Author: Robert Reeves

Divorce Stress: Calming Techniques for Children

There are several calming techniques for children that you can use if your child is experiencing anxiety about your divorce. Or anxiety about anything else for that matter. Children can feel stressed out just like adults, but they often don’t know how to respond to deal with this stress. Parents can help by providing easy techniques for them to use to calm down, and practicing these with them so that they can perform them on their own when needed. Practice makes perfect! There are breathing techniques that can force the nervous system to calm down like snail roller coaster or hot cocoa breathing. They can also try something that forces their mind onto something else, like the name five things challenge. Finally, if they are having difficult sleeping, giving them something soothing like the imaginary castle game which can help put their mind at ease. Hopefully, you can practice these ideas with your child so that they can use them on their own whenever they feel anxious.

Divorce Stress: Calming Techniques for Children Who are Experiencing Anxiety

Snail Roller Coaster

Breathing exercises are some of the most helpful calming techniques for children who are experiencing any sort of acute stress or anxiety. Especially children who are prone to things like panic attacks or have difficulty controlling strong emotions. In the heat of the moment, using the snail roller coaster can help your child calm down. To do this, have them hold one hand out upright in front of them with fingers spread, like they’re about to face palm. Then, using the index finger of their other hand, pretend the finger is a snail riding a roller coaster that traces along their fingers going up and down between the fingers. At each hill, they should breathe in, and when the coaster goes downhill breathe out. 

Hot Cocoa Breathing

Another great thing you can add to the arsenal of calming techniques for children is hot cocoa breathing. To do this, have your child pretend that they’re holding a cup of hot chocolate. First, have them “stir the cup,” and then breathe in the smell of their cocoa taking a deep breath through their nose. Then, have them “cool down” the cocoa by breathing out cool air with their mouth shaped like it’s around a straw. Have them breathe in the cocoa and cool it down several times.

Name Five Things

Breathing exercises can help force your body’s sympathetic nervous system to calm down when you are feeling emotional. However, another helpful one of the calming techniques for children going through divorce is distraction. Sometimes, it’s helpful to force your mind to think of other things. Have your child hold out their hand and count on their fingers. For each finger, have them name something that they can hear, then taste, smell, feel, and see. 

Imaginary Castle

Finally, if your child is having difficulty sleeping because of divorce stress, there are some great techniques they can use for calming down before bed. One of these is to practice deep breathing or relaxing the muscles throughout their body. They can also “build” an imaginary empty castle in their mind. Have them go through and decide what each room in the castle looks like, what kind of furniture it has, what it smells like, and fill in as many details about their castle as possible. Hopefully, this can help your child get their mind off of something stressful and put it towards something soothing instead.

Divorce is stressful for everybody, and children feel that anxiety just as much as adults do. If your child is experiencing symptoms of anxiety or stress, finding them age-appropriate support is important. For example, books they can read, a peer counselor to talk to, or a childhood therapist. You can also employ many calming technique for children that they can use. Just make sure to practice them with your child when they aren’t stressed so that they know how to do them when the time comes. You can try breathing techniques like snail roller coaster or hot cocoa breathing. Or you can have them do something distracting like thinking of things around them that they can sense with the sight, smell, taste, hearing, and feel. Finally, help them fall asleep by encouraging them to imagine calming things like a castle that they can build in their mind. Hopefully, by employing some of these techniques, you can help your child navigate the emotional and stressful process of divorce.

Recovering Financially from the Holidays

Recovering financially from the holidays can take some time. From gifts, to going out with friends, or hosting parties, the holidays can be extremely expensive. And even if you planned out a budget, it’s easy to go a little overboard. It’s helpful to look back at your overall spending to get an idea of how you need to adjust your budget for next year’s holidays. Create a budget based on the money you have coming in and going out each month and stick to it. Finally, fix unhealthy spending habits and start focusing on things like paying off debt and reining in spending. Hopefully, you can reset and start focusing on saving so that next year’s holidays don’t put such a large dent in your wallet.

Recovering Financially from the Holidays: Getting Back on Budget

Look at the Overall Spending

One thing that can be extremely helpful when recovering financially from the holidays is looking at your overall spending. Make a list of how much you spent on things like gifts, cooking, hosting any events, holiday activities, decorations, and traveling expenses. Getting organized and figuring out exactly how much you spent can help you with creating a more realistic budget for next year.

Make Changes for Next Year 

Recovering financially from the holidays also means making a plan to not take such a financial hit next year. Once you see how much you spent on everything this year, go ahead and make yourself a budget for next year. Take that number and divide it by however many months between now and when you need the money again (usually November so that you can begin purchasing gifts). That will give you an idea of how much you need to set aside each month so that you have all of the money already saved by the time the holidays roll around again. You can also divide it up by paychecks between now and then.

Create a Budget

Figuring out your finances in genera is easier if you have a budget. To create one, begin by taking a look at all of the money you make each month. This can include revenue from any side gigs, your job, stocks, or any other money you have coming in. Then, look at the amount of money you typically spend in a month. Look at things like rent, utilities, restaurants, groceries, hanging out with friends, and childcare fees. Don’t forget those pesky subscription services either. Then, create a budget so that each dollar you make is assigned a job, whether that’s paying for some of your expenses, paying off debt, or going to savings.

Fix Bad Habits

Finally, recovering financially from the holidays means fixing some of those bad habits that are too easy to fall into when you are on vacation-mode. For example, ordering takeout or heading to restaurants for most meals. Make a grocery list and try to fix meals at home as much as possible. Additionally, try to rein in spending on frivolous things that you don’t need. Consider selling items that you no longer use, and shop second-hand whenever possible. Cut out as many expenses as possible, and make sure to stay on-time with payments. 

As we move through December and into January, everybody needs help recovering financially from the holidays. If you’re feeling like there’s a big hole in your pocket from all of the recent spending, you aren’t alone. Getting back into a routine and focusing on healthy spending habits can help you recover some and build back your savings. First, organize yourself and take a look at your overall spending for the season. Then, take that number and divide by however many months until next holidays, and start setting aside a little money each month. That way, the holidays won’t be such a hit to your bank account. Create a budget based on your monthly income and expenses, and try to stick to it as much as you can. Finally, start focusing on healthy money habits like cutting out extraneous expenses, eating at home more, and cutting out any subscriptions you don’t use. Hopefully, by preparing a little for next year, you’ll avoid getting behind with money when the holidays roll around again.

Dealing with Family Conflict Over the Holidays

Dealing with family conflict over the holidays is never fun. And with an election just barely over this year, things might be more intense than usual. If you anticipate that you might be dealing with some arguments or heated discussions with your family, prepare yourself mentally ahead of time. Try to avoid polarizing topics, and set boundaries about what you will and will not be discussing. Stay calm if things start to become combative by trying to regulate your tone and body language. Deep breathing or taking a short break can help you calm down when needed. Pivot the conversation to something less controversial, and have some topics in mind just in case. Finally, if you need to, walk away from a conflict. Or, if you feel that your family will not be respectful of your boundaries, it’s okay to set limits on how much time you spend with certain people. Taking care of your mental health and enjoying the holidays are the most important things.

Dealing with Family Conflict Over the Holidays: Keep the Peace

Avoid Polarizing Topics

Dealing with family conflict tends to become more of an issue if your family is prone to discussing polarizing topics. For example, things like parenting, politics, or religion. If you feel like your loved ones will probably want to discuss something like this with you, you can set a boundary early on. Simply say that you aren’t going to be engaging in political conversations. If they don’t respect that boundary, you can choose to walk away.

Stay Calm and Take Breaks

It’s also important to regulate your body when dealing with family conflict. Keeping your posture neutral can be helpful, so avoid standing with arms aggressively folded, pointing, or using dramatic hand motions. Try to keep your voice calm, even, and in a moderate volume. Even when you get angry. Often, the louder we are, the less people actually hear. Finally, try to practice deep breathing and relaxing your muscles if you are feeling tense to help calm your sympathetic nervous system down..

Pivot the Conversation

It’s always helpful to keep a few safe topics in your back pocket in case your family is intent on turning things into an argument. Come prepared with some things to talk about that don’t involve controversial topics. For example, plans for New Year’s, any upcoming trips, or how your children are doing in school. 

Walk Away

Finally, if you’re dealing with family conflict over the holidays, sometimes you just have to walk away. Especially if your loved ones aren’t being respectful of you or your boundaries. Often, people feel obligated to see family over the holidays, even to the detriment of their mental wellbeing. If you feel like you need to take some time apart from family, it’s okay to prioritize your mental health. You can always come back next year, or go for a visit another time.

Dealing with family conflict over the holidays is likely something that a lot of people are going to be experiencing in the coming weeks. Especially in the wake of an intense political situation in our country. If you suspect that your family will be trying to pull you into disagreements or political conversations that you don’t want to be having, it’s best to go into events with a game plan. You can set boundaries up front about topics you aren’t willing to engage in. Setting boundaries I doesn’t mean that you are trying to control other people’s behavior, it just means that you are deciding what you are and aren’t willing to engage with. Try to keep things neutral by paying attention to your body language, tone of voice, and breathing. If you feel like you are getting overheated, take a short break and practice deep breathing exercises to calm down. Come prepared with some topics to pivot to if things start to get controversial. And finally, don’t feel guilty about walking away from certain events, or avoiding them altogether. You can always reconnect with your family later, but if you need to take some space for your mental health, do it. You deserve to have the holiday season you want free from any conflict or awkward conversations.

Telltale Signs of a Cheating Spouse

While we’d all like to think that there are telltale signs of a cheating spouse, the truth is that you often have to look at the entire pattern of your partner’s behavior to see if the signs are pointing to an affair. There isn’t always one specific tell. Instead, you might notice a change in their demeanor, in your relationship, sex life, their appearance, schedule, and many other factors that can give you clues to look a little deeper. However, there are some warning signs that you should take seriously. For example, if they are suddenly becoming very secretive around devices and no longer giving you their passwords, it might be a red flag. Additionally, if you catch them in a lie multiple times, there is usually a reason for the deception. Finally, if there are unexplained expenses, it might be that they are spending money on somebody else. If you notice any of these behaviors, it’s worth digging a little deeper. You can choose to confront your spouse directly, or wait to see if other warning signs pop up.

Telltale Signs of a Cheating Spouse: What to Look Out For 

A Word of Warning

Even though the following behaviors are potential indicators of an affair, there are no truly telltale signs of a cheating spouse. Instead, you have to look at the overall pattern of their behavior. If things are going smoothly and then out of the blue you start noticing a lot of changes happening, it might be an indication of cheating. But it could also be an indication of other things like work stress. So before you go ringing divorce bells, it’s important to follow up your observations with a frank conversation with your partner to get to the bottom of the new behaviors.

Secrecy Around Devices

One of the potential telltale signs of a cheating spouse is a sudden secrecy around their devices. If you and your partner usually have an open-device relationship, but they suddenly are hiding their phone away or making sure you can’t see the screen, it could definitely be a red flag. Similarly, if they usually keep their phone unlocked but suddenly have a passcode that they don’t share with you, it might be a sign that they’re communicating with somebody they shouldn’t be.

You Catch Them in a Lie 

Another of the telltale signs of a cheating spouse is if you catch them in a lie. Especially if the lie involves where they are or who they’re with. Partners should be honest with one another, and unless it’s your birthday and they’re out buying a gift, there shouldn’t be a reason to lie about where you are to your spouse. If you catch them in a direct lie, it’s definitely worth following up with a conversation.

Unexplainable Expenses

Finally, unexplainable expenses can also sometimes be a warning sign of an affair. Often, when people are newly dating, or trying to woo somebody, they’ll spend money lavishly. It might be on things like jewelry, dinners, or gifts. But it could also be on things like hotel rooms. If you are finding that your finances are taking a sudden hit and you can’t find the explanation, it might be worth asking your spouse if there’s anything they need to come clean about.

While there are no specific telltale signs of a cheating spouse, there are some definite warning signs to look out for. However, it’s important to remember that no one specific item should make you convinced that they are cheating if it’s unusual behavior for them. There could always be a reasonable explanation for some of these things. However, if you are noticing a pattern of behaviors like these, it might be an indication that something is going on. For example, if you notice that they are suddenly secretive about their phone or laptop, when they used to be open and casual about it. Furthermore, if you catch them in a lie, it’s worth digging a little deeper. And finally, if there are a lot of unexplainable expenses and your partner doesn’t have a good explanation for where the money is going, it could be a warning sign of an affair. Hopefully, if you notice any of these indicators, you can have a conversation with your spouse and clear everything up. But it’s definitely worth having the talk to ensure that you aren’t being lied to.

Normal Conflict in a Marriage

Many couples wonder what is considered normal conflict in a marriage. Of course, everybody has disagreements from time to time. But knowing how to resolve any sort of conflicts in a healthy and productive way that maintains mutual respect will prevent cracks from forming in your relationship. If your arguments tend to devolve into aggressive, disrespect, or otherwise toxic behaviors, it might be a red flag that your relationship could use some help. And if fighting is becoming the norm or is impacting your happiness or other relationships, it might be time to dig a little deeper. If you feel that you and your partner need some help when it comes to healthy conflict, speaking with a marriage counselor can be incredibly helpful. Even individual therapy can also provide some insights that can be helpful. Hopefully, you and your partner can get the support you need so that you can move towards more peaceful conflict resolution.

Normal Conflict in a Marriage: Looking Out for Toxic Behavior

Frequency

It’s normal to wonder about other people’s relationships, especially since we almost never get to look behind the closed doors of another couple. Normal conflict in a marriage is a healthy thing, and something that even the strongest marriages face. But arguments should not be your day-to-day relationship status. If it feels like you’re fighting more than you’re not, it might be time to get some help. It’s normal to have some disagreements, but they shouldn’t be impacting things like your overall happiness, your career, or other interpersonal relationships. 

Aggression

Another thing that is not a part of normal conflict in a marriage is aggression. And this doesn’t have to mean physical aggression. Using threats, withholding sex, screaming at one another, cursing – all of these can be part of a very toxic relationship dynamic. And of course, if a partner ever is physical, intimate partner violence is a very serious issue. If you are dealing with any kind of abuse, whether physical or emotional, seek out support. 

Keeping Respect

It’s important that even in the midst of conflict, that you and your partner always maintain mutual respect for one another. During a fight, this means keeping a neutral body position, keeping a normal tone of voice, using non-insulting language. It also means actively listening to your partner when they talk, instead of just waiting for them to finish so you can speak. Try to get into your spouse’s mind and think about their perspective on things. Even when you are in a conflict, you can still remain calm and collected.

Healthier Conflict

If you feel that you and your spouse are a bit outside the range of what’s considered normal conflict in a marriage, seek out some counseling. A marriage counselor can be hugely beneficial, as long as you both are contributing equal effort and being honest. They can help you get some perspective on arguments, or help you try to see one another’s point of view. Even individual therapy can be helpful as well if your partner is not willing to attend a couples session. If your spouse isn’t willing to work on the conflict issue, or continues to promise change that doesn’t happen, you might have to take a hard look at whether or not you want to continue in the marriage. 

Normal conflict in a marriage is a somewhat ambiguous phrase, and there’s really no one-size-fits-all way to measure what is or isn’t “normal.” However, you and your spouse know what the dynamic is of your relationship, and if things feel unhealthy, then there’s probably a reason. Conflict and disagreements are a normal part of any relationship, but if conflict is becoming the norm in your household, it might be time to really look into your relationship dynamic. Your conflicts should never involve aggression or physical abuse. Additionally, you and your partner should try to always maintain mutual respect for one another by avoiding things like screaming or name-calling. If you feel that your conflict isn’t very productive or healthy, or it’s causing issues outside of your marriage, seeking out a counselor could be very beneficial. Marriage counseling isn’t something just for couples in crisis. Even the healthiest marriages can benefit fro

Starting the Adoption Process

Starting the adoption process can be extremely overwhelming for many families. Especially if you have been waiting a very long time to grow your family. The first step is to educate yourself about the adoption process itself, what it’s like to parent an adoptive child, and the costs of different types of adoption. Finances will be an important factor to consider when choosing what type of agency or adoption to look at. Then, you’ll need to look at your options and decide who you’d want to work with for the process. Speaking with other adoptive parents can be hugely beneficial, as this process can come with its own challenges. Hopefully, you’ll get the information that you need to help you make a decision and grow your family the way that works best for you.

Starting the Adoption Process: What to Know

Educate Yourself

The first step in starting the adoption process is to educate yourself. Adopting a child is a big undertaking, and there are a lot of factors to consider. You’ll need to figure out what type of adoption feels like a good fit, and think hard about what you are looking for in a potential match. Consider if you are open to adopting a special needs child, an older child, a child of a different race, or siblings. If you have a partner, you both need to equally be on board with this choice because you’ll need to rely on one another when things feel stressful or when you feel overwhelmed. 

Consider Finances

One of the most important factors when starting the adoption process is to look into the costs of different types of adoption. There are a few options available. For example, there is private domestic adoption, adoption from foster care, and international adoption. Each have different financial requirements and concerns. For example, if you are doing an international adoption, you’ll need to factor in traveling expenses to meet your child as well as the costs of the agency.

Look Into Private Companies and Agencies

Connecting with the right agency is an important step of the process. There are agencies that will help adoptive parents match with a birth mother who is choosing an adoptive plan who will be a good fit. There are also private and public agencies that work with the foster care system and Department of Social Services to help foster children find adoptive parents. And international adoption agencies will help you begin the process of considering a non-domestic adoption. Once you choose which agency you want to work with, they will guide you through their specific requirements and process.

Talk to Other Adoptive Parents

One thing that is incredibly important when starting the adoption process is to speak with others who have been through it before. There will be hoops to jump through, like immense amounts of paperwork, home studies, or even classes required in some instances. And even after the stress of the adoption process, it can also been challenging to bring a new child into your family. Especially if they are older, have special needs, or you have other children and you are blending your family. You’ll need to gather a support system around you and making connections with other adoptive parents is a great place to start.

Starting the adoption process is an exciting step towards building your family. But it can also be a scary one. Adoption is a complicated process that can take a very long time, a lot of perseverance, and also substantial funds. You’ll need to educate yourself on the different types of adoption available to you, from domestic private adoption to foster care adoption or international adoption. Each of these processes are different, have different requirements, different timelines, and different financial obligations. When you do choose an agency, they will begin the process of screening you as a potential parent and finding a match that will work well with your family. It’s very helpful to start connecting with other adoptive parents because this process can be daunting at times. And welcoming a new child into your family, whether through adoption or not, is a huge undertaking. New parents always need a support network around them, so begin building yours as soon as possible. Hopefully, you’ll be able to navigate thi

Preparing for the Death of a Parent

Preparing for the death of a parent is a difficult thing to even think about. However, as parents age, it’s important to discuss with them what they want for their end of life care. It’s best to discuss things like estate planning or legal decisions while they are still healthy and in full control of their faculties. It’s also important to be proactive about your mental health. Gather your support system around you, and begin speaking with a mental health professional and getting into healthy routines. Discuss estate planning with your parents so they can decide how they want their assets and possessions to be handled after death. And finally, discuss things like end of life care so that you know you are following their wishes when it comes to their medical treatment. This is a painful topic to think about, and it can be emotional for families to discuss. However, it can help relieve stress in the end because you will feel confident that you are honoring your parent’s wishes.

Preparing for the Death of a Parent: A Difficult Time

Be Proactive About Mental Health

When preparing for the death of a parent, it’s important to be proactive about your mental health. This will be an incredible difficult time for you, your spouse, children, and your other living parent if you have one. It’s a good idea to find a therapist or mental health professional to speak to about your concerns ahead of time. That way, they can help you prepare mentally and can help guide you through this difficult time. Get into a healthy routine of exercise, getting sleep, and eating a balanced diet so that your body is able to face the stresses of grief. 

Gather Your Support System

It’s also helpful to begin gathering your support system early when preparing for the death of a parent. Let close friends or family know what is happening, and let them know how they can be helpful. People don’t always know exactly how to respond in situations like this, so offering them some ideas of what can be supportive will help. For example, you might ask that they prepare meals or provide childcare while you tend to your parent.

Estate Planning

While it can be awkward to discuss, it is important to consider estate planning if you’re preparing for the death of a parent. If they are still in control of their mental faculties, they’ll need to consider how they want their assets and possessions handled after death. If they have a living spouse, it’s something they should discuss together so that the spouse knows what their wishes are for when they eventually pass too. Hiring an experienced estate attorney can help you navigate decisions like passing down property, assets, and possessions.

End of Life Decisions

Finally, you’ll also need to discuss end of life decisions if possible. There are many questions to be asked when it comes to end of life care. For example, do they want CPR or resuscitation? Do they want a feeding tube or ventilator? Who do they want making medical decisions on their behalf? Having an idea of what they prefer can give you peace of mind that you are honoring their wishes. They might also have preferences when it comes to funeral arrangements or burial vs cremation. While it’s painful and uncomfortable to discuss, these are important decisions that they might have strong feelings about, so it’s best to hear it straight from them if possible.

There is nothing that can alleviate the pain of preparing for the death of a parent. But getting as many things in order before it happens can help you deal with the logistical side of things early so that you can focus on your emotional wellbeing when the time comes. Be proactive about mental health care for yourself and family by finding a therapist or counselor to talk to. Gather your support system and let them know what kind of things will help in the upcoming weeks. If possible, have your parent discuss their estate planning decisions with you and their living spouse if applicable. They’ll also need to decide on end of life decisions like who they want in charge of their medical care, and what kinds of treatments they prefer. While it’s uncomfortable to think about, and definitely painful to discuss, having these conversations can actually make things less stressful when they pass away. You’ll know that you are honoring their wishes and won’t have to wonder if you are making the right decisions.

Shared Custody Holiday Schedule

If you are trying to figure out a shared custody holiday schedule with your ex, it can be an emotional and confrontational process sometimes. Everybody has special traditions that they want to celebrate with their children when it comes to holidays. But when you are sharing custody, there will inevitably be some times when you have to be separated from your kids even though you don’t want to.

There are plenty of options you can take for fairly dividing holidays. Some parents choose to split the day up and have a custody switch during the day. Others divvy up holidays throughout the year based on each parent’s preferences. Others choose to switch off from year to year with their kids. However, even if you aren’t able to celebrate on the day with your kids, you can still have your own celebration with them, even if it’s a few days late. Your children won’t care what day it is, they’ll just be happy to be with you and creating special memories together.

Shared Custody Holiday Schedule: Figuring Out Logistics

Split the Day

One example of a shared custody holiday schedule involves splitting the actual day of important holidays. For example, you could celebrate a Thanksgiving lunch with your children and then drop them off at their other parent’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. Talk about a lot of turkey! This allows both parents to have some time with their kids on the holiday itself. The only drawback is that it can feel like a lot of shuffling around for children, and can be a little overwhelming for little ones.

Divvy Up Holidays

Another potential shared custody holiday schedule involves divvying up holidays throughout the year. This works well if parents each have separate holidays that they are particularly fond of. For example, if one parent is Jewish and the other Christian, it’s easier to work out who will have the children throughout December. If one parent really loves to celebrate Halloween and the other really loves Thanksgiving, you can divvy up those holidays fairly between you. This idea really only works when coparents are able to really compromise together and figure out a system that feels fair to everybody.

Switch Off Years

Others parents choose to celebrate holidays every other year with their children. For example, the children go with one parent this Christmas, and then next year, they switch to the other parent. You can still divvy up the holidays throughout the year so that each parent gets a few that are special to them. But every other year, there will be some sadness if it’s not your year with your children.

Celebrate Separately 

Finally, even if you are dealing with some arguments or don’t really get your way when it comes to your shared custody holiday schedule, you can still make precious memories with your children. Your kids don’t really care what day an actual holiday falls on. So if it’s important to you to celebrate with them, just hold your own celebration when you get them back. Most likely, your kids will be more than happy to celebrate two holidays. Just make sure to remember that the important thing is that you create memories and traditions together, no matter if it’s the actual calendar day of a holiday or not.

Figuring out a shared custody holiday schedule can be a real headache for new coparents. Any sort of custody situation is bound to have some heated moments, but holidays are one that parents get particularly emotional about. And it makes sense because holidays are such an important part of our memories from childhood. You can opt to split up the day itself so that each parent has some time with their children on the actual holiday. However, this can be tiring for younger children, and it can make holidays seem rushed and frantic. You can also divvy up holidays that are of particular importance to each of you throughout the year if you’re able to compromise on things. You can also switch off every other year for holidays too.

It can be hard to be apart from your children, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t still celebrate with them when you have custody again. Even if you aren’t celebrating with your children on the actual day of the holiday, they won’t remember that in the future. All they’ll remember is how much fun you had together.

Tips for Your Adoption Home Study

If you’re planning to adopt, an important part of the process will be your adoption home study. This is when a social worker visits your home and makes sure that’s it’s a safe environment for a child. While a lot of people stress about this process, it’s really just a matter of making sure that your child has a nurturing environment in which to grow up. Do your research so you know what to expect and what’s required in your state. Clean, but don’t go too crazy with things. Try to baby proof your home and prepare a room for your future child. And finally, relax a little bit. Try to remember that your case worker wants this to be successful for you too. Hopefully, your visit will go great and you’ll be one step closer to growing your family.

Tips for Your Adoption Home Study: Don’t Stress Too Much

Research

Before your adoption home study, it can help to do some research. Each state has certain requirements for homes. For example, there might be requirements about the room size for your future child, and they might need things like windows in the room. Know what your agent will be looking for up front so you can make sure that your home meets the standards.

Clean, But Don’t Go Crazy

It’s helpful to clean ahead of your adoption home study. However, it’s not necessary to go totally crazy with the cleaning. You just want to present a pleasant and welcoming environment. Try to clean as if you were having company over, because after all, that’s what this visit is. A chance for your case worker to get to know you a little better.

Baby Proof

Another great thing to do ahead of your adoption home study is baby proofing. You can cover up electrical outlets if you’re expecting to welcome a baby or toddler. For any child, make sure that if you have a pool that it’s properly fenced off. If you have pets that can be aggressive, begin thinking of alternative plans for where they might live. Make sure all windows are operable, and remove any hazards from the home.

Relax

Finally, relax. Try to remember that your adoption home study is just a chance for your case worker to get to know a little bit more about your family and your home. They are on your side and want every child to go to a loving home. They aren’t looking for reasons to ding you out of the program. Be polite and open with them. Try to remember that they just want what’s best for every child.

Your adoption home study is an exciting step in the adoption process. But it’s one that a lot of parents can get a little bit stressed about. Try to relax and remember that this isn’t a chance for somebody to criticize every aspect of your home. Rather, it’s a chance for them to let you know if there are any things that you need to address before a child arrives. Do a little research on what is necessary in your area, and make changes accordingly. Clean up the home so that’s it’s tidy and welcoming. Try to go ahead and prepare a room for your future child, and plan to baby proof if they are young. Finally, relax. As long as you plan to welcome your future child into a safe and nurturing environment, your home study will go just fine!

How to Dress Appropriately for Court

Making sure to dress appropriately for court can help you make the best first impression possible in front of a judge. If you are going to court for a divorce proceeding, you want to ensure that you are looking and behaving appropriately and in a way that shows respect to the judge. This means opting for conservative clothing and hairstyles for both men and women. Additionally, it’s important to follow the rules of the court room and always be respectful of the judges and attorneys. For example, never interrupt, address the judge appropriately, and avoid distracting behavior. Hopefully, by dressing the part, you can have a more favorable outcome for your court decision.

How to Dress Appropriately for Court: Making the Best Impression

Clothing

If you’re wanting to dress appropriately for court, keep in mind that conservative and professional is usually best. You want to make sure that you are wearing clothing that is clean and wrinkle-free. Avoid tight fitting outfits, revealing shirts, or anything too casual. For example, for men, slacks and a button down shirt is appropriate with closed toe shoes. For women, slacks and a shirt, or a professional dress is appropriate. Avoid flip-flips and t-shirts. While it’s fine to have your own sense of style outside court, when you’re in the courtroom, it’s best to forgone fashion in favor of a more traditional outfit.

Hair

In order to dress appropriately for court, you’ll also need to make sure that your hair and accessories are professional. For example, a low bun, pony tail, or styled hair for women, and a clean and neat hairstyle for men. Avoid outlandish facial hair styles, dyed hair, or lots of piercings. Cover up tattoos when able to, and try to ensure that you are clean and put-together at all times. 

Behavior

Besides needing to dress appropriately for court, you’ll also need to behave in a way that is respectful to the rest of the court members and judge. For example, ask your attorney what the appropriate way to address the judge is. Additionally, avoid things like chewing gum, talking on the phone, or otherwise distracting behavior. Never interrupt your attorney or the judge when speaking, and answer questions directly. 

The Bottom Line

Showing up for court can be intimidating, and while it shouldn’t necessarily matter what you look like, showing an effort with your clothes and styling can go a long way in making a good first impression. Save your funky sense of style for another venue and instead opt for professional, conservative clothing while in court. Try to behave in a way that is respectful of the court and court members, and make sure to arrive on time and with everything you need in tow. If you have questions about how to behave or dress, ask your attorney for guidance.

The courtroom is a very prim and proper place, and calls for a respectful appearance and behavior. If you need to dress appropriately for court, you’ll need to keep in mind that this is not the place for outlandish, daring outfits. Your sense of style does not matter nearly as much as your behavior. So forgo the loud outfits, funky hair, or chunky jewelry and opt for outfits that are more traditional and conservative. In terms of behavior, always be respectful of the judge, attorneys, and other members of the court. Avoid distracting behaviors like chewing gum, talking on the phone, or interrupting. Pay attention when anybody is speaking, and make sure to address the judge in a respectful way. Hopefully, you and your attorney can go through what is expected of you beforehand so that you can arrive and put your best foot forward for your court appearance.