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Second Marriage: Tips For Success

Going into a second marriage after a divorce can be both exciting and scary. After all, with how many of these end in divorce, you don’t want a repeat of what happened last time. Therefore, there’s a few key things you’ll want to keep in mind…

Second Marriage: Tips For Success

Practice mutual respect

In a second marriage, it’s important that you and your partner respect each other. A lack of respect is a big reason why couples start to drift apart. If one spouse feels like the other doesn’t respect what they say or them in general, then it’ll quickly lead to tension.

Instead, both of you should be sure to respect what the other has to say. Encourage them to be honest and show them you appreciate them. A simple “thank you” will go a long way in making your partner feel like you respect them and value your marriage.

Create time for each other

It’s also important for those in a second marriage to spend time with one another. Now, there’s going to be times where you want to be alone or go be with friends. That’s totally normal, and an important part of a good relationship too. But, you also need to make time with your partner.

There’s a lot of ways you can spend this time together. For example, maybe you both like to spend time watching movies or T.V. at the end of the day. However, even simple things like going with them to the store can show them you enjoy being with them.

Talk about expectations

It’s a good idea in a second marriage to talk about expectations. Everyone has expectations, but sometimes, they can get out of hand. This is especially true after a divorce. You might not realize it, but your expectations could cause problems in the future.

If your expectations are too high, then you’ll constantly get disappointed when your spouse doesn’t reach them. To avoid this, talk to them about establishing realistic expectations. That way, you’ll both be on the same page about what your goals are for the marriage.

Post-Divorce Health: Achieve New Goals

Divorce is going to be tough, and it can have a bit of a negative impact on the body. Therefore, it’s a good idea to invest in your post-divorce health. Doing so can help you get started on achieving your new post-divorce goals…

 Post-Divorce Health

Get an energy boost

One good reason to focus on your post-divorce health is to get an energy boost. Divorce can cause you to feel pretty tired and lacking in motivation. While this is understandable, especially after all you had to deal with, getting healthy can help you find the energy you’ve been lacking.

Research has shown that people who exercise tend to have much more energy than those who don’t. Plus, eating healthier foods will give your body more energy than unhealthier choices. Channeling negative feelings into your workout can also help you start to feel better mentally.

Improve self-confidence

Improving your post-divorce health can also help improve your self-confidence. It’s quite common to feel a bit low after your divorce. You might even start to question if you’re really all that great, and focus more on perceived negatives about yourself. Of course, this isn’t good for you or your new goals

Getting healthy helps you start to feel better about yourself. Seeing those small steps, like losing a few pounds or getting better endurance, are great for your confidence. As you continue to improve yourself, you’ll also begin to feel the level of confidence needed to tackle what’s lying ahead.

Save extra money

Some people might claim that trying to focus on post-divorce health is too costly. Things like gym memberships or the cost of healthier foods can seem expensive, especially coming off of a divorce. While they might appear so at first, you have to think about the money you’re going to be saving down the line.

Living healthier will help reduce the risk of running into health issues. That way, you save money by avoiding costly doctor visits. Plus, you’ll also be able to save money on insurance, as you can find suitable plans at a lower rate. The money you save this way will outweigh the costs of food or gym memberships.

Divorce Length: Contributing Factors

One of the most-common questions about divorce is about how long it’ll take. The thing is, divorce length can be impacted by a number of factors. However, these particular factors tend to be why your divorce may be longer or shorter than you anticipated…

Divorce Length: Key Aspects

State factors

Certain aspects relating to the state you live in can impact your divorce length. Every state has different laws about divorce. Some may require you to be separated for a period of time before you can divorce. Others may need you to be a resident for a certain amount of time. Ultimately, it all depends on what kind of laws a state does or doesn’t have.

There also things like how busy the courts are with previous divorces. Recently, due to the COVID-19 pandemic, many states have closed or limited access to their courthouses. Many couple who might have planned to divorce, or were in the process of doing so, are experiencing delays because of this.

Conflict

Levels of conflict will also have an effect on your divorce length. For instance, if you and your ex constantly argue with one another, then that’s going to draw out the divorce process. Not only that, but it’ll also potentially drive up your costs as you spend more time fighting and less time moving things forwards.

Yet, if you can work together with your ex, your divorce can not take as long. Plus, coming to agreements together will leave you with results that you’re both happy with. Approaching those more-sensitive areas like co-parenting plans and asset-splitting in a neutral manner can cut down on any potential conflict.

Emotions

Your emotions can impact both the divorce length itself, and how long it takes you to move on. Feeling really upset about the divorce can drain your motivation and make it hard to take care of divorce matters. At the same time, being angry at your ex can lead to more conflict, which will certainly increase how long the divorce takes.

Even when the divorce is over, you may have trouble shaking those feelings and starting your new life. Therefore, it can be good to look for ways to help you process these feelings. Meeting with a therapist or using other healthy outlets can help you process these feelings and not let them stall your divorce.

Divorce Immune System

Divorce usually brings a lot of stress along with it. This stress can end up having a negative impact on your health, and your body’s ability to fight off sickness. With the COVID-19 pandemic currently going on, it’s especially important to boost your divorce immune system. Taking a few extra steps can help keep your body healthy…

Divorce Immune System: Keep Healthy

Change your lifestyle

Making some lifestyle changes is a great way to improve your divorce immune system. Doing some exercising, for instance, can help get rid of harmful bacteria from the lungs. It’s also great for promoting white blood cell and antibody production.

Eating healthier foods is also good for our body’s immune system. So can getting 7-8 hours of good sleep each night. Plus, not only will it help keep you healthy, but these steps will also help you feel a lot less stressed.

Have a healthy space

The environment you’re in is also important for your divorce immune system. It might seem odd to think that doing some redecorating can help keep you healthy. However, it’s all about reducing that stress. If you can make your home feel welcoming and inviting, it’ll mean you’ll be less stressed overall.

You may not have the money for a massive remodeling effort, but that’s okay! Even making some minor layout or color changes can go a long way. Having a nice, organized home can help you feel calm and centered, rather than anxious or worried. This means your body gets to focus more on making sure you stay healthy.

Take extra precautions

With everything that’s going on related to COVID-19, it’s now more important than ever to take extra precautions. Constantly exposing yourself to potential infection is not something you’ll want to do, even if you have a strong divorce immune system. Therefore, be sure you do all you can to keep yourself protected.

In general, it’s best to limit how much you need to go out. When you do need to head outside, try to wear a face mask and practice good social distancing as best as you can. Make sure you frequently wash your hands or use hand sanitizer, both while you’re out and once you get back home.

Home Business Post-Divorce: Making Moves

Many people struggle with going back to work after their divorce. For some, they’d rather try and do things their way with a home business post-divorce. While it can be tricky, it can also open up a new, and potentially lucrative, chapter in your life…

Home Business Post-Divorce: How To Prep

Find your niche

When starting a home business post-divorce, you first need to find your niche. The appeal of a home-based business is that it lets you appeal to markets which other major brands may look over. Where they may not see a profit, you could potentially have many loyal customers who are willing to pay for what you have to offer.

However, you need to make sure it’s something which you can properly apply your skills to. You don’t want to invest all your money into something you have no prior knowledge about! Take things slowly, do your research, and find an area you think you can tap into. That way, you avoid potentially getting stuck in an over-saturated or nonexistent market.

Take your time

It’s important to not rush into creating your home business post-divorce. Trying to simply rush and get things going will more than likely set your venture up for failure. It may take some time and require you to do some traditional work in the meantime as you save funds and get things off the ground.

The two major things you want to have are a good workspace at home and enough funds to get up and running. A good home workspace will encourage you to view your work as serious, even when at the house. Additionally, having plenty of funds will ensure you can cover your costs, especially in the early months when you’re trying to get sales going.

Don’t forget to take breaks

It can be exciting and stressful to set up a home business post-divorce. Still, you have to remember to not push yourself too hard. After all, you’re still recovering from all the stress and changes that came with your divorce.

That’s why you’ll want to make sure you take time to relax. Your mental and physically health should always take priority. It’s okay if it takes longer than expected to get your business running. Starting later but much more prepared is better than rushing and only scraping by!

Dating After Divorce: First Steps

Dating is never easy, but dating after divorce can feel daunting. It presents its own set of challenges. Perhaps it’s been a long time since you were even looking for someone to date. Use these tips to make this overwhelming experience feel a little bit easier.

Dating After Divorce: Where to Start

Self-Reflect

Before you even start thinking about dating after divorce, do a good hard look at your past. Unfortunately, it can be tough to dig deep like this. However, taking this step can help you to make sure you are not making the same mistakes over and over again. What went wrong in your marriage? What qualities did you like about your ex? Also, what qualities did you dislike? Think about traits they had that brought out both the best and the worst in you. Make a list of what you want in a partner, and what traits you want to avoid. 

Drop the Anger

Sure, you may still be really hurt about what happened in the past. There’s no denying that. But if you want to start dating after divorce, you have to work towards forgiving your ex. Carrying around anger towards your ex is like carrying around a heavy weight. Also, you could bring that anger and stress into your new relationship. Don’t feel ashamed to talk to someone or get help if you need help through the healing process. Letting go of the extra weight to find a new found freedom that will have you feeling ready and open to letting someone else in. 

Complaining about your ex is not what your new date wants to hear, especially on the first few dates. Keep conversations to what is important to you, and listen to your new date. Remember, they want to know you and not your ex. 

Expand Your Options

Perhaps you think you have a type. Maybe your ‘type’ has characteristics that did not work in the first place. Don’t limit yourself to only wanting to date one type of person. You should try going out with some people who don’t fit the mold of who you usually look for. You could be looking past some real gems! 

That being said, go with your gut. If you’re dating after divorce, don’t waste your time with someone you have a bad feeling about. Certainly, if you see red flags, get out. Do not stick around with someone who does not feel right. 

Online Dating

If you don’t know where to start, give online dating a try. Maybe online dating was not a thing the last time you were looking to date? That’s okay, give it a try. It is becoming one of the top ways to meet people now. When you are looking to start dating after divorce, online dating can help you ease back into the dating game by allowing you to get comfortable with just talking to people in messages. A tip is to have someone or several people you trust help you build, or approve, your profile. That way you make sure you’re set up for success.

There are many online dating sites out there now. There are even ones for different interests, religious affiliations, and age ranges. Read reviews and breakdowns to know which of the dating websites may be the best fit for you. 

In short, getting back into dating after divorce may feel overwhelming. Just take one step at a time. These steps will help you make your first steps towards finding a new relationship!

Helping Your Children Through Your Divorce

Divorce can be incredibly painful and stressful, and can also be stressful on your kids. Helping your children through your divorce is so important because they may be feeling a lot of emotions and not know how to handle them. Be patient with them as they sort out how they’re feeling. Also, be a good listener when they come to you with fears or concerns. Be reassuring and continually make sure they realize that you both still love them. And finally, you and your ex should still be a team when it comes to your children. Divorce is hard on everybody, but it’s important not to forget that your children can be feeling all the stresses that you are.

Helping Your Children Through Your Divorce: Help Them Cope With a Stressful Time

Be Patient

Helping your children through your divorce starts with being patient. This needs to start from the first moment you tell them that the divorce is happening. Give them plenty of space and time to react to the news. Even after you’ve told them, it might take them several days or even weeks to fully process what it means. Their entire world is changing. They may have a lot of questions about what their lives are going to look like in the future. Try to be patient and give them as much time as they need to process their emotions.

Be a Good Listener

Some children react to divorce by becoming very quiet and inward. However, some children are the opposite and want to talk things over. If your children are wanting to discuss concerns with you, be a good listener. Helping your children through your divorce means hearing out all of their fears. They may get angry, or blame you, or feel hurt. Listen to what they say without getting defensive.

Be Reassuring

Helping your children through your divorce often means reassuring them that the divorce is not their fault. No matter how you phrase the reasons for your split up, many children are prone to blaming themselves. Even though it likely has nothing to do with them. They’ll need to hear those words from you frequently. Reassure them that things are changing right now but that they’ll feel settled soon. They will find a new routine that will seem very normal. And of course, always reassure them about how much you love them and support them. Remind them that you’re always there to listen if they are feeling afraid or sad about all the changes happening in their life.

Be a Team

Finally, helping your children through your divorce relies on you and your ex being a team. You may have trouble being around each other. You may even resent them or have all sorts of bitterness towards them. However, you both need to work together to establish a healthy routine for your children. Playing the blame game only ends up hurting your children in the long run. Set the same boundaries for when they’re at each of your houses and don’t try to win their favor by buying them gifts. Your children don’t need to hear about the problems you had in your marriage. Try to remember that they probably deeply love your ex and need to know that you’re supportive of the relationship they have with their other parent.

Helping your children through your divorce is so important because children experience big feelings. But they often don’t know how to process these feelings and can get overwhelmed easily. Be patient when they’re explaining how they feel and be a good listener. Reassure them repeatedly that they are loved and that they did not have anything to do with the divorce. And finally, you and your ex need to be a team, at least when it comes to your children. It’s important to set aside your differences and your bitterness in order to parent them the best way you can. They need your love and support at a time in their lives that is bound to be stressful.

Prenups and Postnups: What’s the Difference?

If you are engaged and discussing financials, you might be wondering what the difference is between prenuptial and postnuptial agreements. Prenups and postnups both determine how a couple will divide their assets in the event of a divorce. The biggest difference is that prenups occur before marriage and postnups occur after a couple is married. A couple usually considers these types of agreements if one person is bringing a lot more wealth to the relationship and wants to protect those assets. Or if one is expecting to inherit large sums of money. Although both have their critics, many find that these types of agreements are the best way to protect your financial wealth.

Prenups and Postnups: What’s the Difference and Do You Need One?

What is a Prenup?

Prenups and postnups are very similar in concept, they just occur at different times. A prenuptial is an agreement between two prospective spouses that determines how their assets will be divided if they divorce. A lot of people feel that a prenup is anti-romantic. They think that it means a couple is already assuming they’ll divorce before they even get married. However, in the US, 50% of marriages end in divorce. Realistically, prenups are a wise choice to protect your financial security.

Who Needs a Prenup?

A couple might discuss prenups and postnups if one partner is bringing more money into the marriage than the other. Similarly, if one has a large estate or is going to inherit a lot of money, they may want one. A prenup prevents a couple from going through a long, drawn-out divorce if they decide to end their marriage. Prenups are especially common for people entering their second, third, or fourth marriages.

What is a Postnup?

Prenups and postnups are very similar, however, a postnup occurs after a couple marries. Other than timing, it’s basically the same as a prenuptial agreement. These have become more common in recent years. They are now legal in all 50 states. Like a prenup, a postnup decides how your assets will be divided in the case of your marriage ending. Similar to prenups, they don’t make any concessions regarding your children or future children.

Who Needs a Postnup?

Since prenups and postnups are so similar, you might be wondering why some opt for postnups. The main reason is simple convenience. Often, the planning stage of an engagement is so stressful and busy that a couple simply doesn’t have time to sit down and draw up a prenup. If this is the case, they’ll often decide to do a postnup instead. This is also an option for couples who feel that the conversation will be awkward and would rather wait until after they marry to have it. Like a prenup, postnups are encouraged if partners are bringing significantly different amounts of wealth into a marriage.

The bottom line is that prenups and postnups are very similar. The only difference between them is that prenuptial take place before marriage and postnuptials occur after the couple says “I do.” However, both of them are legal agreements that spell out what will happen to financial assets in the case of a divorce. If you decide that you and your partner should come to an agreement on either a prenup or postnup, you should consult an experienced attorney. They’ll help guide you through the process and make sure that you are protected financially in the case of your marriage dissolving. Hopefully, you’ll never need to go through the stress of a divorce, but if you do, having a prenup or postnup will make the process much easier.

The Pros and Cons of Single Parenting After a Divorce

If you’re considering seeking sole custody, you may be wondering about the pros and cons of single parenting after a divorce. There are a lot of factors to consider when deciding if this is the right choice for you. One positive of single parenting is that you get to be the decision-maker for your children. Another positive is that your children will have a lot of consistency living in one home with one parent rather than going back and forth. One negative of the situation is that you won’t have another parent around for support. And finally, it can have a negative impact on your children’s relationship with the non-custodial parent. There are many positives and negatives to single parenting, but hopefully, you’ll be able to decide on the choice that works best for your family.

The Pros and Cons of Single Parenting After a Divorce: Dealing with Sole Custody

Pro: Getting to Be the Deciding Factor

One of the positives of single parenting after a divorce is that you get to be the single deciding factor. This is especially helpful if your ex-partner is flaky or inconsistent. If they are in jail or have mental health issues that prevent them from making sound parenting choices, you get to be the legal guardian. This means that you don’t have to run concerns by them first. You can act as your children’s sole advocate. This is especially helpful in cases where there is a medical emergency and a quick decision must be made. Single parenting means that you get to decide alone how best to raise your children.

Pro: Consistency

Another positive of single parenting after a divorce is that your children will have a lot of consistency in their lives. Going back and forth between two different homes can be very hard on kids. Especially if you and your ex have very different lifestyles and parenting styles. If you’re the sole guardian, they will stay with you all of the time and won’t have that back and forth. This can create a very close bond between you.

Con: Lack of Support

One negative of single parenting after a divorce is that you will not have the support of a partner. While making decisions alone can seem like a good thing, often it’s nice to have a partner to bounce ideas off of. It can be hard to find the emotional support as well as general help with childcare that you might need. If you work full time it can be hard to find caregivers for your children. In addition, you may have a lack of financial support to deal with as well. You’ll most likely be raising them mostly on your own money, which can be difficult when you’re used to two full salaries.

Con: Relationship Gap

Another con of single parenting after a divorce is that your children’s relationship with their other parents could suffer. It’s difficult for children to spend much less time with one parent than the other. Often it creates resentment and bitterness. Your children might miss their other parents and ask you frequently if they can spend time with them. In addition, it can strain your relationship with your kids if they view you as keeping them from their other parent. However, you know what’s best for your children and must make the decision that is right for you and them.

There are plenty of pros and cons of single parenting after a divorce besides the ones above. In fact, deciding between sole and joint custody can be very complicated and difficult. Carefully weigh the positives and negatives of each option. Consider the pros that you’ll be the sole decider on issues and that your children will have consistency in their lives. But also weigh the cons of having less support and the possible negative effects on your relationships. Consider each option and decide what makes the most sense for your family. Hopefully, you’ll be able to come to a decision that works for you and your children.

Budgeting for Adoption: Helpful Tips

Budgeting for adoption can seem daunting because the process can be very expensive in America. However, the ultimate goal is well worth the costs. If you are wanting to adopt, investigate all the costs that will be involved. Decide on a budget goal that you feel is reachable. Look into options for financial help like grants, loans, and employee benefits. And finally, always prepare for some unexpected expenses. The adoption process can be lengthy and expensive, but don’t let the cost deter you from completing your family.

Budgeting for Adoption: Helpful Tips to Reach Your Goal

Research Costs for Adoption

The first step to budgeting for adoption is to do your homework. Explore options for different agencies that you can use. Figure out what the total cost will be of the adoption process from start to finish. Shop around different agencies too and get quotes for what their fees are. Don’t necessarily go with the least expensive option though. You want to make sure that it’s a high-quality agency that will help you through the process.

Decide on a Budget

When budgeting for adoption, you’ll need to decide on a budget that you are comfortable with. Figure out if it’s best to go through state agencies or international. You might investigate agencies run through churches as well. When speaking with adoption agencies, ask about any hidden costs. Things like maternal expenses for the laboring mom, legal fees, and agency fees. You want to pick an agency that is fully transparent and upfront about all of its costs.

Look into Financial Options

When budgeting for adoption, investigate all of your options. You might have employee benefits for adoptive parents. Take advantage of the Adoption Tax Credit. There are also grants provided for adoptive families that you can apply for. You can also take out a personal loan to help pay for adoption expenses. Speak to a financial planner so that they can help you take advantage of any help you can find with subsidizing the costs of an adoption.

Anticipate Unexpected Costs

As with all things, adoption can come with its share of surprises. Therefore, it’s important to anticipate unexpected costs when budgeting for adoption. You might find that the cost of living and healthcare in some states is higher than in others. If you choose a pregnant mother in a more expensive area, or if her health insurance doesn’t cover the costs of birth, your expenses could increase. In addition, sometimes there are adoption plans that fall through at the last second. In these situations, it’s difficult to recoup all of the fees you’ve paid upfront. And of course, the cost of actually bringing a baby home and caring for it can surprise expectant parents sometimes.

Budgeting for adoption is important because the process can be quite expensive. However, if you speak to other adoptive parents you’ll find that the cost is well worth it. Investigate potential agencies and try to get an estimate of overall costs well in advance. Decide on a budget that you are comfortable with and choose an agency from there. Take advantage of tax credits, grants, employee benefits, and other helpful avenues to help cover the cost. And finally, prepare for some unexpected expenses. As with all things in life, adoption can come with its share of surprises. While the cost of adoption can be difficult for families to wrap their heads around, it’s important to not let that deter you from your goal. There are many options available to help you make your dream come true of welcoming a new child into your family.