Keep The Peace

Many people assume that divorce is filled with arguments and quick tempers. However, it is possible to pull off a friendly divorce. By doing so, it becomes a lot easier for you and your ex to remain on good terms, and further your post-divorce cooperation…

Friendly Divorce: Keep The Peace

Try to avoid rough starts

There’s a lot of different reasons as to why couples divorce. Many of these reasons tend to be pretty negative and tend to be upsetting. Due to this, it could have your divorce start out pretty rough. Therefore, if you want a friendly divorce, it’s best to avoid this from happening.

It’s understandable that your emotions will be raw, and you may feel pretty upset at your partner. However, taking those feelings out on your partner won’t make things better. Rather, it’ll just make the whole process much harder. Instead, use other means besides your divorce process to get those stronger feelings processed.

Focus on the kids

Another way to ensure a friendly divorce is by thinking about your kids. While you and your soon-to-be-ex may have your differences, you can both agree on wanting what’s best for the kids. Because of this, it helps to use this shared goal as a basis for keeping your divorce low conflict.

Plus, this is a good way for you both to work on your teamwork. For instance, you’ll want to talk about the divorce to your kids together and reassure them that things will be okay. You’ll also have to discuss potential co-parenting plans. By working with the kids in mind, it’ll help you keep the divorce peaceful.

Commit to working together

It can be hard to sort out disagreements with your spouse at first. This can be especially true if you feel like the divorce is their fault. However, remember that a friendly divorce doesn’t mean you and your ex will see eye-to-eye on everything.

Rather, it means you’re willing to work with each other on a compromise. By being willing to meet in the middle on some things, you avoid those potentially nasty arguments. This keeps things between you peaceful, and plus it also encourages more collaboration down the line.

Divorce-Related Anger

The emotions that can come with divorce aren’t always pretty. One of the more nastier ones is divorce-related anger. This anger can have a negative impact on both you and your divorce process. Therefore, it’s helpful to know how you can get this anger under control…

Divorce-Related Anger

Directing the anger

People will direct their divorce-related anger in two ways: either at one’s ex, or at themselves. For the former, this usually occurs when the person blames their ex for the divorce. In their eyes, their ex is the one who seemingly gave up on them and their marriage. Even if they propose the divorce, they’ll blame their ex for leaving them no choice.

The later choice tends to occur when someone places all the divorce blame on themselves. They feel like they should’ve done more, or didn’t do something right, and now divorce is inevitable. Despite whatever their ex tells them, they will be angry at themselves for seemingly ruining everything.

Anger Impact

This divorce-related anger can have a serious impact on one’s divorce. For instance, if you’re angry at your ex, you might be less willing to work with them. In fact, some people even try to get “revenge” through the divorce process. The most extreme cases see this happening even after the divorce is over with.

Or, you might be constantly hard on yourself. As you place all the blame on your shoulders, your mental well-being will suffer. Plus, you may not even contest whatever your ex wants from the divorce, because you feel like you “deserve” to be punished for failing.

Handling this anger

Divorce-related anger is quite common, and so there’s many ways you can work on getting a handle on it. For instance, you might want to look for healthy outlets for your anger. This could be exercise, writing, meditation, or whatever works for you.

You can also try and meet with a therapist. A therapist can help you figure out what the root cause of your anger is. That way, you can work together to improve your mental health, and better improve yourself for your post-divorce life.

Home Buying Stress: Keeping Calm

There’s a lot of different things which can cause a couple to get a divorce. Among those reasons is home buying stress. While it can be exciting, buying a new home can also add tons of financial stress which can push couples to their breaking point. However, there are some ways you can minimize that stress…

Home Buying Stress

Budget realistically

One of the biggest sources of home buying stress comes from getting a house you struggle to afford. Worrying about making payments is going to seriously stress you and your partner out. Not only that, but it’s going to also limit how much money you can spend elsewhere too. Eventually, your new home can feel like a shackle rather than something to be excited for.

Therefore, you and your partner will need to sit down and seriously make a budget. You’ll want to keep it realistic and within your means. There’s also handy calculators which you can use to get a rough estimate of what sort of price you should be looking at.

Think about downsizing

Another source of home buying stress is getting something too big for your needs. Now, at first that might seem like it’s no real issue. After all, having extra space might seem nice at first. Still, that extra space will mean a higher mortgage, as well as more costly utility bills, which all add up cost-wise and stress-wise over time.

Due to this, don’t be afraid to downsize a bit. Of course, if you have kids, that might not be possible. But if it’s just you and your partner, then you can probably make due with a bit of a smaller house. That way, you spend less overall, and reduce the stress it might bring.

Pick a good agent

A good real estate agent makes a huge difference when trying to reduce home buying stress. Trying to buy a home on your own can be very daunting. With all the paperwork involved, it’s easy to misunderstand what exactly you might be signing for. Plus, you could end up with a house that has problems you weren’t aware of.

An agent specializes in helping you find a good home for your needs. They’ll know how to handle the paperwork and negotiate to get you a better price. Also, good ones will know how to talk to inspectors and contractors to make sure your house is in good shape.