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Category: Dating

How-to Take a Break From Dating After Divorce

When your divorce is finalized, you may be tempted to jump right back into the dating pool. Some people even start looking for new prospects while they are only just separated. While it may seem like a good idea to put yourself back out there right away, it may actually be better to take a break from dating after divorce. That way, you can give yourself some time for yourself and hopefully set yourself up for success when you do get back into looking for a partner.

How-to Take a Break From Dating After Divorce: Taking Time For Yourself

Emotional Healing

Divorce can be mentally, physically, and emotionally draining. You will likely carry a lot of hurt with you. Before you are ready to commit yourself to another person, it is best to work through your pain and emotions. This will prevent you from carrying that hurt into your next relationship, and potentially sabotaging it. The same may happen if you are overly suspicious or bitter right after your divorce. Do not try and look for a partner right away in order to mask your pain. If you have not dealt with your emotions, they are bound to come boiling back up at some point. Some people think they have to be in a relationship in order to be happy. This is not the case. If you have not worked through your emotions, it is best to take a break from dating after divorce.

Instead, work towards healing emotionally. You can talk to a councilor or a trusted friend. Also, work towards being the best version of yourself that you can be. Meditation, exercise, reading, and taking time to relax are all good for your wellbeing and mental health.

Occupy Your Time

Find things other than dating to distract you and occupy your time after a divorce. Pick up a new hobby or work on self-improvement during this time. Who knows, you could end up sharing your new hobbies with your future partner one day. There were things that did not work during your last relationship, so this is the perfect time to look within and try and correct those things so that you can avoid those bad habits or traits when going into a new relationship.

If you take a break from dating after divorce, choose to spend time with friends for companionship. This will help you stay busy with events and things to do instead of looking to date. Even if your friends are all in relationships, try and carve out good one-on-one time to spend with your friends too.

Instead of looking for a new relationship just after a divorce, take this time to work on yourself and find other things to occupy your time. Instead of jumping into a new relationship that is all wrong, take a break from dating after divorce. While it may seem difficult at the time, you will appreciate the time to yourself eventually.

How-to Regain Self-Confidence After a Divorce

Divorce can be painful in many ways. It can hurt your pride, heart, mind, and even self-confidence. It can change the way you view yourself, and make you feel like you have lost your identity. Having a change in marital status does not define you. Do not ever think that a divorce impacts your value or your self-worth. Here are some steps to take to regain your self-confidence after a divorce.

How-to Regain Self-Confidence After a Divorce: Redefining Yourself

Change Your Mindset

One of the first steps to regaining your self-confidence after a divorce is to change your mindset. No matter how you may feel, remind yourself that you are not a failure due to your divorce. Also, your marriage was not a failure. Many people go through this same thing, so it is important to know that not all marriages last. Change your mindset to look as this journey as one of courage. It takes a lot of courage to step out of something that was not working, especially something that was familiar and comfortable. You are now entering into this new phase of life with the gift and benefit of experience.

Your Children

It is important to remember that your children are not automatically irreparably damaged just because you got divorced. Actually, living in an environment full of fighting and anger can be harmful to children. Therefore, it may actually be better for your children’s wellbeing that you left the bad relationship and removed them from the negative environment. What will leave a lasting impression on your kids is how you handle the divorce process. Do your best to walk through it with dignity and respect, never slandering your ex in front of your kids. Understanding that your choice to leave a relationship does not automatically make you a bad parent or ruin your children is an important part of regaining your self-confidence after a divorce.

Be Active

Exercise is linked to endorphins, which can make you feel happier. Plus, it will make you healthier, both mentally and physically. Find an activity that you enjoy, whether it is walking, running, cycling, doing yoga, or any other option. If you are new to this activity, this might help you find a new community to become a part of. In the same way, if you have already participated in the activity before, it can help you reconnect or be surrounded with a community of people you have something in common with.

An added bonus to exercise is that you will look and feel better. When you move, you will mentally start to feel better. On top of that, you will start seeing positive changes to your overall health and body. When you start to notice positive changes in how you look and feel, you will start to regain your self-confidence after a divorce.

Classic Signs of a Toxic Relationship

Classic signs of a toxic relationship can indicate physical abuse or emotional abuse. There are many ways that a relationship can be toxic but there are red flags to look out for. First, any sort of physical abuse is a clear indicator that your partner is toxic. A controlling or isolating relationship is also a sign of abuse. Gaslighting is a clear signal and form of psychological abuse. And finally, verbal abuse is of course toxic as well. If you see any signs of these types of behavior, it might be time to really examine your relationship and see if it has a future.

Classic Signs of a Toxic Relationship: Am I In One?

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is the most obvious of the classic signs of a toxic relationship. Nobody, man or woman, should ever be violent with their partner. If your partner gets physical with you, it’s a dangerous warning sign. Physical abusers often follow their violence with apologies. However, the abuse is likely to continue. If your partner is abusive, contact the National Domestic Abuse Hotline for help in getting out of the relationship safely.

Controlling/Isolating

Another of the classic signs of a toxic relationship is one that is very controlling. If you feel that your partner makes all of the decisions in your relationship, they might be too controlling. In addition, controlling partners often want to isolate their victims. For example, they may make their partners feel guilty for wanting alone time. Or for having close relationships with other friends and family. Look out if you feel that your personal relationships have really been declining because of a new partner. It could be because they are trying to control and isolate you.

Gaslighting

Gaslighting is one of the lesser-known signs of a toxic relationship. However, it is a form of psychological abuse. This happens when your partner tries to make you believe something other than the truth. Or they may have you doubting your own feelings. A classic type of gaslighting is when somebody tries to make you feel overly emotional or crazy. They may make you question your actions, memories, or even your sanity.

Verbally Abusive

One final example of the classic signs of a toxic relationship is verbal abuse. Any partner that attacks you verbally does not deserve to be with you. Partners should not insult, belittle. or name call. In addition, if your partner frequently yells at you, this is a form of verbal abuse. Often, verbally abusive partners treat their victims very differently alone than they do when others are around. A verbally abusive relationship can have a lot of negative effects on your mental health, so it’s best to leave it as soon as possible.

Signs of a toxic relationship can be obvious but can also be subtle. In addition, there are many different types of toxic relationships. If your partner is physically abusive, you need to seek help immediately to get out of the relationship safely. If your partner is overly controlling or makes you feel isolated from friends and family, it can definitely be a red flag. In addition, a partner who gaslights you is showing signs of psychological abuse. And finally, name-calling and other forms of verbal abuse are dangerous to your mental well-being. If you see any of these signs in your partner, it might be time to take a closer look at your relationship. You deserve to be with a partner who respects you and wants to build you up. Not tear you down. If you need help leaving an abusive relationship, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

Trust Issues: Frequent Signs

Trust issues can be a big reason as to why a couple may get a divorce. Still, not many people are aware of what these issues may look like. Having a better understanding of these signs can be handy for spotting and avoiding them in the future…

Trust Issues: Figure Them Out

Anticipating betrayal

One usual sign of trust issues are when you or your partner expect some kind of betrayal. Now, if you were dealing with someone who has a track record of lying, this would make sense. However, odds are your relationship doesn’t have this. Despite this, you may still expect one day to find your spouse is lying or cheating.

Even if they have shown no indication of this, you still plan for it nonetheless. For some, this is because of trust violation in the past. The thing is, all relationships are different. You have to be willing to give a fair chance to your partner.

Trusting too quickly

On the other side of trust issues are problems trusting too quickly. If you don’t have a lot of experience with building relationships based on trust, then you could offer a lot of trust to those who haven’t given you a reason to. It could be that you end up placing a lot of trust in someone you’ve known for a short time.

Trust, much like with respect, has to be earned. You need to be able to see and get a feeling for someone in order to be able to trust them. It’s good to approach any potential new friend or partner with an open mind, extending trust to them as you build a repertoire.

Mistakes are blown up

Blowing up mistakes into apparently massive issues are another example of trust issues. Everyone is going to mistakes, especially in relationships. Some will be pretty minor and not worth sweating. Yet, if you have issues with trust, you could potentially see them as part of a bigger issue.

Maybe your partner is running a bit late, or isn’t able to answer your calls. If you have problems trusting, then you may view this as them hiding something from you or hating you. In reality, they aren’t big deals, and you have to view them from the right mindset.

Balancing Time: Being Together Vs. Alone

Like many things in life, a good relationship will require balancing time. However, many couples struggle to find a good balance of time spent together and time spent alone. Figuring out a good mix can help avoid some potential issues a poor balance can bring…

Balancing Time: Find Some Middle Ground

Time together

The first aspect of balancing time is the time you spend together as a couple. It’s ideal that a couple will like spending time with each other. Additionally, while this time can be spent in many ways, the key thing is you enjoy being with your partner. Whether you’re out doing something or just relaxing at home, you’ll still value each other’s company.

Still, too much time together can potentially be bad. Even the most-inseparable couples need some space away from each other from time to time. If you don’t have that time, you’ll find you and your partner will begin to get irritated, even if you can’t tell why at first. Eventually, you won’t want to spend any time with them if you can help it.

Time apart

This is where time apart comes into the balancing time mix. This will be time you spend doing things without your partner being there. Many people spend this time being with friends or family. Still, you can also spend this time by yourself, either doing a hobby or just relaxing.

Of course, too much time apart can also be an issue. Not being with your partner can cause them to think you don’t care about them or love them. Over time, this can result in trust issues to develop. These issues can get to the point where your relationship is unable to recover.

Strike your balance

Balancing time is something every couple has to try and figure out. As every couple is a bit different, this balance will look different from one to another. Plus, it might take some experimentation before you find the balance which works for you.

The important thing is you and your partner work together to find this perfect balance. Talk to each other and figure out some ways to really enjoy your time together. Then, also discuss when and why you may want some time apart. Being on the same page will go a long way in avoiding potential problems.

Conflicting Personalities: Opposites Attract

While everyone knows the phrase “opposites attract”, it’s also possible that conflicting personalities can lead to a divorce. This friction can even lead to some divorce conflict. While some traits can work with each other, they might also come with some potential for conflict…

Conflicting Personalities: Common Types

Introvert/extrovert

One of the most well-known conflicting personalities are introverts and extroverts. Introverts don’t like to be out socializing all the time. Meanwhile, extroverts love to be out doing things with other people. In some cases, this can work as an extrovert encourages an introvert to be more social. 

However, it usually leads to fighting. Spouses will start to feel resentful if they need to go out of their comfort zone for the sake of their partner. Instead, it’s good for a couple to have a similar balance for being social and staying in.

Organized/Disorganized

Another example of conflicting personalities is those who are organized and those who are disorganized. Organized people like structure and to have a place for everything. Those who are disorganized tend to be a bit more impulsive and will place things wherever they feel like.

Again, these kind of couples can help each other. A person can be either too rigid or too irresponsible on their own. Being with someone who’s their opposite can help them fix this. Still, they can also end up arguing if neither wants to change.

Adventurous/traditional

One type of conflicting personalities couples don’t pay too much attention to is being adventurous versus being traditional. The former is someone who is always down to try new things, while the latter is someone who likes to stick with what they know. For younger couples, this dynamic can work quite well. The adventurous one can encourage the other to experience things they wouldn’t have otherwise.

Much of the conflict can stem over future plans. The idea of “settling down” somewhere may not appeal to an adventurous person. Rather, they want to keep doing fun things. Their partner may want to live a bit more of a quite life as they get older together. These disagreements can become constant fights as they get older.

How-to Heal From a Bad Relationship

Real life relationships are not like the ones in the movies. While sometimes they can feel close, they are not always blissful and perfect. Relationships require hard work, patience and love. Although most relationships have more positive moments than bad ones, some are really toxic. Where it’s a bad dating relationship or an unhealthy marriage, these are the kind of relationships that you do not need to stay in. Yet somehow, they can be the most difficult to get out of. At times, it may seem impossible to heal from a bad relationship, but know that with a little hard work and time, it can happen.

How-to Heal From a Bad Relationship: Recovering and Moving On

Grieve

First off, know that it is okay to be sad. Good relationship or bad relationship, you are still loosing something that was a part of you. Releasing those emotions will help you be able to start to heal from a bad relationship. Do not be ashamed to talk to someone about how you are feeling. Grieving is a healthy part of moving on to new, better things.

During this process, and likely later on too, you may start to question if you made the right decision. This is normal as well. Confront all of your doubt. Know that you ended the relationship for a reason. No matter what, do not reach back out to your ex, even though you may be tempted to. It will only cause you more pain, or even get you sucked back into the toxic relationship again. You deserve to be in a happy, healthy relationship.

Self Care

Do not beat yourself up for the choices you made or for getting into that relationship in the first place. Give yourself grace in order to heal from a bad relationship. Practice self-care and be kind to yourself. Know that this relationship does not define you. Spend time with friends and loved ones. This may mean having to reconnect with people that you have severed a relationship with, since unhealthy relationships can sometimes lead to broken bonds.

Remember the things you enjoyed before the relationship that you may have given up during the relationship. These could be great things to get back involved with. You may also decide to try something new. This could lead you to find something new and exciting that you enjoy, and take your mind off your bad relationship.

Improving Communication in a Marriage

Communication in a marriage is the absolute most important thing for a happy and long-lasting relationship. Communication isn’t just about talking to each other, though. It’s also about learning how to connect in other ways. One of the best ways to improve communication is to become a better listener. It’s also important to take time to talk when there are no distractions. Often, miscommunication happens because of simple logistics, so having a central place for information can be very helpful. And finally, learning your specific love language and your partners can be very helpful. Hopefully, you can learn to improve your communication and make your marriage stronger.

Improving Communication in a Marriage: The Secret Sauce for Success

Become a Better Listener

One of the best ways of improving communication in a marriage is to get better at listening. Listening doesn’t just mean being quiet while your partner talks. It also means thinking about what they’re saying. And showing that you understand. Nod, maintain eye contact and ask thoughtful questions to show you care. In return, your partner will likely listen more closely when you talk as well.

Be Distraction Free Sometimes

Improving communication in a marriage means being distraction-free sometimes. Life is busy. Between our phones and busy jobs, it can be hard to find time to talk without distractions. However, it is very important in a marriage. Try to set aside time each day where you put away your phones. Perhaps, try at mealtimes. If you have young children, take some time after they go to bed to connect about your day.

Have One Central Place for Information

A lot of times, miscommunication happens simply because people aren’t on the same page. Simple logistics can cause issues in a marriage just as easily as major problems. Improving communication in a marriage might just mean having one place to go for important information. For example, try a calendar app that your whole family can share. Having a central location for important information can help you stay on the same page with family events.

Learn Your Love Languages

Finally, one of the best ways of improving communication in a marriage is to learn each of your love languages. Each person has specific ways that they communicate with those they love. These can be through acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, and gift-giving. Learning which love language your partner speaks can help you connect more easily.

Improving communication in a marriage is one of the easiest ways to make it stronger. Communication is the basis of any relationship and is so important. Learning to listen better is a great way to start. Show your partner that you are interested in what they have to say. It’s also important to have some time to talk when you can focus without distractions. So put away your phones for a few minutes each day. This can let you truly connect. It can also help to have one place to go to for important family information. For example, a shared calendar app. And finally, learn your partner’s love language. By communicating with them in their love language, you can show how much you care. Hopefully, you can learn to communicate better and make your marriage even stronger.

How to Talk About Money with Your Spouse

It can be awkward to talk about money with your spouse, especially if you’ve been raised to never discuss finances with anybody. However, it’s a very important part of your lives together. Both you and your partner need to have a clear picture of your financial health. Start the conversation early in your marriage or even before you tie the knot. Be honest about debt and spending habits. Work together to figure out a financial goal. This could be a plan to get out of debt, a saving plan, or a retirement plan. And finally, keep the conversation going constantly throughout your lives. You should always be on the same page with finances with your spouse. Talking about money is a healthy part of any marriage that will make your relationship stronger.

How to Talk About Money with Your Spouse: Starting and Continuing the Conversation

Start Early

It’s important to talk about money with your spouse early on. It’s a great idea to discuss finances before you even get married. You should each have some idea of what kind of debt and income the other has so that you can plan accordingly. Once you start living together it’s important to be on the same page with spending and living habits.

Be Honest About Debt

Another important aspect of learning to talk about money with your spouse is to always be honest. It can be embarrassing to admit it if you have debt. However, your spouse needs to know the full picture. Be upfront about your spending habits. If you feel that you have problems with overspending, work together to come up with a solution. Hiding debt doesn’t make it go away.

Work Together

When you talk about money with your partner, you can work together to come up with financial goals. If you can, meet with a financial advisor who can help you create some realistic goals for your money. Come up with a plan to get out of debt, save for your future, save for emergencies, and a retirement plan. Don’t forget to save for things like vacations and home improvements, too.

Continue the Conversation

Finally, once you start to talk about money with your spouse, continue the conversation. You should both be checking in with each other about your financial health frequently. Both partners should have a clear idea of how on track you are with your goals. You don’t want to be surprised by unexpected financial problems. Keeping the lines of communication open will keep you both more on track with your spending habits.

You and your spouse need to talk about money throughout your marriage. After all, our lives depend on money entirely and you now have joint assets. You don’t want any financial issues to take you by surprise. Both of you should have a clear picture of your financial health throughout your marriage. Even if money is tight, this will allow you both to work together to start making things better. Start the conversation early and keep it going throughout your marriage. Be upfront and honest about spending habits and debt. And finally, work together to create some financial goals for your lives together. Whether you have plenty of money or are barely scraping by, tackling financial issues together will make your marriage stronger.

Make Valentine’s Day Memorable This Year

Valentine’s Day is a great time for a couple to reconnect and be reminded of how much they mean to each other. You and your partner might have been handling school closures with your children, travel stress from a pandemic, and both working from home together. It’s been a stressful time, so many couples need a little refresher on heating the romance. Start planning early for your Valentine’s Day surprise. Especially since restaurants are understaffed and have reduced hours. You might think of a special way to recreate an old memory or relive a fun time. Do something unexpected for your special someone that they’ll remember forever. And finally, be sincere and show them how much they mean to you. Keep that spark of romance going and remember why you love them so much in the first place.

Make Valentine’s Day Memorable This Year: How to Make the Holiday Extra Special for Your Sweetie

Plan Early

Remember to start planning Valentine’s Day early this year. There are plenty of restaurants that are facing shortages with staffing. In addition, many have reduced hours as well. Reservations are likely to fill up quickly and way in advance for fancier options. If you and your love are not comfortable going to a restaurant, consider ordering in from someplace special, or cooking dinner for them yourself.

Recreate an Old Memory

Another fun way to spark some romance this Valentine’s Day is to recreate an old memory. Pick a time early in your relationship that holds a lot of meaning for you. Take them back to that same spot and try to recreate an early date. Your partner will be touched by how thoughtful you are.

Do Something Unexpected

You can also keep the magic alive this Valentine’s Day by doing something unexpected. Try taking a cooking class and preparing them a new meal. Or you could take them dancing, to a drive-in movie, or on a romantic hike. You could also plan a short trip as a romantic get-away. Rather than the usual dinner or a movie, think of an off-the-wall date that is sure to be fun and memorable.

Make It Sincere

Finally, you don’t have to make it fancy to have a great Valentine’s Day. You just have to be sincere. You could organize a picnic in a pretty place, or even send them on a scavenger hunt with romantic clues. And it’s always a sweet thing to hand-write a note to your love about why you care about them as much as you do. If you get them a gift, try to find something that is unique, rather than a generic box of chocolates.

Making Valentine’s Day memorable is all about creativity and planning. Try to brainstorm about what it is about your partner that makes you love them so much. Then make sure that you convey that message to them on Valentine’s Day. It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive, it just needs to be heartfelt. If you plan to take them out to eat at a nicer restaurant, plan to reserve your table soon as things will likely get booked far out this year. You could try recreating an old memory or doing something totally out of character. Surprise them with a unique date that they might never have thought of. And finally, don’t forget to be sincere and show them exactly how much you care. Hopefully, you and your love can have a magical Valentine’s Day that you’ll both remember forever.