Author: Robert Reeves

Normal Conflict in a Marriage

Many couples wonder what is considered normal conflict in a marriage. Of course, everybody has disagreements from time to time. But knowing how to resolve any sort of conflicts in a healthy and productive way that maintains mutual respect will prevent cracks from forming in your relationship. If your arguments tend to devolve into aggressive, disrespect, or otherwise toxic behaviors, it might be a red flag that your relationship could use some help. And if fighting is becoming the norm or is impacting your happiness or other relationships, it might be time to dig a little deeper. If you feel that you and your partner need some help when it comes to healthy conflict, speaking with a marriage counselor can be incredibly helpful. Even individual therapy can also provide some insights that can be helpful. Hopefully, you and your partner can get the support you need so that you can move towards more peaceful conflict resolution.

Normal Conflict in a Marriage: Looking Out for Toxic Behavior

Frequency

It’s normal to wonder about other people’s relationships, especially since we almost never get to look behind the closed doors of another couple. Normal conflict in a marriage is a healthy thing, and something that even the strongest marriages face. But arguments should not be your day-to-day relationship status. If it feels like you’re fighting more than you’re not, it might be time to get some help. It’s normal to have some disagreements, but they shouldn’t be impacting things like your overall happiness, your career, or other interpersonal relationships. 

Aggression

Another thing that is not a part of normal conflict in a marriage is aggression. And this doesn’t have to mean physical aggression. Using threats, withholding sex, screaming at one another, cursing – all of these can be part of a very toxic relationship dynamic. And of course, if a partner ever is physical, intimate partner violence is a very serious issue. If you are dealing with any kind of abuse, whether physical or emotional, seek out support. 

Keeping Respect

It’s important that even in the midst of conflict, that you and your partner always maintain mutual respect for one another. During a fight, this means keeping a neutral body position, keeping a normal tone of voice, using non-insulting language. It also means actively listening to your partner when they talk, instead of just waiting for them to finish so you can speak. Try to get into your spouse’s mind and think about their perspective on things. Even when you are in a conflict, you can still remain calm and collected.

Healthier Conflict

If you feel that you and your spouse are a bit outside the range of what’s considered normal conflict in a marriage, seek out some counseling. A marriage counselor can be hugely beneficial, as long as you both are contributing equal effort and being honest. They can help you get some perspective on arguments, or help you try to see one another’s point of view. Even individual therapy can be helpful as well if your partner is not willing to attend a couples session. If your spouse isn’t willing to work on the conflict issue, or continues to promise change that doesn’t happen, you might have to take a hard look at whether or not you want to continue in the marriage. 

Normal conflict in a marriage is a somewhat ambiguous phrase, and there’s really no one-size-fits-all way to measure what is or isn’t “normal.” However, you and your spouse know what the dynamic is of your relationship, and if things feel unhealthy, then there’s probably a reason. Conflict and disagreements are a normal part of any relationship, but if conflict is becoming the norm in your household, it might be time to really look into your relationship dynamic. Your conflicts should never involve aggression or physical abuse. Additionally, you and your partner should try to always maintain mutual respect for one another by avoiding things like screaming or name-calling. If you feel that your conflict isn’t very productive or healthy, or it’s causing issues outside of your marriage, seeking out a counselor could be very beneficial. Marriage counseling isn’t something just for couples in crisis. Even the healthiest marriages can benefit fro

Starting the Adoption Process

Starting the adoption process can be extremely overwhelming for many families. Especially if you have been waiting a very long time to grow your family. The first step is to educate yourself about the adoption process itself, what it’s like to parent an adoptive child, and the costs of different types of adoption. Finances will be an important factor to consider when choosing what type of agency or adoption to look at. Then, you’ll need to look at your options and decide who you’d want to work with for the process. Speaking with other adoptive parents can be hugely beneficial, as this process can come with its own challenges. Hopefully, you’ll get the information that you need to help you make a decision and grow your family the way that works best for you.

Starting the Adoption Process: What to Know

Educate Yourself

The first step in starting the adoption process is to educate yourself. Adopting a child is a big undertaking, and there are a lot of factors to consider. You’ll need to figure out what type of adoption feels like a good fit, and think hard about what you are looking for in a potential match. Consider if you are open to adopting a special needs child, an older child, a child of a different race, or siblings. If you have a partner, you both need to equally be on board with this choice because you’ll need to rely on one another when things feel stressful or when you feel overwhelmed. 

Consider Finances

One of the most important factors when starting the adoption process is to look into the costs of different types of adoption. There are a few options available. For example, there is private domestic adoption, adoption from foster care, and international adoption. Each have different financial requirements and concerns. For example, if you are doing an international adoption, you’ll need to factor in traveling expenses to meet your child as well as the costs of the agency.

Look Into Private Companies and Agencies

Connecting with the right agency is an important step of the process. There are agencies that will help adoptive parents match with a birth mother who is choosing an adoptive plan who will be a good fit. There are also private and public agencies that work with the foster care system and Department of Social Services to help foster children find adoptive parents. And international adoption agencies will help you begin the process of considering a non-domestic adoption. Once you choose which agency you want to work with, they will guide you through their specific requirements and process.

Talk to Other Adoptive Parents

One thing that is incredibly important when starting the adoption process is to speak with others who have been through it before. There will be hoops to jump through, like immense amounts of paperwork, home studies, or even classes required in some instances. And even after the stress of the adoption process, it can also been challenging to bring a new child into your family. Especially if they are older, have special needs, or you have other children and you are blending your family. You’ll need to gather a support system around you and making connections with other adoptive parents is a great place to start.

Starting the adoption process is an exciting step towards building your family. But it can also be a scary one. Adoption is a complicated process that can take a very long time, a lot of perseverance, and also substantial funds. You’ll need to educate yourself on the different types of adoption available to you, from domestic private adoption to foster care adoption or international adoption. Each of these processes are different, have different requirements, different timelines, and different financial obligations. When you do choose an agency, they will begin the process of screening you as a potential parent and finding a match that will work well with your family. It’s very helpful to start connecting with other adoptive parents because this process can be daunting at times. And welcoming a new child into your family, whether through adoption or not, is a huge undertaking. New parents always need a support network around them, so begin building yours as soon as possible. Hopefully, you’ll be able to navigate thi

Preparing for the Death of a Parent

Preparing for the death of a parent is a difficult thing to even think about. However, as parents age, it’s important to discuss with them what they want for their end of life care. It’s best to discuss things like estate planning or legal decisions while they are still healthy and in full control of their faculties. It’s also important to be proactive about your mental health. Gather your support system around you, and begin speaking with a mental health professional and getting into healthy routines. Discuss estate planning with your parents so they can decide how they want their assets and possessions to be handled after death. And finally, discuss things like end of life care so that you know you are following their wishes when it comes to their medical treatment. This is a painful topic to think about, and it can be emotional for families to discuss. However, it can help relieve stress in the end because you will feel confident that you are honoring your parent’s wishes.

Preparing for the Death of a Parent: A Difficult Time

Be Proactive About Mental Health

When preparing for the death of a parent, it’s important to be proactive about your mental health. This will be an incredible difficult time for you, your spouse, children, and your other living parent if you have one. It’s a good idea to find a therapist or mental health professional to speak to about your concerns ahead of time. That way, they can help you prepare mentally and can help guide you through this difficult time. Get into a healthy routine of exercise, getting sleep, and eating a balanced diet so that your body is able to face the stresses of grief. 

Gather Your Support System

It’s also helpful to begin gathering your support system early when preparing for the death of a parent. Let close friends or family know what is happening, and let them know how they can be helpful. People don’t always know exactly how to respond in situations like this, so offering them some ideas of what can be supportive will help. For example, you might ask that they prepare meals or provide childcare while you tend to your parent.

Estate Planning

While it can be awkward to discuss, it is important to consider estate planning if you’re preparing for the death of a parent. If they are still in control of their mental faculties, they’ll need to consider how they want their assets and possessions handled after death. If they have a living spouse, it’s something they should discuss together so that the spouse knows what their wishes are for when they eventually pass too. Hiring an experienced estate attorney can help you navigate decisions like passing down property, assets, and possessions.

End of Life Decisions

Finally, you’ll also need to discuss end of life decisions if possible. There are many questions to be asked when it comes to end of life care. For example, do they want CPR or resuscitation? Do they want a feeding tube or ventilator? Who do they want making medical decisions on their behalf? Having an idea of what they prefer can give you peace of mind that you are honoring their wishes. They might also have preferences when it comes to funeral arrangements or burial vs cremation. While it’s painful and uncomfortable to discuss, these are important decisions that they might have strong feelings about, so it’s best to hear it straight from them if possible.

There is nothing that can alleviate the pain of preparing for the death of a parent. But getting as many things in order before it happens can help you deal with the logistical side of things early so that you can focus on your emotional wellbeing when the time comes. Be proactive about mental health care for yourself and family by finding a therapist or counselor to talk to. Gather your support system and let them know what kind of things will help in the upcoming weeks. If possible, have your parent discuss their estate planning decisions with you and their living spouse if applicable. They’ll also need to decide on end of life decisions like who they want in charge of their medical care, and what kinds of treatments they prefer. While it’s uncomfortable to think about, and definitely painful to discuss, having these conversations can actually make things less stressful when they pass away. You’ll know that you are honoring their wishes and won’t have to wonder if you are making the right decisions.

Shared Custody Holiday Schedule

If you are trying to figure out a shared custody holiday schedule with your ex, it can be an emotional and confrontational process sometimes. Everybody has special traditions that they want to celebrate with their children when it comes to holidays. But when you are sharing custody, there will inevitably be some times when you have to be separated from your kids even though you don’t want to.

There are plenty of options you can take for fairly dividing holidays. Some parents choose to split the day up and have a custody switch during the day. Others divvy up holidays throughout the year based on each parent’s preferences. Others choose to switch off from year to year with their kids. However, even if you aren’t able to celebrate on the day with your kids, you can still have your own celebration with them, even if it’s a few days late. Your children won’t care what day it is, they’ll just be happy to be with you and creating special memories together.

Shared Custody Holiday Schedule: Figuring Out Logistics

Split the Day

One example of a shared custody holiday schedule involves splitting the actual day of important holidays. For example, you could celebrate a Thanksgiving lunch with your children and then drop them off at their other parent’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. Talk about a lot of turkey! This allows both parents to have some time with their kids on the holiday itself. The only drawback is that it can feel like a lot of shuffling around for children, and can be a little overwhelming for little ones.

Divvy Up Holidays

Another potential shared custody holiday schedule involves divvying up holidays throughout the year. This works well if parents each have separate holidays that they are particularly fond of. For example, if one parent is Jewish and the other Christian, it’s easier to work out who will have the children throughout December. If one parent really loves to celebrate Halloween and the other really loves Thanksgiving, you can divvy up those holidays fairly between you. This idea really only works when coparents are able to really compromise together and figure out a system that feels fair to everybody.

Switch Off Years

Others parents choose to celebrate holidays every other year with their children. For example, the children go with one parent this Christmas, and then next year, they switch to the other parent. You can still divvy up the holidays throughout the year so that each parent gets a few that are special to them. But every other year, there will be some sadness if it’s not your year with your children.

Celebrate Separately 

Finally, even if you are dealing with some arguments or don’t really get your way when it comes to your shared custody holiday schedule, you can still make precious memories with your children. Your kids don’t really care what day an actual holiday falls on. So if it’s important to you to celebrate with them, just hold your own celebration when you get them back. Most likely, your kids will be more than happy to celebrate two holidays. Just make sure to remember that the important thing is that you create memories and traditions together, no matter if it’s the actual calendar day of a holiday or not.

Figuring out a shared custody holiday schedule can be a real headache for new coparents. Any sort of custody situation is bound to have some heated moments, but holidays are one that parents get particularly emotional about. And it makes sense because holidays are such an important part of our memories from childhood. You can opt to split up the day itself so that each parent has some time with their children on the actual holiday. However, this can be tiring for younger children, and it can make holidays seem rushed and frantic. You can also divvy up holidays that are of particular importance to each of you throughout the year if you’re able to compromise on things. You can also switch off every other year for holidays too.

It can be hard to be apart from your children, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t still celebrate with them when you have custody again. Even if you aren’t celebrating with your children on the actual day of the holiday, they won’t remember that in the future. All they’ll remember is how much fun you had together.

Tips for Your Adoption Home Study

If you’re planning to adopt, an important part of the process will be your adoption home study. This is when a social worker visits your home and makes sure that’s it’s a safe environment for a child. While a lot of people stress about this process, it’s really just a matter of making sure that your child has a nurturing environment in which to grow up. Do your research so you know what to expect and what’s required in your state. Clean, but don’t go too crazy with things. Try to baby proof your home and prepare a room for your future child. And finally, relax a little bit. Try to remember that your case worker wants this to be successful for you too. Hopefully, your visit will go great and you’ll be one step closer to growing your family.

Tips for Your Adoption Home Study: Don’t Stress Too Much

Research

Before your adoption home study, it can help to do some research. Each state has certain requirements for homes. For example, there might be requirements about the room size for your future child, and they might need things like windows in the room. Know what your agent will be looking for up front so you can make sure that your home meets the standards.

Clean, But Don’t Go Crazy

It’s helpful to clean ahead of your adoption home study. However, it’s not necessary to go totally crazy with the cleaning. You just want to present a pleasant and welcoming environment. Try to clean as if you were having company over, because after all, that’s what this visit is. A chance for your case worker to get to know you a little better.

Baby Proof

Another great thing to do ahead of your adoption home study is baby proofing. You can cover up electrical outlets if you’re expecting to welcome a baby or toddler. For any child, make sure that if you have a pool that it’s properly fenced off. If you have pets that can be aggressive, begin thinking of alternative plans for where they might live. Make sure all windows are operable, and remove any hazards from the home.

Relax

Finally, relax. Try to remember that your adoption home study is just a chance for your case worker to get to know a little bit more about your family and your home. They are on your side and want every child to go to a loving home. They aren’t looking for reasons to ding you out of the program. Be polite and open with them. Try to remember that they just want what’s best for every child.

Your adoption home study is an exciting step in the adoption process. But it’s one that a lot of parents can get a little bit stressed about. Try to relax and remember that this isn’t a chance for somebody to criticize every aspect of your home. Rather, it’s a chance for them to let you know if there are any things that you need to address before a child arrives. Do a little research on what is necessary in your area, and make changes accordingly. Clean up the home so that’s it’s tidy and welcoming. Try to go ahead and prepare a room for your future child, and plan to baby proof if they are young. Finally, relax. As long as you plan to welcome your future child into a safe and nurturing environment, your home study will go just fine!

How to Dress Appropriately for Court

Making sure to dress appropriately for court can help you make the best first impression possible in front of a judge. If you are going to court for a divorce proceeding, you want to ensure that you are looking and behaving appropriately and in a way that shows respect to the judge. This means opting for conservative clothing and hairstyles for both men and women. Additionally, it’s important to follow the rules of the court room and always be respectful of the judges and attorneys. For example, never interrupt, address the judge appropriately, and avoid distracting behavior. Hopefully, by dressing the part, you can have a more favorable outcome for your court decision.

How to Dress Appropriately for Court: Making the Best Impression

Clothing

If you’re wanting to dress appropriately for court, keep in mind that conservative and professional is usually best. You want to make sure that you are wearing clothing that is clean and wrinkle-free. Avoid tight fitting outfits, revealing shirts, or anything too casual. For example, for men, slacks and a button down shirt is appropriate with closed toe shoes. For women, slacks and a shirt, or a professional dress is appropriate. Avoid flip-flips and t-shirts. While it’s fine to have your own sense of style outside court, when you’re in the courtroom, it’s best to forgone fashion in favor of a more traditional outfit.

Hair

In order to dress appropriately for court, you’ll also need to make sure that your hair and accessories are professional. For example, a low bun, pony tail, or styled hair for women, and a clean and neat hairstyle for men. Avoid outlandish facial hair styles, dyed hair, or lots of piercings. Cover up tattoos when able to, and try to ensure that you are clean and put-together at all times. 

Behavior

Besides needing to dress appropriately for court, you’ll also need to behave in a way that is respectful to the rest of the court members and judge. For example, ask your attorney what the appropriate way to address the judge is. Additionally, avoid things like chewing gum, talking on the phone, or otherwise distracting behavior. Never interrupt your attorney or the judge when speaking, and answer questions directly. 

The Bottom Line

Showing up for court can be intimidating, and while it shouldn’t necessarily matter what you look like, showing an effort with your clothes and styling can go a long way in making a good first impression. Save your funky sense of style for another venue and instead opt for professional, conservative clothing while in court. Try to behave in a way that is respectful of the court and court members, and make sure to arrive on time and with everything you need in tow. If you have questions about how to behave or dress, ask your attorney for guidance.

The courtroom is a very prim and proper place, and calls for a respectful appearance and behavior. If you need to dress appropriately for court, you’ll need to keep in mind that this is not the place for outlandish, daring outfits. Your sense of style does not matter nearly as much as your behavior. So forgo the loud outfits, funky hair, or chunky jewelry and opt for outfits that are more traditional and conservative. In terms of behavior, always be respectful of the judge, attorneys, and other members of the court. Avoid distracting behaviors like chewing gum, talking on the phone, or interrupting. Pay attention when anybody is speaking, and make sure to address the judge in a respectful way. Hopefully, you and your attorney can go through what is expected of you beforehand so that you can arrive and put your best foot forward for your court appearance.

Divorce with a Special Needs Child

Divorce with a special needs child can be more complicated than a typical divorce settlement because your child might need a specialized plan when it comes to things like custody agreements, support payments, or splitting up assets. It’s important to know that legal custody and physical custody are very different things, and that your child’s plan of care might impact these things greatly.

You might also work out child support payments that last longer than the typical eighteen years depending on your child’s needs. It’s important to find extra support during this time in order to help your child with the transitions that they will be facing and with helping you navigate a very stressful time. Enlisting the help of an experienced divorce attorney will make the process much smoother and will increase your chances of getting the outcome that you want from the divorce settlement. Hopefully, you, your spouse, and child can also adapt to the changes coming and begin working on a smooth co-parenting transition.

Divorce with a Special Needs Child: Things to Consider

Legal Custody

When going through a divorce with a special needs child, or with any child, it’s important to know the difference between legal and physical custody. A parent with legal custody will be able to make all decisions for the child when it comes to things like medical needs, education, or legal questions. A parent with physical custody is the one with whom the child lives. Parents can share legal and physical custody, or can only share one or the other. It’s possible for a parent to share legal custody when it comes to decision-making, but the child lives full time with the other parent.

Physical Custody

When figuring out physical custody during a divorce with a special needs child, things can be more intricate than typical divorce proceedings. This is because your child might require specialized medical equipment in the home or car, specialized education, or need to be within a certain location to be near to medical appointments. Parents will have to consider what is in the best interest of the child, just as the judge will. Some of these decisions might depend on the parent’s budget for medical equipment, or the child’s specific care plan.

Support Payments

Support payments can also look a little different in a divorce with a special needs child. Typical child support payments end when the child turns eighteen and legally becomes an adult. However, a child with special needs might need to continue living at home or might continue to need financial assistance well into adulthood. Because of this, child support might last much longer than the typical eighteen years, depending on their needs. 

Finding Support

When going through divorce of any kind, the process is incredibly stressful and very difficult on both parents and children. It’s important to make sure that you have support in place to help you through this transitional time. Enlist the help of a qualified mental health counselor for yourself, and look into supplementing your child’s care plan with additional resources to help them with this transition. It’s also absolutely imperative that you hire an experienced and knowledgeable divorce attorney to help you navigate the divorce process to ensure that you get the settlement you and your child deserve. 

Divorce is difficult on everybody, but going through divorce with a special needs child can bring up even more intricacies and complications to an already confusing process. It’s important to enlist help from an experienced attorney as soon as you believe that the divorce is actually happening. When looking for an attorney, make sure to ask about their experience when it comes to legal cases similar to yours.

You might be facing more intricacies when it comes to legal and physical custody since your child has specialized needs. This might impact which parent’s house they live at, how often they can visit the other parent, or what kind of equipment will need to go with them through custody transitions. Child support payments might also last longer than the typical eighteen years if your child will have ongoing financial needs as an adult. It’s important to find emotional support for yourself and your child as you go through this tricky time. Enlist the help of a mental health professional, and consider adding some extra support to the list of care providers for your child as well. Hopefully, your whole family can move smoothly through this process and end up with the divorce settlement that will most benefit your child.

Dealing with Grief During a Divorce

Dealing with grief during a divorce can be a long process. Everybody experiences divorce differently. You likely will go through many stages with your grief, and they might each take different lengths of time. Don’t compare your journey to anybody else’s. Instead, try to work on healthily dealing with your emotions. Try to accept your divorce and permit yourself to feel your feelings. Surround yourself with supportive family and friends. Take plenty of time for self-care and make yourself a priority. And finally, be patient. This process can take a long time. But rest assured, someday you will feel at peace with your divorce. And then you’ll be able to move on to the next chapter of your life.

Dealing with Grief During a Divorce: Channeling Emotions in a Healthy Way

Try to Accept the Divorce

It’s important to accept reality when dealing with grief during a divorce. Often, the denial stage of grief can take a long time. But denying the reality won’t change the situation. Try to take some time to address the fact that your marriage is ending. Only after you accept that it’s over can you begin to move forward.

Surround Yourself with Supportive People

An important part of dealing with grief during a divorce is surrounding yourself with supportive family and friends. Try to reach out to people that understand what you’re going through and who will help you in productive ways. For example, helping you find new interests instead of just trash-talking your ex.

Take Time for Self-Care

Don’t forget to take some time for self-care when handling the grief during a divorce. Especially if you are feeling very stressed by the divorce process. Take a few moments to meditate, breathe deeply, or calm your mind. Try to find some new activities or hobbies that interest you. Another important part of self-care is getting the help you need if you are struggling. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a professional therapist if you feel like you are struggling.

Be Patient

Finally, when dealing with grief during a divorce, be patient. This process takes a long time. And it takes different amounts of time for everybody. Don’t compare yourself to other people you know who have gotten divorced. Their situation might have been very different from your own. Let it take as long as it needs to take. Just trust yourself and the fact that someday, you will be able to move forward.

Tackling grief during a divorce can be a long and difficult process. It’s important to first accept the reality of the situation so that you can begin to move forward. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that your marriage is over, but denying it won’t change the situation. Surround yourself with supportive family and friends who will help you find new hobbies or even help you when you’re ready to start dating again. Take plenty of time for self-care, including mental self-care. And finally, give yourself some grace. Be patient and know that this process can take a while. However, someday you will be able to move forward knowing that you made the right decision. Hopefully, you’ll be able to move on to an exciting new part of your life and maybe even meet somebody new to share it with.

Types of Therapy for Depression and Anxiety

If you are seeking help for depression and anxiety, there are many different types of therapy available. Sometimes, it can take some trial and error to find the right therapist and type of therapy to suit your personality and needs. Be patient, and continue looking if the fit isn’t right.

You might consider cognitive behavioral therapy, which is the most common type of talk therapy. Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy can help you address traumatic events from the past and learn to cope with them in a more healthy way. Art therapy can help you express yourself without using words, and can help you identify underlying feelings and emotions. And finally, animal therapy can allow you to cope with stress and feel the self-confidence that comes with taking care of another living creature. Hopefully, you can try different forms of therapy and find the right fit for you.

Types of Therapy for Depression and Anxiety That Can Be Helpful

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, is the most common of the types of therapy. It involves mostly just talking with a mental health professional about your experiences and emotions. Through your interactions, they’ll help you identify stress triggers in your life and learn healthy coping strategies for them. The goal of CBT is to identify negative thoughts and mind-sets, and challenge them and correct them into more healthy and realistic views.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy 

Another of the types of therapy that is getting more and more common is eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy, or EMDR. This was originally used for veterans experiencing PTSD, but is now used to address traumatic events of any degree. The idea behind EMDR is that when your body is experiencing emotional trauma, your brain doesn’t process the memories correctly. Therefore, they can continue to haunt you and cause anxiety for many years. EMDR aims to reprocess these memories by engaging both sides of your brain while you discuss the traumatic event by having you follow a moving light or object with your eyes. 

Art Therapy

Art therapy can be a fun way to explore your more creative side. This type of therapy allows you to explore your subconscious emotions by examining your artwork. This might include painting, drawing, sculpture, or other forms of art. A trained professional can help you identify emotional undertones, symbolism, and nonverbal messages within your artwork. You can also practice things like journaling at home to help you identify patterns in your thinking or gain more perspective on a situation. 

Animal Therapy 

Finally, one last examples of different types of therapy is animal assisted therapy, or AAT. This can involve petting, holding, or caring for a support animal like a dog, cat, bunny, or horse. The animals are trained, and you typically are guided through this therapy with a counselor. Interacting with animals can reduce blood pressure, release feel-good endorphins, and take away stress. Additionally, caring for another living creature can help you gain self-confidence.

There are many different types of therapy available for a number of mental health issues. It’s important to look around until you find the therapist and therapy that works best for you. Don’t hesitate to reach out to another counselor if the fit just doesn’t feel right. You need to feel comfortable with the person you are working with, and have confidence that they’ll help you get to a better mental space. You might consider CBT, or talk therapy to help identify and work through negative perceptions. You might also consider EMDR if you are dealing with traumatic situations from the past.

Art therapy can be a creative way to express yourself non-verbally and can reveal things you might not actually realize about yourself. And finally, animal therapy can be a soothing way to rebuild self-confidence and tackle stress. Hopefully, you can try a few different types of therapy and professionals to find the best fit for your needs.

Handling Divorce Stress: Breathing Exercises

Breathing exercises can help you reduce your stress and practice mindfulness, especially if you are going through something stressful like a divorce. You can do these exercises whenever you have a few moments of free time to help you mentally focus. And you can use them if you’re feeling particularly anxious. The idea is to focus solely on just your breathing and let your mind clear for a few moments. There are tons of techniques you can use, but 4-7-8 breathing is one of the most popular. You can also try breathing through alternating nostrils, or lying down and trying diaphragmatic breathing. Finally, the lion’s breath technique is also a good one to try if you are feeling particularly frazzled. Hopefully, you can use these exercises to calm down your nervous system and give yourself some time to clear your head.

Handling Divorce Stress: Breathing Exercises to Calm You Down

4-7-8

4-7-8 breathing is one of the most popular and widely recommended breathing exercises for stress. To do this, sit comfortably and touch your tongue to the back of your upper teeth. Then exhale all of your air in a whooshing sound. Inhale while you count to four. Then hold your breath for 7 counts. Then, exhale slowly with a whooshing sound for 8 counts. You should keep your tongue in the same position for the duration of the exercise. Repeat 3 more times.

Nostril Switch

Another of the easy breathing exercises that you can practice whenever you have a free moment is the alternating nostril switch. To do this, cover your right nostril and breathe in through your left nostril. Then, cover your left nostril and breathe out through the right. Breathe back in through the right and cover it. Breathe out through the left nostril. Breathe back in through the left nostril and cover it. Repeat this pattern for about five minutes or until you feel calmer.

Diaphragmatic Breathing

Some breathing exercises can do more than just battle stress. Diaphragmatic breathing can help you with lung health and blood pressure in addition to calming your nervous system. Lay comfortable on your back with a pillow under your head and knees bent. Lay one hand on your upper chest and the other below your rib cage. Inhale through your nose and feel your stomach press against your hand. Then exhale through pursed lips as you tighten your abdominal muscles. Keep your upper hand perfectly still. Repeat for five minutes several times a day. 

Lions’ Breath

Finally, one last exercise you can try is the lion’s breath technique. It’s an energizing yoga practice that can help release tension in your body. Sit comfortably with your hands on your knees. Inhale deeply through your nose and then open your eyes wide. Open your mouth as widely as you can and stick your tongue out and down as if touching your tongue to your chin. Exhale strongly through your mouth making a deep “haaaa” sound from your belly. As you do this, look up as if looking at the space between your eyebrows. Repeat two or three times.

Deep breathing exercises can be hugely beneficial if you are dealing with divorce stress or anxiety from any situation. And not only that, but some of the techniques can also improve your pulmonary or cardiovascular health as well. It’s important to find the practices that work for you if you are experiencing stress. In addition to deep breathing, you might consider things like journaling, yoga, affirmation, meditation, or speaking with a therapist. You can do deep breathing when you have a few moments throughout your day or when you’re feeling particularly anxious or tense. The main focus is simply to clear your mind of stress and focus it solely on your breathing instead. At least for a little while. Even just a short break like this can help you body and mind to begin to relax a bit. Hopefully, you can find the techniques that work best for you so that you can fight divorce stress and improve your mental health.