Category: post-divorce

Dating After Divorce: First Steps

Dating is never easy, but dating after divorce can feel daunting. It presents its own set of challenges. Perhaps it’s been a long time since you were even looking for someone to date. Use these tips to make this overwhelming experience feel a little bit easier.

Dating After Divorce: Where to Start

Self-Reflect

Before you even start thinking about dating after divorce, do a good hard look at your past. Unfortunately, it can be tough to dig deep like this. However, taking this step can help you to make sure you are not making the same mistakes over and over again. What went wrong in your marriage? What qualities did you like about your ex? Also, what qualities did you dislike? Think about traits they had that brought out both the best and the worst in you. Make a list of what you want in a partner, and what traits you want to avoid. 

Drop the Anger

Sure, you may still be really hurt about what happened in the past. There’s no denying that. But if you want to start dating after divorce, you have to work towards forgiving your ex. Carrying around anger towards your ex is like carrying around a heavy weight. Also, you could bring that anger and stress into your new relationship. Don’t feel ashamed to talk to someone or get help if you need help through the healing process. Letting go of the extra weight to find a new found freedom that will have you feeling ready and open to letting someone else in. 

Complaining about your ex is not what your new date wants to hear, especially on the first few dates. Keep conversations to what is important to you, and listen to your new date. Remember, they want to know you and not your ex. 

Expand Your Options

Perhaps you think you have a type. Maybe your ‘type’ has characteristics that did not work in the first place. Don’t limit yourself to only wanting to date one type of person. You should try going out with some people who don’t fit the mold of who you usually look for. You could be looking past some real gems! 

That being said, go with your gut. If you’re dating after divorce, don’t waste your time with someone you have a bad feeling about. Certainly, if you see red flags, get out. Do not stick around with someone who does not feel right. 

Online Dating

If you don’t know where to start, give online dating a try. Maybe online dating was not a thing the last time you were looking to date? That’s okay, give it a try. It is becoming one of the top ways to meet people now. When you are looking to start dating after divorce, online dating can help you ease back into the dating game by allowing you to get comfortable with just talking to people in messages. A tip is to have someone or several people you trust help you build, or approve, your profile. That way you make sure you’re set up for success.

There are many online dating sites out there now. There are even ones for different interests, religious affiliations, and age ranges. Read reviews and breakdowns to know which of the dating websites may be the best fit for you. 

In short, getting back into dating after divorce may feel overwhelming. Just take one step at a time. These steps will help you make your first steps towards finding a new relationship!

Sell or Keep the Family Home: Post-Divorce

After a divorce, it can be difficult to decide if you should sell or keep the family home. There are plenty of factors that play into this. Everyone’s situation will be different…

Sell or Keep the Family Home: Factors to Consider

Finances

Your financial situation will play a big role in deciding if you should sell or keep the family home after a divorce. Based on your situation, you may have the option to sell the home and split the profit. Another option may be to buy out your spouse to keep the house. You will need to determine which is a better option for you financially.

You may have to speak with a financial advisor or an accountant to see which option is going to be the best financially. Keep in mind there are a lot of financial responsibilities that come with owning a house. You don’t want to start a new chapter of your life with expenses and debt you can’t handle. 

Eligibility for a Mortgage 

Additionally, while deciding if you should sell or keep the family home, you should check to see if you could qualify for a mortgage, if needed. In some cases, one spouse may not be approved to carry a mortgage on their own. This is especially true if they were a non-income earning spouse. You certainly don’t want to make a decision based on thinking you could easily buy another house without making sure you are eligible for a mortgage.

Children

If you have children, especially ones in school, they could be a factor in deciding if you should sell or keep the family home. It can be difficult to uproot children and move them to a different school. Therefore, this may play a role in you deciding to keep you in your current home. Research the schools in the new area you may be considering so that you can make an informed decision. 

A New Start

Sometimes, you may just need a brand new start. A home can hold a lot of memories and emotions. Selling a home can give you the opportunity for a new start. Whether that move is locally, or long-distance, moving into a completely new home may be a deciding factor in whether or not to sell or keep the family home. 

Divorce comes with many difficult decisions to make. Deciding if you should keep or sell the family home could be one of them. Take your time, do your research, and think it through so that you make sure you’re making the right decision.

Home Business Post-Divorce: Making Moves

Many people struggle with going back to work after their divorce. For some, they’d rather try and do things their way with a home business post-divorce. While it can be tricky, it can also open up a new, and potentially lucrative, chapter in your life…

Home Business Post-Divorce: How To Prep

Find your niche

When starting a home business post-divorce, you first need to find your niche. The appeal of a home-based business is that it lets you appeal to markets which other major brands may look over. Where they may not see a profit, you could potentially have many loyal customers who are willing to pay for what you have to offer.

However, you need to make sure it’s something which you can properly apply your skills to. You don’t want to invest all your money into something you have no prior knowledge about! Take things slowly, do your research, and find an area you think you can tap into. That way, you avoid potentially getting stuck in an over-saturated or nonexistent market.

Take your time

It’s important to not rush into creating your home business post-divorce. Trying to simply rush and get things going will more than likely set your venture up for failure. It may take some time and require you to do some traditional work in the meantime as you save funds and get things off the ground.

The two major things you want to have are a good workspace at home and enough funds to get up and running. A good home workspace will encourage you to view your work as serious, even when at the house. Additionally, having plenty of funds will ensure you can cover your costs, especially in the early months when you’re trying to get sales going.

Don’t forget to take breaks

It can be exciting and stressful to set up a home business post-divorce. Still, you have to remember to not push yourself too hard. After all, you’re still recovering from all the stress and changes that came with your divorce.

That’s why you’ll want to make sure you take time to relax. Your mental and physically health should always take priority. It’s okay if it takes longer than expected to get your business running. Starting later but much more prepared is better than rushing and only scraping by!

Quarantine Life Post-Divorce: Refocusing & Adjusting

The ongoing COVID-19 situation has caused a lot of people to make changes to their lives. When coming fresh off of a divorce, you’re facing a new and confusing time. Quarantine life post-divorce will take some getting used to. However, there are ways to make the process easier…

Quarantine Life Post-Divorce: How To Adjust

Try to re-focus

When starting your quarantine life post-divorce, there’s going to be a whole lot of things running through your head. Usually, you’d have to consider all the new changes you’d need to make, which is taxing enough. Now, you have to think about how the quarantine may impact them, making it a whole lot more confusing.

Therefore, don’t get too caught up in all these thoughts. Instead, take a moment and re-focus yourself. Sit down and write out a list of all the things that you need to change or plan for because of the divorce. This makes it a lot easier to go one-by-one and see how the situation may influence them.

Consider work options

For many people, financial concerns are at the top of their quarantine life post-divorce worries. It’s already hard to go from a dual-income household to a single-income one. Or, it could be that your former spouse brought in more of the income while you stayed at home. Grappling with these changes in the middle of the quarantine can feel impossible.

However, it’s certainly possible to find work still. While it’ll be more competitive, you just need to make sure your skills and talents set you apart from the rest. Consider your options thoroughly, especially based on your new budget, and you can find a market which you fit into.

Prioritize safety

If you’re a parent, then your kids are another area of concern for your quarantine life post-divorce. On the one hand, you and your ex probably have some kind of co-parenting plan set up. Yet, the quarantine situation could make that plan a bit harder to pull off.

In this case, you should both prioritize the kids’ safety above all else. This could mean making some changes to your co-parenting plan, such as when you change who is watching them or how you communicate. While it can be tough, it’s ultimately best to make sure they stay healthy.

Divorce Immune System

Divorce usually brings a lot of stress along with it. This stress can end up having a negative impact on your health, and your body’s ability to fight off sickness. With the COVID-19 pandemic currently going on, it’s especially important to boost your divorce immune system. Taking a few extra steps can help keep your body healthy…

Divorce Immune System: Keep Healthy

Change your lifestyle

Making some lifestyle changes is a great way to improve your divorce immune system. Doing some exercising, for instance, can help get rid of harmful bacteria from the lungs. It’s also great for promoting white blood cell and antibody production.

Eating healthier foods is also good for our body’s immune system. So can getting 7-8 hours of good sleep each night. Plus, not only will it help keep you healthy, but these steps will also help you feel a lot less stressed.

Have a healthy space

The environment you’re in is also important for your divorce immune system. It might seem odd to think that doing some redecorating can help keep you healthy. However, it’s all about reducing that stress. If you can make your home feel welcoming and inviting, it’ll mean you’ll be less stressed overall.

You may not have the money for a massive remodeling effort, but that’s okay! Even making some minor layout or color changes can go a long way. Having a nice, organized home can help you feel calm and centered, rather than anxious or worried. This means your body gets to focus more on making sure you stay healthy.

Take extra precautions

With everything that’s going on related to COVID-19, it’s now more important than ever to take extra precautions. Constantly exposing yourself to potential infection is not something you’ll want to do, even if you have a strong divorce immune system. Therefore, be sure you do all you can to keep yourself protected.

In general, it’s best to limit how much you need to go out. When you do need to head outside, try to wear a face mask and practice good social distancing as best as you can. Make sure you frequently wash your hands or use hand sanitizer, both while you’re out and once you get back home.

Post-Divorce Job Interview

A divorce might mean you need to get back into the job-hunting game. However, what if you’ve landed an interview? Prepping for a post-divorce job interview can be a bit stressful. Still, there are some key things that you’ll want to focus on…

Post-Divorce Job Interview: Get Prepped

Do some research

It’s a good idea to do some research on the company before your post-divorce job interview. Now, you don’t need to dig into every single detail. But, it’s a good idea to have some basic info about the company’s background, clients, and services. Many companies will have this all accessible on their websites or social media.

Take another look at the job description for the role you applied to as well. There may be some things which you aren’t too familiar with compared to the rest. Doing some research on these skills or tasks can help you get familiar with them and see how your previous experiences can tie into them.

 Practice, practice, practice

You’ll want to practice as you can for your post-divorce job interview. Going into the interview blind can make you feel anxious and not leave a good impression. By comparison, doing some practice can help calm your nerves and get you prepared for the interviewer’s questions.

Some common questions tend to be about how much you know about the company, why you want to work there, your work style, strengths and weaknesses, and future career goals. Therefore, it helps to plan out general responses for these types of questions. When you know they’re coming, you can format answers and fit them into whatever the interviewer is asking.

Keep it natural

Remember that in a post-divorce job interview, it’s not just about the questions. The interviewer is also looking at how you respond. If you seem very nervous, anxious, and overall uncertain, then it may not matter how good your answers are.

That’s why you should try and treat your interview like a normal conversation. Take a moment to process the questions, and answer calm and thoughtfully. Keep your cool and stay focused, even if the interviewer tries to challenge you a bit. Remember: if you can keep composed here, then you’re showing them you can do the same on the job.

Post-Divorce Debt: Management Methods

Divorce can sometimes be costly, and as such it helps to prepare a bit financially. Still, even with a good plan, you might find yourself with some post-divorce debt. This debt is definitely something you’ll want to get under control. There’s a few things you can do to help get it down to a manageable level…

Post-Divorce Debt: Financial Impact of Divorce

Re-evaluate your budget

Your post-divorce debt is probably going to require you to take a new look at your budget. As you go away from a double-income household to a single-income one, your past budget may not work as well as it used to. Plus, you’ll probably have some additional expenses to manage. Among these will be your debt.

Therefore, take the time and plan out a potential new budget. Consider your necessary expenses, and how much income you make. This can help you see if you can cut spending in one area to help with debt payments, or if you may need to consider looking for a better-paying job.

Set up payment plans

Another helpful way to handle post-divorce debt is by having payment plans. Not paying your debt at all can quickly add up as extra interest is accumulated. Now, some places may give forgiveness for one or two months missed. Still, if it becomes a habit, then your debt will continue to mount and things like your credit will suffer.

Instead, you can see about setting up a payment plan. Usually, these will let you set up automatic payments for debt payments every month. You may also be able to set up adjusted payments. This can see you making smaller, more manageable monthly payments, but making more of them over a longer period of time.

Consider all your strategies

Of course, the best thing to do with post-divorce debt is to pay it off. However, it’s entirely possible that you just don’t have the extra money to do so. Rather than just let those bills pile up, you should take the time to consider all of your potential options.

For example, if you have good credit, you may want to think about debt consolidation. This puts all your debt together and can lower your interest rate. You might also want to consider debt management, settlement, and in extreme cases, bankruptcy. Just note that these can have a negative impact on your credit in exchange for helping you control or remove your debt.

Working During Quarantine

Many people tend to find themselves struggling a bit financially after divorce. Now, with the COVID-19 pandemic, they may either be out of work, or worrying about going into shifts. Working during quarantine requires a bit of adjustment compared to normal working. Still, it’s possible to improve your chances at finding something which suites your needs…

 Working During Quarantine: Stay Afloat Post-Divorce

Consider your options

When considering working during quarantine, it helps to first consider what options are available to you. For instance, many places are looking for essential workers to keep their staff full and rotated during the pandemic. Usually, these jobs will have you out in public around others. However, many of these jobs also offer full protective equipment and sanitation supplies to employees.

At the same time, you can also see if you qualify for financial assistance. Aside from the relief checks which have been sent out, there’s also unemployment benefits. These can be handy especially if you have just lost your job due to the crisis. That way, you have some form of income coming in while you continue to job hunt.

Highlight your skills

Something else which can help when working during quarantine is drawing attention to your key skills and experience. Many places are going to want to make sure they hire people who truly bring something new to their teams. That means the application process can be a bit more competitive than it usually is.

Therefore, you want to make sure you stand out among the rest. Draw attention to any relevant skills or experience you have. It helps to also tailor your resume to each job you apply for, so you can put your best foot forwards. Remember, places which are hiring will have a lot of applicants, so you need to give yourself every advantage you can!

Be careful about applying

While there’s plenty of places which are helping those working during quarantine, there are also some which aren’t what they appear to be. Unfortunately, some people are trying to take advantage of the situation by scamming people. They may do this by setting up fake job board sites or posts, in an effort to skim people’s personal info.

To avoid being scammed yourself, make sure you’re careful about where you look for work. Try to stick to using legit, established boards versus seemingly shady ones. Also, do some background searching on the company you’re applying to. The reviews and other search results can help you determine if they’re legit or not.

Post-Divorce Home: What To Do?

When your divorce is over, you might find yourself in possession of the marital home. However, the post-divorce home can feel a little different then how it used to. Therefore, you might want to consider some the different things you can do with it…

Post-Divorce Home: Potential Options

Do some renovations

If you’re interested in keeping the post-divorce home, then you’ll probably want to change things up. After all, keeping it the same can bring back some bad memories from your marriage. By adding your own style and flair, you can make the place feel more like it’s truly “yours.”

This can be a great time to do some renovations you’ve had in mind for a while. Now, you won’t have to worry about your old partner not liking what you suggest. You can make any of the changes you’d like. Still, if you’re looking to save a bit of money, doing some simple redecorating can create a similar effect.

Rent it out

Another option for your post-divorce home is to rent it out. This can be an appealing option if you have somewhere else to live, and want to potentially make some extra money. Of course, this does come with its own set of responsibilities. Being a landlord means you’ll have to worry about a few more things than if you were just living there.

For instance, you’ll have to make sure your insurance covers renting, and that you have any necessary permits. You’ll also be in charge of making any repairs and upgrades to the house. Not to mention you have to make sure you find a reliable tenant and charge a fair rate!

Sell it

There is always the option of selling your post-divorce home. If you want to move someplace new, then selling your home will help you with covering the costs. That being said, you want to make sure you do things the right way and get the most money you can.

This may mean doing some renovations and upgrades, as these can help boost your home’s value. Be sure you also consult a good real estate agent as well. They’ll not only help with advertising the home and showing it to potential buyers, but they can also make sure your house is up-to-code so you don’t run into any delays.

Virtual Parenting: Keep In Touch

While the coronavirus is making things harder for those who live together, it’s also impacting co-parents as well. Concerns about the virus might mean your usual visitation plan will no longer work. That’s why you’ll want to do some virtual parenting. Doing so will allow you to still keep in touch with your kids…

Virtual Parenting: Keep In Touch

Make use of technology

Doing any kind of virtual parenting is going to require you using technology. Still, there’s a lot of different options out there you can use. It’s important you find which ones will work best for both you and your kids.

For example, calling and texting are easy and probably something you can do at all times. But, it might also be good to use some kind of video chat of Facetime on top of that. This will let you get in some face-to-face time, even if you can’t be there in person.

Set aside some time

It’s also handy to set aside some dedicated time for virtual parenting. You can send you kids texts through the day, but you or they may also get busy. This will limit how much you can talk, and make your text conversations very brief and somewhat impersonal.

Having some dedicated time can get around this issue. Being able to talk one-on-one is much more personal, and helps to show your kids you care for them. Still, spontaneous calls or texts are also good for showing your kids you’re still thinking of them, even when you’re doing other things.

Keep up with their Lives

Even while doing some virtual parenting, you can still keep up with your kids lives. For instance, you can ask them how classes are going, especially with how many have gone online. You can also ask them about what they’re doing to pass the time while they’re at home.

Also, try to find things to you can both do together even while you’re apart. Maybe you can find some kind of game which you can both play online. Or, you could also look for movies which you can stream and share. While it may not be the same as in person, it’s certainly better than nothing!