Author: Robert Reeves

Warning Signs that Your Partner is Cheating

If you have been wondering whether or not your spouse has been unfaithful to you, you might be looking for warning signs that your partner is cheating. However, there are plenty of false signals as well. The truth of the matter is that if you suspect your partner is cheating, it’s best to simply ask them. Assuming they’re cheating is never the best course of action because many things can affect behavior besides cheating. However, communication changes or attitude changes can sometimes be a red flag of unfaithfulness. In addition, physical changes can sometimes be as well. And finally, behavioral changes can sometimes be a sign that your partner is cheating. While some of these changes can indicate unfaithfulness, never just assume this is the case. Hopefully, your partner is just making lifestyle changes or reacting to other stressors in their life that you both can work through together.

Warning Signs that Your Partner is Cheating: Red Flags

Communication Changes

Classic warning signs that your partner is cheating are changes in communication. If they are all of a sudden very vague about plans, there might be a reason. Often, partners who are being unfaithful have a hard time carrying on the normal conversation the way they used to. If you feel like you’re being lied to constantly, definitely investigate further. Sometimes, people can become dismissive when they are attempting to cover up an affair. If your partner is communicating with you in a way that is not normal, it may be worth it to ask them if there are any issues you need to discuss.

Attitude Changes

Attitude changes can also sometimes be warning signs that your partner is cheating. If they are suddenly moody or sullen around you it can mean something has changed in your relationship. Of course, this could also indicate any number of other issues like stress at work. However, if they are suddenly negative towards your relationship or critical of you, it could be a red flag. Finally, if they seem confused about themselves it might mean that they are struggling with infidelity.

Physical Changes

Physical changes can obviously be signs of a person just wanting a change in their life. However, it sometimes can also be another of the classic warning signs that your partner is cheating. If they suddenly start dressing differently or getting in shape, it could be that they are trying to impress somebody else. In addition, if they suddenly pick up new hobbies that take up hours of their time, you might consider having a frank conversation with them.

Behavioral Changes

Behavioral changes are probably the clearest of the warning signs that your partner is cheating. If they suddenly are gone for long stretches of time or leaving the house at odd hours it can be a red flag. In addition, if they begin locking their phones suddenly or acting strangely private about their computer, you should investigate. Suddenly being on phone calls or texting all day long can be signs of cheating too. Of course changes in your sex life can also be warning signs of infidelity. And finally, if you are noticing odd spending habits, it’s worth a conversation.

While changes in behavior can be warning signs that your partner is cheating, there are always other possible explanations. If you notice changes in their communication, attitude, or appearance there could be any number of reasons that do not involve cheating. Changes in behavior can sometimes be clearer indicators. However, these two could also be a result of factors other than infidelity. The bottom line is that if you suspect your partner is cheating, you need to sit them down for an honest conversation. Hopefully, they are just reacting to stresses at work or outside factors and the two of you can work through them together.

How To Admit That You’ve Had an Affair

Nobody goes into a marriage expecting to cheat, but unfortunately, infidelity is a common occurrence. If you’ve been wanting to admit that you’ve had an affair, you may not even know how to start. It can be scary to even consider bringing it up, but you’ll probably be relieved to have the truth out there. Before you begin you should give some deep thinking as to why the affair even happened. Decide what you’d like your future to look like. Set the correct tone for your conversation. Deliver the news honestly and try to be understanding. And finally, give your partner space to think about what you’ve told them. They’ll have a lot of feelings about what happened, but hopefully, you two can work it out and move forward.

How to Admit That You’ve Had an Affair: Fessing Up

Find the Cause

Before you even try to admit that you’ve had an affair, it’s best to think about how it even happened. Were you looking for something that was missing in your relationship? Was it a one-time thing or a relationship? Consider whether or not you’d like to move forward with your spouse. They may not want to stay together when they find out, but you need to first decide if it’s even what you want. Really explore the situation internally and try to pinpoint how you could prevent it from ever happening again.

Set the Tone

When you actually sit down with your spouse to admit that you’ve had an affair, you’ll want to set the correct tone. Make sure that you’re both completely alone and have plenty of time to talk. If you have kids, make arrangements for them. Don’t try to catch your spouse while they’re heading out the door or already stressed. They will probably be more comfortable if you talk to them at home rather than out in public.

Deliver the News

When you finally admit that you’ve had an affair, it’s best to get to the point quickly and calmly. Your spouse will probably have a lot of questions for you. Answer everything truthfully. This is the time to get everything out in the open, so don’t try to hold anything back. Even if they ask questions that are painful to answer, they deserve to hear the full story. Try not to be defensive even if they get angry.

Give them Space

Finally, after you’ve had the conversation where you admit that you’ve had an affair, give your partner space. They will be feeling many emotions. Anger, hurt, embarrassment, sadness, among others. They may take time to be able to really sort out how they feel about what happened. In addition, they may want to distance themselves from you for a time. Don’t try to rush them to decide what they want to do about your relationship. Give them the space they need to take it all in and decide how they want to move forward.

Mustering up the courage to admit that you’ve had an affair can be difficult. It could end your relationship or marriage. However, most people find that keeping major secrets from their partners causes significant stress. You might feel better after the truth comes out. And it’s better for you to tell your spouse rather than have them find out from somebody else. Think about how you’d like your relationship to move forward before you tell them. Set the right tone by choosing a setting that allows you plenty of time and privacy for the talk. Be truthful and direct with them when you actually tell them. And finally, give them space afterward to decide how they feel. Hopefully, you and your spouse will be able to get help and move forward with your relationship.

The Pros and Cons of Single Parenting After a Divorce

If you’re considering seeking sole custody, you may be wondering about the pros and cons of single parenting after a divorce. There are a lot of factors to consider when deciding if this is the right choice for you. One positive of single parenting is that you get to be the decision-maker for your children. Another positive is that your children will have a lot of consistency living in one home with one parent rather than going back and forth. One negative of the situation is that you won’t have another parent around for support. And finally, it can have a negative impact on your children’s relationship with the non-custodial parent. There are many positives and negatives to single parenting, but hopefully, you’ll be able to decide on the choice that works best for your family.

The Pros and Cons of Single Parenting After a Divorce: Dealing with Sole Custody

Pro: Getting to Be the Deciding Factor

One of the positives of single parenting after a divorce is that you get to be the single deciding factor. This is especially helpful if your ex-partner is flaky or inconsistent. If they are in jail or have mental health issues that prevent them from making sound parenting choices, you get to be the legal guardian. This means that you don’t have to run concerns by them first. You can act as your children’s sole advocate. This is especially helpful in cases where there is a medical emergency and a quick decision must be made. Single parenting means that you get to decide alone how best to raise your children.

Pro: Consistency

Another positive of single parenting after a divorce is that your children will have a lot of consistency in their lives. Going back and forth between two different homes can be very hard on kids. Especially if you and your ex have very different lifestyles and parenting styles. If you’re the sole guardian, they will stay with you all of the time and won’t have that back and forth. This can create a very close bond between you.

Con: Lack of Support

One negative of single parenting after a divorce is that you will not have the support of a partner. While making decisions alone can seem like a good thing, often it’s nice to have a partner to bounce ideas off of. It can be hard to find the emotional support as well as general help with childcare that you might need. If you work full time it can be hard to find caregivers for your children. In addition, you may have a lack of financial support to deal with as well. You’ll most likely be raising them mostly on your own money, which can be difficult when you’re used to two full salaries.

Con: Relationship Gap

Another con of single parenting after a divorce is that your children’s relationship with their other parents could suffer. It’s difficult for children to spend much less time with one parent than the other. Often it creates resentment and bitterness. Your children might miss their other parents and ask you frequently if they can spend time with them. In addition, it can strain your relationship with your kids if they view you as keeping them from their other parent. However, you know what’s best for your children and must make the decision that is right for you and them.

There are plenty of pros and cons of single parenting after a divorce besides the ones above. In fact, deciding between sole and joint custody can be very complicated and difficult. Carefully weigh the positives and negatives of each option. Consider the pros that you’ll be the sole decider on issues and that your children will have consistency in their lives. But also weigh the cons of having less support and the possible negative effects on your relationships. Consider each option and decide what makes the most sense for your family. Hopefully, you’ll be able to come to a decision that works for you and your children.

Helping Your Children Through Your Divorce

Divorce can be incredibly painful and stressful, and can also be stressful on your kids. Helping your children through your divorce is so important because they may be feeling a lot of emotions and not know how to handle them. Be patient with them as they sort out how they’re feeling. Also, be a good listener when they come to you with fears or concerns. Be reassuring and continually make sure they realize that you both still love them. And finally, you and your ex should still be a team when it comes to your children. Divorce is hard on everybody, but it’s important not to forget that your children can be feeling all the stresses that you are.

Helping Your Children Through Your Divorce: Help Them Cope With a Stressful Time

Be Patient

Helping your children through your divorce starts with being patient. This needs to start from the first moment you tell them that the divorce is happening. Give them plenty of space and time to react to the news. Even after you’ve told them, it might take them several days or even weeks to fully process what it means. Their entire world is changing. They may have a lot of questions about what their lives are going to look like in the future. Try to be patient and give them as much time as they need to process their emotions.

Be a Good Listener

Some children react to divorce by becoming very quiet and inward. However, some children are the opposite and want to talk things over. If your children are wanting to discuss concerns with you, be a good listener. Helping your children through your divorce means hearing out all of their fears. They may get angry, or blame you, or feel hurt. Listen to what they say without getting defensive.

Be Reassuring

Helping your children through your divorce often means reassuring them that the divorce is not their fault. No matter how you phrase the reasons for your split up, many children are prone to blaming themselves. Even though it likely has nothing to do with them. They’ll need to hear those words from you frequently. Reassure them that things are changing right now but that they’ll feel settled soon. They will find a new routine that will seem very normal. And of course, always reassure them about how much you love them and support them. Remind them that you’re always there to listen if they are feeling afraid or sad about all the changes happening in their life.

Be a Team

Finally, helping your children through your divorce relies on you and your ex being a team. You may have trouble being around each other. You may even resent them or have all sorts of bitterness towards them. However, you both need to work together to establish a healthy routine for your children. Playing the blame game only ends up hurting your children in the long run. Set the same boundaries for when they’re at each of your houses and don’t try to win their favor by buying them gifts. Your children don’t need to hear about the problems you had in your marriage. Try to remember that they probably deeply love your ex and need to know that you’re supportive of the relationship they have with their other parent.

Helping your children through your divorce is so important because children experience big feelings. But they often don’t know how to process these feelings and can get overwhelmed easily. Be patient when they’re explaining how they feel and be a good listener. Reassure them repeatedly that they are loved and that they did not have anything to do with the divorce. And finally, you and your ex need to be a team, at least when it comes to your children. It’s important to set aside your differences and your bitterness in order to parent them the best way you can. They need your love and support at a time in their lives that is bound to be stressful.

Survival Guide for Dating After Divorce

Dating after divorce can seem very scary and overwhelming. Whether you’ve been married a long time or are a newlywed you are still adjusting to an entirely different future than what you expected. Make sure that you are ready to start dating again, there’s no need to rush. Don’t complain about your ex on dates as that can be a bit of a buzzkill. Take it slow when you find somebody that you like. And finally, have fun and relax! Dating should be fun and enjoyable. Don’t stress too much about finding a new partner, just enjoy the experience.

Survival Guide for Dating After Divorce: Getting Back in the Game

Make Sure You’re Ready

Before you start dating after divorce, make sure that you’re completely ready to get back in the game. You need to take time to adjust to all the changes in your life. In addition, going through a divorce is incredibly stressful, so make sure that you’ve recovered from the emotional upheaval of it all. Before you even think about going on a date, make sure that you take time for some self-love first. Put yourself as a priority and you’ll be more confident and open to a new potential partner.

Don’t Complain About Your Ex

Dating after divorce has one hard and fast rule: don’t talk about the ex. At least not at first. It’s best to take time to figure out what went wrong in your relationship. Both on your ex’s end and things that you might have done. Reflect on what you want in a new partner and try not to make comparisons. When you start dating somebody and they ask about your divorce, try to discuss it in a rational way. Bad-mouthing your ex-spouse can make you sound petty, so showing that you’ve maturely handled the divorce is best.

Take it Slow

Next, when dating after divorce, take it slow. There’s no need to rush into your next serious relationship. Taking it slow will give you time to really examine the relationship as it grows. In this way, you can hopefully spot any red flags. You’ll have a chance to address them or end the relationship before things are too serious. If you have children, it’s especially important to take your time. Make sure that you only introduce them to people that you see a future with. Otherwise, you run the risk of them getting attached to your new date and then being hurt if things don’t work out.

Have Fun

Finally, and maybe most importantly, have fun when dating after divorce! You probably never expected to be back in the dating game. But now that you’re here, make the most of it. Enjoy the fun of getting to know new people. Figure out what you want out of a new partner and see if you can find a great match. While it can be scary, dating should still be enjoyable. Try to relax and not worry about where things are going. Take time to just enjoy the thrill of a new date.

Dating after divorce can seem so overwhelming. But it’s important to try and not rush into things or take them too seriously. You have plenty of time to find a new partner. Make sure that you’ve healed from your divorce before you even start thinking about dating again. And make sure that you’ve taken time to prioritize yourself for a little while. Try not to bad mouth your ex to your new dates as this can be a red flag. Take things slow with any new partners, especially if you have children. And finally, have fun and enjoy the experience. You have another chance to go on first dates and meet some amazing new people, try to find the silver lining, and enjoy it.

Preparing for Summer with Joint Custody

If you are preparing for summer with joint custody of your kids, you might need to re-examine your schedule. The school year and summer present different obstacles for splitting custody. If you work full time, arranging childcare can be difficult. In addition, if you or your ex have vacations planned, you may need to be flexible with your schedules. If you’re planning on sending them to summer camp, you’ll need to both be on the same page. Similarly, if you’re planning to hire a babysitter or nanny for the summer you’ll want to make sure that you both are comfortable. Finally, although summer doesn’t have a ton of holidays to work around, you should have a plan for the 4th of July and others. Hopefully, if you both are open-minded, you can come up with a summer schedule that works for everybody!

Preparing for Summer with Joint Custody of Your Kids

Planning Vacations

Summertime is when most families take vacations since the children are out of school. If you’re preparing for summer with joint custody, you’ll need to take into account your custody arrangement before planning vacations. If your schedule doesn’t give you enough time for a full vacation, talk to your ex about switching around days. They may also have a vacation they’d like to take and want to have you return the favor later for them. Staying flexible and understanding is the key to working out a plan that works for everybody.

Planning Camps

Summer with joint custody can be difficult for parents who both work full time. Without school in session, it’s hard to entertain children all day at home. Luckily, there are many summer camps available to help break up the time. You and your ex need to be on the same page with what camps you’d like to send your children to. Financially, you need to establish boundaries as well. Hopefully, you can come to an agreement in regards to who is paying for summer camp, which camp the kids are going to, and what the pickup/drop-off schedule will look like.

Summer Help

If you’re facing summer with joint custody, you may be looking into hiring help. A nanny or babysitter can be a huge benefit to working parents when the kids are home from school. Kids respond well to consistency, so talk to your ex about hiring the same nanny. You could even coordinate it so that the nanny is able to drive the kids to and from your respective houses on days when you switch custody. Just make sure that you are on the same page with who is paying for which days so that you don’t leave your summer help in the lurch. Also, make sure that both parties are comfortable with whoever you hire.

Holidays

Finally, you need to consider holidays when planning for summer with joint custody. While summer doesn’t have too many holidays to deal with, you’ll need to figure out the plan for Memorial Day, Fourth of July, and Labor Day. Some partners choose to switch off years for special holidays, but you can handle them however you’d like. Also, remember that Mother’s Day and Father’s Day take place in May and June. Try to be understanding if your ex wants the kids for their respective day because you’ll probably want them for your holiday too. It’s also a kind gesture to help the kids make something special for the holiday.

Summer with joint custody doesn’t have to be a huge headache if you just prepare in advance and try to be understanding. Being flexible with your partner often results in them being flexible when you want to change things. Especially if you’re wanting to re-arrange days based on vacations. Also, plan for summer camp or a summer nanny if you’re both working full time. Finally, don’t forget to make a plan for the summer holidays like the Fourth of July. Hopefully, with a little planning ahead and some understanding, you can have a great summer!

Prenups and Postnups: What’s the Difference?

If you are engaged and discussing financials, you might be wondering what the difference is between prenuptial and postnuptial agreements. Prenups and postnups both determine how a couple will divide their assets in the event of a divorce. The biggest difference is that prenups occur before marriage and postnups occur after a couple is married. A couple usually considers these types of agreements if one person is bringing a lot more wealth to the relationship and wants to protect those assets. Or if one is expecting to inherit large sums of money. Although both have their critics, many find that these types of agreements are the best way to protect your financial wealth.

Prenups and Postnups: What’s the Difference and Do You Need One?

What is a Prenup?

Prenups and postnups are very similar in concept, they just occur at different times. A prenuptial is an agreement between two prospective spouses that determines how their assets will be divided if they divorce. A lot of people feel that a prenup is anti-romantic. They think that it means a couple is already assuming they’ll divorce before they even get married. However, in the US, 50% of marriages end in divorce. Realistically, prenups are a wise choice to protect your financial security.

Who Needs a Prenup?

A couple might discuss prenups and postnups if one partner is bringing more money into the marriage than the other. Similarly, if one has a large estate or is going to inherit a lot of money, they may want one. A prenup prevents a couple from going through a long, drawn-out divorce if they decide to end their marriage. Prenups are especially common for people entering their second, third, or fourth marriages.

What is a Postnup?

Prenups and postnups are very similar, however, a postnup occurs after a couple marries. Other than timing, it’s basically the same as a prenuptial agreement. These have become more common in recent years. They are now legal in all 50 states. Like a prenup, a postnup decides how your assets will be divided in the case of your marriage ending. Similar to prenups, they don’t make any concessions regarding your children or future children.

Who Needs a Postnup?

Since prenups and postnups are so similar, you might be wondering why some opt for postnups. The main reason is simple convenience. Often, the planning stage of an engagement is so stressful and busy that a couple simply doesn’t have time to sit down and draw up a prenup. If this is the case, they’ll often decide to do a postnup instead. This is also an option for couples who feel that the conversation will be awkward and would rather wait until after they marry to have it. Like a prenup, postnups are encouraged if partners are bringing significantly different amounts of wealth into a marriage.

The bottom line is that prenups and postnups are very similar. The only difference between them is that prenuptial take place before marriage and postnuptials occur after the couple says “I do.” However, both of them are legal agreements that spell out what will happen to financial assets in the case of a divorce. If you decide that you and your partner should come to an agreement on either a prenup or postnup, you should consult an experienced attorney. They’ll help guide you through the process and make sure that you are protected financially in the case of your marriage dissolving. Hopefully, you’ll never need to go through the stress of a divorce, but if you do, having a prenup or postnup will make the process much easier.

Divorce Announcements: What To Know

Divorce is a pretty private and personal matter. However, there’ll come a time when you need to let others know that you’re getting a divorce. Making divorce announcements can be pretty tricky. Still, there are a few ways you can make these announcements easier…

Divorce Announcements: Doing It Right

Who to tell

Divorce announcements don’t need to be made to everyone you know. Instead, it can be better to focus on those who are the closest to you. These are the ones who may have the most shakeup from your divorce, aside from you, your spouse, and your kids. As such, it’s good to tell them before others.

Of course, you should tell your kids first. Be sure you do so together and in a way that your kids can understand. From there, you should then tell your close family. After that, it’s good to let your close friends know. As they will be a large part of your support network, the sooner you tell them, the sooner they can help you.

What to say

Aside from who you tell, you also have to consider what you say in these announcements. This will mainly depend on what kind of announcements you want to make. Plus, you should also think about what to say when other people ask you if you’re getting a divorce.

In-person announcements are good for when you want to have a serious and personal talk with those like your friends and family. Here, you can go into some more detail as to why you’re divorcing, and how you feel. For others who you don’t really want to talk to, you can simply give them a brief statement saying that while you are divorcing, you don’t want to talk about it and want your privacy respected.

Preparing for responses

You should consider too what people may say in response to your divorce announcements. For instance, your kids may have a very strong and emotional response. Meanwhile, while your friends and family may be shocked, they’ll also probably be supportive. Sometimes, though, you may get a reaction you don’t expect.

It’s possible that someone you considered to be close to you will respond poorly to your divorce. As such, they may start trying to lay blame for it on you. When this happens, it’s important that you don’t pay it any mind, as they don’t understand what’s really going on. Don’t try and get into an argument, and instead, just say you’re sorry they feel that way and end your conversation there.

Prepare Your Finances for Divorce

Divorce is an expensive endeavor. You need to prepare your finances for divorce before you’ve even started the process. Both you and your partner should have representation by an attorney that will be able to help you navigate the divorce. You’ll want to start tracking your spending before you even begin proceedings. Next, you’ll want to gather documentation for everything finance-related. And it’s always a good idea to wait to make big financial decisions until the divorce is finalized. Preparing ahead of time will hopefully help make your divorce less complicated and less drawn-out.

Prepare Your Finances for Divorce: Get Everything in Order

Find an Attorney

The first step to prepare your finances for divorce is to enlist the help of an experienced attorney. Every aspect of divorce is confusing and complicated. But the financials can be especially overwhelming. An attorney will help you navigate all the decisions, and might bring up things that you wouldn’t have even known to ask for. Hopefully, you’ll only go through the divorce process one time, so you’ll want somebody with tons of experiences on your side representing your best interests.

Track Your Budget

Before you even begin the process you should prepare your finances for divorce by tracking your budget and spending. You can start this before you’ve even told your partner you want a divorce. Keep a list of money coming in and money going out for several months so that you have a good sense of where every dime goes each month. You don’t need to change your spending habits, just track them. And remember to include things that seem like one-time expenses like car repairs or a broken refrigerator. Tracking your budget will give your attorney a great overview of your spending and will allow them to know how to best represent your interests. It will also help the judge determine how to split your assets.

Gather Documentation

The next step you want to take to prepare your finances for divorce is to gather evidence of your assets. You’ll want records of your bank accounts, mortgages, investments, and statements. If your divorce is not an amicable one, your partner may try to hide these documents from you. So it’s best to prepare as early as possible and gather all of this early in the proceedings. Know that banks and other institutions are allowed to tell your spouse that you’ve asked for the info if you share the accounts. You’ll give all of this to your attorney so they can get a clear picture of your financial history.

Wait to Make Financial Decisions

Finally, an important tip to remember when you want to prepare your finances for divorce is to wait to make big financial decisions until it’s over. This is because you won’t really know how your assets will be divided until the process has ended. Therefore, you might have more or less money to use on financial decisions than you thought. You’ll also want to wait to change any wills, beneficiary documents, and insurance policies until after the divorce is finalized.

The prospect of going through a divorce is daunting, but it is helpful to prepare your finances for divorce as soon as you can. Enlist the help of an attorney early on. They’ll be able to help you navigate the process. It’s a great idea to start tracking your budget before you’ve even approached the subject with your spouse. You’ll also want to gather any documentation of your finances. And finally, remember not to make big financial decisions or changes until after the divorce is over. That way, you’ll know how everything shakes out and will know where you stand financially. Hopefully, with these tips, you’ll be able to handle the financial aspects of divorce without being overwhelmed.

How-to: Know if You’re Ready to Date Again

Putting yourself out there to date again after a divorce can bring up many different emotions. You may feel overwhelmed and unsure where to start, nervous and skeptical, or even excited about the chance to start over. Some people may even get cold feet and decide they are not actually ready to look for a new partner again. If you are in this season of life, there is a lot to consider. Here are some things to think about to know if you’re ready to date again.

How-to Know if You’re Ready to Date Again: Dating After Divorce

Time

Has your divorce not even been finalized yet? Or did it just become official a week ago? If so, you should probably wait a little bit to get back until another relationship. You do not want to jump back into a new relationship just as a rebound. You just went through a major life change, filled with many charged emotions.

Even if you feel like you are ready to go, processing these types of things take time. While you may have been the one who instigated the divorce, you will still have to mourn the loss of that relationship and heal hurt wounds. Give yourself some time to go through this process, and focus on yourself before you’re ready to date again. Depending on how long you were married, you may not even have a clear picture of who you are as an individual at this time. Take some time to rediscover yourself.

Right Reasons

Be very thoughtful about the reasons why you think you’re ready to date again. Some people feel like they have to be in a relationship to be happy. Do not jump into something just because you do not want to be alone. Also, don’t start dating someone just because everyone else in your circle has a partner. Also, do not start dating someone just to please other people like your family. Take the time to truly make sure you have healed from your divorce and are ready to be open and vulnerable again.

Self-Reflection and Improvement

In the meantime, take this opportunity to reflect on your failed marriage and work towards becoming the best version of yourself that you can be. In an unhealthy marriage, there were likely negative traits and behaviors coming from both parties. Take time to figure out your weak points, and talk to a counselor or find ways to work through these issues. You do not want to bring bad habits into a new relationship.