Author: Robert Reeves

How to Handle Financial Stress in a Marriage

Financial stress in a marriage is one of the leading reasons for divorce. Financial stress can affect almost every part of your life. If one partner comes into a relationship with more or less money, if one partner is a bigger spender, or if you are in debt, it can lead to a lot of anxiety. Begin by educating yourself on how to be financially savvy. Talk about money often with your spouse. It shouldn’t be a secret in your relationship. Know how much money is coming in and going out so that you can make a budget together. And finally, take baby steps. If you are drowning in debt, set a small goal and go from there. Hopefully, you’ll be able to build up savings and establish healthy spending habits so that financial stress doesn’t lead to relationship problems.

How to Handle Financial Stress in a Marriage: Don’t Let it Tear You Apart

Educate Yourself

The first important step to handling financial stress in a marriage is to educate yourself on how to be financially savvy. Learn how budgeting works and how different types of retirement plans can benefit you. Speak to a financial advisor, or take a class online to help you understand the ins and outs of being financially literate.

Talk About Money

Another way to help handle financial stress in a marriage is to not let money be a secret between you. You should talk about money often together. Even if one partner makes more or less than the other, you should both be included in important financial discussions. Both partners should have a firm understanding of your financial health as a couple. In addition, both partners need to have a say in how finances are handled.

Know Your In/Out

It can help you manage financial stress in a marriage if you have a clear budget. The best way to do this is to have a detailed picture of the money coming in versus the money going out. For example, for a month or two, track all of your spending and all of the money that you bring in. You might be surprised at how much you spend on things you don’t need. Then, make a budget that takes into account as many expenses and possible future expenses as you can remember. You’ll still have unexpected things come up, but hopefully, you’ll be better prepared for them.

Take Baby Steps

Finally, one last way to help manage financial stress in a marriage is to take baby steps when it comes to your financial health. If you are in debt or struggling, try to pinpoint one quick way to save a bit of money each month. You don’t have to solve your entire financial problem at once. Take it little by little. Start with an emergency fund. Next, begin to work on getting rid of debt by building a budget and sticking to it.

Managing the financial stress in a marriage can be difficult, but it is so important. Oftentimes financial stress can lead to marital problems, anxiety, depression, arguments, and even divorce. If you are suffering from financial stress, try to educate yourself on healthy spending. Then, sit down and talk about money with your spouse. You both need to be on the same page when it comes to your financial health as a couple. Get a clear picture of your spending by making a list of money coming in and going out. From there, create a budget and stick to it that gives you small attainable saving goals so that little by little you build your wealth. Hopefully, you’ll be able to tackle any debt that you have as a couple and learn to have a healthier relationship with your finances.

Divorce Timeline: What to Expect

Having a general overview of the divorce timeline can help you get an idea of what to expect from the divorce process. It can be overwhelming when you first begin looking at all of the steps that you’ll need to take. However, having an experienced attorney by your side can help you through the process. Deciding to get a divorce is the first step you’ll take. After that, you and your spouse will each prepare for the divorce separately. Then you’ll move to the negotiations stage of the process. This is where things can get quite complicated and can take much longer or shorter than you expect. And finally, you’ll settle your divorce and everything will be finalized. Hopefully, the process will be as stress-free and easy as possible with the help of your attorney.

Divorce Timeline: What to Expect When You Are Going Through the Divorce Process

Deciding to Divorce

The first step in the divorce timeline is you and your spouse deciding that you want a divorce. You might come to this conclusion together or one partner might surprise the other with a divorce. However you come to the decision, you’ll both want to go ahead and hire legal representation. Your attorney will fight for your interests in court and will provide you with all of their legal expertise to make sure that you are content with your settlement. One of you will need to file a legal divorce petition, serve it to the other, and file it with the courthouse.

Preparing for Divorce

The next step in the divorce timeline is for each of you to prepare for the divorce proceedings. You’ll each have to gather paperwork about your financial situation, your assets, debts, and many other documents. You can also request documents from your spouse as well. In most states, you’ll attempt to go to mediation before going to a full trial.

Negotiations

Negotiations are probably the most stressful part of the divorce timeline. You and your partner will discuss how to split up your assets and make many other decisions. If you can come to agreements in mediation, you’ll come up with a divorce settlement and file it with the courthouse. If you are not able to agree, your case will go to trial.

Settlement

The final step in the divorce timeline is a settlement. If you and your partner end up having to go to trial, then the court will decide how your case will be settled. They will issue a legal divorce decree that outlines each of your duties and the terms of the divorce. If either party is still in disagreement, they can appeal some of the judgment. If both parties agree to this then your divorce is final and you can begin moving on. It’s time to legally change your name and begin the process of healing.

The divorce timeline can seem a little overwhelming when you first begin looking into it. However, an experienced attorney can make the process seem much more manageable. They will walk you through each step so that you are getting the best settlement possible. You’ll begin the process when you decide officially that you’d like to file for divorce. After this, you and your spouse will prepare documents and then move towards mediation. Hopefully, you can settle here, but if not you’ll continue negotiations at trial. And finally, the court will settle your divorce and issue a decree that spells out the terms of your divorce. After this, you can begin to move on and heal from the process. Hopefully, you and your attorney will be able to negotiate a settlement that you and your spouse are both happy with.

The Emotions of Divorce: The Ups and Downs

There are so many emotions of divorce that you might be feeling. Divorce has been compared to the death of a loved one. And just like with grief, you’re likely to experience an entire range of emotions. You might feel relief, anger, hurt, guilt, resentment, happiness, and anything in between. One of the ways to cope that can be very helpful is to seek out a therapist. You might also try journaling to organize your thoughts. And many find it helpful to make time for their social life again and re-connect with friends or re-focus on other relationships. If you are feeling overwhelmed by the emotions surrounding your divorce, know that you are not alone and that there is help out there.

The Emotions of Divorce: The Ups and Downs and How to Cope with Them

What’s “Normal?”

First of all, there is no “normal” when it comes to the emotions of divorce. Some people are relieved at the end of their marriage, while others grieve. And some don’t even know how they’re feeling, or change from moment to moment. It’s perfectly normal for you to cycle through emotions constantly after a divorce. For example, one minute you might feel excited about the opportunities ahead of you, and the next you are crying because you miss your ex. All of these emotions are normal and valid.

Coping Through Therapy

One way to cope with the emotions of divorce is to try going to therapy. Many find that a therapist can help them see a different perspective on their divorce. They will likely give you some coping mechanisms to try. In addition, they are often a source of advice when it comes to interacting with your ex in the future. They can help you learn to better communicate with them to make a co-parenting relationship more successful.

Coping Through Journaling

Many find that journaling is very helpful with dealing with the emotions of divorce. Journaling is easy to do and doesn’t need to take much time. If you get into the habit of daily journaling, you can keep your entries as short or long as you like. Some people also find it helpful to write inspirational things or affirmations in their journals as a daily reminder. Journaling can help you organize your thoughts and help you see the bigger picture on some things.

Coping Through Social Interaction

Finally, one last coping mechanism for the emotions of divorce is to focus on other relationships. It’s likely that during the stress of divorce you might not have had as much time for other people as usual. Maybe friends have fallen by the wayside or you’ve even been too busy to give your kids all the attention you’d like. Take time now that the divorce is final to focus on these relationships. It will give you a sense of purpose and also be a distraction.

The emotions of divorce can feel overwhelming at times, and that’s normal. You might cycle between all the stages of grief several times in a day. There are many coping mechanisms to help you handle the stress, but you need to figure out what works best for your personality. For example, maybe seeing a therapist would be particularly helpful for you. Or maybe you need to organize your thoughts by putting pen to paper. And yet others might feel restored after a long lunch with friends. However, you choose to cope with your emotions, know that you are not alone in feeling emotional after a divorce. Hopefully, in time, you’ll start to feel less overwhelmed and will be able to look at the positive side of things and view your divorce as a new beginning.

The Dangers of Trash-Talking After Divorce

Trash-talking after divorce is never a good idea, no matter how contentious your break-up is. Although it can feel like a good release of pent-up emotions in the short term, it can harm your divorce settlement. Your friends and family might be the best options to vent to, but your emotions can fluctuate a lot. And they often don’t forget the things you’ve said. It can also hurt your divorce settlement if your ex finds out about the trash-talking. It’s very painful for children to hear one parent bashing another. And it can affect your custody arrangement as well. All in all, there is no benefit to trash-talking your ex. You might have hurt feelings or anger towards them, but it’s best to confront these emotions with a therapist or close friend, not the world-at-large.

The Dangers of Trash-Talking After Divorce: It’s Never a Good Idea

Your Friends Won’t Forget

One reason why trash-talking after divorce is dangerous is that your emotions can fluctuate a lot. Divorce is incredibly stressful. There might be times when you’re feeling very angry at your ex. And others when you’re missing the good times. If you constantly trash-talk your ex with your friends and family, they’re unlikely to be sympathetic when you’re feeling nostalgic about your relationship. They’ll only remember the negative things you’ve said in the past.

It Can Hurt Your Settlement

Another reason why trash-talking after divorce is not a good idea is that it can harm your settlement. If your ex finds out that you are bad-mouthing them, it can make the divorce even more contentious. They might get even more aggressive, and you’ll end up in a worse situation with your settlement. The more you can both get along, the better. Be especially careful about posts on social media, as those are easy to track down and you never know who might see them and send them to your ex.

It’s Painful for Children

Another negative effect of trash-talking after divorce is that it can be very painful for your children. They don’t need to hear all the details of your breakup. Your ex might not be the best partner in a marriage, but it doesn’t mean that they aren’t a loving parent. Speaking ill about the in front of children makes kids feel ashamed and guilty for loving their parent. It can hurt their self-esteem and cause resentment later. It’s best to keep things as civil as possible with your ex for the sake of your children.

It Can Affect Custody

One thing that people often don’t realize is a negative effect of trash-talking after divorce is a possible impact on your custody arrangement. Part of what a judge looks at when determining custody is seeing if you and your partner can be successful co-parents. If you are trash-talking your ex, it doesn’t show the judge that you are interested in keeping a civil relationship. A judge needs to know that you and your ex can put your differences aside to parent your children as well as possible.

Trash-talking after divorce can lead to a lot of serious consequences. Not to mention a lot of hurt feelings. While it might feel good to let off steam, if you blast your ex to your entire family or social media, it can come back to haunt you. Your friends and family are less likely to feel sympathetic when you need some support when you miss your ex. You also might antagonize your ex and make your settlement even more contentious. Your children can end up very hurt as well if you are trash-talking their other parent. And it can prove to a judge that you aren’t a good candidate for co-parenting as well. All in all, trash-talking is just never a good idea. If you feel like you need to speak to somebody about your divorce and your feelings, find a qualified divorce therapist.

How-to Improve Your Post-Divorce Sleep

After your divorce, you may notice than many aspects of your health take a hit. Post-divorce sleep is one of the areas which a lot of people struggle with. Therefore, it’s helpful to know how you can get the rest your body needs…

How-to Improve Your Post-Divorce Sleep: What to Try

Have a consistent schedule

Most people know that it’s good to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night. However, that’s only one part of getting good post-divorce sleep. It’s important to also get this sleep on a consistent schedule. When you have a consistent schedule, your body will more easily fall asleep and wake up on time.

If you don’t have a schedule, you’ll find it’s much harder to sleep. Falling asleep too early could cause you to wake up too early. At the same time, falling asleep later can make you wake up later. Trying to jump around in your schedule will just lead to an erratic sleep pattern.

Limit light exposure

Limiting your light exposure is also important for improving your post-divorce sleep. Ideally, you’ll want to sleep in a room with little to no light. This will help your body shift into its “sleep mode” faster. It’ll also allow for you to sleep without worrying about light flashes waking you up.

Don’t forget that this doesn’t just apply to things like the sun or your room’s lights. Your TV, computer, and smartphone are also included in this. Too much exposure to the blue light from our phones in particular can prevent us from falling asleep when we should.

Watch your diet

Some changes to your diet can help improve your post-divorce sleep. For example, you won’t want to consume any nicotine or caffeine before you go to sleep. These stimulants will work to keep you up instead, making it much harder to both fall and stay asleep.

You should also avoid drinking too much water and any alcohol. Having too much water can cause you to get up for frequent bathroom breaks. Alcohol can seemingly be something which makes people tired. In reality, it tends to disrupt our sleeping patterns and make people wake up throughout the night.

How-to Find a Post-Divorce Apartment

Following your divorce, you may need to start getting ready to move. Finding a new home can be both difficult and expensive. As a result, many people opt for a post-divorce apartment instead. If you’re in the market for an apartment, there’s a few things to consider while you’re searching…

How-to Find a Post-Divorce Apartment: Key Factors

Budget accordingly

One of the most important things to remember when looking for a post-divorce apartment is your budget. Your divorce may have left a bit of an impact on your finances. You may also need to completely redo your past budget. Therefore, you need to make sure your new apartment won’t break the bank.

Remember that there’s more to your apartment’s expenses than just rent. You’ll also have to consider costs like groceries and utilities as well. When you’re looking at an apartment, be sure to ask what is or isn’t included, and what other extra costs they may have.

Proximity to others

You should also consider how close your apartment is to others important to you. After your divorce, your friends and family are going to still be an important source of divorce. That’s why it may be good to find a place close-by to them. This makes it easy for them to come over and for you to spend time with them.

If you’re a parent, then you’ll especially want to give some consideration to your kids. It may be important to find a place which isn’t too far from your other co-parent to make things easier. You may also want to think about if your apartment will have enough space for your kids should they stay over there.

Future goals

Something you don’t want to forget to consider when looking for a post-divorce apartment is what your future plans are. For instance, consider what kind of job you want to work down the line. Will your apartment be close by to those opportunities? If not, then you may want to view this as just a temporary steppingstone.

Of course, you should also think about if you want to buy a new home. Some people like to stay in their apartment for a few years before settling down in a house again. Still, if you want to move into a new home sooner than that, you probably won’t want a super-long lease.

COVID-Safe Activities for Young Children

With the Delta variant on the rise, you might be searching for COVID-safe activities for young children. It can be hard to know what is safe and what is a risk, especially with young children in tow. There is still so much unknown about the virus, especially when it comes to young kids. If you are trying to limit your potential exposure, outdoor activities or places where you can socially distance are key. For example, try picking up some food and taking it to a pretty outdoor spot. You can also try the airport overlook and watch planes take off. There are plenty of ways to have outdoor fun, even in the heat. And finally, if you can consider taking a trip or trying out camping with your children. Depending on their ages, there are still plenty of ways to entertain your children without risking exposure.

COVID-Safe Activities for Young Children: Stay Safe and Sane

Picnic

One of the easiest COVID-safe activities for young children is a picnic outside. Try picking up food from a favorite restaurant or ordering curbside takeout. Or you can just try making a special lunch. Then find a pretty place and set out a picnic blanket and sit together and eat. If the weather is nasty you can always do an indoor picnic. Just set up a blanket on the floor and put on a movie. Kids love it when parents switch up the routine, especially if food or movies are involved.

Airport Overlook

Airport overlooks and watching construction sites are other COVID-safe activities for young children. If your kids are interested in trucks or planes, these are great go-to activities. Most airports have a specific overlook where cars can park and watch planes take off and land. You can bring along a picnic, or even just stay in your car and watch. If your children enjoy construction trucks, try to find a site where you can park a safe distance away and watch the trucks working.

Outdoor Fun

There are plenty of COVID-safe activities for young children outdoors. Set up an obstacle course in your backyard with hula hoops or easy activities for them to complete. Or try out a water table with toddlers. If the weather is hot, set up your sprinklers and let the kids run through them, or let them play in a baby pool.

Camping

Finally, if it’s financially possible and feasible time-wise, traveling is one of the most fun COVID-safe activities for young children. You could rent an Air B&B someplace new and try some hikes or outdoor exploring. Many children really love camping as well. Roast s’mores and let them play in creeks and mud. Getting out of your house and just having a change of scenery can improve everybody’s mood. Even if you don’t go very far!

Covid-safe activities for young children are important with the virus still running rampant. If you are looking for ways to stay socially distanced, you can try some of these fun activities with your kids. Try a picnic outside or even in a new room of your house. Check out the airport overlook or a construction site if your kids enjoy watching trucks and planes. You can find plenty of outdoor activities and even water activities if the weather is hot. And finally, change the scenery and get out of town or take a camping trip to mix things up. Keeping kids entertained while staying COVID-safe can be difficult but in the end, it’ll be worth it if it makes you feel safer.

Ways You Can Support a Foster Family

If you are not quite ready to become a foster parent but are wondering how to support a foster family, there are plenty of meaningful ways to be helpful. You can help gather supplies before a new placement arrives. You can also provide food or organize meals. Being a good listener for the parents can be very helpful as well. And finally, you can be there to help welcome a new foster child into the family. Fostering is an amazing way to help the community and provide a meaningful relationship for a family and a child. However, it can be stressful. Foster families can use all the support you can give!

Ways You Can Support a Foster Family: Be Helpful

Help with Supplies

One way to support a foster family is to help gather supplies before a new placement arrives. Sometimes, a foster family doesn’t know that a new child will be living with them until the day before they arrive. They may not have all of the supplies that they need to take care of the child. For example, they may not have diapers, crib, correct size car seats, etc. You can help purchase supplies for them. You can also reach out to your community to see if anybody is willing to donate items.

Organize a Meal Train

Another way to support a foster family is to organize some food for them. Welcoming a new foster child can be a very busy time when it’s easy for parents to get overwhelmed. Cooking a full meal might be the last thing on their mind. If you enjoy cooking or can purchase some meals, drop them by the house. You can also prepare easy frozen meals for them to heat up. If there are other people you know who are wanting to help, organize a meal train where different people can sign up to bring food on different days.

Be a Good Listener

Being a good listener is a very helpful way to support a foster family. Bringing a new foster child into your home is a really exciting time. But it can also be very stressful and filled with difficult emotions. The parents sometimes can feel overwhelmed and just need a supportive friend to talk to. They may be feeling scared, stressed, frustrated, or completely frazzled. Be a sympathetic listener and ask them how they would like you to support them.

Help Welcome a New Placement

Finally, another way to support a foster family is to help them adjust. Invite them all over for a fun game night or group activity. Or you could purchase a new game or something that the family can all do together the first night. Foster children often have many appointments, so it can also be helpful to offer to drive them or to stay with the rest of the family while the foster parents take them. You can also investigate the requirements to be able to provide respite care or babysitting.

Becoming a foster parent can be a very stressful process. If you’ve been on the fence about becoming a foster parent, you can begin by helping to support a foster family. You can help a family collect supplies for their new placement, or organize a meal train and food. It’s great to be a supportive listener if you have a friend becoming a foster parent. It can often be an emotional journey. And finally, you can be supportive by inviting the family to hang out or give them a new activity to do together. You can even get qualified to provide respite care which is a huge help for families. Fostering is such an amazing act of love and supporting foster families is a terrific use of your time and energy.

Dating After an Abusive Relationship

Dating after an abusive relationship can be daunting to think about. If you have escaped an abusive relationship, you might be extremely nervous about trusting another person. It can be difficult to even put yourself out there. You might also question what a healthy relationship looks like. It’s important to be gentle with yourself and recognize that all of these feelings are perfectly normal. Healing after abuse takes time, and you want to make sure that you have mentally coped with the trauma before moving to a new relationship. Educate yourself on what healthy relationships look like. Always follow your instincts when it comes to dating. If something feels off, leave. And finally, take things very slow. Easing back into dating can be a lot if you’re also healing from trauma. Take things at your own pace and build trust slowly with new partners.

Dating After an Abusive Relationship: How to Start Again

Take Time to Heal

Before your begin dating after an abusive relationship, it’s important to take plenty of time to heal. You might have deep scars from your abusive relationship. Both physical and mental. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse, and both take time to heal from. Reach out to a therapist and speak to somebody you trust if you find that you are having trouble coping with the abuse. Don’t try to start dating until you feel like you are in a healthy mental state.

Educate Yourself

Next, before dating after an abusive relationship, educate yourself. Your views of what’s normal and not normal might be warped from your abusive relationship. Learn what a healthy dating life looks like. Do a little research on the many ways that emotional abuse can present. If you know what to look for, you can spot a red flag more easily with future relationships.

Follow Your Gut

Always follow your gut when dating after an abusive relationship. If anything feels “off” about your date, don’t be afraid to leave. If you have been dating somebody for a while and they are controlling, quick-tempered, or disrespectful, it can be an early warning sign of abuse. Trust your instincts and get out early if you sense any sort of red flags with a partner.

Take Things Slow

Finally, when dating after an abusive relationship, take things slow. Take time to get to know anybody that you date. Make sure that you trust them completely before getting too intimate with them. When you are comfortable, you can open up about your abuse with them. If any partner is pressuring you to move more quickly than you are comfortable with, they are not respecting your needs. This is a major red flag in a relationship. A loving partner should allow you to take as much time as you need to be comfortable with getting intimate.

Dating after an abusive relationship can bring up a lot of emotions. Often people find that they haven’t really taken enough time to cope with their abuse. If this is the case with you, try not to pressure yourself into dating too quickly. Take time to fully heal from your trauma. Educate yourself on what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like. Always follow your gut instincts about a potential partner, and get out quickly if they show any abusive tendencies. Finally, take things slow with anybody that you begin dating. If they are pressuring you to move too quickly, then they are not being respectful of you. Hopefully, you’ll be able to find a loving partner who you can completely trust and who will treat you with the respect that you deserve.

Adoption and Foster Care: How are They Different?

Adoption and foster care vary in many different ways. While they are similar in that each is a way for a family to welcome a child as one of their own and help a child in need, they are not the same. They differ in the permanence and time commitments of each. Foster care is a temporary situation, while adoption is permanent. In addition, the goals of foster care and adoption are different. Legally, the outcomes of each also are quite different. And finally, the training involved and preparation for each is slightly different. If you are considering adoption or fostering, you are potentially making a huge difference in the life of a child in need and your own life.

Adoption and Foster Care: How are They Different From Each Other?

Permanence

The main difference between adoption and foster care is the levels of permanence. Foster care is meant to be a temporary situation where you take care of a child in need for a short time. In contrast, adopting a child makes that child legally your own. You will raise them for the rest of their life. In fostering, you might end up deciding to adopt your foster child, however, it is not always the case.

Goal

The reason why there is a difference between adoption and foster care in terms of permanence is that the goals of each are different. The goal of adoption is to find a child that you will legally make a part of your family forever. They will be your child in every sense of the word permanently. However, the goal of foster care is to take care of a child in need until they can be reunited with their birth parents. While some foster parents adopt their children, the actual goal is to take care of them until their parents are well enough to have them come back to live in their home.

Legal Rights

Another difference between adoption and foster care is the legal rights of the parents. In a foster care situation, the child’s legal guardian usually retains all parental rights. This is typically the case, but not always. In contrast, an adoptive parent becomes a child’s legal parent.

Training

Finally, the preparation involved is another difference between the two. With each, you’ll need to do a home study and prepare your house to bring home a child. You’ll likely be assigned a caseworker to work within either situation who will help prepare you for the journey ahead. There might be more training involved with foster care than adoption. This is because children in foster care sometimes have emotional and physical needs due to past trauma. It can also be incredibly expensive to adopt, especially if you opt for a private adoption agency.

There are several differences between these two avenues of building a family. Deciding which ones will work for you should take time and careful consideration. Foster care is meant to be a temporary situation while adoption is permanent. This is because the goal of foster care is to reunite the child with their parent while the goal of adoption is to become the legal parent of a child. The training and cost involved with each can also vary. If you’re considering either one, consult with parents you know who have been through each process. They can give you plenty of insight and advice and will be a source of support when you do make your decision. Whichever you decide to do, you’ll be making a huge difference in the life of a child and opening up your heart to expanding your family.