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Keep Active During Divorce

The combination of COVID-19 and the emotional stress of divorce can make it hard to find motivation. As a result, you may end up seeing your health suffer as a result. Therefore, it’s good to find ways to keep active during divorce.  That way, you can stay healthy and motivated during these tougher times…

Keep Active During Divorce: What To Try

At-home workouts

These days, most places have had their gyms closed for months. Even if you live at a place which has them open, you may not feel so comfortable going back just yet. At the same time, you may not be sure as to what you can do exercise-wise without the usual gym equipment.

In reality, you don’t need a lot to do at-home workouts. Just some basic equipment will be enough to get you going. That’s what makes these workouts so good for when you want to keep active during divorce. Not only can you get some exercise in, but you can also more easily work it into your schedule.

Bike riding

Riding a bike can also be another good way to keep active during divorce. For starters, it helps get you out and about instead of being stuck inside the house. Plus, it adds a bit of variety aside from just walking or running.

The biggest thing to keep in mind when biking is safety. You should always wear safety gear like a helmet, no matter where you’re biking at. However, if you’re going to be biking on the roads, just make sure you know how to safely share the road with the drivers out there.

Yoga

Instead of something intensive, maybe you’re looking to a more-calming way to keep active during divorce. This is where yoga can come in handy. Yoga provides you with a way to keep active, especially at the house, without needing to do anything as intensive as other alternative workouts.

You don’t even need that much to get into yoga proper. A simple yoga mat and some open space is all you need to get started! As for what you can do, there’s plenty of guides and walk-through exercises online which can give you some direction and help you find your flow.

2-2-3 Schedule: Strike A Balance

One of the trickiest parts of co-parenting can be settling on a schedule. However, a popular model that many parents like to use is the 2-2-3 schedule. This plan could help you find a good balance that helps smooth out the rest of your co-parenting plans…

2-2-3 Schedule: How It Works

Basic breakdown

A 2-2-3 schedule is a pretty straightforward system. Basically, one parent will have the kids for 2 days in the week. Then, the other parent will have the kids for the next 2 days. Finally, the kids will go back to the first parent for the last 3 days of the week. With the start of the next week, the schedule will switch.

So with this schedule, you would have the kids on Monday and Tuesday. Then, your co-parent would have them on Wednesday and Thursday, before you get them back for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. This then makes it easy to have you switch days next week.

The pros

There’s a good number of pros which come with a 2-2-3 schedule. For starters, it allows for both parents to see the kids throughout the week. It also does a good job in keeping that time you spend with them equal. Plus, it isn’t all that difficult to put it into practice, which makes it easy to get going.

Due to these factors, it’s a good schedule for reducing potential conflict. You won’t have to worry about arguing with your spouse over getting an even amount of time spend with the kids. Your kids will also not have to go very long without seeing their other parent, which can be especially good in those early stages after the divorce.

Potentials cons

Still, there are some things you should keep in mind about a 2-2-3 schedule. Mainly, it will require a good amount of coordination. You and your co-parent will have to make time for picking up or dropping off the kids, which can be hard if you’re already dealing with communication issues.

It could also be the case that the constant changes end up putting more stress on the kids then you initially realize. Instead, it could be better for them to spend more time at one house and get into a routine. Like with all co-parenting schedules, you’ll want to be flexible and make any changes as needed!

Divorced Parents

Trying to grapple with being divorced and being a parent can be pretty hard. That’s why many divorced parents tend to run into the same problems and make very similar mistakes. However, knowing what these mistakes are can help you better see how you can best avoid them…

Divorced Parents: What To Avoid Doing

Using the kids as messengers

Many divorced parents struggle with talking to one another after splitting up. Depending on what either caused the divorce or how it went, it can be tough to talk effectively. As a result, they may instead try and have their kids talk for them. Usually, this means having them be a messenger as they go between households.

By doing this, though, you’re effectively placing them right in the middle of your personal problems with each other. While you may not see your ex in a good light anymore, your kids still just see you both as their parents. Putting them in this role can make them feel bad and strain your relationship with them, which is why you want to avoid it entirely.

 Initiating constant fights

Something else divorced parents should avoid is always looking for a way to pick fights. Now, you and your ex are not going to agree on everything. This is why you’ll want to make a good co-parenting plan with some flexibility in it. Being too rigid or combative will just really hurt your kids in the long run.

For example, if your kids are doing things when they’re with their ex that maybe you wouldn’t do, don’t rush to fight them about it. Instead, take a moment and think about if it’s really a big issue. If not, then it doesn’t make sense to pick a fight about something which isn’t hurting your kids.

Thinking the kids can’t tell what’s going on

Divorced parents tend to believe that their kids can’t detect the tension between them. While you may both not like being around each other anymore, you’ll try and pretend for the sake of your kids. The thing is, your kids can definitely tell and see what’s going on.

Therefore, you need to actually try and come to a real peace and understanding with one another. Constantly being tense is just going to make your kids anxious and on-edge when you’re around each other. As long as you try your best and keep things cool, then your kids will feel a lot more relaxed.

Quarantine Life Post-Divorce: Refocusing & Adjusting

The ongoing COVID-19 situation has caused a lot of people to make changes to their lives. When coming fresh off of a divorce, you’re facing a new and confusing time. Quarantine life post-divorce will take some getting used to. However, there are ways to make the process easier…

Quarantine Life Post-Divorce: How To Adjust

Try to re-focus

When starting your quarantine life post-divorce, there’s going to be a whole lot of things running through your head. Usually, you’d have to consider all the new changes you’d need to make, which is taxing enough. Now, you have to think about how the quarantine may impact them, making it a whole lot more confusing.

Therefore, don’t get too caught up in all these thoughts. Instead, take a moment and re-focus yourself. Sit down and write out a list of all the things that you need to change or plan for because of the divorce. This makes it a lot easier to go one-by-one and see how the situation may influence them.

Consider work options

For many people, financial concerns are at the top of their quarantine life post-divorce worries. It’s already hard to go from a dual-income household to a single-income one. Or, it could be that your former spouse brought in more of the income while you stayed at home. Grappling with these changes in the middle of the quarantine can feel impossible.

However, it’s certainly possible to find work still. While it’ll be more competitive, you just need to make sure your skills and talents set you apart from the rest. Consider your options thoroughly, especially based on your new budget, and you can find a market which you fit into.

Prioritize safety

If you’re a parent, then your kids are another area of concern for your quarantine life post-divorce. On the one hand, you and your ex probably have some kind of co-parenting plan set up. Yet, the quarantine situation could make that plan a bit harder to pull off.

In this case, you should both prioritize the kids’ safety above all else. This could mean making some changes to your co-parenting plan, such as when you change who is watching them or how you communicate. While it can be tough, it’s ultimately best to make sure they stay healthy.

Post-Divorce Job Interview

A divorce might mean you need to get back into the job-hunting game. However, what if you’ve landed an interview? Prepping for a post-divorce job interview can be a bit stressful. Still, there are some key things that you’ll want to focus on…

Post-Divorce Job Interview: Get Prepped

Do some research

It’s a good idea to do some research on the company before your post-divorce job interview. Now, you don’t need to dig into every single detail. But, it’s a good idea to have some basic info about the company’s background, clients, and services. Many companies will have this all accessible on their websites or social media.

Take another look at the job description for the role you applied to as well. There may be some things which you aren’t too familiar with compared to the rest. Doing some research on these skills or tasks can help you get familiar with them and see how your previous experiences can tie into them.

 Practice, practice, practice

You’ll want to practice as you can for your post-divorce job interview. Going into the interview blind can make you feel anxious and not leave a good impression. By comparison, doing some practice can help calm your nerves and get you prepared for the interviewer’s questions.

Some common questions tend to be about how much you know about the company, why you want to work there, your work style, strengths and weaknesses, and future career goals. Therefore, it helps to plan out general responses for these types of questions. When you know they’re coming, you can format answers and fit them into whatever the interviewer is asking.

Keep it natural

Remember that in a post-divorce job interview, it’s not just about the questions. The interviewer is also looking at how you respond. If you seem very nervous, anxious, and overall uncertain, then it may not matter how good your answers are.

That’s why you should try and treat your interview like a normal conversation. Take a moment to process the questions, and answer calm and thoughtfully. Keep your cool and stay focused, even if the interviewer tries to challenge you a bit. Remember: if you can keep composed here, then you’re showing them you can do the same on the job.

Working During Quarantine

Many people tend to find themselves struggling a bit financially after divorce. Now, with the COVID-19 pandemic, they may either be out of work, or worrying about going into shifts. Working during quarantine requires a bit of adjustment compared to normal working. Still, it’s possible to improve your chances at finding something which suites your needs…

 Working During Quarantine: Stay Afloat Post-Divorce

Consider your options

When considering working during quarantine, it helps to first consider what options are available to you. For instance, many places are looking for essential workers to keep their staff full and rotated during the pandemic. Usually, these jobs will have you out in public around others. However, many of these jobs also offer full protective equipment and sanitation supplies to employees.

At the same time, you can also see if you qualify for financial assistance. Aside from the relief checks which have been sent out, there’s also unemployment benefits. These can be handy especially if you have just lost your job due to the crisis. That way, you have some form of income coming in while you continue to job hunt.

Highlight your skills

Something else which can help when working during quarantine is drawing attention to your key skills and experience. Many places are going to want to make sure they hire people who truly bring something new to their teams. That means the application process can be a bit more competitive than it usually is.

Therefore, you want to make sure you stand out among the rest. Draw attention to any relevant skills or experience you have. It helps to also tailor your resume to each job you apply for, so you can put your best foot forwards. Remember, places which are hiring will have a lot of applicants, so you need to give yourself every advantage you can!

Be careful about applying

While there’s plenty of places which are helping those working during quarantine, there are also some which aren’t what they appear to be. Unfortunately, some people are trying to take advantage of the situation by scamming people. They may do this by setting up fake job board sites or posts, in an effort to skim people’s personal info.

To avoid being scammed yourself, make sure you’re careful about where you look for work. Try to stick to using legit, established boards versus seemingly shady ones. Also, do some background searching on the company you’re applying to. The reviews and other search results can help you determine if they’re legit or not.

Post-Divorce Home: What To Do?

When your divorce is over, you might find yourself in possession of the marital home. However, the post-divorce home can feel a little different then how it used to. Therefore, you might want to consider some the different things you can do with it…

Post-Divorce Home: Potential Options

Do some renovations

If you’re interested in keeping the post-divorce home, then you’ll probably want to change things up. After all, keeping it the same can bring back some bad memories from your marriage. By adding your own style and flair, you can make the place feel more like it’s truly “yours.”

This can be a great time to do some renovations you’ve had in mind for a while. Now, you won’t have to worry about your old partner not liking what you suggest. You can make any of the changes you’d like. Still, if you’re looking to save a bit of money, doing some simple redecorating can create a similar effect.

Rent it out

Another option for your post-divorce home is to rent it out. This can be an appealing option if you have somewhere else to live, and want to potentially make some extra money. Of course, this does come with its own set of responsibilities. Being a landlord means you’ll have to worry about a few more things than if you were just living there.

For instance, you’ll have to make sure your insurance covers renting, and that you have any necessary permits. You’ll also be in charge of making any repairs and upgrades to the house. Not to mention you have to make sure you find a reliable tenant and charge a fair rate!

Sell it

There is always the option of selling your post-divorce home. If you want to move someplace new, then selling your home will help you with covering the costs. That being said, you want to make sure you do things the right way and get the most money you can.

This may mean doing some renovations and upgrades, as these can help boost your home’s value. Be sure you also consult a good real estate agent as well. They’ll not only help with advertising the home and showing it to potential buyers, but they can also make sure your house is up-to-code so you don’t run into any delays.

Virtual Parenting: Keep In Touch

While the coronavirus is making things harder for those who live together, it’s also impacting co-parents as well. Concerns about the virus might mean your usual visitation plan will no longer work. That’s why you’ll want to do some virtual parenting. Doing so will allow you to still keep in touch with your kids…

Virtual Parenting: Keep In Touch

Make use of technology

Doing any kind of virtual parenting is going to require you using technology. Still, there’s a lot of different options out there you can use. It’s important you find which ones will work best for both you and your kids.

For example, calling and texting are easy and probably something you can do at all times. But, it might also be good to use some kind of video chat of Facetime on top of that. This will let you get in some face-to-face time, even if you can’t be there in person.

Set aside some time

It’s also handy to set aside some dedicated time for virtual parenting. You can send you kids texts through the day, but you or they may also get busy. This will limit how much you can talk, and make your text conversations very brief and somewhat impersonal.

Having some dedicated time can get around this issue. Being able to talk one-on-one is much more personal, and helps to show your kids you care for them. Still, spontaneous calls or texts are also good for showing your kids you’re still thinking of them, even when you’re doing other things.

Keep up with their Lives

Even while doing some virtual parenting, you can still keep up with your kids lives. For instance, you can ask them how classes are going, especially with how many have gone online. You can also ask them about what they’re doing to pass the time while they’re at home.

Also, try to find things to you can both do together even while you’re apart. Maybe you can find some kind of game which you can both play online. Or, you could also look for movies which you can stream and share. While it may not be the same as in person, it’s certainly better than nothing!

Online Dating Pics: Set Up For Success

If you’re thinking about dating again after your divorce, online sites might be appealing to you. However, it’s important you set your profile up right by using good online dating pics. Choosing the right pictures can help you make that good first impression you’re aiming for..

Online Dating Pics: Set Up For Success

Don’t Lead with group pics

When picking out your online dating pics, it’s okay to use a few group photos. But, you don’t want to use one of them as your main profile pic. Doing so could cause some potential issues to arise.

By using a group picture, it makes it harder for people you match with to figure out which one you are. If they can’t tell right away, then they could decide not to send you a message. They could also mistake someone else for you! If you do use some group photos, try to have them in your gallery instead.

Present your personality

Online dating pics are very handy for showing off your personality. Odds are you will want to match with people who have a similar personality and interests. That’s why good pics choices are important. Choosing the right ones can clearly show others what kind of person you are.

For example, if you like sports, then you can use photos of you playing them or at sporting events. If you like traveling, then it can be good to have a picture of your latest trips. Using pictures like these can help you better find people you do share interests with, and avoid those you don’t.

Avoid pics of past relationships

Any online dating pics you chose should avoid being from past relationships. Using pictures that have your ex in them, or clearly show them cropped out, can make it hard to draw in matches. That’s why you’ll want to skip these photos.

Also, using these pictures will make it harder for you to move on. Seeing these photos every time you access your profile can bring up some negative feelings. If those feelings are constant, then it may be good to wait until you resolve them before you start dating.

Quarantine Living: Making It Easier

The ongoing coronavirus pandemic has caused many couples to remain indoors. However, if things were already tense beforehand, or if you were thinking about divorcing, then quarantine living can be pretty hard. As a result, you’ll want to find ways to make things easier…

Quarantine Living: Making It Easier

Keep some structure

One way to make quarantine living more manageable is by making some structure. The change to staying at home has probably thrown your old schedule all out of sorts. If you have kids, then they’re probably going to be at home with you too. Therefore, you may not be sure as to what exactly it is you should be doing.

That’s why it can be handy to create your own schedule and structure. Set a constant alarm, and go through your normal morning routine as usual. Then, set aside time for work, to eat, to exercise, etc. Doing something similar for the kids can help everyone avoid the feeling of going stir-crazy.

Have your own space

Having your own space is also handy for quarantine living. The last thing you want is for everyone to feel like they’re on top of each other. While you may all be stuck at home, you still need to have some privacy. To get that privacy, it’s helpful to set aside some space for yourself.

For instance, it might be useful for you and your partner to have you own separate “work” areas. You kids might also benefit from having their own space to do school work in. Everyone having their own little areas will help create that feeling of personal space.

Work on communication

Quarantine living is a great time for you and your partner to work on you communication skills. Issues with communication are some of the most common reasons as to why couples fight. With how much time you’ll be spending at home, you’re going to want to avoid big explosive fights as best as you can.

A great way to do this is by being able to properly communicate. When issues arise, be sure you and your partner talk to each other about it. Keep things calm, civil, and let the both of you present your sides or thoughts. This will help you come to agreements and avoid those big blowups.