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Category: Divorce

How-to: Have a Healthy Divorce

Want to learn more about how to have a healthy divorce? Check out this video to learn more!

When people think of divorce, they mainly think of negative things. Yelling, fighting, and crying, are some emotions that may come to mind. But do all divorces have to end this way? The answer is ‘No’. Believe it or not, not all divorces have to be bitter messes. Learn more about how to have a healthy divorce.

How-to Have a Healthy Divorce: Changing Your Mindset

Remove the Negative Emotions

You meet someone, you fall in love, and then you live happily every after, right? Reality check. Relationships are not always like they are in the movies. You will have ups and downs, and sometimes they come to an end. Instead of choosing to be angry about that, do your best to look at the situation for what it is. Be glad you met that person and you were able to have a shot at doing life together. However, something happened, and you no longer feel that spark and love anymore. The first step in having a healthy divorce is to reframe your mindset. Recognize what has transpired and choose to be rational. Sure, going through a separation is an emotional roller coaster, but do your best to put the emotions aside. It may be a good idea to find a neutral party who can help you make sensible decisions.

Sometimes you may be getting a divorce because your spouse did something terrible like cheat on you. You can either be angry and bitter forever, or you can look at the situation from a fresh perspective. This person you loved is no longer a person who has done right by you. They have hurt and betrayed you. In reality, it may be a good thing that you are splitting up from them. While this person may have been good for you at one period, they may not be good for you anymore. Because of that, it may be a positive thing for you to move on.

Children and Assets

Of course, if you have children with your ex, this is not as simple. Unlike couples without kids, you can’t just split up your physical assets and then be done. You have to work through many things when you have children, like custody and visitation schedules. Children add another element to a divorce. However, do your best to keep any conflict away from the kids. In fact, ongoing parental conflict can increase a child’s risk of psychological and social problems. Oftentimes, it is helpful for divorced parents to come up with a plan and present it to their kids together. Working together to keep your kids calm and as happy as possible can help lead to a healthy divorce. Make sure to communicate honestly with your kids about the changes going on, as kids benefit from open communication.

Staying Neutral When Friends Divorce

Staying neutral when friends divorce can be tough, but if you’re friends with both husband and wife, it’s the only way to maintain your friendship with both. Try to set boundaries at the beginning about how involved you are comfortable being. Set expectations with them about wanting to stay neutral, and shut down trash-talking. Remember that you’re always getting one side of the story at a time, so take things with a grain of salt. And finally, remember to be a sounding board, but not a therapist. It’s not your job to fix their problems, but rather to be a support. Hopefully, they can have a reasonably amicable divorce and you’ll be able to maintain your friendship with both without having to pick sides.

Staying Neutral When Friends Divorce: Maintaining Friendships

Set Boundaries

When friends divorce, it can be helpful to set boundaries up front. Let them know that you want to be supportive, however, don’t let them take advantage of that. You cannot be fielding phone calls all day and night. It’s also important to remind them that you can’t be their mediator or go-between. That’s a job for a professional mediator or marriage counselor.

Set Expectations

It can be helpful to set expectations upfront when friends divorce. Let them know that you truly want to stay neutral and remain close to both of them. If that’s going to be a problem for either one, then you need to know at the start. Tell them you’re happy to be a sympathetic ear but that you don’t want to engage in trash-talking the ex.

A Grain of Salt

Try to remember to take everything with a grain of salt when friends divorce. While you might be hearing from both of them, you’re only ever getting one side at a time. Their version of the truth is always going to be different than their exes. Even if the facts are the same, each person might interpret things differently. So try to remember that no matter what you hear about either of your friends, it’s coming from a perspective that can’t be trusted.

Be A Sounding Board

Finally, when friends divorce, remember to be a sounding board and not a therapist. Let them tell you how they’re feeling, but try to avoid giving advice. You don’t want to look like you’re trying to affect how their divorce proceedings go. Instead, use neutral responses like ”I’m sorry you’re going through this.” Or ”that sounds like it would be really hard to deal with.” By staying neutral with your responses you can avoid seeming like you’re picking sides.

Staying neutral when friends divorce can often put you in a tricky position. But if you’re close with both parties, you’ll need to avoid giving advice or seeming like you’re picking sides. Set boundaries and expectations early on and let your friends know that it’s your goal to remain in both of their lives. Remember that you are a sounding board, and not a mediator or therapist. It’s not your job to try to fix their marital issues, and you’ll probably wind up regretting it if you try. Instead, try to keep your responses neutral and remember to take everything with a grain of salt. Hopefully, you can be a supportive friend without feeling the need to pick sides in their divorce.

Divorce Cybersecurity: Improve Yours

In this day and age, staying safe online while divorcing is very important. That’s why it’s key you improve your divorce cybersecurity. Taking a few steps can really help protect you and your info online…

Divorce Cybersecurity: Changes To Make

Watch for cyberbullying

 Cyberbullying is one of the biggest reasons as to why you’ll want to have good divorce cybersecurity. Most people hear about cyberbullying in relation to when students at a school do it to someone else. In reality, it’s something which can occur to anyone, including adults.

Usually, cyberbullying is seen through repeated harassment and treats online, generally on social media. This can make you feel very depressed and lower your self-esteem. It’s a good idea to keep any records of this harassment, especially if it’s from your spouse, and then to block them and the accounts so you don’t have to see it anymore.  

Change your logins

A lot of people tend to use weak passwords and usernames for all of their online logins. While this makes it easy to memorize, it’s also a massive divorce cybersecurity risk. Therefore, it’s important you update this info to something tougher and different.

Most couples will share their login info for sites with one another to make things easier. This might’ve been no problem before, but now your ex could potentially have access to a lot of your sensitive info. Take the time to go through your passwords, make updates as needed, and set up extra security measures like two-factor authentication.

Unplug for a bit

One of the simplest ways to boost your divorce cybersecurity is by just not using the internet! That way, you don’t have to worry about seeing any sort of nasty things your ex may be saying to you. Plus, it gives you an opportunity to step away and find some better, healthier outlets for your feelings.

Still, that can be a bit easier said than done. These days in particular, a lot of people need to keep connected online to do their jobs. If you’re in this sort of situation, try to limit your internet usage. Stick to the essentials for work, and stay away from things like social media.  

Celebrating Your Divorce: It’s Okay to Be Happy

While some might consider celebrating your divorce a bit taboo, there are plenty of reasons to be grateful it’s over. While the end of a marriage can be a sad time for some, others feel relieved. It’s perfectly fine to feel any emotion about the end of your divorce, but some situations might make you even more excited to be done. For example, some people simply aren’t right for each other, and marriage can create a lot of tension. In addition, many are excited about the prospect of focusing on themselves in a new chapter of their lives. You might also be celebrating if you were in an abusive relationship. Because hopefully now, you will be safe. And finally, even if you mourn the end of your marriage, it’s still okay to be excited that the divorce process is over. It’s perfectly fine to celebrate your divorce. And now that it’s over, you can focus on your priorities more.

Celebrating Your Divorce: It’s Okay to Be Happy It’s Over

Some Marriages Aren’t Right

Some marriages simply are not happy unions, so getting out of one might be a reason you’re celebrating your divorce. While it might feel like love early on, people change and so do circumstances. Many marriages fail because partners grow apart or begin resenting one another. If you are in an unhappy relationship, it’s perfectly fine to feel a sense of relief when it is over.

Time for a New You

Another reason you might be celebrating your divorce is that now is the time to start a new chapter in your life. So many people feel like they have to prioritize their partner’s needs ahead of their own or have spouses that are not supportive of their goals. If this is your situation, you might be excited about the prospect of finally getting to focus on your own needs for a change. You might also be excited about the idea of meeting somebody new who will be a better fit for you.

Getting Yourself to Safety

Unfortunately, sometimes relationships are not only rocky, but they’re also downright abusive. If you are getting out of a dangerous or abusive environment, you’re probably celebrating your divorce. Especially if you have children that you are also getting to safety. Abuse can take many forms, not just physical violence. Plenty of victims experience emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and financial abuse. Getting safely out of any sort of abusive relationship is a cause for celebration.

The Divorce Process is Stressful

Finally, the divorce process itself is incredibly stressful. It can feel overwhelming at times and drag on and on, bringing out the worst in everybody. Even if you are mourning the end of your marriage, you might still be celebrating your divorce. You’re finally done with the legal process and can move on to other priorities in your life.

The divorce process can bring out many different emotions. It’s perfectly fine to mourn the end of your marriage, feel confused about your future, or even be celebrating your divorce. Especially if you are getting out of a bad or dangerous marriage. Even if your marriage was healthy for a while, divorce can bring out the worst in everybody. You might be excited to be able to start a new chapter in your life, and maybe even meet somebody new. And if you were in an abusive relationship, finally being free of it can feel like a huge relief. Even if you are upset about the end of your marriage, the divorce process itself can be painful. It’s okay to be happy that it’s over. Now is the time to focus on yourself, find your new identity apart from your ex, and begin the next part of your life.

Mutually Working Remotely: How to Save Your Marriage

If you and your spouse are mutually working remotely from your home, tensions can run high. It’s difficult to share a life as well as a workspace with somebody, even somebody you love. With so many companies moving towards remote work, many couples are having to re-evaluate their house space and figure out ways to work from home together. Set up boundaries at the outset. It’s also helpful to each create your own space within the home that’s all yours. Get out of the house whenever possible for your mental health. And finally, check-in with one another to see if your system is working out. You don’t want stress or tension to be building up in your marriage without realizing it. Working from home together is difficult, but with some organization, you can make it work for your marriage.

Mutually Working Remotely: How to Save Your Marriage When You Both Work from Home

Set Boundaries Up Front

When you and your partner are both mutually working remotely, it’s helpful to set up some basic boundaries. For instance, if you need quiet time for certain calls, make sure your partner knows ahead of time. If you are juggling children as well, make sure that you are sharing responsibility for work and parenting equally. Now that you both are home most of the day, it’s also helpful to set up boundaries when it comes to household duties like chores and cleaning.

Create Your Own Space

When mutually working remotely, you and your spouse should each establish your workspace in the home. This doesn’t have to be a whole room. It might just be one side of a bedroom or even just a desk. But let that space be all your own. Don’t try to share desks and switch them off. It’s important to make your workspace a place that is appealing to you personally so that you can be most effective.

Get Out of the House

It can be very helpful to get out of the house when you and your husband or wife are mutually working remotely. Everybody needs a little break from one another at some point. Working and living together is probably more time than you’ve ever spent in each other’s company. So it’s a good idea to get out for fresh air and a little quiet time to yourself whenever you can.

Check-in With One Another

Finally, when mutually working remotely, it’s important to check in on one another from time to time. Some people flourish on having a partner near them all the time. Other people relish their private time. Make space in your schedule each week to check in and see how they work-from-home set-up is working for each of you. You don’t want to let stress or tension build up in your relationship.

Mutually working remotely is an issue that couples all over the country are suddenly having to navigate. The pandemic changed the way a lot of companies operate, and more and more employees can spend some or most of their time working from home. If you and your spouse are both remote, then suddenly you might be spending a lot more time together. Set up boundaries at the start so that you each are respecting one another’s time and privacy. Dedicate a space in your home for each of you that is yours alone. Get outside and take time apart periodically throughout the day. And finally, check in on one another each week to see if your set-up is working. Hopefully, you can find a way to navigate this new way of working while keeping your marriage strong.

Exiting an Abusive Relationship Safely

Exiting an abusive relationship safely is the only way to make sure that your abuser doesn’t escalate into life-threatening behavior. An abuser’s main goal is to keep control over their victims. As a result, they make it incredibly hard for their partners to leave safely. If you are in an abusive relationship, it can be hard to even realize that you are. Knowing the signs of abuse can be helpful. It’s also important to realize that exiting the relationship is the only way to keep yourself safe. Find a support network and let them help you work out an escape plan. Hopefully, you’ll be able to get away safely and begin healing from the trauma of abuse.

Exiting an Abusive Relationship Safely: Getting Out Without Getting Hurt

Recognizing Abuse

The first step to exiting an abusive relationship is to recognize that you’re in one in the first place. While everybody is familiar with physical abuse, there are other forms as well. For example, emotional abuse can make a victim question their own decisions and confidence. Sexual abuse can involve anything from sexual assault to withholding of affection. And financial abuse makes a victim feel unable to leave their abuser because they rely on them financially. Knowing what abuse looks like can help you identify if you are in a dangerous relationship.

The Need to Get Out

It’s important to realize that exiting an abusive relationship is the only way to make sure that you stay safe. Regardless of what they say or how often they apologize, abusers do not stop abusing. They often escalate into more extreme forms of abuse. Leaving them can be dangerous too, which is why you need to have some support and a plan in place. Abusers thrive on controlling their victims, so leaving them can make them behave irrationally.

Get a Support Network

When exiting an abusive relationship, you need to make sure you have a support system in place. This could be a whole network of people or a single trusted friend. If you have family that you trust or close friends, let them know what is going on. They can help you make a plan to get out safely. They can also help you coordinate with local resources and national resources like the Domestic Violence Support Hotline.

Make a Plan

Exiting an abusive relationship can be tricky, so it’s important to make a plan. Figure out where you will go if you can get away. For example, to a friend’s house. Have a code word with your support person which means that you need help right away. Try to put away any money that you can. Document any instances of abuse in case you want to file a restraining order later. And finally, make sure that your abuser doesn’t find out about any of it. Use a public computer to do research and make sure that your support network is loyal to you.

Unfortunately, exiting an abusive relationship is the only way to ensure that your abuser doesn’t continue to hurt you. Abuse happens in many different forms, so it can be hard to even recognize it. Know the signs of different types of abuse and take note that abusers do not stop abusing. Find a support person or network and begin making a plan to get out safely. Pay attention to your partner’s schedule so that you know when you’ll have pockets of time alone. Make a plan on where you’ll go and how to get there. Hopefully, your support network can help you find resources. It’s incredibly difficult to leave an abuser. That is their goal in the first place. Rely on your support network to help you exit the relationship safely, and also to help you cope with the trauma of your abuse.

Pre-Divorce Questions: Making Considerations

When you realize you’re unhappy in your marriage, divorce is probably going to cross your mind. Still, you don’t want to rush into a divorce right away. Rather, it helps to ask yourself some pre-divorce questions. These can help you see what kind of decisions you should make…

Pre-Divorce Questions: Things To Ask

“What’s bothering me?”

Perhaps the first of the pre-divorce questions to ask yourself is why exactly you’re unhappy with your marriage. For instance, is there one specific thing which is causing you to get upset? Or, are there a lot of problems which have led your marriage to deteriorate?

Once you know what’s bothering you, try to think about how you’ve addressed them with your spouse. If you haven’t, then it may be good to see if you can work on them and possibly turn things around. However, if you’ve tried and failed to fix things, then a divorce may make more sense.

“How will I break the news?”

When you’ve decided on a divorce, you’ll then need to consider how you’ll tell your partner. Breaking the news the right way is very important, especially if you want to try and make your divorce go smoothly. Telling them out of nowhere or at the wrong time can make them react much more emotionally to your plans. That’s why you should also ask pre-divorce questions regarding how you’ll tell them.

Rather, it’s ideal to tell them someplace private and when they aren’t busy. Make sure you keep your calm and don’t start accusing them or laying blame. While it’s not a guarantee that they’ll react calmly themselves, it’s much more likely to happen then if you were to tell them some other way.

“What are my future plans?”

Understandably, most of your pre-divorce questions will be about the divorce itself. Still, don’t forget to think about the future. You’ll have a whole post-divorce life that you’ll want to make sure you’re prepared for.

Consider what may change after your divorce is finished. Will you need to find a new job or house? What about your kids, if you have any? Take some time to really plan out what you’d like to do and it’ll be a lot easier to enjoy the new opportunities that come with a post-divorce life.

Breaking Bad Habits After Divorce


Divorce is one of the most stressful things that a person can go through, and forming bad habits after divorce is very common. When we are stressed out, it’s easy to start relying on things like comfort food and alcohol. However, now that your divorce is final, it’s a great time to begin a fresh start. Try to put a positive spin on your divorce, and stop complaining to others. Eating healthier foods can make your body feel great. So can cutting out alcohol! And finally, when going through a divorce, it’s easy to put other things before yourself. For example, your children and their needs. However, now that things are settling back down, it’s time to focus on some self-love. Make yourself and your happiness a priority and start forming healthy habits that will make you feel great in this new stage of your life.

Breaking Bad Habits After Divorce: Getting Your Life Back on Track

The Complaining Habit

One of the bad habits after divorce that many people develop is complaining habit. It’s easy to let your divorce troubles be the main topic of conversation with friends and family. Especially if it’s a contentious one. However, now that your divorce is final, it’s time to begin to let go of your bitterness. Holding onto anger will only alienate people and hurt future relationships.

The Over-Eating Habit

Another common bad habit after divorce is over-eating. Many of us deal with stress by indulging in comfort foods. And unfortunately, these are often high in fat and calories. If you are an emotional eater, you might also have started to increase your portion sizes. Try to begin working more healthy foods into your diet. Aim to fill your plate half with veggies and fruit, a quarter with whole grains, and a quarter with healthy proteins like chicken and fish. Be mindful while eating so that you don’t continue to eat after your body tells you you’re full.

The Drinking Habit

When dealing with lots of stress, many people turn to alcohol. And this is one of the bad habits after divorce that can be difficult to break. However, drinking too much can lead to a lot of negative effects on your body, and also the rest of your life. If you feel like you are going to have trouble cutting back or getting sober, look into support groups. Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs are helpful for many people.

The Putting-Everybody-Else-First Habit

Finally, one more of the bad habits after divorce that many people resort to is putting themselves last. The stress of divorce can put self-care on the back burner. In addition, if you have children, you likely have been very focused on easing their transition through the divorce. However, now it’s time to get back to some self-care. Try to make time for yourself each day to de-stress and do something that makes you feel happy. In addition, speaking to a therapist or close friend can do wonders for your mental health. Exercise is also a great stress-reliever with many health benefits.

There are many bad habits after divorce that are easy to fall into. When you’re dealing with that much stress, it can be difficult not to relieve it in any way you can. However, now that your divorce is final, it’s a great time to start to try to break those bad habits. Begin by trying to let go of any bitterness and anger that you have about the divorce. Next, focus on eating healthy and cutting out alcohol to make your body feel much stronger and healthier. Finally, start making some time for yourself. Your mental health might have taken a hit over the last few months, so it’s time for some self-care. Hopefully, you can begin to break some of these bad habits so that you can start fresh in this new exciting chapter of your life.

Dealing with Grief During a Divorce

Dealing with grief during a divorce can be a long process. Everybody experiences divorce differently. You likely will go through many stages with your grief, and they might each take different lengths of time. Don’t compare your journey to anybody else’s. Instead, try to work on healthily dealing with your emotions. Try to accept your divorce and permit yourself to feel your feelings. Surround yourself with supportive family and friends. Take plenty of time for self-care and make yourself a priority. And finally, be patient. This process can take a long time. But rest assured, someday you will feel at peace with your divorce. And then you’ll be able to move on to the next chapter of your life.

Dealing with Grief During a Divorce: Channeling Emotions in a Healthy Way

Try to Accept the Divorce

It’s important to accept reality when dealing with grief during a divorce. Often, the denial stage of grief can take a long time. But denying the reality won’t change the situation. Try to take some time to address the fact that your marriage is ending. Only after you accept that it’s over can you begin to move forward.

Surround Yourself with Supportive People

An important part of dealing with grief during a divorce is surrounding yourself with supportive family and friends. Try to reach out to people that understand what you’re going through and who will help you in productive ways. For example, helping you find new interests instead of just trash-talking your ex.

Take Time for Self-Care

Don’t forget to take some time for self-care when handling the grief during a divorce. Especially if you are feeling very stressed by the divorce process. Take a few moments to meditate, breathe deeply, or calm your mind. Try to find some new activities or hobbies that interest you. Another important part of self-care is getting the help you need if you are struggling. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a professional therapist if you feel like you are struggling.

Be Patient

Finally, when dealing with grief during a divorce, be patient. This process takes a long time. And it takes different amounts of time for everybody. Don’t compare yourself to other people you know who have gotten divorced. Their situation might have been very different from your own. Let it take as long as it needs to take. Just trust yourself and the fact that someday, you will be able to move forward.

Tackling grief during a divorce can be a long and difficult process. It’s important to first accept the reality of the situation so that you can begin to move forward. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that your marriage is over, but denying it won’t change the situation. Surround yourself with supportive family and friends who will help you find new hobbies or even help you when you’re ready to start dating again. Take plenty of time for self-care, including mental self-care. And finally, give yourself some grace. Be patient and know that this process can take a while. However, someday you will be able to move forward knowing that you made the right decision. Hopefully, you’ll be able to move on to an exciting new part of your life and maybe even meet somebody new to share it with.

Divorce Court Etiquette


Divorce court etiquette might not seem like a big deal, however, first impressions are important. Being respectful and well-mannered might set the stage for a positive experience with your divorce proceedings. It never hurts to know the appropriate manners for any situation, especially one as formal as a court of law. Dress appropriately and respectfully. Be on time, or better yet, early. Nothing sets a worse tone than arriving disheveled and late. Be respectful of the judge, and also the other people in the courtroom. And finally, stay calm even when you are dealing with emotional topics. Following proper etiquette might seem like a small detail but it’s best to put your best foot forward when it comes to the courtroom.

Divorce Court Etiquette You Should Be Aware Of

Dress Appropriately

Make a good first impression of divorce court etiquette by dressing appropriately. For men, this means a suit or slacks and a button-down. For women, a professional dress, pantsuit, or slacks and blouse combination. Keep your hairstyle neat and professional-looking, and keep facial hair trim. There’s a place for showing your unique style with your clothing, but divorce court is not it.

Be On-Time

Another way to set the stage right with divorce court etiquette is to be on time. It’s best to arrive ahead of schedule. You’ll often need to contend with downtown traffic, parking, and security measures. Budget in extra time for figuring out your way around the courthouse and going through a metal detector. Arriving early will give you a chance to gather your thoughts. Arriving late and in a tizzy will leave you feeling stressed and does not make a good first impression.

Be Respectful

Another aspect of divorce court etiquette that is very important is to be respectful. When addressing the judge, use the term ”Your Honor.” Everybody should stand as the judge enters. Also, make sure to be respectful of everybody else in court by listening quietly and turning off your phone.

Stay Calm

Finally, another part of divorce court etiquette is to stay calm and collected. Only speak if somebody asks you a question directly. Answer as calmly as you can, without getting overly emotional. It’s easy to feel emotional in this situation, but the more collected you can be, the better. Answer clearly and make eye contact. The more level-headed you appear, the better off you will be.

Divorce court etiquette is an important part of the divorce process. It might seem like a small detail, but getting off on the wrong foot can affect your divorce. Show respect for the court by dressing professionally and appropriately. Make sure to allow yourself plenty of time to get to court, and budget in an extra half hour to make sure you are on time. Be respectful to the judge and also the rest of the court. And finally, be calm and collected. It’s a very emotional thing to go through, but you will make the best impression if you stay cool under pressure. Hopefully, you will be able to make a great impression and have a divorce that is as stress-free as possible.