There is no reason to be ashamed if your marriage did not work out. However, it is easy to feel shame. Sometimes things just do not work out in a marriage, and that is okay. As long as you tried your best and put in the effort to make things work, there is no reason to be feeling shame about divorce.
How-to Get Past Feeling Shame About Divorce: Embracing Your New Path
Give Yourself Grace
Being angry towards yourself or others is not healthy. If you are always angry, you will be unable to find inner peace. A good first step would be to give your ex and yourself grace. It may be hard to feel compassion and give grace towards your ex, but just know that both of you are doing the best you can. Once you stop hating your ex, you will begin to develop a positivity and inner peace. This inner peace will help alleviate your feeling shame about divorce.
Challenge Negative Thoughts
Do not let your thoughts control you. Just because you have a thought does not mean it is real or true. When you have negative thoughts about yourself, start to question those thoughts. Ask yourself: is this true? What is the evidence for and against this belief? Does this way of thinking hurt or help? What would change in my life if I didn’t have this thought? You will be on a path towards no longer feeling shame about divorce once you move past judging yourself.
Surround Yourself with Positivity
In many cases, is true that you are who you surround yourself with. If you only hang around people who are very negative, you will start to feel that way too. In order to stop feeling shame about divorce, surround yourself with positive people. These people will lift you up instead of bringing you down. Spend less time with negative people, especially those who make you feel bad about yourself.
This time of change is a great opportunity to make some personal growth. Take the time to work through any feelings or struggles you nay have. Do not be ashamed about talking to someone about what you are going through. It can be a therapist, support group, or even a friend. Once you have started working on yourself, letting the good in and keeping the bad out, you can finally start to heal. This process will help you no longer feel shame about divorce.
You can also start seeking hobbies that you enjoy or learn something new. By making an effort to learn new things and do things you enjoy, you will start feeling more confident and happy.
Avoid Social Media
Viewing everyone else’s highlights can really bring you down. You may be looking at every else’s “happy families”. This could lead to you feeling shame about divorce. Know that the things people post on social media are very curated, and usually do not show their real struggles. Do not let this get to you. Just remove or limit the amount of social media you use. If you notice that someone specifics profile bothers you, just unfollow them. This will keep you from negatively comparing yourself to other people.