Category: divorce advice

Post-Divorce Health: Achieve New Goals

Divorce is going to be tough, and it can have a bit of a negative impact on the body. Therefore, it’s a good idea to invest in your post-divorce health. Doing so can help you get started on achieving your new post-divorce goals…

 Post-Divorce Health

Get an energy boost

One good reason to focus on your post-divorce health is to get an energy boost. Divorce can cause you to feel pretty tired and lacking in motivation. While this is understandable, especially after all you had to deal with, getting healthy can help you find the energy you’ve been lacking.

Research has shown that people who exercise tend to have much more energy than those who don’t. Plus, eating healthier foods will give your body more energy than unhealthier choices. Channeling negative feelings into your workout can also help you start to feel better mentally.

Improve self-confidence

Improving your post-divorce health can also help improve your self-confidence. It’s quite common to feel a bit low after your divorce. You might even start to question if you’re really all that great, and focus more on perceived negatives about yourself. Of course, this isn’t good for you or your new goals

Getting healthy helps you start to feel better about yourself. Seeing those small steps, like losing a few pounds or getting better endurance, are great for your confidence. As you continue to improve yourself, you’ll also begin to feel the level of confidence needed to tackle what’s lying ahead.

Save extra money

Some people might claim that trying to focus on post-divorce health is too costly. Things like gym memberships or the cost of healthier foods can seem expensive, especially coming off of a divorce. While they might appear so at first, you have to think about the money you’re going to be saving down the line.

Living healthier will help reduce the risk of running into health issues. That way, you save money by avoiding costly doctor visits. Plus, you’ll also be able to save money on insurance, as you can find suitable plans at a lower rate. The money you save this way will outweigh the costs of food or gym memberships.

Divorce Length: Contributing Factors

One of the most-common questions about divorce is about how long it’ll take. The thing is, divorce length can be impacted by a number of factors. However, these particular factors tend to be why your divorce may be longer or shorter than you anticipated…

Divorce Length: Key Aspects

State factors

Certain aspects relating to the state you live in can impact your divorce length. Every state has different laws about divorce. Some may require you to be separated for a period of time before you can divorce. Others may need you to be a resident for a certain amount of time. Ultimately, it all depends on what kind of laws a state does or doesn’t have.

There also things like how busy the courts are with previous divorces. Recently, due to the COVID-19 pandemic, many states have closed or limited access to their courthouses. Many couple who might have planned to divorce, or were in the process of doing so, are experiencing delays because of this.

Conflict

Levels of conflict will also have an effect on your divorce length. For instance, if you and your ex constantly argue with one another, then that’s going to draw out the divorce process. Not only that, but it’ll also potentially drive up your costs as you spend more time fighting and less time moving things forwards.

Yet, if you can work together with your ex, your divorce can not take as long. Plus, coming to agreements together will leave you with results that you’re both happy with. Approaching those more-sensitive areas like co-parenting plans and asset-splitting in a neutral manner can cut down on any potential conflict.

Emotions

Your emotions can impact both the divorce length itself, and how long it takes you to move on. Feeling really upset about the divorce can drain your motivation and make it hard to take care of divorce matters. At the same time, being angry at your ex can lead to more conflict, which will certainly increase how long the divorce takes.

Even when the divorce is over, you may have trouble shaking those feelings and starting your new life. Therefore, it can be good to look for ways to help you process these feelings. Meeting with a therapist or using other healthy outlets can help you process these feelings and not let them stall your divorce.

Divorce Coaching: Potential Benefits

Having to go through a divorce alone can be pretty daunting. Therefore, it could be worthwhile to get some divorce coaching. Meeting with a coach could help you handle the new difficulties and challenges which come with divorce…

Divorce Coaching: Ways It Can Help

Develop a plan

Many people tend to feel lost when going through their divorce. It can be difficult to know what you should be doing and what you should avoid. This can very quickly become overwhelming and make things much more difficult for you. That’s why divorce coaching can be handy.

A coach can help you come up with a general plan of action. Not just that, but they’ll also work with you to make a post-divorce plan as well. That way, not only will you have some good guidance now, but you’ll also have an idea of where to start when the divorce is over too.

Talking with your ex

Another time divorce coaching is helpful is when you struggle with talking to your ex. It can be awkward to talk now that you’re divorcing one another. However, it’s important to do so effectively, especially if you’re going to be co-parents after everything is over.

Meeting with a coach can teach you helpful ways to find some common ground with your ex. This will help make it easier for the both of you to talk with each other. Still, it could be the case that there’s a lot of tension remaining between you and your ex. A coach can also help you figure out ways to de-escalate things and keep the peace.

Keep your cool

A person’s emotions tend to run pretty high when they’re divorcing. All the stress can get the better of you and really make you feel frustrated, angry, anxious, or depressed. Divorce coaching can teach you healthy ways to manage these emotions so you can keep your cool.

It’s important to keep your emotions in check for several reasons. Aside from the health benefits, it’ll help you make sure your emotions don’t interfere with your decision making. It can also help you talk to your ex without getting worked up.

Court Attire: Dress for Success

It only takes 1/10th of a second for someone to form a first impression. This means it’s important to make as good of a first impression as possible. This is especially true in court, where the impression you give can have lasting effects on the outcome of your case. Having the proper court attire goes a long way in making that first impression on the judge a good one…

Court Attire: Dress for Success

Keep it classy

Everyday clothing has become much more relaxed these days than in the past. The rise of business casual dress codes also means that some people are unaware of what “normal” business attire should consist of. This can translate to potentially unprofessional court attire.

You’ll want to approach dressing for court like dressing for a job interview. For men, this means collared shirts, dress pants, and ties. For women, dresses, skirts and blouses, or dress pants and tops will work. Make sure they are simple with no crazy designs or colors as well. 

Tattoos and piercings 

Tattoos and body piercings have also become much more common these days. However, how do they apply when thinking of court attire? What would be considered appropriate versus crossing the line? It really comes down to finding the best way to mix looking professional versus expressing yourself.

You’ll probably want to wear clothes that’ll cover your tattoos as best as possible. You’ll also want to take out any “unique” piercings like nose or lip ones. Additionally, if you have colored hair, make sure to dye it to a natural color for your court appearance. This shows the judge you’re going the extra mile to be professional in their courtroom. 

It’s all about respect

Proper court attire all comes down to showing respect for court and the judge. If the judge sees that you’re putting in the effort to treat your case seriously, then it boosts your credibility. Dressing properly isn’t a guarantee of success, of course; it just means you’re starting off on the right foot. 

Dressing is just one part of the full courtroom experience. You’ll also need to make sure you’re aware of proper courtroom etiquette. Having both perfected will let you and your lawyer focus on the case at hand rather than any distractions. 

Common Divorce Reasons

People divorce for a wide variety of reasons. However, some reasons tend to be more common than others. These common divorce reasons can be indicators of when things are going south. Knowing these signs can help you realize when you might need to change course, or if it’s best to call things off…

Common Divorce Reasons

Infidelity

Infidelity is one of the most common divorce reasons. Cheating and affairs tend to be a breaking point for a lot of marriages. For many couples, this represents a violation of trust between each partner. Once this trust is violated, it’s hard for couples to reconcile and come back together.

The reasons behind why partners cheat aren’t always so clear-cut. Sometimes, it’s due to underlying issues in the relationship, especially in regards to intimacy. Other times, it could be due to pent up frustrations, or just when a partner gives into temptation. Ultimately, it’s up to you to determine if you can work things out with your spouse, or if you want to split.

Poor communication

Communication troubles also are one of the common divorce reasons. Good communication is an important foundation for any marriage. Couples who are able to talk to one another in a healthy and productive manner tend to work out their issues both quickly, and in a way that leaves both sides happy.

However, couples with poor communication tend to struggle. They end up in constant arguments, which just get worse and worse over time. Eventually, this leads to both partners becoming fed up with each other, and many will opt for divorce to prevent things from getting even worse.

Abuse

Abuse is one of the most unfortunate common divorce reasons. Marriage, and life itself is difficult, and sadly some people take out their frustrations out on their spouses. In these situations, divorce is a means for someone to get away from their abuser.

Abuse doesn’t have to be physical. In fact, it can also be emotional, or a combination of each. Either way, any kind of abuse is something which shouldn’t be tolerated. Remember that a person’s own personal safety should take priority in any kind of relationship.

Divorce Therapy: How It May Help

Divorce is an extremely stressful event for both the people involved and their families. Due to this, it might not be a bad idea to consider divorce therapy. However, if you’ve never met with a therapist before, this can feel like a daunting task. Still, it might help you to know how exactly these professionals can help…

Divorce Therapy: How It May Help

Cope with emotions

Divorce is an emotional time, and sometimes those emotions can get overwhelming. This becomes very apparent if they’re negative emotions. Many times, these emotions can end up getting the better of people and negatively impact their divorce.

However, divorce therapy can help you cope with your emotions. A therapist can work with you to figure out where exactly these emotions are stemming from and what causes you to feel them. That way, you can work on strategies to keep the under control in a healthy and productive manner, and eventually work past them.

Help with the kids

Divorce therapy can also be helpful if you’re a parent. Divorce can have a pretty significant impact on your children. Due to this, many parents worry about what exactly they should or shouldn’t be doing, and what kinds of things they should look for in their children’s behavior.

A therapist can help you better understand what’s going through your kids’ heads. This is especially true if you meet up with a family therapist. These therapists help out all members of the family, and can have both you and your children work together to better understand how you each feel about what’s going on.

Build a plan for the future

One of the worst aspects of divorce is the uncertainty it brings. With the end of your marriage, the plans you used to have for the future are probably no longer possible. Many people get anxious when thinking about their new future, and are unsure of where exactly they should start to get things going again.

However, if you choose divorce therapy, then you can work with your therapist to build a new plan. The therapist can help you figure out what exactly you might be afraid of and how to get excited for the new opportunities in your life. That way, you can start to feel more confident about your life post-divorce.

Picking Mediation: What To Consider

When it comes to divorce, some couples might opt to go the mediation route. However, picking mediation isn’t always a simple choice. There’s a few key things you’ll need to consider before you make your decision…

Picking Mediation: What To Consider

Are you both on board?

Picking mediation relies a lot on your ability to work with your spouse. After all, it is a voluntary process. That’s why it’s ideal to ensure the both of you are on board with the idea. If you’re both willing to work together, then the process will go smoothly for you and them.

However, if one spouse feels “forced” into mediation, they may not be willing to work with you. They could become very hostile towards you, and lack the open mind needed to make the process work. If you know this will be the case, then you might want to consider other options.

Is privacy a concern?

It’s important to think about privacy when picking mediation. Unlike a courtroom, which is open to the public, mediation is much more private. You and your partner will be able to meet confidentially and discuss things in a more relaxed, quiet setting.

Still, keep in mind that other options can provide that privacy too. For example, if you decide on a collaborative divorce, then you can expect a similar level of privacy. The main thing here is that privacy is just another potential advantage to consider. Depending on how your spouse is, it could cause them to lean more towards mediation.

Can you communicate properly?

Remember that mediation is meant to be collaborative. While there is a mediator involved, they are more of a neutral third party. Their main job is to facilitate the conversation between you and your partner. As a result, picking mediation relies a lot on your ability to communicate.

If you and your partner can talk to one another in a nice, professional manner, then mediation can be a good choice. But, if you constantly find you’re getting into arguments, it might be harder to get the most out of the process. It’s crucial to seriously consider how well you can work together and talk out disagreements in order to reach compromises.

Prenup Agreements: The Benefits for You

Prenup agreements are becoming more common for married couples. These agreements can help you sort out property and financials going into the marriage. Additionally, they can also help make a divorce a much smoother process. Knowing the benefits of a prenup can help you determine if you should also have one for your marriage…

 Prenup Agreements: The Benefits for You

Separate assets 

Prenup agreements help you and your spouse sort out what assets belong to whom. This helps you to both know what assets you’re bringing into the marriage. This kind of information is especially helpful during a divorce. 

Asset division is a key aspect of divorce. However, this generally means you’ll have to fight in court to prove what assets are yours from before the divorce. A prenup will avoid this fight, as you’ll both already have all those assets listed. 

Splitting debt

Debt is also something which can get split during a divorce. However, prenup agreements can help specify what debt you and your spouse had before you were married. This will help limit your debt responsibility during a divorce, as well as save you time and money on the proceedings. 

Settlement negotiations

Prenup agreements are basically divorce settlement guidelines. They help you and your spouse define who gets what in the case of a divorce. Without an agreement, you’ll have to negotiate a settlement based on your state’s divorce laws. This can lead to a longer and more expensive divorce proceeding. 

On the other hand, a prenup already lays out who had what coming into the marriage. That makes it much easier to figure out what does need to be negotiated and what doesn’t. For example, that means you and your spouse can focus mainly on say co-parenting agreements rather than everything at once. A prenup is basically a way to “trim the fat” from your divorce and make it easier for everyone involved. 

Divorce Prep: What to Consider

The more you’re prepared for something, the more likely it is to go well. This same principal applies to your divorce as well. Taking the proper steps of divorce prep can help you save yourself time, money, and stress. It’ll take some work, but it’ll be well worth it in the end…

Divorce Prep: What to Consider

Sort out your emotions

The first part of proper divorce prep is sorting out your emotions. Divorce is a very emotional time for all parties involved. Letting your emotions get out of hand can turn your divorce into a messy and complicated process. 

Of course, you shouldn’t try and act like a robot with no emotions during this time either. It’s all about finding the right, healthy balance of how you feel and how to process said feelings. Joining a support group or meeting with a therapist are good ways to help you get more control over your emotions. 

Start Organizing

Getting yourself organized is another part of proper divorce prep. Documents are a crucial component of divorce. This means you’ll have to get together tax returns, W-2 forms, bank statements, and a whole host of other documents. 

However, getting them together now means less work and cost to you in the long run. Divorce can leave you feeling distracted as you’ll have so many things you’ll need to do. Going into divorce organized will help you feel much more focused even as things start to pick up. 

Plan out the costs

Divorce can be a costly endeavor. Hidden costs can sneak up on you and make you pay way more than you originally estimated. That’s why it’s important to figure out your finances and make a plan around them.

Remember, you’ll have to start paying divorce costs on top of your already existing expenses. You’ll also need to plan out how much money you’ll need after the divorce is over as well. Balancing your budget is one of the best ways to make your divorce go much smoother than expected. 

Divorce prep is all about getting yourself ready for the divorce process ahead. Going through a divorce can be a lengthy and difficult time. Therefore, you’ll want to set yourself up for success as much as possible.

Common Divorce Questions

Getting divorced can be pretty confusing. In fact, it’s not unusual to have some questions. However, there’s some common divorce questions which tend to pop up more than others. Having answers to these questions can help put your mind at a little more ease…

Common Divorce Questions

“How long will it take?”

One of the most common divorce questions is about its length. After all, divorce tends to get a reputation for taking a while. With how draining the process can be, it’s understandable that many people are concerned about just how long this whole process might take.

The reality of the situation is that it depends. There’s a lot of things that divorce has to cover. For example, there’s finances, custody, assets, and plenty more. Therefore, it mainly comes down to how long it takes to sort these things out. However, it is better to take your time with divorce, rather than to rush it.

“What should I do beforehand?”

Another of the common divorce questions is about getting prepared. As with most things, it’s always a good idea to get ready for your divorce ahead of time. Still, there’s a whole lot of things your divorce is going to cover. So where should you get started, and when?

The best time to get ready for divorce is when you’ve finalized on the idea. At that point, it’s helpful to begin gathering things such as documents in order to get yourself ready. You should also begin to set aside some extra money, just to cover any costs which may arise from the divorce process too.

“Can I keep the peace?”

People also figure that divorce tends to be very confrontational. As such, another one of the more common divorce questions is how to prevent this. While they may not always be so common, it is totally possible to pull of a very low-conflict and peaceful divorce.

Of course, you will have to work together with your partner to do this. The best ways to avoid conflict are mainly through good communication and a willingness to come to compromises in your divorce. It might get tough at times, but it is a much better alternative than a bitter, angry divorce.