Category: Divorce

Divorce Immune System

Divorce usually brings a lot of stress along with it. This stress can end up having a negative impact on your health, and your body’s ability to fight off sickness. With the COVID-19 pandemic currently going on, it’s especially important to boost your divorce immune system. Taking a few extra steps can help keep your body healthy…

Divorce Immune System: Keep Healthy

Change your lifestyle

Making some lifestyle changes is a great way to improve your divorce immune system. Doing some exercising, for instance, can help get rid of harmful bacteria from the lungs. It’s also great for promoting white blood cell and antibody production.

Eating healthier foods is also good for our body’s immune system. So can getting 7-8 hours of good sleep each night. Plus, not only will it help keep you healthy, but these steps will also help you feel a lot less stressed.

Have a healthy space

The environment you’re in is also important for your divorce immune system. It might seem odd to think that doing some redecorating can help keep you healthy. However, it’s all about reducing that stress. If you can make your home feel welcoming and inviting, it’ll mean you’ll be less stressed overall.

You may not have the money for a massive remodeling effort, but that’s okay! Even making some minor layout or color changes can go a long way. Having a nice, organized home can help you feel calm and centered, rather than anxious or worried. This means your body gets to focus more on making sure you stay healthy.

Take extra precautions

With everything that’s going on related to COVID-19, it’s now more important than ever to take extra precautions. Constantly exposing yourself to potential infection is not something you’ll want to do, even if you have a strong divorce immune system. Therefore, be sure you do all you can to keep yourself protected.

In general, it’s best to limit how much you need to go out. When you do need to head outside, try to wear a face mask and practice good social distancing as best as you can. Make sure you frequently wash your hands or use hand sanitizer, both while you’re out and once you get back home.

Prenups and Postnups: What’s the Difference?

If you are engaged and discussing financials, you might be wondering what the difference is between prenuptial and postnuptial agreements. Prenups and postnups both determine how a couple will divide their assets in the event of a divorce. The biggest difference is that prenups occur before marriage and postnups occur after a couple is married. A couple usually considers these types of agreements if one person is bringing a lot more wealth to the relationship and wants to protect those assets. Or if one is expecting to inherit large sums of money. Although both have their critics, many find that these types of agreements are the best way to protect your financial wealth.

Prenups and Postnups: What’s the Difference and Do You Need One?

What is a Prenup?

Prenups and postnups are very similar in concept, they just occur at different times. A prenuptial is an agreement between two prospective spouses that determines how their assets will be divided if they divorce. A lot of people feel that a prenup is anti-romantic. They think that it means a couple is already assuming they’ll divorce before they even get married. However, in the US, 50% of marriages end in divorce. Realistically, prenups are a wise choice to protect your financial security.

Who Needs a Prenup?

A couple might discuss prenups and postnups if one partner is bringing more money into the marriage than the other. Similarly, if one has a large estate or is going to inherit a lot of money, they may want one. A prenup prevents a couple from going through a long, drawn-out divorce if they decide to end their marriage. Prenups are especially common for people entering their second, third, or fourth marriages.

What is a Postnup?

Prenups and postnups are very similar, however, a postnup occurs after a couple marries. Other than timing, it’s basically the same as a prenuptial agreement. These have become more common in recent years. They are now legal in all 50 states. Like a prenup, a postnup decides how your assets will be divided in the case of your marriage ending. Similar to prenups, they don’t make any concessions regarding your children or future children.

Who Needs a Postnup?

Since prenups and postnups are so similar, you might be wondering why some opt for postnups. The main reason is simple convenience. Often, the planning stage of an engagement is so stressful and busy that a couple simply doesn’t have time to sit down and draw up a prenup. If this is the case, they’ll often decide to do a postnup instead. This is also an option for couples who feel that the conversation will be awkward and would rather wait until after they marry to have it. Like a prenup, postnups are encouraged if partners are bringing significantly different amounts of wealth into a marriage.

The bottom line is that prenups and postnups are very similar. The only difference between them is that prenuptial take place before marriage and postnuptials occur after the couple says “I do.” However, both of them are legal agreements that spell out what will happen to financial assets in the case of a divorce. If you decide that you and your partner should come to an agreement on either a prenup or postnup, you should consult an experienced attorney. They’ll help guide you through the process and make sure that you are protected financially in the case of your marriage dissolving. Hopefully, you’ll never need to go through the stress of a divorce, but if you do, having a prenup or postnup will make the process much easier.

The Pros and Cons of Single Parenting After a Divorce

If you’re considering seeking sole custody, you may be wondering about the pros and cons of single parenting after a divorce. There are a lot of factors to consider when deciding if this is the right choice for you. One positive of single parenting is that you get to be the decision-maker for your children. Another positive is that your children will have a lot of consistency living in one home with one parent rather than going back and forth. One negative of the situation is that you won’t have another parent around for support. And finally, it can have a negative impact on your children’s relationship with the non-custodial parent. There are many positives and negatives to single parenting, but hopefully, you’ll be able to decide on the choice that works best for your family.

The Pros and Cons of Single Parenting After a Divorce: Dealing with Sole Custody

Pro: Getting to Be the Deciding Factor

One of the positives of single parenting after a divorce is that you get to be the single deciding factor. This is especially helpful if your ex-partner is flaky or inconsistent. If they are in jail or have mental health issues that prevent them from making sound parenting choices, you get to be the legal guardian. This means that you don’t have to run concerns by them first. You can act as your children’s sole advocate. This is especially helpful in cases where there is a medical emergency and a quick decision must be made. Single parenting means that you get to decide alone how best to raise your children.

Pro: Consistency

Another positive of single parenting after a divorce is that your children will have a lot of consistency in their lives. Going back and forth between two different homes can be very hard on kids. Especially if you and your ex have very different lifestyles and parenting styles. If you’re the sole guardian, they will stay with you all of the time and won’t have that back and forth. This can create a very close bond between you.

Con: Lack of Support

One negative of single parenting after a divorce is that you will not have the support of a partner. While making decisions alone can seem like a good thing, often it’s nice to have a partner to bounce ideas off of. It can be hard to find the emotional support as well as general help with childcare that you might need. If you work full time it can be hard to find caregivers for your children. In addition, you may have a lack of financial support to deal with as well. You’ll most likely be raising them mostly on your own money, which can be difficult when you’re used to two full salaries.

Con: Relationship Gap

Another con of single parenting after a divorce is that your children’s relationship with their other parents could suffer. It’s difficult for children to spend much less time with one parent than the other. Often it creates resentment and bitterness. Your children might miss their other parents and ask you frequently if they can spend time with them. In addition, it can strain your relationship with your kids if they view you as keeping them from their other parent. However, you know what’s best for your children and must make the decision that is right for you and them.

There are plenty of pros and cons of single parenting after a divorce besides the ones above. In fact, deciding between sole and joint custody can be very complicated and difficult. Carefully weigh the positives and negatives of each option. Consider the pros that you’ll be the sole decider on issues and that your children will have consistency in their lives. But also weigh the cons of having less support and the possible negative effects on your relationships. Consider each option and decide what makes the most sense for your family. Hopefully, you’ll be able to come to a decision that works for you and your children.

How to Admit to Cheating on Your Spouse

Admitting to cheating on your spouse is one of the most difficult conversations you might ever have with your partner. It’s important to set the right tone for the discussion. Make sure that you reveal the entire truth, not just a partial truth. Give your partner plenty of space to react. Answer their questions if they want to know more information. And finally, try to think of things ahead of time that can help you both move on. But remember that some partners will not even want to try to continue with the marriage. Hopefully, you and your spouse will be able to work things out and move forward with your relationship.

How to Admit to Cheating on Your Spouse: Moving Forward

Set the Right Tone

If you’ve decided to come clean about cheating on your spouse, it’s important to set the right tone. It’s best to make sure that you and your spouse have plenty of time and privacy. This is not the type of conversation you would want to be overheard. It’s really a good idea to talk while you’re at your home, instead of in public. Make sure that you choose a time that works with your spouse’s schedule so that you aren’t rushed. And also make sure that you are distraction-free and won’t be interrupted.

Reveal the Whole Truth

When coming clean about cheating on your spouse, reveal the entire truth. Telling a partial truth can leave you feeling even guiltier. It can also mean that you have to have another conversation further down the road. It can end up hurting your spouse even more. For example, if you cheated more than once, reveal the whole truth. Otherwise, you’ll have to come clean all over again.

Give Your Partner Space

When admitting to cheating on your spouse, give your partner plenty of time and space to react. They may have a lot of questions, or they may not want to hear any details at all. They might react very angrily or emotionally. Be prepared for tears, shouting, and anything in between. Try not to get defensive, after all, it was you who made a mistake. Remain calm if at all possible. Give them plenty of time to process their feelings, and don’t pressure them for any kind of response. They may take a few days or even weeks to really accept what you’ve told them.

Moving On

If you are wanting to move forward after cheating on your spouse, have a plan. Maybe suggest some couples therapy or counseling. Apologize and take responsibility for your mistake. When apologizing, really consider how your spouse is feeling and how you’ve hurt them. Include details on exactly why you’re sorry and how much you want to move forward. Commit to always telling the truth. And finally, accept that they may not want to move on. Some couples can move forward, but others will not. Try to be respectful of their decision.

Admitting to cheating on your spouse might be one of the toughest conversations you can have. Try to set the right tone before you even start by picking a time and place with privacy. Reveal the entire truth. It’s best to just rip the whole band-aid off at once. Otherwise, you’ll have to have a follow-up conversation all over again later. Give your partner plenty of time and space to react. And finally, figure out a way to move forward if that’s what you want. However, acknowledge that your spouse might not accept what you’ve done. Hopefully, though, you’ll both be able to work through things and continue with a stronger relationship than before.

Divorce Coaching: Potential Benefits

Having to go through a divorce alone can be pretty daunting. Therefore, it could be worthwhile to get some divorce coaching. Meeting with a coach could help you handle the new difficulties and challenges which come with divorce…

Divorce Coaching: Ways It Can Help

Develop a plan

Many people tend to feel lost when going through their divorce. It can be difficult to know what you should be doing and what you should avoid. This can very quickly become overwhelming and make things much more difficult for you. That’s why divorce coaching can be handy.

A coach can help you come up with a general plan of action. Not just that, but they’ll also work with you to make a post-divorce plan as well. That way, not only will you have some good guidance now, but you’ll also have an idea of where to start when the divorce is over too.

Talking with your ex

Another time divorce coaching is helpful is when you struggle with talking to your ex. It can be awkward to talk now that you’re divorcing one another. However, it’s important to do so effectively, especially if you’re going to be co-parents after everything is over.

Meeting with a coach can teach you helpful ways to find some common ground with your ex. This will help make it easier for the both of you to talk with each other. Still, it could be the case that there’s a lot of tension remaining between you and your ex. A coach can also help you figure out ways to de-escalate things and keep the peace.

Keep your cool

A person’s emotions tend to run pretty high when they’re divorcing. All the stress can get the better of you and really make you feel frustrated, angry, anxious, or depressed. Divorce coaching can teach you healthy ways to manage these emotions so you can keep your cool.

It’s important to keep your emotions in check for several reasons. Aside from the health benefits, it’ll help you make sure your emotions don’t interfere with your decision making. It can also help you talk to your ex without getting worked up.

How-to: Bring Up Divorce with Your Spouse

If you’ve tried everything and your marriage just isn’t working, you might be considering divorce. This is an impossible decision to make, but sometimes it’s the right thing for a couple. If you’re trying to bring up divorce with your spouse, prepare ahead of time. Choose the right time and setting to have a calm discussion. Be firm with your wants and needs. And finally, don’t discuss details, but instead, make a plan to get professional help. Although the process of divorce is difficult, it might mean that you and your ex are happier in the long run.

How-to: Bring up Divorce with Your Spouse: Set the Right Tone

Prepare Ahead of Time

If you want to bring up a divorce with your spouse, prepare ahead of time. Research the process of divorce in your area so you know what to expect. In some places, you’ll need to separate for a while before the divorce. Figure out how long the divorce can take, and make a plan for what you’d like to get out of it. If you have children, consider how you want their lives to look post-divorce. Try and pinpoint where your partner stands in your relationship. Do they think things are going well and will be blindsided by the conversation? Or are you both on the same page? Try to mentally prepare for their reaction.

Choose the Right Time and Place

Never bring up divorce with your spouse in the middle of an argument. Instead, pick a time when you’ll both be uninterrupted. Arrange for children to be with somebody else so they won’t be a distraction. Avoid bringing up divorce in already overly stressful situations. For example, after the death of a family member or a layoff. Make sure that you have plenty of time set aside. Your conversation could take hours, so make sure you can devote the proper focus to it.

Be Calm and Firm

When you bring up a divorce with your spouse, try to stay calm. If you approach them in anger, they’ll be more likely to respond in a negative way. However, if you bring it up in a calm manner, you will probably get further. Be firm with what you want out of the divorce and why you’re asking for it. That way they’ll know that you’re serious and not just bringing it up because you’re temporarily hurt or angry.

Don’t Discuss Details

There will be a myriad of details to sort out after you bring up a divorce with your spouse. However, try not to discuss minor decisions at this time. Don’t discuss dividing up property or belongings. And try not to discuss custody arrangements. You should have a professional assisting you with these discussions. Instead, decide on how to proceed in general terms. Figure out when you’ll reach out to a divorce attorney. Also, figure out what you’d like your timeline to be.

There are so many things to consider when trying to bring up a divorce with your spouse. Try and set the stage for a positive discussion by preparing ahead of time. Make sure you choose the right time and place and stay calm and firm so they know you’re serious. Finally, wait to figure out the details until you have proper help from a professional. Unfortunately, no matter how hard you might wish a marriage could work out, sometimes it just isn’t right. But moving forward with divorce means that you’re one step closer to being happier.

Building Your Credit After a Divorce

Building your credit after a divorce is extremely important. Your credit score affects what kind of apartment or home you can afford as well as what vehicle you can purchase and much more. If you have a low or no credit score, it will be difficult to even find a place to live after you are separated. So building up your credit during or right after your divorce is key. Open up your accounts and begin putting all of your sole money in there. Pay all of your bills on time every month, and pay off credit cards as well. Work with your ex if there is any joint debt. And finally, set a tight monthly budget and stick to it as closely as possible. Divorce can negatively impact your credit score, so it’s important to know how to build credit back afterward.

Building Your Credit After a Divorce: Recovering Financially

Open Your Own Accounts

Building your credit after divorce begins with you opening up your bank accounts in your name only. You likely already have some joint accounts with your ex, but now is the time to open some that are only in your name. You’ll want to open a savings and checking account. Move all of the money that is yours alone into these accounts. It’s also a good time to go ahead and close any joint accounts. You don’t want your ex running up large debts with your name still attached to the accounts.

Pay Bills on Time

It’s important to pay all of your bills on time when building your credit after a divorce. This also includes new payments like alimony and child support. If you are late on your bills each month, it can negatively impact your credit score. It’s also a good idea to pay off your credit cards in full each month.

Work With Your Ex

While building your credit after a divorce, you might have to deal with some joint debt with your ex. It may be the last thing you want to do to contact your ex, but if you can work together to pay off joint debt quickly, it will help your credit. There are many ways to work on paying off debt, for example, the debt snowball. This is where you pay off your smallest debts first, then use the money that you save from those debts to pay off larger ones. Eventually, you are debt-free.

Set a Monthly Budget

Finally, when building your credit after a divorce, it’s extremely important to set a monthly budget. It’s best to set a very tight budget and live as modestly as possible for a little while. This will ensure that you have plenty of money to pay off any debts and pay off credit card bills every month. If you have plenty of money in savings, an unexpected expense isn’t the emergency it might be if you weren’t budgeting well.

Building your credit after a divorce can take a while, so it’s important to start as soon as possible. Some people think it’s wise to go ahead and open up a credit card or bank account before they even begin the divorce process so that they can start establishing credit on their own. Always pay your bills on time each month, including any new payments like alimony or child support. Work with your ex to try and pay off joint debts as quickly as possible to help both of your credit scores. And finally, budget budget budget. Living frugally will allow you to put away some savings so that unexpected expenses don’t end up hurting your credit score by going to collections. Helpfully, you’ll be able to bounce back financially from divorce and build up your credit quickly.

Divorce with a Special Needs Child

Divorce with a special needs child can be more complicated than a typical divorce settlement because your child might need a specialized plan when it comes to things like custody agreements, support payments, or splitting up assets. It’s important to know that legal custody and physical custody are very different things, and that your child’s plan of care might impact these things greatly.

You might also work out child support payments that last longer than the typical eighteen years depending on your child’s needs. It’s important to find extra support during this time in order to help your child with the transitions that they will be facing and with helping you navigate a very stressful time. Enlisting the help of an experienced divorce attorney will make the process much smoother and will increase your chances of getting the outcome that you want from the divorce settlement. Hopefully, you, your spouse, and child can also adapt to the changes coming and begin working on a smooth co-parenting transition.

Divorce with a Special Needs Child: Things to Consider

Legal Custody

When going through a divorce with a special needs child, or with any child, it’s important to know the difference between legal and physical custody. A parent with legal custody will be able to make all decisions for the child when it comes to things like medical needs, education, or legal questions. A parent with physical custody is the one with whom the child lives. Parents can share legal and physical custody, or can only share one or the other. It’s possible for a parent to share legal custody when it comes to decision-making, but the child lives full time with the other parent.

Physical Custody

When figuring out physical custody during a divorce with a special needs child, things can be more intricate than typical divorce proceedings. This is because your child might require specialized medical equipment in the home or car, specialized education, or need to be within a certain location to be near to medical appointments. Parents will have to consider what is in the best interest of the child, just as the judge will. Some of these decisions might depend on the parent’s budget for medical equipment, or the child’s specific care plan.

Support Payments

Support payments can also look a little different in a divorce with a special needs child. Typical child support payments end when the child turns eighteen and legally becomes an adult. However, a child with special needs might need to continue living at home or might continue to need financial assistance well into adulthood. Because of this, child support might last much longer than the typical eighteen years, depending on their needs. 

Finding Support

When going through divorce of any kind, the process is incredibly stressful and very difficult on both parents and children. It’s important to make sure that you have support in place to help you through this transitional time. Enlist the help of a qualified mental health counselor for yourself, and look into supplementing your child’s care plan with additional resources to help them with this transition. It’s also absolutely imperative that you hire an experienced and knowledgeable divorce attorney to help you navigate the divorce process to ensure that you get the settlement you and your child deserve. 

Divorce is difficult on everybody, but going through divorce with a special needs child can bring up even more intricacies and complications to an already confusing process. It’s important to enlist help from an experienced attorney as soon as you believe that the divorce is actually happening. When looking for an attorney, make sure to ask about their experience when it comes to legal cases similar to yours.

You might be facing more intricacies when it comes to legal and physical custody since your child has specialized needs. This might impact which parent’s house they live at, how often they can visit the other parent, or what kind of equipment will need to go with them through custody transitions. Child support payments might also last longer than the typical eighteen years if your child will have ongoing financial needs as an adult. It’s important to find emotional support for yourself and your child as you go through this tricky time. Enlist the help of a mental health professional, and consider adding some extra support to the list of care providers for your child as well. Hopefully, your whole family can move smoothly through this process and end up with the divorce settlement that will most benefit your child.

Dealing with Grief During a Divorce

Dealing with grief during a divorce can be a long process. Everybody experiences divorce differently. You likely will go through many stages with your grief, and they might each take different lengths of time. Don’t compare your journey to anybody else’s. Instead, try to work on healthily dealing with your emotions. Try to accept your divorce and permit yourself to feel your feelings. Surround yourself with supportive family and friends. Take plenty of time for self-care and make yourself a priority. And finally, be patient. This process can take a long time. But rest assured, someday you will feel at peace with your divorce. And then you’ll be able to move on to the next chapter of your life.

Dealing with Grief During a Divorce: Channeling Emotions in a Healthy Way

Try to Accept the Divorce

It’s important to accept reality when dealing with grief during a divorce. Often, the denial stage of grief can take a long time. But denying the reality won’t change the situation. Try to take some time to address the fact that your marriage is ending. Only after you accept that it’s over can you begin to move forward.

Surround Yourself with Supportive People

An important part of dealing with grief during a divorce is surrounding yourself with supportive family and friends. Try to reach out to people that understand what you’re going through and who will help you in productive ways. For example, helping you find new interests instead of just trash-talking your ex.

Take Time for Self-Care

Don’t forget to take some time for self-care when handling the grief during a divorce. Especially if you are feeling very stressed by the divorce process. Take a few moments to meditate, breathe deeply, or calm your mind. Try to find some new activities or hobbies that interest you. Another important part of self-care is getting the help you need if you are struggling. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a professional therapist if you feel like you are struggling.

Be Patient

Finally, when dealing with grief during a divorce, be patient. This process takes a long time. And it takes different amounts of time for everybody. Don’t compare yourself to other people you know who have gotten divorced. Their situation might have been very different from your own. Let it take as long as it needs to take. Just trust yourself and the fact that someday, you will be able to move forward.

Tackling grief during a divorce can be a long and difficult process. It’s important to first accept the reality of the situation so that you can begin to move forward. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that your marriage is over, but denying it won’t change the situation. Surround yourself with supportive family and friends who will help you find new hobbies or even help you when you’re ready to start dating again. Take plenty of time for self-care, including mental self-care. And finally, give yourself some grace. Be patient and know that this process can take a while. However, someday you will be able to move forward knowing that you made the right decision. Hopefully, you’ll be able to move on to an exciting new part of your life and maybe even meet somebody new to share it with.

Handling Divorce Stress: Breathing Exercises

Breathing exercises can help you reduce your stress and practice mindfulness, especially if you are going through something stressful like a divorce. You can do these exercises whenever you have a few moments of free time to help you mentally focus. And you can use them if you’re feeling particularly anxious. The idea is to focus solely on just your breathing and let your mind clear for a few moments. There are tons of techniques you can use, but 4-7-8 breathing is one of the most popular. You can also try breathing through alternating nostrils, or lying down and trying diaphragmatic breathing. Finally, the lion’s breath technique is also a good one to try if you are feeling particularly frazzled. Hopefully, you can use these exercises to calm down your nervous system and give yourself some time to clear your head.

Handling Divorce Stress: Breathing Exercises to Calm You Down

4-7-8

4-7-8 breathing is one of the most popular and widely recommended breathing exercises for stress. To do this, sit comfortably and touch your tongue to the back of your upper teeth. Then exhale all of your air in a whooshing sound. Inhale while you count to four. Then hold your breath for 7 counts. Then, exhale slowly with a whooshing sound for 8 counts. You should keep your tongue in the same position for the duration of the exercise. Repeat 3 more times.

Nostril Switch

Another of the easy breathing exercises that you can practice whenever you have a free moment is the alternating nostril switch. To do this, cover your right nostril and breathe in through your left nostril. Then, cover your left nostril and breathe out through the right. Breathe back in through the right and cover it. Breathe out through the left nostril. Breathe back in through the left nostril and cover it. Repeat this pattern for about five minutes or until you feel calmer.

Diaphragmatic Breathing

Some breathing exercises can do more than just battle stress. Diaphragmatic breathing can help you with lung health and blood pressure in addition to calming your nervous system. Lay comfortable on your back with a pillow under your head and knees bent. Lay one hand on your upper chest and the other below your rib cage. Inhale through your nose and feel your stomach press against your hand. Then exhale through pursed lips as you tighten your abdominal muscles. Keep your upper hand perfectly still. Repeat for five minutes several times a day. 

Lions’ Breath

Finally, one last exercise you can try is the lion’s breath technique. It’s an energizing yoga practice that can help release tension in your body. Sit comfortably with your hands on your knees. Inhale deeply through your nose and then open your eyes wide. Open your mouth as widely as you can and stick your tongue out and down as if touching your tongue to your chin. Exhale strongly through your mouth making a deep “haaaa” sound from your belly. As you do this, look up as if looking at the space between your eyebrows. Repeat two or three times.

Deep breathing exercises can be hugely beneficial if you are dealing with divorce stress or anxiety from any situation. And not only that, but some of the techniques can also improve your pulmonary or cardiovascular health as well. It’s important to find the practices that work for you if you are experiencing stress. In addition to deep breathing, you might consider things like journaling, yoga, affirmation, meditation, or speaking with a therapist. You can do deep breathing when you have a few moments throughout your day or when you’re feeling particularly anxious or tense. The main focus is simply to clear your mind of stress and focus it solely on your breathing instead. At least for a little while. Even just a short break like this can help you body and mind to begin to relax a bit. Hopefully, you can find the techniques that work best for you so that you can fight divorce stress and improve your mental health.