Category: Emotional Impact of Divorce

Healthy Eating Post-Divorce

It’s important to make sure you keep healthy after your divorce ends. One way you can do this is by practicing some healthy eating post-divorce. Still, it isn’t always easy. That’s why it’s good to know some helpful ways to stick to your eating goals…

Healthy Eating Post-Divorce: Adjust Your Diet

Picking a diet

Most people try to look for a diet when they want to do some healthy eating post-divorce. However, it’s important that you find one which fits your needs. Different diets can help with different things. For instance, one diet may help with weight loss, whereas another may be good if you want to add some muscle.

Also, be wary of any “fad” diets. Many times, these wont’ give you the results you expect. They could also be unhealthy in general! Therefore, just be sure you always do a good amount of research into whatever diets you’re looking at.

When you’re undereating

It isn’t uncommon for recently divorced people to lack an appetite. This can cause them to not eat as much as they should. Not only can this lead to a loss of energy, it can even make you rapidly lose an unhealthy amount of weight.

While it can be hard to find the motivation to do healthy eating post-divorce, you still need to make sure you get those important nutrients. You could try to make things such as protein shakes or smoothies. These will be both easier to make and eat than other meals. The same goes for soups and salads. Once you get back on track, you’ll find that your appetite will probably soon come back!

When you’re overeating

Binge eating is also pretty common after a divorce. In order to deal with the stress and anxiety, many people turn to comfort foods. While they’ll feel better when eating, most of these foods tend to be unhealthy. As a result, you may find yourself gaining weight in the process.

The best way to stick to healthy eating post-divorce is to get rid of the temptation. Clear out all of that unhealthy food from your house. Then, stick to good, healthy foods, especially those which can be filling in smaller amounts. Soon, you’ll find that your eating habits will get back to more-healthy levels.

How-to Manage a School Year Divorce

Getting a divorce at any time can be quite rough. However, pulling off a school year divorce can be especially tough. Therefore, it’s useful to know what you can do to help make the process easier for everyone in your family…

How-to Manage a School Year Divorce: Reducing Stress

Talk to your kids

When you begin a school year divorce, it’s important you talk to your kids. Divorce can shake them up quite a bit. Having to juggle new school demands alongside that can make things even more rough. This year, there’s also the unique challenges that Covid-19 might present too.

That’s why talking to your kids will be helpful. Here, you can get to better explain what’s going on and reiterate that you’ll support them no matter what. You should also let them know that they can come to you and talk about anything that’s bothering them, school-related or not. That way, they don’t feel like they need to keep their feelings bottled up.

Set up a good routine

A good routine is especially important for your kids when you’re doing a school year divorce. A consistent schedule will help provide some much-needed stability for them. At the same time, it also allows for you to have something to schedule your divorce matters around. This can help ensure that the divorce proceedings won’t interfere too much with your kid’s school schedule.

Don’t forget to include their other parent in this schedule as well. After all, it’s important that they get to see them and spend some time with them. Some parents like to set up having alternating days. One parent will pick the kids up, take them home, and drop them off next morning. Then, the other parent will do the same, helping to keep the time equal.

Reach out to their teachers

Even with your help, a school year divorce can inadvertently impact how your kids do in school. Sometimes, it may be hard for them to focus as they think about the divorce. Other times, they may just lose their motivation to finish any assignments. A good way to get ahead of this is by reaching out to their teachers.

By letting their teachers know what’s going on at home, they can better help your kids in the classroom. After all, their teachers want to help the succeed too. You don’t have to go into a lot of details about your divorce either. Just mentioning it can be enough for their teachers to understand and better work with your kids.

How-to Decide How to Spend the Holidays Mid-Divorce

Making holiday plans can be really tricky and stressful. Then throw a divorce in the mix, and the decisions get far more complicated. Do you celebrate the holidays together as a family, or do you spend them separately and start your own new traditions? This is an especially difficult decision when kids are in the picture. Every situation and family dynamics will be different, so there is no cookie cutter answer. However, by thinking through these tips, you will be able to decide how to spend the holidays mid-divorce.

How-to Decide How to Spend the Holidays Mid-Divorce: Together or Apart

Together

Sharing the holidays as an entire family is ideal. Keeping the same routine and traditions could make these transitions a bit easier. However, that is not possible for many parents during a divorce. Deciding if you should spend the holidays together as a family while going through a divorce really comes down to several factors. Tensions can really flare up from built-up frustrations and the stress of the holidays mid-divorce. Honestly ask yourself if you are you able to get along with your spouse in a civil manner. You do not want there to be an explosion of anger and hurt to ruin the holiday celebrations. This is especially not fair for your kids, who will already be struggling with the divorce. If you feel like this may be a problem, consider talking to a councilor or spending the holidays separately.

Split

When deciding how to spend the holidays mid-divorce, some families may opt for a split set up. This may work best if one or both parents have a new significant other. Other reasons could be that tensions are high between parents, or they do not live nearby one another. While things will feel different than before, you will be able to create your own new holiday traditions. However, don’t forget to consider what is best for your kids too.

With this arrangement, one parent may get the kids during one part of the day to celebrate, and then swap later in the day. This could also be done on as an alternation between who gets Christmas Eve and who gets Christmas Day every year. Sometimes parents live far apart and it is not possible to easily switch within a day during the holidays. In these situations, it is possible to do alternating years for which parents get the kids during the holidays. The set up you make during the divorce could even continue after the divorce is finalized if the situation worked for you.

Divorce Parties: A Growing Trend

When someone is divorcing, we figure that their reactions won’t be that positive. After all, emotions like grief and bitterness are pretty common for divorce. However, divorce parties have actually become a growing trend. There’s a few reasons as to why this is…

Divorce Parties: A Growing Trend

What they are

A divorce party sounds like a pretty contradictory event. After all, how can one really celebrate something that’s usually sad like divorce? It’s for that exact reason why people like to have these parties. For them, it’s a way to celebrate that their unhappy marriage is over, and their new, happier life has begun.

Plus, “party” can be a bit of a misleading word choice. These events can be anything that the divorcing person wants them to be. For instance, this could include throwing a big party and inviting a lot of their friends. However, it could also include a small, more reserved event with only a few people.

Why throw one?

Divorce parties can seem a bit in poor taste. This is especially true if you had a smooth or mutually-agreed upon divorce. However, these parties are usually more for those coming out of unhealthy marriages or difficult divorces. These parties can be a nice way for them to start feeling like themselves again.

These parties can also mark the start of a person’s new post-divorce life. What better way to kick things off than with a nice celebration? Getting things going on a positive note can help one carry that energy further into their new lifestyle.

Things to remember

If divorce parties sound like something you might be interested it, it helps to keep a few things in mind. First of all, don’t tell your ex about your plans. Doing so can really hurt your potential post-divorce relationship, especially if you have to co-parent. Keep things between you and those you’re inviting.

In the same vein, you might also want to avoid social media posts about your party. It can be tempting, especially if you see other people do so. However, it can be an easy way for your ex to see it too, or cause some drama.

Offering Support: Help A Divorcing Friend

Having a strong support network can really help with making a divorce more manageable. However, what about when a friend of yours is divorcing? Many people like offering support, but are unsure of the best way to truly help. However, there are many ways for you to support your friend during these times…

Offering Support: Help A Divorcing Friend

Provide empathy

When you first start offering support, it helps to be empathetic. Your friend doesn’t need to hear anything like “I told you so”. Odds are they’re already beating themselves up as it it. Having someone they see as a friend jump in on the dog-pile will only make them feel worse.

Instead, just try to listen to your friend and provide some empathy for how they feel. Try to avoid making assumptions about how you might handle the situation or how to “fix” things. Many times, people want to fix other’s problems when they really can’t. Sometimes, all your friend needs is someone to listen to them.

Offer the right kind of help

When it comes to offering support, you want to offer the right kind of support. This should be help which makes your friend’s life just a bit easier. For example, if they have kids, maybe you can offer some help watching them if they have to do something. Little things like that go a long way in helping them out.

However, make sure that you don’t offer them any advice which could come back to hurt them. Don’t encourage them to get “back” at their ex, or something along those lines. That will only make your friends situation harder than it needs to be.

Remember to still include them

When you’re offering support, remember that your friend is still, well, your friend! You shouldn’t try treating them like they’re a totally new person just because they’re going through a divorce. Sometimes, your friend will just need to get away from everything, and that’s where you can help.

Make sure to still include your friend when you can. Invite them to go out, offer to do things with them, or just take some time to hang out. Doing so can help your friend take their mind off the divorce, and feel a bit “normal” again.

Post-Divorce Wardrobe

Divorce can be a very painful experience, and make you feel like you have to start over from scratch. However, you can take this feeling and turn it into something positive by re-inventing your new post-divorce life. One way to do this is through your post-divorce wardrobe. Now is the time to find a style to really call your own…

Post-Divorce Wardrobe

Figure out your style

The first part of starting your post-divorce wardrobe is figuring out your style. When you’re married, and dealing with the average day-to-day routine, it can be hard to spend the time perfecting your style. However, now that your divorce is over, this is the perfect opportunity to find the clothes that really match you.

Try to figure out what kind of clothes, colors, or brands you like versus the ones you don’t. Then, think about how you’d like those clothes to go together, and soon you’ll find your own style. It may take some trial and error, but it’ll be worth it in the end.

Make room for the new stuff

Once you know what your style is, it’s time to make some room for your post-divorce wardrobe. That means going through the clothes you have and deciding what matches your style, and what doesn’t. While you can keep the things you like or match your style, it’s time to get rid of the rest.

A good time to do this is if you plan on moving after your divorce. That way, not only will it make your move easier, but you can go into your new home or apartment with only what you need for your new life. As for your old clothes, you have a few options. You can trash them, try to sell them for a bit of extra cash, or you can donate them for others to wear.

Shop responsibly

Once you’ve got your style down and made space, it can be tempting to go all-out on your post-divorce wardrobe. However, it’s important to do your shopping responsibly. After all, the time after your divorce can be pretty rough on your wallet.

When you do go clothes shopping, keep a budget in mind and stick to it. You don’t want to go overboard and end up with some buyer’s regret. Also, keep an eye out for any sales or special discount events, and plan your shopping around that to get the best deals.

Divorce Stress: Ways To Relax

Divorce stress is a part of the divorce process that can seem unavoidable. However, the important thing is how you handle this stress. Allowing this stress to build could have a negative impact on your overall health. Therefore, it’s a good idea to know how you can get this stress out of your system…

Divorce Stress: Ways To Relax

Deep breathing

One way to reduce divorce stress is by taking deep breaths. Now, it might sound a little cliche, but deep breaths actually do help with stress. When people get anxious and worked up, they tend to take very shallow breaths. What this means is that they end up feeling out of breath, allowing for the stress to build up.

However, taking deep breaths solves this problem. For starters, they slow down your breathing and help you calm down. Plus, deep breathing makes you do abdominal breathing, which gets more air into your body. All of this can help you re-center and refocus on what’s going out without the added stress.

Create a calming space

Sometimes, it can feel like your divorce stress is always building up. You may even feel like you have no way of escaping from your stressors. When this happens, your stress can feel just too overwhelming. For this reason, it’s important to give yourself a space in which you can relax, unwind, and de-stress.

Try to work on making your home or apartment a welcoming and relaxing space. You can put up decorations you like, get some nice candles, and maybe even paint the walls to a more neutral color. Even things like getting some indoor plants and keeping the blinds open can help make your living space the perfect place to get away from the stress.

Channel that stress

When you feel like your divorce stress has built up for too long, you’re going to need to let it out. However, it’s important to do so on your own terms. Constantly letting that stress build can lead to you accidentally letting it out all at once, usually in a not-so-ideal situation.

Try to find a hobby you enjoy which can help you de-stress. Through this hobby, you can help let that stress leave your body, and be replaced by more positive emotions. You can even try exercising, and turning that stress into your motivation.

Angry Ex: What You Should Do?

Divorce anger is something which anyone can feel. However, what if that anger is directed at you? An angry ex can be complicated to deal with. Still, there’s a few ways in which you can approach them and handle this anger…

Angry Ex: What You Should Do?

Don’t ESCALATE

When you have to deal with an angry ex, the one thing you don’t want to do is respond with anger yourself. If you escalate the situation, you’ll just make them more upset and complicate things further. Instead, it’s a much better idea to try and be empathetic towards them.

After all, many times this anger is because of the grief or blame that they’re placing on themselves. While they may take that anger out on you, they’re really more upset that things didn’t work out. Therefore, keep your cool and let them know you understand how they feel, and that you’re sad too. Eventually, they may turn around and realize their mistake.

Communicate clearly

Communication is also important for dealing with an angry ex. Being able to talk to your ex can help you work on a divorce agreement together. When you work together, you can end up with an agreement that works for the both of you. However, anger can get in the way of this communication-wise.

That’s why it’s a good idea to keep your conversations brief, yet to-the-point. Have a clear point or topic you want to discuss, and focus in on it. If your ex would rather be mean or rude, simply put a polite end the conversation for now. Very quickly, your ex will realize that they need to watch what they say.

Keep good boundaries

Boundaries are very helpful for when you have an angry ex. These are going to be your limits for what you’re willing to tolerate from them. If your ex starts to cross those boundaries, then that’s a signal that it’s time to disengage.

Not only that, but your boundaries can also apply to when and where you want to see your ex. That way, they know not to show up at places like your home or your work. Once they see what you will and will not be tolerate, they’ll shape up sooner rather than later.

Divorce Coping: Methods To Try

The process of divorcing can be very rough emotionally. As a result, it’s helpful to look into divorce coping methods. These methods can help you overcome the turmoil you might be experiencing…

Divorce Coping: Methods To Try

External help

Many people like to seek external help as part of their divorce coping plan. It can be hard to deal with all the negative emotions divorce brings. Trying to balance them and all of your divorce matter by yourself can leave you feeling worse than before. Therefore, it’s helpful to have someone help you.

A therapist or counselor is one good option. These experts can figure out what’s causing you the most distress, and come up with a plan to help you start feeling better. Still, even just talking to friends or family about how you feel can be great for getting those feelings off of your chest.

Practice gratitude

Divorcing can also leave you focusing on all the negatives you think your life has. You might think you’re never gonna find love again, or that your future plans are all out the window. However, rather than letting these negative thoughts take over, it’s better to find things to be thankful for.

Focusing on the positive things in your life is another good divorce coping strategy. Try to think about the things you have which you can be grateful for. This could be your kids, your health, and the support you have from friends and family. Finding things to appreciate can give you a new outlook on divorce.

Do self-care

A lot of people also forget to take care of themselves during divorce. They’re so focused on the divorce itself, that they don’t remember their health matters just as much. Some common issues people run into are trouble sleeping, unhealthy eating habits, and not giving themselves any kind of break.

This is why self-care is key for healthy divorce coping.You’ll find your decision making is going to be a whole lot better when you get feel healthy. Make sure to get plenty of sleep, and eat as healthy as you can. Be sure to give your brain a break from the divorce every now and then too!

Divorce Recovery: Bounce Back

Divorce can be hard to deal with, even when you’ve finished everything. That’s why it’s important to focus on your divorce recovery. There’s a few steps you can take which’ll help you start to move on with your life again…

Divorce Recovery: Turn Things Around

Focus & reflect

It’s helpful to start your divorce recovery by taking some time to focus and reflect on what’s happened. It can be tempting to try and move forward and not think about the past. However, by doing that, you won’t process the baggage you’re carrying. This can come back to hurt you, especially in future relationships.

Rather, think about the issues you had in your marriage. What was causing you guys the most distress and arguments? By reflecting on these things, you can learn what to work on and avoid in the future. This will also let you set some good goals for self-improvement.

Keep busy

Keeping busy is also helpful for your divorce recovery. Having nothing to do will have you not just be bored, but also can cause you to dwell on negative memories. Thinking about all the things you used to do with your spouse can make you feel more sad and isolated.

Therefore, it’s good to keep yourself busy. One good way to do this is by finding a new hobby or activity. It’s especially handy to try and find something that has groups which you can join. Doing so is great for making new friends.

Practice forgiveness

It’s important to practice forgiveness as part of your divorce recovery. In specific, there’s two types of forgiveness to do. First, you should forgive yourself and not place all the blame on your shoulders. There are many reasons as to why things didn’t work out, but you aren’t the only one responsible.

It’s also good to try and forgive your ex too. After all, it’s not like they went into the marriage wanting a divorce. Both of you made mistakes, so it’s good to be able to forgive and move on. Holding on to regret will just pull you down and get in the way of your recovery.