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Author: Robert Reeves

Dealing with Emotional Abuse

Dealing with emotional abuse in a relationship can be a difficult journey, however, you must get the help you need. If your partner is abusive physically or emotionally, you need to try to get help. Otherwise, you will stay unhappy forever. Find somebody you trust and ask for their help. Focus on yourself and find things that give you confidence. Avoid engaging with your abuser and set boundaries with them. And while doing all of this, try to work out an exit plan for leaving the relationship. Abusers rarely stop their abuse, and sometimes it can escalate into more dangerous situations. Get the help you need to get out of the relationship so that you can find somebody who will respect you more.

Dealing with Emotional Abuse: How to Feel Better

Get Support from Somebody You Trust

When dealing with emotional abuse, it’s helpful to find a support person that you trust. Go to a close friend or family member and tell them what has been going on. Hopefully, they can help you find a source of help. They might be able to help you work out a way of getting out of the relationship safely. You can also speak to a therapist if you are uncomfortable sharing with a friend.

Focus on Yourself

Another important thing to take time to do when dealing with emotional abuse is to focus on yourself. Emotional abusers generally like to make their victims feel shame and embarrassment. Find something that gives you confidence and makes you feel happy. Maybe there’s a new hobby that you’ve been wanting to try out or an old one that you’d like to pick back up.

Avoid Engaging

Avoid engaging with your abuser when dealing with emotional abuse. If they begin starting an argument, set clear boundaries. For example, you can tell them that if they begin insulting you that you are walking away. Then follow through after. If they start insulting, leave and walk away. Try not to engage with the abuse as much as possible.

Work Out an Exit Plan

Finally, one last thing to consider when dealing with emotional abuse is working out an exit plan. An abusive relationship is not a healthy relationship. You deserve to be with somebody who respects you and cherishes you. In addition, emotional abuse can sometimes escalate into physical abuse. Try to find a safe way to leave the relationship without getting yourself hurt. Enlist the help of a friend or the national abuse hotline for assistance.

When dealing with emotional abuse, it’s important to find a way to keep yourself happy and confident. Your abuser might try their hardest to bring you down, but it’s important to find things that give you happiness. Reach out to a friend, family member, or therapist to help you. Find a hobby or distraction to focus on that makes you feel confident. Avoid engaging with your abuser whenever possible. And finally, try to work out a safe way to exit the relationship. You deserve to be with somebody that respects you and that you can trust. Hopefully, you’ll be able to safely leave your abuser and move on to a much more healthy relationship in the future.

Four Relationship Red Flags to Watch Out For

There are many relationship red flags to look out for when you start dating somebody. However, there are a few that are classic signs of emotional abuse. One of these is a lack of trust. If your partner needs to keep tabs on you all the time it can also be a warning sign. Another red flag is if they don’t have any other interests besides the relationship. And finally, if they are trying to put pressure on you to move faster than you feel comfortable, it’s a warning sign. If you notice any of these behaviors in your relationship, it might be time to examine them to see if it’s healthy.

Four Relationship Red Flags to Watch Out For (And Run From)

Lack of Trust

One of the main relationship red flags to look out for is a lack of trust. If your partner is always needing the details of where you’re going and who you are with, it shows a deep lack of trust. This is often a sign that they are insecure in the relationship. If they accuse you of cheating or being unfaithful when there is no reason, it also shows a lack of trust.

Controlling

One of the relationship red flags that are a clear indicator of emotional abuse is if your partner is controlling. This can present in many ways. Some partners want to keep tabs on where you go anytime you leave the house. Some go as far as installing trackers or going through your phone. Others use finances as a way to control and abuse their partners. If your partner is overly-controlling, it’s best to walk away before things escalate.

Lack of Interests

Another of the relationship red flags to be on the lookout for is if your partner doesn’t have interests outside of the relationship. For example, if they want to spend all of their time with you. Or if they don’t have a group of friends to hang out with outside of your relationship. While it’s fine to want to spend a lot of time with your partner it’s still important to maintain friendships and interests outside of the relationship.

Pressuring You

Finally, one final example of relationship red flags to look out for is if your partner is pressuring you. No caring partner should pressure you to move faster than you feel comfortable. If they are trying to put pressure on you to get intimate too quickly, have a frank conversation with them. Both partners must respect each others’ boundaries.

There are many relationship red flags to look for, but it’s especially important to look out for ones that can indicate early signs of emotional abuse. For example, if they don’t trust you and if you’ve never given them a reason to be mistrustful, it’s a warning sign. Similarly, if they keep tabs on you or try to control you, it can quickly get out of hand. In a healthy relationship, both partners should have interests and friendships outside of their dating lives. And finally, a loving and respectful partner will not pressure you to move faster than you feel comfortable. If you notice any of these red flags, it’s important to examine your relationship. Make sure that you are committing to somebody that respects you!

Building Your Credit After a Divorce

Building your credit after a divorce is extremely important. Your credit score affects what kind of apartment or home you can afford as well as what vehicle you can purchase and much more. If you have a low or no credit score, it will be difficult to even find a place to live after you are separated. So building up your credit during or right after your divorce is key. Open up your accounts and begin putting all of your sole money in there. Pay all of your bills on time every month, and pay off credit cards as well. Work with your ex if there is any joint debt. And finally, set a tight monthly budget and stick to it as closely as possible. Divorce can negatively impact your credit score, so it’s important to know how to build credit back afterward.

Building Your Credit After a Divorce: Recovering Financially

Open Your Own Accounts

Building your credit after divorce begins with you opening up your bank accounts in your name only. You likely already have some joint accounts with your ex, but now is the time to open some that are only in your name. You’ll want to open a savings and checking account. Move all of the money that is yours alone into these accounts. It’s also a good time to go ahead and close any joint accounts. You don’t want your ex running up large debts with your name still attached to the accounts.

Pay Bills on Time

It’s important to pay all of your bills on time when building your credit after a divorce. This also includes new payments like alimony and child support. If you are late on your bills each month, it can negatively impact your credit score. It’s also a good idea to pay off your credit cards in full each month.

Work With Your Ex

While building your credit after a divorce, you might have to deal with some joint debt with your ex. It may be the last thing you want to do to contact your ex, but if you can work together to pay off joint debt quickly, it will help your credit. There are many ways to work on paying off debt, for example, the debt snowball. This is where you pay off your smallest debts first, then use the money that you save from those debts to pay off larger ones. Eventually, you are debt-free.

Set a Monthly Budget

Finally, when building your credit after a divorce, it’s extremely important to set a monthly budget. It’s best to set a very tight budget and live as modestly as possible for a little while. This will ensure that you have plenty of money to pay off any debts and pay off credit card bills every month. If you have plenty of money in savings, an unexpected expense isn’t the emergency it might be if you weren’t budgeting well.

Building your credit after a divorce can take a while, so it’s important to start as soon as possible. Some people think it’s wise to go ahead and open up a credit card or bank account before they even begin the divorce process so that they can start establishing credit on their own. Always pay your bills on time each month, including any new payments like alimony or child support. Work with your ex to try and pay off joint debts as quickly as possible to help both of your credit scores. And finally, budget budget budget. Living frugally will allow you to put away some savings so that unexpected expenses don’t end up hurting your credit score by going to collections. Helpfully, you’ll be able to bounce back financially from divorce and build up your credit quickly.

Outsider Clues to Abuse in a Relationship

Outsider clues to abuse in a relationship can be very helpful if you suspect somebody you know is a victim of domestic abuse. Often people in this situation are embarrassed or ashamed and don’t want to come forward. Or they might be worried about what effect it will have on their partner. If you are concerned about a friend, look for sudden behavior changes. Sometimes this also shows up in clothing style changes as well. If you feel uncomfortable around their partner, it’s probably your gut telling you something is wrong. And finally, if they start drinking or using drugs, it’s a warning sign that they are hurting. Hopefully, you can help them get the help they need.

Outsider Clues to Abuse in a Relationship: Is Somebody You Know in Need of Help?

Behavior Changes

One of the outside clues to abuse that might have led you to even start researching this is sudden behavior changes. If your previously-happy friend is suddenly acting depressed, it might be a sign that something is wrong in their relationship. If this is true, they might get overly defensive. Or they might have trouble finding their words or seem reluctant to talk about their dating life. Another clue is if they seem to have little time for you, are acting rushed, or cancel frequently. This might be a sign that their partner is overly controlling.

Style Changes

Another of the outsider clues to abuse in a relationship is a sudden style change. Of course, plenty of people change their clothing style often. However, if your friend is suddenly wearing clothes that seem very out of character, it might be a warning sign. Often overly controlling partners want their victims to dress very conservatively so that they’re covered up. And of course, if they are being physically abused, they might wear clothing to cover up injuries.

If You Are Uncomfortable Around Their Partner

If you feel uncomfortable around your friend’s new partner, it might be your gut telling you something. Trust your instincts if things feel off. Some outsider clues to abuse might be if your friend looks to their partner before answering or talking. Or if they seem to be uncomfortable around them or “pretending” too hard that all is well. You might also notice if their behaviors and mannerisms change when they’re in the presence of their partner.

Drinking or Substance Abuse

Finally, one of the outsider clues to abuse to watch for is if your friend starts abusing alcohol or drugs. If you can’t find any source of their unhappiness, but they’re suddenly drinking more heavily, it’s probably a clue that something is wrong. Often it is an issue with the relationship. Let them know that you will be there to support them if they’d like your help in quitting.

If you suspect that a friend might be in an abusive relationship, outsider clues to abuse can help you figure it out. If your friend changes their behavior all of a sudden or starts dressing differently, it might be a warning sign. Another red flag is if you get a bad feeling about your partner or notice that they act strangely around them. And finally, if they suddenly start drinking or using drugs. If you notice any of these signs in your friend, it might be worth it to set aside time to talk to them privately about their relationship. Know that victims sometimes are too afraid to come forward, so they may not tell you everything that’s going on. But it’s helpful to reassure them all the same that you can help. Hopefully, they’ll remember your offer and be brave enough to accept your help later.

Financial Steps to Take Before Filing for Divorce

There are several financial steps to take before filing for a divorce that can help you in the long run. Being organized before you’ve even announced to your partner that you want to separate can help you protect yourself and your assets. The first thing you’ll want to do is hire an experienced divorce attorney to represent your best interests. You’ll also want to organize your finances. Establish credit in your name if you haven’t already. And finally, close joint accounts or remove half the savings to protect yourself financially. Divorce can be incredibly stressful but a little prep work before you begin will be very helpful later.

Financial Steps to Take Before Filing for Divorce: Protect Yourself and Assets

Hire an Attorney

The first step to take before filing for divorce is to hire an experienced divorce attorney. They’ll be able to guide you and give you a breakdown of exactly what things you should be doing. They’ll be representing your best interests and will be a helpful asset to have on your side. Make sure that you find an attorney you are comfortable with and be honest with them.

Organize Your Finances

The next step you’ll want to take before filing for divorce is to organize your finances. Figure out what your and your spouse’s overall assets and debts are. You will hopefully split all of these things equally during the settlement. But your attorney needs to have a clear picture of what your financial situation looks like so they can fight for you. You’ll also want to organize documents relating to proof of income, student loan debts, and tax returns.

Establish Credit

If you don’t already have credit in your name, you’ll need to establish credit before filing for divorce. Some couples only have joint accounts. If this is the case, before you even announce your divorce to your partner, you’ll want to quietly begin building credit in your name. This is so that you’ll be able to buy a car or rent your own space once the divorce is over. One way to do this is to take out a credit card in your name only and begin using it and paying it off.

Close Joint Accounts

Finally, one final step to take before filing for divorce is to protect your assets in shared accounts. You need to protect yourself financially If you are worried that your spouse will raid your joint accounts and empty them. You can remove half of the money and move it to an account only in your name. In addition, it’s a good idea to close joint credit accounts so that your ex cannot run up charges that you’ll later have to negotiate in court. It’s less complicated if you can simply pay off any joint credit cards and then keep your finances separate moving forward until the divorce is over.

Divorce is stressful and complicated. It can also be extremely expensive. You want to start on the right foot by financially preparing yourself before filing for divorce. Hire a good divorce attorney so that they can guide you through the divorce proceedings. In addition, evaluate your overall financial health and organize the paperwork you might need. If you haven’t already, establish healthy credit in your name. And finally, protect money in your joint accounts and close credit accounts that are held in both your names. Hopefully, you’ll be able to protect yourself financially and get what you want out of your divorce settlement.

Different Types of Separation Options

If you have been thinking about splitting with your spouse, you might be confused about the various types of separation options. There are trial separations, permanent, legal separations, and divorce. Each of them is slightly different though. Trial separations are intended to be short term while permanent separations are exactly what they sound like, permanent. Legal separation means that you permanently split up but cannot remarry. You also retain the right of marriage. And a full legal divorce means that your marriage is officially ended. Each state has different laws about types of separation. Therefore, it’s best to hire a knowledgeable attorney to help you through any type of separation.

Different types of Separation Options: Trial, Permanent, Legal, and Divorce

Trial Separation

One of the types of separation that a couple typically tries first is a trial separation. This is often done when a couple feels that they need a break from one another. In the period when you are living apart, you should think about whether or not you want to stay together or move towards a more long-term split. Before you start a trial separation, you and your spouse need to talk about how to handle childcare and money. You’ll also need to decide where you each will be living.

Permanent Separation

Permanent separation is another of the types of separation available. This means that a couple is living apart and never intend to get back together. However, you would still have all the rights of marriage and stay legally married. If you end up getting a divorce later, the date of your permanent separation can become an important factor. So make a note of when you and your spouse decide to separate permanently. Sometimes this affects your assets and joint property.

Legal Separation

Of the different types of separation, it’s hard to know the difference between a legal separation and a divorce. However, a legal separation is not an option in all states. But where it is, it means that you are legally separating but still keeping your marriage rights. Couples might choose to do this if they have religious issues with divorce. In addition, if a spouse wants to stay on another’s insurance, they may opt for a legal separation. And some choose this for the sake of their children. Legal separation usually has the same court process of splitting assets and child support as a divorce would. If you have a legal separation you cannot remarry.

Divorce

A full legal divorce is the most final of the different types of separation. It means that your marriage is permanently ending. This means that you will split assets and property. If you have children, you’ll need to agree on custody. You’ll also have to decide on child support. A divorce is a long a drawn-out process, however after your divorce ends, you are free to remarry.

The different types of separation can be confusing as they are all similar. A trial separation is short-term and couples can use it to decide if they want to break up or stay together. A permanent separation means that they have decided to live apart but will stay legally married. A legal separation is less common but means that a couple will divide up assets but still stay married. And finally, a divorce means that your marriage has officially ended. You and your partner will have to decide which type of separation makes the most sense for you. Whichever you choose, you’ll want a great attorney by your side to represent you.

How to Keep Children Safe from Physical Abuse

If you are in an abusive relationship, it’s important to keep children safe from physical abuse. Sometimes abuse can escalate quickly. If you are trying to find a way to safely exit the relationship, you need a way to protect your children in the meantime. While you work on a safe way to leave, create a plan with your children. Practice a safe word and give them tips for protecting themselves. Teach them to not intervene. And finally, reassure them frequently that you will always believe them if they come to you with problems. Hopefully, you can find some support to help you find a safe way to leave your abuser. You and your child will be much better off, not to mention, much safer.

How to Keep Children Safe from Physical Abuse: Protect Them While You Make a Plan

Get Away from Abuser

The most important thing to keep children safe from physical abuse is to leave your abuser as soon as the abuse starts. If you have been in an emotionally abusive relationship and it turns violent, it’s time to leave. Emotional abuse is not okay either, but physical abuse puts you and your children at risk. Find somebody you trust to help you make an exit plan.

Have a Plan

Another thing to help keep children safe from physical abuse is to make a plan with your children. You should teach them a safe place to go if anything starts to happen in front of them. In addition, teach them to find a safe place in the house to hide. Make sure it’s a place that doesn’t have dangerous objects like a kitchen. It’s also a great idea to make a safe word with them so that if they hear it they know to go to a pre-determined safe place. Enlist the help of a neighbor or somebody you trust to be a safe haven for them. Make sure that they memorize their phone numbers.

They Are Not to Intervene

It’s also important to help keep children safe from physical abuse by making sure that they understand not to intervene. Witnessing violence can have damaging lasting effects on children. Not only does it scare them, but it can upset them to see you frightened. Teach them not to intervene under any circumstances. Instead, they should find a safe place to go. Make sure they know techniques to calm down, and of course, make sure they know how to dial 911.

Reassurance

Finally, one last thing to help keep children safe from physical abuse is to make sure that they know they can trust you with anything. Children need to know that you will believe them no matter what they say. If they come to you and reveal that your partner is abusive, you need to take them at their word and investigate further. They need to know that they can trust you. This is a difficult time for them and they need you by their side.

If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, you must make sure to keep children safe from physical abuse. The absolute most important thing to do is to get away from your abuser as soon as you can. However, it’s important to make sure that you do this in a safe way that doesn’t put you at further risk. Create a plan just for your child in case abuse starts when they are present. Have a safe word for them to either hide in a safe place or leave the house and get help. Make sure they know not to intervene. And of course, make sure that they know that you will believe them if they come to you with problems. Hopefully, you’ll be able to get some support and find a way to safely exit the relationship so that you and your child can be safer and happier.

How to Handle Financial Stress in a Marriage

Financial stress in a marriage is one of the leading reasons for divorce. Financial stress can affect almost every part of your life. If one partner comes into a relationship with more or less money, if one partner is a bigger spender, or if you are in debt, it can lead to a lot of anxiety. Begin by educating yourself on how to be financially savvy. Talk about money often with your spouse. It shouldn’t be a secret in your relationship. Know how much money is coming in and going out so that you can make a budget together. And finally, take baby steps. If you are drowning in debt, set a small goal and go from there. Hopefully, you’ll be able to build up savings and establish healthy spending habits so that financial stress doesn’t lead to relationship problems.

How to Handle Financial Stress in a Marriage: Don’t Let it Tear You Apart

Educate Yourself

The first important step to handling financial stress in a marriage is to educate yourself on how to be financially savvy. Learn how budgeting works and how different types of retirement plans can benefit you. Speak to a financial advisor, or take a class online to help you understand the ins and outs of being financially literate.

Talk About Money

Another way to help handle financial stress in a marriage is to not let money be a secret between you. You should talk about money often together. Even if one partner makes more or less than the other, you should both be included in important financial discussions. Both partners should have a firm understanding of your financial health as a couple. In addition, both partners need to have a say in how finances are handled.

Know Your In/Out

It can help you manage financial stress in a marriage if you have a clear budget. The best way to do this is to have a detailed picture of the money coming in versus the money going out. For example, for a month or two, track all of your spending and all of the money that you bring in. You might be surprised at how much you spend on things you don’t need. Then, make a budget that takes into account as many expenses and possible future expenses as you can remember. You’ll still have unexpected things come up, but hopefully, you’ll be better prepared for them.

Take Baby Steps

Finally, one last way to help manage financial stress in a marriage is to take baby steps when it comes to your financial health. If you are in debt or struggling, try to pinpoint one quick way to save a bit of money each month. You don’t have to solve your entire financial problem at once. Take it little by little. Start with an emergency fund. Next, begin to work on getting rid of debt by building a budget and sticking to it.

Managing the financial stress in a marriage can be difficult, but it is so important. Oftentimes financial stress can lead to marital problems, anxiety, depression, arguments, and even divorce. If you are suffering from financial stress, try to educate yourself on healthy spending. Then, sit down and talk about money with your spouse. You both need to be on the same page when it comes to your financial health as a couple. Get a clear picture of your spending by making a list of money coming in and going out. From there, create a budget and stick to it that gives you small attainable saving goals so that little by little you build your wealth. Hopefully, you’ll be able to tackle any debt that you have as a couple and learn to have a healthier relationship with your finances.

Divorce Timeline: What to Expect

Having a general overview of the divorce timeline can help you get an idea of what to expect from the divorce process. It can be overwhelming when you first begin looking at all of the steps that you’ll need to take. However, having an experienced attorney by your side can help you through the process. Deciding to get a divorce is the first step you’ll take. After that, you and your spouse will each prepare for the divorce separately. Then you’ll move to the negotiations stage of the process. This is where things can get quite complicated and can take much longer or shorter than you expect. And finally, you’ll settle your divorce and everything will be finalized. Hopefully, the process will be as stress-free and easy as possible with the help of your attorney.

Divorce Timeline: What to Expect When You Are Going Through the Divorce Process

Deciding to Divorce

The first step in the divorce timeline is you and your spouse deciding that you want a divorce. You might come to this conclusion together or one partner might surprise the other with a divorce. However you come to the decision, you’ll both want to go ahead and hire legal representation. Your attorney will fight for your interests in court and will provide you with all of their legal expertise to make sure that you are content with your settlement. One of you will need to file a legal divorce petition, serve it to the other, and file it with the courthouse.

Preparing for Divorce

The next step in the divorce timeline is for each of you to prepare for the divorce proceedings. You’ll each have to gather paperwork about your financial situation, your assets, debts, and many other documents. You can also request documents from your spouse as well. In most states, you’ll attempt to go to mediation before going to a full trial.

Negotiations

Negotiations are probably the most stressful part of the divorce timeline. You and your partner will discuss how to split up your assets and make many other decisions. If you can come to agreements in mediation, you’ll come up with a divorce settlement and file it with the courthouse. If you are not able to agree, your case will go to trial.

Settlement

The final step in the divorce timeline is a settlement. If you and your partner end up having to go to trial, then the court will decide how your case will be settled. They will issue a legal divorce decree that outlines each of your duties and the terms of the divorce. If either party is still in disagreement, they can appeal some of the judgment. If both parties agree to this then your divorce is final and you can begin moving on. It’s time to legally change your name and begin the process of healing.

The divorce timeline can seem a little overwhelming when you first begin looking into it. However, an experienced attorney can make the process seem much more manageable. They will walk you through each step so that you are getting the best settlement possible. You’ll begin the process when you decide officially that you’d like to file for divorce. After this, you and your spouse will prepare documents and then move towards mediation. Hopefully, you can settle here, but if not you’ll continue negotiations at trial. And finally, the court will settle your divorce and issue a decree that spells out the terms of your divorce. After this, you can begin to move on and heal from the process. Hopefully, you and your attorney will be able to negotiate a settlement that you and your spouse are both happy with.

The Emotions of Divorce: The Ups and Downs

There are so many emotions of divorce that you might be feeling. Divorce has been compared to the death of a loved one. And just like with grief, you’re likely to experience an entire range of emotions. You might feel relief, anger, hurt, guilt, resentment, happiness, and anything in between. One of the ways to cope that can be very helpful is to seek out a therapist. You might also try journaling to organize your thoughts. And many find it helpful to make time for their social life again and re-connect with friends or re-focus on other relationships. If you are feeling overwhelmed by the emotions surrounding your divorce, know that you are not alone and that there is help out there.

The Emotions of Divorce: The Ups and Downs and How to Cope with Them

What’s “Normal?”

First of all, there is no “normal” when it comes to the emotions of divorce. Some people are relieved at the end of their marriage, while others grieve. And some don’t even know how they’re feeling, or change from moment to moment. It’s perfectly normal for you to cycle through emotions constantly after a divorce. For example, one minute you might feel excited about the opportunities ahead of you, and the next you are crying because you miss your ex. All of these emotions are normal and valid.

Coping Through Therapy

One way to cope with the emotions of divorce is to try going to therapy. Many find that a therapist can help them see a different perspective on their divorce. They will likely give you some coping mechanisms to try. In addition, they are often a source of advice when it comes to interacting with your ex in the future. They can help you learn to better communicate with them to make a co-parenting relationship more successful.

Coping Through Journaling

Many find that journaling is very helpful with dealing with the emotions of divorce. Journaling is easy to do and doesn’t need to take much time. If you get into the habit of daily journaling, you can keep your entries as short or long as you like. Some people also find it helpful to write inspirational things or affirmations in their journals as a daily reminder. Journaling can help you organize your thoughts and help you see the bigger picture on some things.

Coping Through Social Interaction

Finally, one last coping mechanism for the emotions of divorce is to focus on other relationships. It’s likely that during the stress of divorce you might not have had as much time for other people as usual. Maybe friends have fallen by the wayside or you’ve even been too busy to give your kids all the attention you’d like. Take time now that the divorce is final to focus on these relationships. It will give you a sense of purpose and also be a distraction.

The emotions of divorce can feel overwhelming at times, and that’s normal. You might cycle between all the stages of grief several times in a day. There are many coping mechanisms to help you handle the stress, but you need to figure out what works best for your personality. For example, maybe seeing a therapist would be particularly helpful for you. Or maybe you need to organize your thoughts by putting pen to paper. And yet others might feel restored after a long lunch with friends. However, you choose to cope with your emotions, know that you are not alone in feeling emotional after a divorce. Hopefully, in time, you’ll start to feel less overwhelmed and will be able to look at the positive side of things and view your divorce as a new beginning.