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Category: post-divorce

Redecorating Post-Divorce

After your divorce, you might’ve found yourself having to relocate to a new home. Or, maybe you’ve happened to keep the house you’ve already had. Whatever the case might be, you’ll probably be looking to do some redecorating post-divorce. Redecorating your house can help give your home some nice personal touches as you begin your post-divorce life…

Redecorating Post-Divorce

Find the pieces you love

A common challenge people run into when redecorating post-divorce is feeling overwhelmed. They’ll end up not sure of where to begin, or what to focus on, and then wonder if they should even bother anymore. However, it’s all about starting small and finding the simple things first. 

Before doing any drastic changes, it helps to first get a few pieces that you really like. Look all over, whether it be online, or in antique shops or flea markets, for the pieces that really appeal to you. Once you have these pieces, then you have the base for your redesign. Build the rest of the rooms around these pieces, and you’ll have a centered and focused way of getting your redesign done. 

Appreciate your own style

One of the great things about redecorating post-divorce is the amount of freedom you have. In your marriage, you probably had to make compromises with your spouse on the decorating. However, now you have the ability to make all the choices. This is the perfect time to truly embrace your own personal style. 

Don’t feel afraid to experiment with a bunch of different ideas. Your inner critic might try to raise doubts, but this is when you’ll want to push them to the side. Instead, do whatever it is you think you’d like, and make your home your own.

Nothing wrong with some help

While redecorating post-divorce is all about what you want, there’s nothing wrong with getting some outside assistance. After all, redecorating on your own can be quite a challenge. Plus, other eyes can help you notice the finer details which you might’ve not considered. 

Of course, your friends and family are the most immediate, and probably readily available source of help. However, maybe you want to take a bit more of a professional approach. These days, you can find interior designers online who can help you go room-by-room and figure out what’ll fit you the best. 

Unhealthy Relationship: Know The Signs

Deciding to date again post-divorce can be tricky for some people. This can lead to them getting into an unhealthy relationship and not realizing it. That’s why it’s important to know the signs of these unhealthy relationships. That way, you can avoid them and find one that you deserve…

Unhealthy Relationship: Know The Signs

Things don’t “feel” right

A surefire way to know you’re probably in an unhealthy relationship is if you just don’t feel comfortable. Feeling uncomfortable around your partner signals that there is something wrong with your relationship. This could mean you feel like you can’t be yourself, and have to walk on eggshells when you’re around them.

Ultimately, you could end up feeling unsafe around your partner. This could be because of a fear of rejection from your partner. If your partner constantly shoots down your thoughts and opinions, then they ultimately don’t respect you. When that’s the case, it becomes clear your relationship isn’t all that healthy. 

They Don’t Respect You

Healthy relationships are built upon mutual respect for each partner. However, a unhealthy relationship tips these scales unfavorably. In these relationships, you’re not viewed as an equal, but rather lesser in the eyes of your partner. This can show itself in a number of ways. 

For example, maybe your partner constantly blow you off while expecting you to always be there for them. Or, perhaps they ignore you while expecting constant attention. When these scales become unbalanced, it becomes apparent that your relationship might not be healthy.

They don’t make time for you

Balancing time spent together is an important part of healthy relationships. After all, each person will have their friends or hobbies, and like to spend some time with them. Maybe they just need some time to themselves every now and again. However, while healthy relationships will work out this balance together, unhealthy relationships won’t.

Instead, in an unhealthy relationship, your partner will chose to spend more time away from you than with you. This can show itself even in the little ways, like them never calling or texting you. On the other hand, they might expect you to spend time with them when they ask, and get upset when you can’t. This manipulative behavior is a pretty clear-cut way to know when your relationship isn’t healthy. 

Relocating Post-Divorce

In certain situations, couples and families move away from extended family for better opportunities. When life happens, your support system is still there, they are just further away. It’s common for the parent with full or majority custody to consider relocating post-divorce. Of course, if custody is split 50/50 and the other parent has no interest in moving, this might not be an option for you. If you have the ability to, relocating might be a good move for you, literally.

Relocating Post-Divorce: Benefits of Starting Fresh 

Why should you relocate?

Relocation is a fresh start. It can be invigorating to start over, to be in a new place. If your brothers and sisters or other family are close by, relocating post-divorce also offers some security. You’ll be near people you trust and can rely on. A new place will force you to get out of your routine. This will not only create a new routine, but leave little time to dwell on any negative emotions you might have.

Why shouldn’t you relocate?

While there’s definitely some positives of relocating, there are also negatives. Relocating post-divorce can turn your children’s life totally upside down. Not only are they having to understand life with divorced parents, they will also have to get used to a new school. New school, new friends, new sports teams, the list goes on. Relocating can be difficult for some children who struggle to make new friends. It can also be difficult for children who have had the same friends their entire lives.

After you relocate, keep in mind…

Allow yourself and your children time to adjust. Remember that nothing happens over night. Some children will feel stress from being a further distance from the other parent. As long as there is a legal right to relocate, remind them (and sometimes, yourself) that this is a good thing for your family. Relocating post-divorce is a step forward in the right direction. This is an opportunity to create new memories in a new home. Another idea is to allow your children to be involved in their new bedroom decor. This will get them excitedabout their new home.

To conclude: relocating post-divorce is a fresh start. It might be difficult to be approved for relocation. You should always consult legal help before making any distant moves with your family after a divorce. 

Empty Nest Post-Divorce

Divorce can feel like a lonely process for many. Dealing with the feelings of an “empty nest” can really make that feeling linger. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t handle an empty nest post-divorce. There are different ways of handling it which can make you start looking at the positives of your post-divorce life…

Empty Nest Post-Divorce

Consider the positives

Part of handling an empty nest post-divorce is getting out of negative thinking. Many people dealing with an empty nest get stuck thinking about all the negatives without focusing on the positives. However, it’s important to know that it’s not all bad. 

For example, you’ll now have a lot of time to do what you want. You don’t have to worry about being a ride or making appointments. Also, if your kids are in college, then take some relief in knowing they’re having a good time. Keep in touch and remember that their happiness is a reason for yours too.

Explore new things

Finding new things to do also helps to ward off those negative empty nest post-divorce feelings. Remember, you’ll have a lot of time now to do the things you’ve maybe put on the back-burner. Or, you can find some new activities to give a try. 

You can consider taking up some exercise classes or think about joining a sports club. Or, you can look at some things to do around the house, like renovations or redecorating. Even just finding a new book or show to watch can help you fight off those negative feelings. 

Connect with others

Connecting with others is another good idea for handling an empty nest post-divorce. What better way to feel less alone than to be with others? This is actually a great time to connect with old friends or find some new ones.

Try to put together some days where you and friends get to hang out. You can try to meet up for dinner, or just to talk with one another at your house. Also, you can look for groups designed to help people dealing with empty nest feelings. These groups can help you learn new ways to handle your feelings and find some new friends along the way. 

Dating Post-Divorce: Getting Ready

Dating might be the furthest thing from your mind after a divorce. However, well-meaning friends and family might start asking you if you’ve thought about it. This can make you start to question if you should be trying to start dating post-divorce. However, it really comes down to some self-reflection and perspective….

Dating Post-Divorce: Getting Ready

Determine your feelings 

Societal pressure can make you feel like you should try dating post-divorce quickly. Friends and family asking you about it can make you think you’re doing something wrong by not trying to date. However, it all depends on how you truly feel about it. 

Don’t rely on the calendar to tell you when you should try dating again. Everyone is different, and will need a different amount of time to feel comfortable with dating again. Give yourself some time to grieve and wait until you feel comfortable with dating.

Move on from your ex

Do you find yourself still thinking about your ex or what they’re doing? Especially in the relationship department? If so, you might want to hold off on dating post-divorce until you can fully move on. 

Those lingering thoughts about your ex can make their way into new relationships and negatively impact them. You might be trying to “prove” to your ex you’ve moved on to better things, even when inside that isn’t the case. It’s best to wait until your ex is no longer a focus so your new relationships won’t be influenced by them.

Accept who you are

Trying out dating post-divorce means you’ll also have to be happy with who you are as an individual. For that reason, consider taking some time for yourself in between your divorce and dating.  It’s always useful to explore your new life on your own terms for a bit. 

Take some time and learn to enjoy being single. Try new things, go out with friends, anything that you would like to. Being happy with yourself while single will translate to you being happy in a new relationship.

Dating post-divorce is something that you should try when it feels right. There is no exact answer for when it’s time because everyone is different. Take some time to self-reflect and you’ll know when you’re ready to try dating again.

Mediation Prep: The Keys to Success

Divorce mediation is a good option if you’d prefer a more meeting-like approach to your divorce settlement. However, you still should take it just as seriously as a courtroom approach. The last thing you want to do is wait until the last second. Proper mediation prep helps your chances of getting a better, more agreeable settlement in the long run…

Mediation Prep: The Keys to Success

Lay the groundwork  

The first aspect of proper mediation prep should be figuring out the logistics. Having this figured out before the mediation even begins will help you and your spouse know what kind of structure to follow. If you don’t have a structure, this can make it harder to plan out what you want to discuss. 

Figure out what times you and your spouse are available to meet and for how long. This will let you plan out what you’d like to discuss at each meeting. That way, you can use the longer sessions for more in-depth matters, and the shorter ones for the lesser-pressing ones.

Gather your evidence 

In order to properly negotiate, you’ll need good evidence to support your claims. That’s why a crucial part of mediation prep is getting your documents gathered and organized. These documents will strengthen your ability to get a fair settlement you’re happy with.

Gathering financial documentation, like bank statements, credit card records, etc, goes a long way in helping your case. However, it’s not all just about numbers. If child custody is also being discussed, having records about their school and medical history help to show you’re a capable parent who can be trusted. 

Have a strategy

Gathering your information is one thing. However, you’ll also have to know how to use it. Knowing what you want out of your mediation is another important part of proper mediation prep.

Understand what kind of settlement would be fair to you and how your spouse might have a different idea of fair for them. Then, use this as a way to work towards compromise. You’ll both be more likely to get a settlement you’re happy with this way. 

Going into your mediation with a proper game plan is key for getting a good result. The best kinds of mediation are the ones where both spouses work together for a settlement. That way, they can walk away satisfied and optimistic for their new post-divorce lives.

Moving Forward: Setting Your New Course

Re-adjusting to life after your divorce can be difficult. It’s not uncommon to feel lost and confused after everything is said and done. However, there are different ways you can start moving forward with your new life. You’ll soon be able to see all the new different possibilities that you can take your life in…

Moving Forward: Setting Your Life Course

Focus on the positive outcomes

Many people get stuck on focusing on the negative aspects about their marriage and divorce once the divorce is over. The more you focus on these negative aspects, the more your overall thought process will become negative. That’s why moving forward means working on the positives. 

After your normal grieving period, then it’s time to start looking ahead. Think about the positive things that are possible now that you’re in control again. Once you’re able to think about them, then you’ll be able to make them a reality. 

Restructure & reorganize

Odds are that divorce wasn’t initially in your life plans. However, this shake-up has a silver lining in that you can take some time to restructure your future goals. This doesn’t mean “give up on everything you had planned”; rather, it just means think about what you can change to get yourself happy again. 

You can also reorganize your daily activities. Maybe you can start to pick up a new hobby. You can also start learning something that your ex usually took care of so you can be prepared in the future. Either way, you’re getting yourself out of your old life and into your new one. 

Spend time with others

It isn’t uncommon to feel lonely after your divorce. You can feel the need to shut yourself off from others during this time. Whether it’s due to feelings of grief, shame, or anger, these feelings can consume you.

Spending time with others helps to fight against these feelings. Being with friends or family can help you see you’re not truly alone. Instead, you have plenty of people who care about you. 

Divorce takes a toll out of you emotionally even when it’s successful. It can be hard to get yourself back in balance. However, if you remain focused on what’s important, you can start to move forward into a brighter, better life. 

Divorce Depression: Managing the Hurt

Divorce depression is something that can anyone going through a divorce can experience. Even if the divorce was your idea, that doesn’t mean you can’t become depressed over the ending of your marriage. However, these feelings don’t have to last. In fact, you can begin to fight them even while your divorce is underway…

Divorce Depression: Managing the Hurt

Keep a journal

You may feel like you have hundreds of things running through your head during a divorce. It can be hard to keep track of everything going on, let alone how you’re feeling on the day-to-day. This is where it helps to start keeping a journal.

Keeping a journal can help with divorce depression as you can get those feelings in your head out into the “real world”. Writing helps keep your head clear and truly figure out how you’re feeling about the divorce. Continuing to write will also let you see the progress you make in improving yourself over the course of your divorce. 

Don’t cut yourself off

It’s totally understandable if you want alone time during your divorce. However, it’s important to not cut yourself off from others completely. Doing so will only add onto your divorce depression.

Keep yourself connected to your close friends and family. Odds are, they’ll be your number one source of support during this time. You can also try and get involved in your local community. This will help you make new connections with people you may have never talked to otherwise!

Make changes, big and small

Even the slightest of changes in your daily routine can help get your out of your divorce depression funk. After all, why not make some positive changes to help counteract the negative ones? Not only are you keeping yourself busy, you’re also setting up your better post-divorce life. 

For example, you can remodel your house to be more to your liking. You can make some changes to your wardrobe. What’s important is making the changes you wish to make.

Divorce is difficult, but it’s also the chance to do things your way again. Find your own happiness and you can start your post-divorce life energized and ready for whatever comes next!

Divorce Prep: What to Consider

The more you’re prepared for something, the more likely it is to go well. This same principal applies to your divorce as well. Taking the proper steps of divorce prep can help you save yourself time, money, and stress. It’ll take some work, but it’ll be well worth it in the end…

Divorce Prep: What to Consider

Sort out your emotions

The first part of proper divorce prep is sorting out your emotions. Divorce is a very emotional time for all parties involved. Letting your emotions get out of hand can turn your divorce into a messy and complicated process. 

Of course, you shouldn’t try and act like a robot with no emotions during this time either. It’s all about finding the right, healthy balance of how you feel and how to process said feelings. Joining a support group or meeting with a therapist are good ways to help you get more control over your emotions. 

Start Organizing

Getting yourself organized is another part of proper divorce prep. Documents are a crucial component of divorce. This means you’ll have to get together tax returns, W-2 forms, bank statements, and a whole host of other documents. 

However, getting them together now means less work and cost to you in the long run. Divorce can leave you feeling distracted as you’ll have so many things you’ll need to do. Going into divorce organized will help you feel much more focused even as things start to pick up. 

Plan out the costs

Divorce can be a costly endeavor. Hidden costs can sneak up on you and make you pay way more than you originally estimated. That’s why it’s important to figure out your finances and make a plan around them.

Remember, you’ll have to start paying divorce costs on top of your already existing expenses. You’ll also need to plan out how much money you’ll need after the divorce is over as well. Balancing your budget is one of the best ways to make your divorce go much smoother than expected. 

Divorce prep is all about getting yourself ready for the divorce process ahead. Going through a divorce can be a lengthy and difficult time. Therefore, you’ll want to set yourself up for success as much as possible.

Court Attire: Dress for Success

It only takes 1/10th of a second for someone to form a first impression. This means it’s important to make as good of a first impression as possible. This is especially true in court, where the impression you give can have lasting effects on the outcome of your case. Having the proper court attire goes a long way in making that first impression on the judge a good one…

Court Attire: Dress for Success

Keep it classy

Everyday clothing has become much more relaxed these days than in the past. The rise of business casual dress codes also means that some people are unaware of what “normal” business attire should consist of. This can translate to potentially unprofessional court attire.

You’ll want to approach dressing for court like dressing for a job interview. For men, this means collared shirts, dress pants, and ties. For women, dresses, skirts and blouses, or dress pants and tops will work. Make sure they are simple with no crazy designs or colors as well. 

Tattoos and piercings 

Tattoos and body piercings have also become much more common these days. However, how do they apply when thinking of court attire? What would be considered appropriate versus crossing the line? It really comes down to finding the best way to mix looking professional versus expressing yourself.

You’ll probably want to wear clothes that’ll cover your tattoos as best as possible. You’ll also want to take out any “unique” piercings like nose or lip ones. Additionally, if you have colored hair, make sure to dye it to a natural color for your court appearance. This shows the judge you’re going the extra mile to be professional in their courtroom. 

It’s all about respect

Proper court attire all comes down to showing respect for court and the judge. If the judge sees that you’re putting in the effort to treat your case seriously, then it boosts your credibility. Dressing properly isn’t a guarantee of success, of course; it just means you’re starting off on the right foot. 

Dressing is just one part of the full courtroom experience. You’ll also need to make sure you’re aware of proper courtroom etiquette. Having both perfected will let you and your lawyer focus on the case at hand rather than any distractions.