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Author: Robert Reeves

Preparing for Summer with Joint Custody

If you are preparing for summer with joint custody of your kids, you might need to re-examine your schedule. The school year and summer present different obstacles for splitting custody. If you work full time, arranging childcare can be difficult. In addition, if you or your ex have vacations planned, you may need to be flexible with your schedules. If you’re planning on sending them to summer camp, you’ll need to both be on the same page. Similarly, if you’re planning to hire a babysitter or nanny for the summer you’ll want to make sure that you both are comfortable. Finally, although summer doesn’t have a ton of holidays to work around, you should have a plan for the 4th of July and others. Hopefully, if you both are open-minded, you can come up with a summer schedule that works for everybody!

Preparing for Summer with Joint Custody of Your Kids

Planning Vacations

Summertime is when most families take vacations since the children are out of school. If you’re preparing for summer with joint custody, you’ll need to take into account your custody arrangement before planning vacations. If your schedule doesn’t give you enough time for a full vacation, talk to your ex about switching around days. They may also have a vacation they’d like to take and want to have you return the favor later for them. Staying flexible and understanding is the key to working out a plan that works for everybody.

Planning Camps

Summer with joint custody can be difficult for parents who both work full time. Without school in session, it’s hard to entertain children all day at home. Luckily, there are many summer camps available to help break up the time. You and your ex need to be on the same page with what camps you’d like to send your children to. Financially, you need to establish boundaries as well. Hopefully, you can come to an agreement in regards to who is paying for summer camp, which camp the kids are going to, and what the pickup/drop-off schedule will look like.

Summer Help

If you’re facing summer with joint custody, you may be looking into hiring help. A nanny or babysitter can be a huge benefit to working parents when the kids are home from school. Kids respond well to consistency, so talk to your ex about hiring the same nanny. You could even coordinate it so that the nanny is able to drive the kids to and from your respective houses on days when you switch custody. Just make sure that you are on the same page with who is paying for which days so that you don’t leave your summer help in the lurch. Also, make sure that both parties are comfortable with whoever you hire.

Holidays

Finally, you need to consider holidays when planning for summer with joint custody. While summer doesn’t have too many holidays to deal with, you’ll need to figure out the plan for Memorial Day, Fourth of July, and Labor Day. Some partners choose to switch off years for special holidays, but you can handle them however you’d like. Also, remember that Mother’s Day and Father’s Day take place in May and June. Try to be understanding if your ex wants the kids for their respective day because you’ll probably want them for your holiday too. It’s also a kind gesture to help the kids make something special for the holiday.

Summer with joint custody doesn’t have to be a huge headache if you just prepare in advance and try to be understanding. Being flexible with your partner often results in them being flexible when you want to change things. Especially if you’re wanting to re-arrange days based on vacations. Also, plan for summer camp or a summer nanny if you’re both working full time. Finally, don’t forget to make a plan for the summer holidays like the Fourth of July. Hopefully, with a little planning ahead and some understanding, you can have a great summer!

Prenups and Postnups: What’s the Difference?

If you are engaged and discussing financials, you might be wondering what the difference is between prenuptial and postnuptial agreements. Prenups and postnups both determine how a couple will divide their assets in the event of a divorce. The biggest difference is that prenups occur before marriage and postnups occur after a couple is married. A couple usually considers these types of agreements if one person is bringing a lot more wealth to the relationship and wants to protect those assets. Or if one is expecting to inherit large sums of money. Although both have their critics, many find that these types of agreements are the best way to protect your financial wealth.

Prenups and Postnups: What’s the Difference and Do You Need One?

What is a Prenup?

Prenups and postnups are very similar in concept, they just occur at different times. A prenuptial is an agreement between two prospective spouses that determines how their assets will be divided if they divorce. A lot of people feel that a prenup is anti-romantic. They think that it means a couple is already assuming they’ll divorce before they even get married. However, in the US, 50% of marriages end in divorce. Realistically, prenups are a wise choice to protect your financial security.

Who Needs a Prenup?

A couple might discuss prenups and postnups if one partner is bringing more money into the marriage than the other. Similarly, if one has a large estate or is going to inherit a lot of money, they may want one. A prenup prevents a couple from going through a long, drawn-out divorce if they decide to end their marriage. Prenups are especially common for people entering their second, third, or fourth marriages.

What is a Postnup?

Prenups and postnups are very similar, however, a postnup occurs after a couple marries. Other than timing, it’s basically the same as a prenuptial agreement. These have become more common in recent years. They are now legal in all 50 states. Like a prenup, a postnup decides how your assets will be divided in the case of your marriage ending. Similar to prenups, they don’t make any concessions regarding your children or future children.

Who Needs a Postnup?

Since prenups and postnups are so similar, you might be wondering why some opt for postnups. The main reason is simple convenience. Often, the planning stage of an engagement is so stressful and busy that a couple simply doesn’t have time to sit down and draw up a prenup. If this is the case, they’ll often decide to do a postnup instead. This is also an option for couples who feel that the conversation will be awkward and would rather wait until after they marry to have it. Like a prenup, postnups are encouraged if partners are bringing significantly different amounts of wealth into a marriage.

The bottom line is that prenups and postnups are very similar. The only difference between them is that prenuptial take place before marriage and postnuptials occur after the couple says “I do.” However, both of them are legal agreements that spell out what will happen to financial assets in the case of a divorce. If you decide that you and your partner should come to an agreement on either a prenup or postnup, you should consult an experienced attorney. They’ll help guide you through the process and make sure that you are protected financially in the case of your marriage dissolving. Hopefully, you’ll never need to go through the stress of a divorce, but if you do, having a prenup or postnup will make the process much easier.

Divorce Announcements: What To Know

Divorce is a pretty private and personal matter. However, there’ll come a time when you need to let others know that you’re getting a divorce. Making divorce announcements can be pretty tricky. Still, there are a few ways you can make these announcements easier…

Divorce Announcements: Doing It Right

Who to tell

Divorce announcements don’t need to be made to everyone you know. Instead, it can be better to focus on those who are the closest to you. These are the ones who may have the most shakeup from your divorce, aside from you, your spouse, and your kids. As such, it’s good to tell them before others.

Of course, you should tell your kids first. Be sure you do so together and in a way that your kids can understand. From there, you should then tell your close family. After that, it’s good to let your close friends know. As they will be a large part of your support network, the sooner you tell them, the sooner they can help you.

What to say

Aside from who you tell, you also have to consider what you say in these announcements. This will mainly depend on what kind of announcements you want to make. Plus, you should also think about what to say when other people ask you if you’re getting a divorce.

In-person announcements are good for when you want to have a serious and personal talk with those like your friends and family. Here, you can go into some more detail as to why you’re divorcing, and how you feel. For others who you don’t really want to talk to, you can simply give them a brief statement saying that while you are divorcing, you don’t want to talk about it and want your privacy respected.

Preparing for responses

You should consider too what people may say in response to your divorce announcements. For instance, your kids may have a very strong and emotional response. Meanwhile, while your friends and family may be shocked, they’ll also probably be supportive. Sometimes, though, you may get a reaction you don’t expect.

It’s possible that someone you considered to be close to you will respond poorly to your divorce. As such, they may start trying to lay blame for it on you. When this happens, it’s important that you don’t pay it any mind, as they don’t understand what’s really going on. Don’t try and get into an argument, and instead, just say you’re sorry they feel that way and end your conversation there.

Prepare Your Finances for Divorce

Divorce is an expensive endeavor. You need to prepare your finances for divorce before you’ve even started the process. Both you and your partner should have representation by an attorney that will be able to help you navigate the divorce. You’ll want to start tracking your spending before you even begin proceedings. Next, you’ll want to gather documentation for everything finance-related. And it’s always a good idea to wait to make big financial decisions until the divorce is finalized. Preparing ahead of time will hopefully help make your divorce less complicated and less drawn-out.

Prepare Your Finances for Divorce: Get Everything in Order

Find an Attorney

The first step to prepare your finances for divorce is to enlist the help of an experienced attorney. Every aspect of divorce is confusing and complicated. But the financials can be especially overwhelming. An attorney will help you navigate all the decisions, and might bring up things that you wouldn’t have even known to ask for. Hopefully, you’ll only go through the divorce process one time, so you’ll want somebody with tons of experiences on your side representing your best interests.

Track Your Budget

Before you even begin the process you should prepare your finances for divorce by tracking your budget and spending. You can start this before you’ve even told your partner you want a divorce. Keep a list of money coming in and money going out for several months so that you have a good sense of where every dime goes each month. You don’t need to change your spending habits, just track them. And remember to include things that seem like one-time expenses like car repairs or a broken refrigerator. Tracking your budget will give your attorney a great overview of your spending and will allow them to know how to best represent your interests. It will also help the judge determine how to split your assets.

Gather Documentation

The next step you want to take to prepare your finances for divorce is to gather evidence of your assets. You’ll want records of your bank accounts, mortgages, investments, and statements. If your divorce is not an amicable one, your partner may try to hide these documents from you. So it’s best to prepare as early as possible and gather all of this early in the proceedings. Know that banks and other institutions are allowed to tell your spouse that you’ve asked for the info if you share the accounts. You’ll give all of this to your attorney so they can get a clear picture of your financial history.

Wait to Make Financial Decisions

Finally, an important tip to remember when you want to prepare your finances for divorce is to wait to make big financial decisions until it’s over. This is because you won’t really know how your assets will be divided until the process has ended. Therefore, you might have more or less money to use on financial decisions than you thought. You’ll also want to wait to change any wills, beneficiary documents, and insurance policies until after the divorce is finalized.

The prospect of going through a divorce is daunting, but it is helpful to prepare your finances for divorce as soon as you can. Enlist the help of an attorney early on. They’ll be able to help you navigate the process. It’s a great idea to start tracking your budget before you’ve even approached the subject with your spouse. You’ll also want to gather any documentation of your finances. And finally, remember not to make big financial decisions or changes until after the divorce is over. That way, you’ll know how everything shakes out and will know where you stand financially. Hopefully, with these tips, you’ll be able to handle the financial aspects of divorce without being overwhelmed.

How-to: Know if You’re Ready to Date Again

Putting yourself out there to date again after a divorce can bring up many different emotions. You may feel overwhelmed and unsure where to start, nervous and skeptical, or even excited about the chance to start over. Some people may even get cold feet and decide they are not actually ready to look for a new partner again. If you are in this season of life, there is a lot to consider. Here are some things to think about to know if you’re ready to date again.

How-to Know if You’re Ready to Date Again: Dating After Divorce

Time

Has your divorce not even been finalized yet? Or did it just become official a week ago? If so, you should probably wait a little bit to get back until another relationship. You do not want to jump back into a new relationship just as a rebound. You just went through a major life change, filled with many charged emotions.

Even if you feel like you are ready to go, processing these types of things take time. While you may have been the one who instigated the divorce, you will still have to mourn the loss of that relationship and heal hurt wounds. Give yourself some time to go through this process, and focus on yourself before you’re ready to date again. Depending on how long you were married, you may not even have a clear picture of who you are as an individual at this time. Take some time to rediscover yourself.

Right Reasons

Be very thoughtful about the reasons why you think you’re ready to date again. Some people feel like they have to be in a relationship to be happy. Do not jump into something just because you do not want to be alone. Also, don’t start dating someone just because everyone else in your circle has a partner. Also, do not start dating someone just to please other people like your family. Take the time to truly make sure you have healed from your divorce and are ready to be open and vulnerable again.

Self-Reflection and Improvement

In the meantime, take this opportunity to reflect on your failed marriage and work towards becoming the best version of yourself that you can be. In an unhealthy marriage, there were likely negative traits and behaviors coming from both parties. Take time to figure out your weak points, and talk to a counselor or find ways to work through these issues. You do not want to bring bad habits into a new relationship.

How-to: Take On Being a Single Dad

Being a single parent can be tough. Everyone always focuses on single moms, but what about single dads? Whether you are a single dad due to divorce, a failed relationship, or the death of a spouse, this role will be tough, but rewarding. It will take some time to get into the swing of things, and there will be both good and bad times that come with it. However, no matter what your background or experience is, here are some tips on how to take on being a single dad.

How-to: Take On Being a Single Dad- Parenting Journey

Routines

One of the most difficult parts of adjusting to not having another parent at home with you is getting routines in place. This is something you be faced with on day 1 of being a single dad. There will likely be more to do and not as much help. You will have to juggle grocery shopping, meal planning, and prep. There will be cleaning and chores, plus keeping track of school, homework, and functions. Understand that you are human, and just one person, and that there is only so much you can do. Try your best, and know that you are doing the best you can. If you mess up, it is okay. Just brush it off and learn from it.

Raising a Daughter

It may feel daunting to raise a daughter while being a single dad. There will be so many things you feel you will not be able to relate to or handle without having a mother-figure present too. Just take it now step at a time, and focus on her basic needs. While girls are different, they need many of the same basic things that boys do. For example, food, shelter, clothes, and love. For the other things, try and find one or several strong, female role model figures to be present in your daughter’s life.

Dealing with Loss

When you become a single dad, it will be due to some sort of loss. This could be a loss of a relationship, the end of a marriage, or even the death of a spouse. Whatever this may be, you will go through a period of grieving. At the same time, your children will also have experienced the loss of their two parents being together or even a parent passing away. You will have to work through your own grief at the same time as helping your kids through the process.

All About Alimony and Child Support

Alimony and child support can be confusing when people discuss separation and divorce. However, the two are very different. Alimony is money that one spouse gives to another during or after a separation. Child support is money that a spouse gives to another for the purposes of meeting their childrens’ needs. Both are determined by a number of factors and are decided on by a judge. An experienced attorney can help guide you through the processes associated with both of these family law facets.

All About Alimony and Child Support

What is Alimony

Alimony and child support are very different things. You can also call alimony “spousal support.” Alimony isn’t automatic, so you’ll need to ask for it if you feel like you deserve to get help from your ex. The purpose of it is to help you keep living a similar lifestyle to how you were living before your divorce. Alimony might come as a lump sum, a property division, or a monthly payment.

Deciding Alimony

Alimony and child support are both decided in court. One of the factors that a judge might consider is the amount of money that each spouse makes. Additionally, they’ll look at living expenses for both. The length of the marriage is also a factor sometimes. Finally, the way that you split assets in a divorce can affect alimony.

What is Child Support

Alimony and child support are mostly different because of the purpose of the money. A spouse gives alimony to keep the other spouse living the same way as before the split. However, child support is very different. As its name implies, you give child support to a spouse to help support your joint children. You can use child support for food, clothing, housing, schooling, or medical needs for the kids.

Deciding Child Support

Like alimony, child support is a court decision. Both of these facets of family law have similar factors at play. For example, a judge will look at incomes for both parents. They will also consider the way assets split in a divorce. Child support might last until your children are eighteen, or you could decide on a different time frame.

Alimony and child support are sometimes confusing but are very different concepts. Child support is money that a spouse pays to another to help support their children. Alimony is money that a spouse pays to help support their ex. Both should be decided on by a judge in court. Therefore, having a knowledgeable attorney guide you through the process is absolutely imperative.

The Pros and Cons of a Prenup Agreement

Prenuptial agreements are a hot-button topic in the wedding world. There are several pros and cons of a prenup agreement that you should consider before discussing one with your partner. They can be a way of securing financial stability for the future. However, often they are seen as a romance killer and can cause prickly feelings between partners. If you’re wanting to approach the conversation about prenups, bring it up early in your engagement. Be willing to hear your partner’s concerns, and be open to negotiations. Hopefully, if you decide to go the route of a prenup, you’ll be able to come to an agreement that works for both parties.

The Pros and Cons of a Prenup Agreement: Should I Ask my Partner for One?

What is a Prenup Agreement

When considering the pros and cons of a prenup agreement, it’s important to fully understand what they are. A prenuptial agreement is a signed contract between two people who want to marry. The agreement spells out exactly what would happen to their financial assets in a divorce. It’s a way to prepare for the financial future if anything were to go wrong in a marriage. You should each have your own representation. Make sure an experienced attorney creates the prenup, and that you both have proof of your representation. Make sure and have the prenup notarized.

Positives of Prenup Agreement

There are many pros and cons of a prenup agreement. The most important positive is that a prenup creates a set guideline for your financial future in the event of a divorce. For example, it can lay out what happens with jointly owned property. Another positive is that it establishes that you and your partner can talk about finances early on in your marriage. Unfortunately, money problems are one of the most common reasons for divorce. Therefore, discussing finances upfront sets a good pattern for tackling money issues together. A prenup can also protect your children’s assets from a previous marriage. In addition, a prenup will protect any money you’ve accumulated on your own before marriage.

Cons of a Prenup Agreement

When considering the pros and cons of a prenup agreement, it’s important to remember that they are controversial. Many people feel that prenups are bad luck in an engagement. They look at them as if you’re preparing for a divorce before you’re even married. In addition, some partners can feel attacked or judged if you present them with a prenup. This is because it makes them feel like you value your wealth over their feelings. Prenups can give the impression that you don’t believe the marriage will last forever.

How to Approach the Conversation

If you’ve weighed the pros and cons of a prenup agreement and decided that you want to ask for one, it’s best to start the conversation early. Don’t spring a prenup on your partner the day before your marriage. Instead, begin the conversation early on in your engagement. Use it as a way of showing that you’re comfortable discussing finances with each other. Remember that your partner might have strong feelings about prenups, and reassure them of your commitment. Be open to hearing their concerns. You should both consult attorneys if you decide to move forward with a prenup. Be prepared to negotiate the terms.

There are significant pros and cons of a prenup agreement to think about. While nobody wants to go into a marriage thinking of divorce, it is very common. If you’re a practical person, you might see the positives of preparing for your financial future as necessary in case a divorce happens. However, the cons of a prenup are that they can make your partner feel as though you aren’t committed. Try to approach the conversation calmly and early on in your engagement. Give your partner time to think things through and negotiate. Hopefully, even if you do sign a prenup, you’ll never need to think about it again.

How-to: Bring Up Divorce with Your Spouse

If you’ve tried everything and your marriage just isn’t working, you might be considering divorce. This is an impossible decision to make, but sometimes it’s the right thing for a couple. If you’re trying to bring up divorce with your spouse, prepare ahead of time. Choose the right time and setting to have a calm discussion. Be firm with your wants and needs. And finally, don’t discuss details, but instead, make a plan to get professional help. Although the process of divorce is difficult, it might mean that you and your ex are happier in the long run.

How-to: Bring up Divorce with Your Spouse: Set the Right Tone

Prepare Ahead of Time

If you want to bring up a divorce with your spouse, prepare ahead of time. Research the process of divorce in your area so you know what to expect. In some places, you’ll need to separate for a while before the divorce. Figure out how long the divorce can take, and make a plan for what you’d like to get out of it. If you have children, consider how you want their lives to look post-divorce. Try and pinpoint where your partner stands in your relationship. Do they think things are going well and will be blindsided by the conversation? Or are you both on the same page? Try to mentally prepare for their reaction.

Choose the Right Time and Place

Never bring up divorce with your spouse in the middle of an argument. Instead, pick a time when you’ll both be uninterrupted. Arrange for children to be with somebody else so they won’t be a distraction. Avoid bringing up divorce in already overly stressful situations. For example, after the death of a family member or a layoff. Make sure that you have plenty of time set aside. Your conversation could take hours, so make sure you can devote the proper focus to it.

Be Calm and Firm

When you bring up a divorce with your spouse, try to stay calm. If you approach them in anger, they’ll be more likely to respond in a negative way. However, if you bring it up in a calm manner, you will probably get further. Be firm with what you want out of the divorce and why you’re asking for it. That way they’ll know that you’re serious and not just bringing it up because you’re temporarily hurt or angry.

Don’t Discuss Details

There will be a myriad of details to sort out after you bring up a divorce with your spouse. However, try not to discuss minor decisions at this time. Don’t discuss dividing up property or belongings. And try not to discuss custody arrangements. You should have a professional assisting you with these discussions. Instead, decide on how to proceed in general terms. Figure out when you’ll reach out to a divorce attorney. Also, figure out what you’d like your timeline to be.

There are so many things to consider when trying to bring up a divorce with your spouse. Try and set the stage for a positive discussion by preparing ahead of time. Make sure you choose the right time and place and stay calm and firm so they know you’re serious. Finally, wait to figure out the details until you have proper help from a professional. Unfortunately, no matter how hard you might wish a marriage could work out, sometimes it just isn’t right. But moving forward with divorce means that you’re one step closer to being happier.

Practicing Self-Care During a Divorce

Any divorce, no matter how healthy, comes with a lot of stress. Practicing self-care during a divorce is important for your mental health. Although they may not take all your stress away, things like focusing on the positive, picking up a new hobby, going outside, and splurging on yourself can help you feel happier.

Practicing Self-Care During a Divorce : Divorce and Mental Health

Focusing on the Positive

Focusing on the things in life that make you happy can be a great way of practicing self-care during a divorce. One way to do this is to focus on gratitude. For instance, a lot of people like to name three things that they’re grateful for when they wake up every morning. This starts your day off on a positive note, rather than focusing on the negative. Do you have family and friends who are supportive? Are you healthy? Try to remind yourself of the good things in your life every day.

Starting a New Hobby

Starting a new hobby, or picking up an old one again, are great ways to distract yourself from your divorce. For example, painting, yoga, reading, knitting, golfing, or any activity you find interesting. Even hobbies that don’t require much of a learning curve, like puzzles and adult coloring books can be very calming. Who knew that practicing the violin could also double as practicing self-care during a divorce?

Soaking Up Some Sunshine

Getting some good ol’ vitamin D is one of the easiest forms of practicing self-care during a divorce you can do for yourself, yet it’s one that often gets overlooked. Go for a walk or just sit in a sunny spot for a while. Exercise is another great way to give yourself some self-care, and it has the added bonus of making your body healthier at the same time. Many cities have meet-up groups for adults to play sports like kickball, softball, and volleyball. It’s a great way to connect with other people, get outside, and distract yourself from the stress of your divorce. Here is a link to some local meet-up groups.

Splurging on Yourself

Sometimes the best way to deal with stress is to treat yourself to something fun, and splurging is a perfect example of practicing self-care during a divorce. One example would be to pick out a new shampoo or bath bomb and treat yourself to a bubble bath. You could also buy yourself that new tennis racquet you’ve had your eye on for months, or a nice dinner at your favorite restaurant. However, it’s important to remember that splurging doesn’t always have to mean spending a lot of money. You could just splurge and spend time watching your favorite TV show or re-reading a favorite book.

However, you choose to manage your stress, practicing self-care during a divorce is very important. You are going through a difficult situation and you need to take time to take care of your mental well-being.