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Author: Robert Reeves

Sell or Keep the Family Home: Post-Divorce

After a divorce, it can be difficult to decide if you should sell or keep the family home. There are plenty of factors that play into this. Everyone’s situation will be different…

Sell or Keep the Family Home: Factors to Consider

Finances

Your financial situation will play a big role in deciding if you should sell or keep the family home after a divorce. Based on your situation, you may have the option to sell the home and split the profit. Another option may be to buy out your spouse to keep the house. You will need to determine which is a better option for you financially.

You may have to speak with a financial advisor or an accountant to see which option is going to be the best financially. Keep in mind there are a lot of financial responsibilities that come with owning a house. You don’t want to start a new chapter of your life with expenses and debt you can’t handle. 

Eligibility for a Mortgage 

Additionally, while deciding if you should sell or keep the family home, you should check to see if you could qualify for a mortgage, if needed. In some cases, one spouse may not be approved to carry a mortgage on their own. This is especially true if they were a non-income earning spouse. You certainly don’t want to make a decision based on thinking you could easily buy another house without making sure you are eligible for a mortgage.

Children

If you have children, especially ones in school, they could be a factor in deciding if you should sell or keep the family home. It can be difficult to uproot children and move them to a different school. Therefore, this may play a role in you deciding to keep you in your current home. Research the schools in the new area you may be considering so that you can make an informed decision. 

A New Start

Sometimes, you may just need a brand new start. A home can hold a lot of memories and emotions. Selling a home can give you the opportunity for a new start. Whether that move is locally, or long-distance, moving into a completely new home may be a deciding factor in whether or not to sell or keep the family home. 

Divorce comes with many difficult decisions to make. Deciding if you should keep or sell the family home could be one of them. Take your time, do your research, and think it through so that you make sure you’re making the right decision.

Keep Active During Divorce

The combination of COVID-19 and the emotional stress of divorce can make it hard to find motivation. As a result, you may end up seeing your health suffer as a result. Therefore, it’s good to find ways to keep active during divorce.  That way, you can stay healthy and motivated during these tougher times…

Keep Active During Divorce: What To Try

At-home workouts

These days, most places have had their gyms closed for months. Even if you live at a place which has them open, you may not feel so comfortable going back just yet. At the same time, you may not be sure as to what you can do exercise-wise without the usual gym equipment.

In reality, you don’t need a lot to do at-home workouts. Just some basic equipment will be enough to get you going. That’s what makes these workouts so good for when you want to keep active during divorce. Not only can you get some exercise in, but you can also more easily work it into your schedule.

Bike riding

Riding a bike can also be another good way to keep active during divorce. For starters, it helps get you out and about instead of being stuck inside the house. Plus, it adds a bit of variety aside from just walking or running.

The biggest thing to keep in mind when biking is safety. You should always wear safety gear like a helmet, no matter where you’re biking at. However, if you’re going to be biking on the roads, just make sure you know how to safely share the road with the drivers out there.

Yoga

Instead of something intensive, maybe you’re looking to a more-calming way to keep active during divorce. This is where yoga can come in handy. Yoga provides you with a way to keep active, especially at the house, without needing to do anything as intensive as other alternative workouts.

You don’t even need that much to get into yoga proper. A simple yoga mat and some open space is all you need to get started! As for what you can do, there’s plenty of guides and walk-through exercises online which can give you some direction and help you find your flow.

2-2-3 Schedule: Strike A Balance

One of the trickiest parts of co-parenting can be settling on a schedule. However, a popular model that many parents like to use is the 2-2-3 schedule. This plan could help you find a good balance that helps smooth out the rest of your co-parenting plans…

2-2-3 Schedule: How It Works

Basic breakdown

A 2-2-3 schedule is a pretty straightforward system. Basically, one parent will have the kids for 2 days in the week. Then, the other parent will have the kids for the next 2 days. Finally, the kids will go back to the first parent for the last 3 days of the week. With the start of the next week, the schedule will switch.

So with this schedule, you would have the kids on Monday and Tuesday. Then, your co-parent would have them on Wednesday and Thursday, before you get them back for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. This then makes it easy to have you switch days next week.

The pros

There’s a good number of pros which come with a 2-2-3 schedule. For starters, it allows for both parents to see the kids throughout the week. It also does a good job in keeping that time you spend with them equal. Plus, it isn’t all that difficult to put it into practice, which makes it easy to get going.

Due to these factors, it’s a good schedule for reducing potential conflict. You won’t have to worry about arguing with your spouse over getting an even amount of time spend with the kids. Your kids will also not have to go very long without seeing their other parent, which can be especially good in those early stages after the divorce.

Potentials cons

Still, there are some things you should keep in mind about a 2-2-3 schedule. Mainly, it will require a good amount of coordination. You and your co-parent will have to make time for picking up or dropping off the kids, which can be hard if you’re already dealing with communication issues.

It could also be the case that the constant changes end up putting more stress on the kids then you initially realize. Instead, it could be better for them to spend more time at one house and get into a routine. Like with all co-parenting schedules, you’ll want to be flexible and make any changes as needed!

Divorce Coaching: Potential Benefits

Having to go through a divorce alone can be pretty daunting. Therefore, it could be worthwhile to get some divorce coaching. Meeting with a coach could help you handle the new difficulties and challenges which come with divorce…

Divorce Coaching: Ways It Can Help

Develop a plan

Many people tend to feel lost when going through their divorce. It can be difficult to know what you should be doing and what you should avoid. This can very quickly become overwhelming and make things much more difficult for you. That’s why divorce coaching can be handy.

A coach can help you come up with a general plan of action. Not just that, but they’ll also work with you to make a post-divorce plan as well. That way, not only will you have some good guidance now, but you’ll also have an idea of where to start when the divorce is over too.

Talking with your ex

Another time divorce coaching is helpful is when you struggle with talking to your ex. It can be awkward to talk now that you’re divorcing one another. However, it’s important to do so effectively, especially if you’re going to be co-parents after everything is over.

Meeting with a coach can teach you helpful ways to find some common ground with your ex. This will help make it easier for the both of you to talk with each other. Still, it could be the case that there’s a lot of tension remaining between you and your ex. A coach can also help you figure out ways to de-escalate things and keep the peace.

Keep your cool

A person’s emotions tend to run pretty high when they’re divorcing. All the stress can get the better of you and really make you feel frustrated, angry, anxious, or depressed. Divorce coaching can teach you healthy ways to manage these emotions so you can keep your cool.

It’s important to keep your emotions in check for several reasons. Aside from the health benefits, it’ll help you make sure your emotions don’t interfere with your decision making. It can also help you talk to your ex without getting worked up.

Divorced Parents

Trying to grapple with being divorced and being a parent can be pretty hard. That’s why many divorced parents tend to run into the same problems and make very similar mistakes. However, knowing what these mistakes are can help you better see how you can best avoid them…

Divorced Parents: What To Avoid Doing

Using the kids as messengers

Many divorced parents struggle with talking to one another after splitting up. Depending on what either caused the divorce or how it went, it can be tough to talk effectively. As a result, they may instead try and have their kids talk for them. Usually, this means having them be a messenger as they go between households.

By doing this, though, you’re effectively placing them right in the middle of your personal problems with each other. While you may not see your ex in a good light anymore, your kids still just see you both as their parents. Putting them in this role can make them feel bad and strain your relationship with them, which is why you want to avoid it entirely.

 Initiating constant fights

Something else divorced parents should avoid is always looking for a way to pick fights. Now, you and your ex are not going to agree on everything. This is why you’ll want to make a good co-parenting plan with some flexibility in it. Being too rigid or combative will just really hurt your kids in the long run.

For example, if your kids are doing things when they’re with their ex that maybe you wouldn’t do, don’t rush to fight them about it. Instead, take a moment and think about if it’s really a big issue. If not, then it doesn’t make sense to pick a fight about something which isn’t hurting your kids.

Thinking the kids can’t tell what’s going on

Divorced parents tend to believe that their kids can’t detect the tension between them. While you may both not like being around each other anymore, you’ll try and pretend for the sake of your kids. The thing is, your kids can definitely tell and see what’s going on.

Therefore, you need to actually try and come to a real peace and understanding with one another. Constantly being tense is just going to make your kids anxious and on-edge when you’re around each other. As long as you try your best and keep things cool, then your kids will feel a lot more relaxed.

Home Business Post-Divorce: Making Moves

Many people struggle with going back to work after their divorce. For some, they’d rather try and do things their way with a home business post-divorce. While it can be tricky, it can also open up a new, and potentially lucrative, chapter in your life…

Home Business Post-Divorce: How To Prep

Find your niche

When starting a home business post-divorce, you first need to find your niche. The appeal of a home-based business is that it lets you appeal to markets which other major brands may look over. Where they may not see a profit, you could potentially have many loyal customers who are willing to pay for what you have to offer.

However, you need to make sure it’s something which you can properly apply your skills to. You don’t want to invest all your money into something you have no prior knowledge about! Take things slowly, do your research, and find an area you think you can tap into. That way, you avoid potentially getting stuck in an over-saturated or nonexistent market.

Take your time

It’s important to not rush into creating your home business post-divorce. Trying to simply rush and get things going will more than likely set your venture up for failure. It may take some time and require you to do some traditional work in the meantime as you save funds and get things off the ground.

The two major things you want to have are a good workspace at home and enough funds to get up and running. A good home workspace will encourage you to view your work as serious, even when at the house. Additionally, having plenty of funds will ensure you can cover your costs, especially in the early months when you’re trying to get sales going.

Don’t forget to take breaks

It can be exciting and stressful to set up a home business post-divorce. Still, you have to remember to not push yourself too hard. After all, you’re still recovering from all the stress and changes that came with your divorce.

That’s why you’ll want to make sure you take time to relax. Your mental and physically health should always take priority. It’s okay if it takes longer than expected to get your business running. Starting later but much more prepared is better than rushing and only scraping by!

Quarantine Life Post-Divorce: Refocusing & Adjusting

The ongoing COVID-19 situation has caused a lot of people to make changes to their lives. When coming fresh off of a divorce, you’re facing a new and confusing time. Quarantine life post-divorce will take some getting used to. However, there are ways to make the process easier…

Quarantine Life Post-Divorce: How To Adjust

Try to re-focus

When starting your quarantine life post-divorce, there’s going to be a whole lot of things running through your head. Usually, you’d have to consider all the new changes you’d need to make, which is taxing enough. Now, you have to think about how the quarantine may impact them, making it a whole lot more confusing.

Therefore, don’t get too caught up in all these thoughts. Instead, take a moment and re-focus yourself. Sit down and write out a list of all the things that you need to change or plan for because of the divorce. This makes it a lot easier to go one-by-one and see how the situation may influence them.

Consider work options

For many people, financial concerns are at the top of their quarantine life post-divorce worries. It’s already hard to go from a dual-income household to a single-income one. Or, it could be that your former spouse brought in more of the income while you stayed at home. Grappling with these changes in the middle of the quarantine can feel impossible.

However, it’s certainly possible to find work still. While it’ll be more competitive, you just need to make sure your skills and talents set you apart from the rest. Consider your options thoroughly, especially based on your new budget, and you can find a market which you fit into.

Prioritize safety

If you’re a parent, then your kids are another area of concern for your quarantine life post-divorce. On the one hand, you and your ex probably have some kind of co-parenting plan set up. Yet, the quarantine situation could make that plan a bit harder to pull off.

In this case, you should both prioritize the kids’ safety above all else. This could mean making some changes to your co-parenting plan, such as when you change who is watching them or how you communicate. While it can be tough, it’s ultimately best to make sure they stay healthy.

Divorce Immune System

Divorce usually brings a lot of stress along with it. This stress can end up having a negative impact on your health, and your body’s ability to fight off sickness. With the COVID-19 pandemic currently going on, it’s especially important to boost your divorce immune system. Taking a few extra steps can help keep your body healthy…

Divorce Immune System: Keep Healthy

Change your lifestyle

Making some lifestyle changes is a great way to improve your divorce immune system. Doing some exercising, for instance, can help get rid of harmful bacteria from the lungs. It’s also great for promoting white blood cell and antibody production.

Eating healthier foods is also good for our body’s immune system. So can getting 7-8 hours of good sleep each night. Plus, not only will it help keep you healthy, but these steps will also help you feel a lot less stressed.

Have a healthy space

The environment you’re in is also important for your divorce immune system. It might seem odd to think that doing some redecorating can help keep you healthy. However, it’s all about reducing that stress. If you can make your home feel welcoming and inviting, it’ll mean you’ll be less stressed overall.

You may not have the money for a massive remodeling effort, but that’s okay! Even making some minor layout or color changes can go a long way. Having a nice, organized home can help you feel calm and centered, rather than anxious or worried. This means your body gets to focus more on making sure you stay healthy.

Take extra precautions

With everything that’s going on related to COVID-19, it’s now more important than ever to take extra precautions. Constantly exposing yourself to potential infection is not something you’ll want to do, even if you have a strong divorce immune system. Therefore, be sure you do all you can to keep yourself protected.

In general, it’s best to limit how much you need to go out. When you do need to head outside, try to wear a face mask and practice good social distancing as best as you can. Make sure you frequently wash your hands or use hand sanitizer, both while you’re out and once you get back home.

Post-Divorce Job Interview

A divorce might mean you need to get back into the job-hunting game. However, what if you’ve landed an interview? Prepping for a post-divorce job interview can be a bit stressful. Still, there are some key things that you’ll want to focus on…

Post-Divorce Job Interview: Get Prepped

Do some research

It’s a good idea to do some research on the company before your post-divorce job interview. Now, you don’t need to dig into every single detail. But, it’s a good idea to have some basic info about the company’s background, clients, and services. Many companies will have this all accessible on their websites or social media.

Take another look at the job description for the role you applied to as well. There may be some things which you aren’t too familiar with compared to the rest. Doing some research on these skills or tasks can help you get familiar with them and see how your previous experiences can tie into them.

 Practice, practice, practice

You’ll want to practice as you can for your post-divorce job interview. Going into the interview blind can make you feel anxious and not leave a good impression. By comparison, doing some practice can help calm your nerves and get you prepared for the interviewer’s questions.

Some common questions tend to be about how much you know about the company, why you want to work there, your work style, strengths and weaknesses, and future career goals. Therefore, it helps to plan out general responses for these types of questions. When you know they’re coming, you can format answers and fit them into whatever the interviewer is asking.

Keep it natural

Remember that in a post-divorce job interview, it’s not just about the questions. The interviewer is also looking at how you respond. If you seem very nervous, anxious, and overall uncertain, then it may not matter how good your answers are.

That’s why you should try and treat your interview like a normal conversation. Take a moment to process the questions, and answer calm and thoughtfully. Keep your cool and stay focused, even if the interviewer tries to challenge you a bit. Remember: if you can keep composed here, then you’re showing them you can do the same on the job.

Post-Divorce Debt: Management Methods

Divorce can sometimes be costly, and as such it helps to prepare a bit financially. Still, even with a good plan, you might find yourself with some post-divorce debt. This debt is definitely something you’ll want to get under control. There’s a few things you can do to help get it down to a manageable level…

Post-Divorce Debt: Financial Impact of Divorce

Re-evaluate your budget

Your post-divorce debt is probably going to require you to take a new look at your budget. As you go away from a double-income household to a single-income one, your past budget may not work as well as it used to. Plus, you’ll probably have some additional expenses to manage. Among these will be your debt.

Therefore, take the time and plan out a potential new budget. Consider your necessary expenses, and how much income you make. This can help you see if you can cut spending in one area to help with debt payments, or if you may need to consider looking for a better-paying job.

Set up payment plans

Another helpful way to handle post-divorce debt is by having payment plans. Not paying your debt at all can quickly add up as extra interest is accumulated. Now, some places may give forgiveness for one or two months missed. Still, if it becomes a habit, then your debt will continue to mount and things like your credit will suffer.

Instead, you can see about setting up a payment plan. Usually, these will let you set up automatic payments for debt payments every month. You may also be able to set up adjusted payments. This can see you making smaller, more manageable monthly payments, but making more of them over a longer period of time.

Consider all your strategies

Of course, the best thing to do with post-divorce debt is to pay it off. However, it’s entirely possible that you just don’t have the extra money to do so. Rather than just let those bills pile up, you should take the time to consider all of your potential options.

For example, if you have good credit, you may want to think about debt consolidation. This puts all your debt together and can lower your interest rate. You might also want to consider debt management, settlement, and in extreme cases, bankruptcy. Just note that these can have a negative impact on your credit in exchange for helping you control or remove your debt.