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Author: Robert Reeves

Working During Quarantine

Many people tend to find themselves struggling a bit financially after divorce. Now, with the COVID-19 pandemic, they may either be out of work, or worrying about going into shifts. Working during quarantine requires a bit of adjustment compared to normal working. Still, it’s possible to improve your chances at finding something which suites your needs…

 Working During Quarantine: Stay Afloat Post-Divorce

Consider your options

When considering working during quarantine, it helps to first consider what options are available to you. For instance, many places are looking for essential workers to keep their staff full and rotated during the pandemic. Usually, these jobs will have you out in public around others. However, many of these jobs also offer full protective equipment and sanitation supplies to employees.

At the same time, you can also see if you qualify for financial assistance. Aside from the relief checks which have been sent out, there’s also unemployment benefits. These can be handy especially if you have just lost your job due to the crisis. That way, you have some form of income coming in while you continue to job hunt.

Highlight your skills

Something else which can help when working during quarantine is drawing attention to your key skills and experience. Many places are going to want to make sure they hire people who truly bring something new to their teams. That means the application process can be a bit more competitive than it usually is.

Therefore, you want to make sure you stand out among the rest. Draw attention to any relevant skills or experience you have. It helps to also tailor your resume to each job you apply for, so you can put your best foot forwards. Remember, places which are hiring will have a lot of applicants, so you need to give yourself every advantage you can!

Be careful about applying

While there’s plenty of places which are helping those working during quarantine, there are also some which aren’t what they appear to be. Unfortunately, some people are trying to take advantage of the situation by scamming people. They may do this by setting up fake job board sites or posts, in an effort to skim people’s personal info.

To avoid being scammed yourself, make sure you’re careful about where you look for work. Try to stick to using legit, established boards versus seemingly shady ones. Also, do some background searching on the company you’re applying to. The reviews and other search results can help you determine if they’re legit or not.

Post-Divorce Home: What To Do?

When your divorce is over, you might find yourself in possession of the marital home. However, the post-divorce home can feel a little different then how it used to. Therefore, you might want to consider some the different things you can do with it…

Post-Divorce Home: Potential Options

Do some renovations

If you’re interested in keeping the post-divorce home, then you’ll probably want to change things up. After all, keeping it the same can bring back some bad memories from your marriage. By adding your own style and flair, you can make the place feel more like it’s truly “yours.”

This can be a great time to do some renovations you’ve had in mind for a while. Now, you won’t have to worry about your old partner not liking what you suggest. You can make any of the changes you’d like. Still, if you’re looking to save a bit of money, doing some simple redecorating can create a similar effect.

Rent it out

Another option for your post-divorce home is to rent it out. This can be an appealing option if you have somewhere else to live, and want to potentially make some extra money. Of course, this does come with its own set of responsibilities. Being a landlord means you’ll have to worry about a few more things than if you were just living there.

For instance, you’ll have to make sure your insurance covers renting, and that you have any necessary permits. You’ll also be in charge of making any repairs and upgrades to the house. Not to mention you have to make sure you find a reliable tenant and charge a fair rate!

Sell it

There is always the option of selling your post-divorce home. If you want to move someplace new, then selling your home will help you with covering the costs. That being said, you want to make sure you do things the right way and get the most money you can.

This may mean doing some renovations and upgrades, as these can help boost your home’s value. Be sure you also consult a good real estate agent as well. They’ll not only help with advertising the home and showing it to potential buyers, but they can also make sure your house is up-to-code so you don’t run into any delays.

Divorce Length: Contributing Factors

One of the most-common questions about divorce is about how long it’ll take. The thing is, divorce length can be impacted by a number of factors. However, these particular factors tend to be why your divorce may be longer or shorter than you anticipated…

Divorce Length: Key Aspects

State factors

Certain aspects relating to the state you live in can impact your divorce length. Every state has different laws about divorce. Some may require you to be separated for a period of time before you can divorce. Others may need you to be a resident for a certain amount of time. Ultimately, it all depends on what kind of laws a state does or doesn’t have.

There also things like how busy the courts are with previous divorces. Recently, due to the COVID-19 pandemic, many states have closed or limited access to their courthouses. Many couple who might have planned to divorce, or were in the process of doing so, are experiencing delays because of this.

Conflict

Levels of conflict will also have an effect on your divorce length. For instance, if you and your ex constantly argue with one another, then that’s going to draw out the divorce process. Not only that, but it’ll also potentially drive up your costs as you spend more time fighting and less time moving things forwards.

Yet, if you can work together with your ex, your divorce can not take as long. Plus, coming to agreements together will leave you with results that you’re both happy with. Approaching those more-sensitive areas like co-parenting plans and asset-splitting in a neutral manner can cut down on any potential conflict.

Emotions

Your emotions can impact both the divorce length itself, and how long it takes you to move on. Feeling really upset about the divorce can drain your motivation and make it hard to take care of divorce matters. At the same time, being angry at your ex can lead to more conflict, which will certainly increase how long the divorce takes.

Even when the divorce is over, you may have trouble shaking those feelings and starting your new life. Therefore, it can be good to look for ways to help you process these feelings. Meeting with a therapist or using other healthy outlets can help you process these feelings and not let them stall your divorce.

Virtual Parenting: Keep In Touch

While the coronavirus is making things harder for those who live together, it’s also impacting co-parents as well. Concerns about the virus might mean your usual visitation plan will no longer work. That’s why you’ll want to do some virtual parenting. Doing so will allow you to still keep in touch with your kids…

Virtual Parenting: Keep In Touch

Make use of technology

Doing any kind of virtual parenting is going to require you using technology. Still, there’s a lot of different options out there you can use. It’s important you find which ones will work best for both you and your kids.

For example, calling and texting are easy and probably something you can do at all times. But, it might also be good to use some kind of video chat of Facetime on top of that. This will let you get in some face-to-face time, even if you can’t be there in person.

Set aside some time

It’s also handy to set aside some dedicated time for virtual parenting. You can send you kids texts through the day, but you or they may also get busy. This will limit how much you can talk, and make your text conversations very brief and somewhat impersonal.

Having some dedicated time can get around this issue. Being able to talk one-on-one is much more personal, and helps to show your kids you care for them. Still, spontaneous calls or texts are also good for showing your kids you’re still thinking of them, even when you’re doing other things.

Keep up with their Lives

Even while doing some virtual parenting, you can still keep up with your kids lives. For instance, you can ask them how classes are going, especially with how many have gone online. You can also ask them about what they’re doing to pass the time while they’re at home.

Also, try to find things to you can both do together even while you’re apart. Maybe you can find some kind of game which you can both play online. Or, you could also look for movies which you can stream and share. While it may not be the same as in person, it’s certainly better than nothing!

Online Dating Pics: Set Up For Success

If you’re thinking about dating again after your divorce, online sites might be appealing to you. However, it’s important you set your profile up right by using good online dating pics. Choosing the right pictures can help you make that good first impression you’re aiming for..

Online Dating Pics: Set Up For Success

Don’t Lead with group pics

When picking out your online dating pics, it’s okay to use a few group photos. But, you don’t want to use one of them as your main profile pic. Doing so could cause some potential issues to arise.

By using a group picture, it makes it harder for people you match with to figure out which one you are. If they can’t tell right away, then they could decide not to send you a message. They could also mistake someone else for you! If you do use some group photos, try to have them in your gallery instead.

Present your personality

Online dating pics are very handy for showing off your personality. Odds are you will want to match with people who have a similar personality and interests. That’s why good pics choices are important. Choosing the right ones can clearly show others what kind of person you are.

For example, if you like sports, then you can use photos of you playing them or at sporting events. If you like traveling, then it can be good to have a picture of your latest trips. Using pictures like these can help you better find people you do share interests with, and avoid those you don’t.

Avoid pics of past relationships

Any online dating pics you chose should avoid being from past relationships. Using pictures that have your ex in them, or clearly show them cropped out, can make it hard to draw in matches. That’s why you’ll want to skip these photos.

Also, using these pictures will make it harder for you to move on. Seeing these photos every time you access your profile can bring up some negative feelings. If those feelings are constant, then it may be good to wait until you resolve them before you start dating.

Quarantine Living: Making It Easier

The ongoing coronavirus pandemic has caused many couples to remain indoors. However, if things were already tense beforehand, or if you were thinking about divorcing, then quarantine living can be pretty hard. As a result, you’ll want to find ways to make things easier…

Quarantine Living: Making It Easier

Keep some structure

One way to make quarantine living more manageable is by making some structure. The change to staying at home has probably thrown your old schedule all out of sorts. If you have kids, then they’re probably going to be at home with you too. Therefore, you may not be sure as to what exactly it is you should be doing.

That’s why it can be handy to create your own schedule and structure. Set a constant alarm, and go through your normal morning routine as usual. Then, set aside time for work, to eat, to exercise, etc. Doing something similar for the kids can help everyone avoid the feeling of going stir-crazy.

Have your own space

Having your own space is also handy for quarantine living. The last thing you want is for everyone to feel like they’re on top of each other. While you may all be stuck at home, you still need to have some privacy. To get that privacy, it’s helpful to set aside some space for yourself.

For instance, it might be useful for you and your partner to have you own separate “work” areas. You kids might also benefit from having their own space to do school work in. Everyone having their own little areas will help create that feeling of personal space.

Work on communication

Quarantine living is a great time for you and your partner to work on you communication skills. Issues with communication are some of the most common reasons as to why couples fight. With how much time you’ll be spending at home, you’re going to want to avoid big explosive fights as best as you can.

A great way to do this is by being able to properly communicate. When issues arise, be sure you and your partner talk to each other about it. Keep things calm, civil, and let the both of you present your sides or thoughts. This will help you come to agreements and avoid those big blowups.

Coronavirus Concerns: Divorce Impacts

The recent outbreak of coronavirus (COVID-19) has certainly affected many different areas, divorce included. There’s a few specific coronavirus concerns you might have about divorce. It’s important to know how the process may be impacted, and what to be mindful of if you want to divorce…

Coronavirus Concerns

Health concerns

Perhaps the most pressing coronavirus concerns are those related to health. Divorce is a very stressful event, and too much stress can weaken the immune system. At a time where staying healthy is key, you may not want to put yourself in a spot where you’re not at 100%.

Furthermore, consider how much you’ll have to deal with during the divorce. On top of potential conflict, you might have to move to a new home, schedule meetings with your ex, and a whole host of other things. This might give you a lot less time to take care of yourself during a time where you really need to. Be sure to keep that in mind if you want to divorce.

Financial issues

There’s also the coronavirus concerns about finances. Divorce not only places stress on you emotionally, but it also can strain your finances. First, there’s the cost of the divorce itself. Then, there’s the fact that you’ll probably be going from a double income house to a single income one. Sometimes, you may even need to look for a new job.

However, the coronavirus is already impacting the economy. Many people are working less, with some businesses not being open at all. Others are finding themselves losing their jobs due to the outbreak. Therefore, make sure you can juggle your divorce expenses along with these economic constraints.

The process itself

Coronavirus concerns have even made their way into impacting the divorce process itself. Recently, many states have been ordering employees to work from home, or are limiting operating hours. Among those included in these restrictions are the courts.

Due to this, cases which involve oral arguments are being delayed for around 2-4 months. Now, most divorcing people don’t need to go through those steps. However, if you think your divorce might, be aware that there will probably be a delay in when things get get moving.

Stepparent Discipline: What To Avoid

Figuring out how to discipline kids is something both co-parents and remarried couples struggle with. Stepparent discipline in particular can be hard to get a hang of. However, there’s a few things you’ll want to avoid doing…

Stepparent Discipline: What To Avoid

Too many changes

One thing to avoid as part of your stepparent discipline is too many changes. Consider how many different things have changed for your stepchild. First there was the divorce, splitting up their family as they knew it. Now, they find themselves with a new family, stepparent, and potentially new stepsiblings and a new home.

The last thing you want to do is present them with even more change. This is an easy way to make them feel resentment towards you. Instead, give them and everyone else some time to settle in. Once everyone is comfortable, then you can worry about other discipline-related matters.

Being too harsh

You also don’t want your stepparent discipline to be too harsh either. Despite what you may think, being too much of a disciplinarian will end up backfiring on you. Rather than making your stepchild respect you, they’ll end up resenting you and have an adversarial relationship towards you. Once this is in place, it can be hard to reverse this.

Instead, try to focus on being friendly towards them and get to know them better. They may be a little distant or cold at first, which is to be expected. However, as long as you show them that you’re there for them, they’ll be more likely to respect you and treat you as such.

Giving out punishment

What happens if your stepchild breaks the rules? It can be tempting to just give out a punishment on your own. After all, you are their parent now, right? The thing is, your stepchild isn’t going to see you this way. To them, you’re basically still a stranger.

Therefore, don’t be the one to hand out discipline to your stepchildren. That will harm your overall relationship with them. Instead, leave that kind of punishment to your spouse, as your stepchild will probably handle it better than if you tried to step in.

Moving Day: Get Yourself Ready

Deciding to move after your divorce isn’t always an easy choice to make. However, if you are moving, then it’s important to prepare for moving day properly. Getting yourself prepared will help your move go off much more smoothly than it would otherwise…

Moving Day: Get Yourself Ready

Declutter while packing

In general, it’s a good idea to do some decluttering before your moving day. A common issue people run into is that they’ll pack and move everything they have, only to realize they have a bunch of stuff they don’t really need. This causes their overall moving cost to be way more expensive than it should have been.

Therefore, it’s useful to do some decluttering while you’re packing for the move. As you go through your belongings, this is a perfect time to ask “do I really need this?” That way, you only bring along what you really need. Plus, you might be able to make a little bit of extra cash selling off those extra items!

Choose movers carefully

When moving day arrives, you’re probably going to need some extra help with getting your things to your new place. Still, you don’t want your stuff to get damaged. That’s why you should pick your extra help carefully. Most people will either choose a professional mover company, or ask their friends.

If you want to use a moving company, be sure to check for reviews. One place might be cheaper than the others, but it could have terrible reviews with tons of complaints. As for using friends, make sure to ask them ahead of time, and not right before the move. It also helps to offer them something like paid lunch for helping out!

Properly pack

Proper packing makes moving day go a whole lot easier than it would otherwise. When packing on your own, it helps to do it with some structure. Go into each room one a time and pack up what you need. That way, you won’t have a bunch of boxes filled with random things from all across the home.

If you hate packing, or just don’t have the time, then many moving companies offer to do so for you. Of course, this tends to come with some extra fees. However, these companies do tend to use stronger boxes, which can ensure your stuff stays better protected.

Adult Child Coping Methods

Divorce is always going to be hard on a couple’s kids, whether they’re younger or older. For the latter in particular, it’s helpful for them to know adult child coping methods. These methods can help them handle the divorce and the other responsibilities they have…

Adult Child Coping Methods

Avoid taking sides

One of the good adult child coping methods to use is remaining neutral. Divorce is always an unfortunate situation, especially when it happens in your own family. Still, you need to keep in mind that this isn’t your divorce. Instead, this is something your parents need to settle.

It’s not healthy for you to start picking sides in the divorce. This can he hard, especially considering you’re an adult now. However, while you can offer your support, just make sure it’s within the proper limits. You don’t want to get yourself too involved in the process itself.

Set your boundaries

Clear boundaries are another example of good adult child coping methods. As an adult, you’ll have other responsibilities to worry about now. This could include things like school, work, or your own family’s needs. It can be hard to balance these properly if your parents only lean on you for support.

That’s why you need to establish clear boundaries with them. They need to be aware of the other things you have to deal with too. While it’s certainly fine to help them, you can’t be their only source of support. They need to build strong, healthy support networks instead.

Don’t allow it to define you

A common problem adult children of divorcing parents experience is feeling like they’ll follow their parent’s footsteps. This can have a serious impact on their future relationships and how they view marriage. Due to this, it’s important to not buy into this kind of thinking as another of the adult child coping methods.

Remember that while we learn a lot from our parents, we’re still our own people. In fact, this can be a good time to learn what you should avoid doing in a relationship. While you don’t need every detail, seeing some of the issues your parents faced can help you be better prepared for if you encounter them yourself.