Category: post-divorce

Post-Divorce Health: Achieve New Goals

Divorce is going to be tough, and it can have a bit of a negative impact on the body. Therefore, it’s a good idea to invest in your post-divorce health. Doing so can help you get started on achieving your new post-divorce goals…

 Post-Divorce Health

Get an energy boost

One good reason to focus on your post-divorce health is to get an energy boost. Divorce can cause you to feel pretty tired and lacking in motivation. While this is understandable, especially after all you had to deal with, getting healthy can help you find the energy you’ve been lacking.

Research has shown that people who exercise tend to have much more energy than those who don’t. Plus, eating healthier foods will give your body more energy than unhealthier choices. Channeling negative feelings into your workout can also help you start to feel better mentally.

Improve self-confidence

Improving your post-divorce health can also help improve your self-confidence. It’s quite common to feel a bit low after your divorce. You might even start to question if you’re really all that great, and focus more on perceived negatives about yourself. Of course, this isn’t good for you or your new goals

Getting healthy helps you start to feel better about yourself. Seeing those small steps, like losing a few pounds or getting better endurance, are great for your confidence. As you continue to improve yourself, you’ll also begin to feel the level of confidence needed to tackle what’s lying ahead.

Save extra money

Some people might claim that trying to focus on post-divorce health is too costly. Things like gym memberships or the cost of healthier foods can seem expensive, especially coming off of a divorce. While they might appear so at first, you have to think about the money you’re going to be saving down the line.

Living healthier will help reduce the risk of running into health issues. That way, you save money by avoiding costly doctor visits. Plus, you’ll also be able to save money on insurance, as you can find suitable plans at a lower rate. The money you save this way will outweigh the costs of food or gym memberships.

Divorce Immune System

Divorce usually brings a lot of stress along with it. This stress can end up having a negative impact on your health, and your body’s ability to fight off sickness. With the COVID-19 pandemic currently going on, it’s especially important to boost your divorce immune system. Taking a few extra steps can help keep your body healthy…

Divorce Immune System: Keep Healthy

Change your lifestyle

Making some lifestyle changes is a great way to improve your divorce immune system. Doing some exercising, for instance, can help get rid of harmful bacteria from the lungs. It’s also great for promoting white blood cell and antibody production.

Eating healthier foods is also good for our body’s immune system. So can getting 7-8 hours of good sleep each night. Plus, not only will it help keep you healthy, but these steps will also help you feel a lot less stressed.

Have a healthy space

The environment you’re in is also important for your divorce immune system. It might seem odd to think that doing some redecorating can help keep you healthy. However, it’s all about reducing that stress. If you can make your home feel welcoming and inviting, it’ll mean you’ll be less stressed overall.

You may not have the money for a massive remodeling effort, but that’s okay! Even making some minor layout or color changes can go a long way. Having a nice, organized home can help you feel calm and centered, rather than anxious or worried. This means your body gets to focus more on making sure you stay healthy.

Take extra precautions

With everything that’s going on related to COVID-19, it’s now more important than ever to take extra precautions. Constantly exposing yourself to potential infection is not something you’ll want to do, even if you have a strong divorce immune system. Therefore, be sure you do all you can to keep yourself protected.

In general, it’s best to limit how much you need to go out. When you do need to head outside, try to wear a face mask and practice good social distancing as best as you can. Make sure you frequently wash your hands or use hand sanitizer, both while you’re out and once you get back home.

Home Business Post-Divorce: Making Moves

Many people struggle with going back to work after their divorce. For some, they’d rather try and do things their way with a home business post-divorce. While it can be tricky, it can also open up a new, and potentially lucrative, chapter in your life…

Home Business Post-Divorce: How To Prep

Find your niche

When starting a home business post-divorce, you first need to find your niche. The appeal of a home-based business is that it lets you appeal to markets which other major brands may look over. Where they may not see a profit, you could potentially have many loyal customers who are willing to pay for what you have to offer.

However, you need to make sure it’s something which you can properly apply your skills to. You don’t want to invest all your money into something you have no prior knowledge about! Take things slowly, do your research, and find an area you think you can tap into. That way, you avoid potentially getting stuck in an over-saturated or nonexistent market.

Take your time

It’s important to not rush into creating your home business post-divorce. Trying to simply rush and get things going will more than likely set your venture up for failure. It may take some time and require you to do some traditional work in the meantime as you save funds and get things off the ground.

The two major things you want to have are a good workspace at home and enough funds to get up and running. A good home workspace will encourage you to view your work as serious, even when at the house. Additionally, having plenty of funds will ensure you can cover your costs, especially in the early months when you’re trying to get sales going.

Don’t forget to take breaks

It can be exciting and stressful to set up a home business post-divorce. Still, you have to remember to not push yourself too hard. After all, you’re still recovering from all the stress and changes that came with your divorce.

That’s why you’ll want to make sure you take time to relax. Your mental and physically health should always take priority. It’s okay if it takes longer than expected to get your business running. Starting later but much more prepared is better than rushing and only scraping by!

Dating After Divorce: First Steps

Dating is never easy, but dating after divorce can feel daunting. It presents its own set of challenges. Perhaps it’s been a long time since you were even looking for someone to date. Use these tips to make this overwhelming experience feel a little bit easier.

Dating After Divorce: Where to Start

Self-Reflect

Before you even start thinking about dating after divorce, do a good hard look at your past. Unfortunately, it can be tough to dig deep like this. However, taking this step can help you to make sure you are not making the same mistakes over and over again. What went wrong in your marriage? What qualities did you like about your ex? Also, what qualities did you dislike? Think about traits they had that brought out both the best and the worst in you. Make a list of what you want in a partner, and what traits you want to avoid. 

Drop the Anger

Sure, you may still be really hurt about what happened in the past. There’s no denying that. But if you want to start dating after divorce, you have to work towards forgiving your ex. Carrying around anger towards your ex is like carrying around a heavy weight. Also, you could bring that anger and stress into your new relationship. Don’t feel ashamed to talk to someone or get help if you need help through the healing process. Letting go of the extra weight to find a new found freedom that will have you feeling ready and open to letting someone else in. 

Complaining about your ex is not what your new date wants to hear, especially on the first few dates. Keep conversations to what is important to you, and listen to your new date. Remember, they want to know you and not your ex. 

Expand Your Options

Perhaps you think you have a type. Maybe your ‘type’ has characteristics that did not work in the first place. Don’t limit yourself to only wanting to date one type of person. You should try going out with some people who don’t fit the mold of who you usually look for. You could be looking past some real gems! 

That being said, go with your gut. If you’re dating after divorce, don’t waste your time with someone you have a bad feeling about. Certainly, if you see red flags, get out. Do not stick around with someone who does not feel right. 

Online Dating

If you don’t know where to start, give online dating a try. Maybe online dating was not a thing the last time you were looking to date? That’s okay, give it a try. It is becoming one of the top ways to meet people now. When you are looking to start dating after divorce, online dating can help you ease back into the dating game by allowing you to get comfortable with just talking to people in messages. A tip is to have someone or several people you trust help you build, or approve, your profile. That way you make sure you’re set up for success.

There are many online dating sites out there now. There are even ones for different interests, religious affiliations, and age ranges. Read reviews and breakdowns to know which of the dating websites may be the best fit for you. 

In short, getting back into dating after divorce may feel overwhelming. Just take one step at a time. These steps will help you make your first steps towards finding a new relationship!

How-to Find a Post-Divorce Apartment

Following your divorce, you may need to start getting ready to move. Finding a new home can be both difficult and expensive. As a result, many people opt for a post-divorce apartment instead. If you’re in the market for an apartment, there’s a few things to consider while you’re searching…

How-to Find a Post-Divorce Apartment: Key Factors

Budget accordingly

One of the most important things to remember when looking for a post-divorce apartment is your budget. Your divorce may have left a bit of an impact on your finances. You may also need to completely redo your past budget. Therefore, you need to make sure your new apartment won’t break the bank.

Remember that there’s more to your apartment’s expenses than just rent. You’ll also have to consider costs like groceries and utilities as well. When you’re looking at an apartment, be sure to ask what is or isn’t included, and what other extra costs they may have.

Proximity to others

You should also consider how close your apartment is to others important to you. After your divorce, your friends and family are going to still be an important source of divorce. That’s why it may be good to find a place close-by to them. This makes it easy for them to come over and for you to spend time with them.

If you’re a parent, then you’ll especially want to give some consideration to your kids. It may be important to find a place which isn’t too far from your other co-parent to make things easier. You may also want to think about if your apartment will have enough space for your kids should they stay over there.

Future goals

Something you don’t want to forget to consider when looking for a post-divorce apartment is what your future plans are. For instance, consider what kind of job you want to work down the line. Will your apartment be close by to those opportunities? If not, then you may want to view this as just a temporary steppingstone.

Of course, you should also think about if you want to buy a new home. Some people like to stay in their apartment for a few years before settling down in a house again. Still, if you want to move into a new home sooner than that, you probably won’t want a super-long lease.

Post-Divorce Debt: Management Methods

Divorce can sometimes be costly, and as such it helps to prepare a bit financially. Still, even with a good plan, you might find yourself with some post-divorce debt. This debt is definitely something you’ll want to get under control. There’s a few things you can do to help get it down to a manageable level…

Post-Divorce Debt: Financial Impact of Divorce

Re-evaluate your budget

Your post-divorce debt is probably going to require you to take a new look at your budget. As you go away from a double-income household to a single-income one, your past budget may not work as well as it used to. Plus, you’ll probably have some additional expenses to manage. Among these will be your debt.

Therefore, take the time and plan out a potential new budget. Consider your necessary expenses, and how much income you make. This can help you see if you can cut spending in one area to help with debt payments, or if you may need to consider looking for a better-paying job.

Set up payment plans

Another helpful way to handle post-divorce debt is by having payment plans. Not paying your debt at all can quickly add up as extra interest is accumulated. Now, some places may give forgiveness for one or two months missed. Still, if it becomes a habit, then your debt will continue to mount and things like your credit will suffer.

Instead, you can see about setting up a payment plan. Usually, these will let you set up automatic payments for debt payments every month. You may also be able to set up adjusted payments. This can see you making smaller, more manageable monthly payments, but making more of them over a longer period of time.

Consider all your strategies

Of course, the best thing to do with post-divorce debt is to pay it off. However, it’s entirely possible that you just don’t have the extra money to do so. Rather than just let those bills pile up, you should take the time to consider all of your potential options.

For example, if you have good credit, you may want to think about debt consolidation. This puts all your debt together and can lower your interest rate. You might also want to consider debt management, settlement, and in extreme cases, bankruptcy. Just note that these can have a negative impact on your credit in exchange for helping you control or remove your debt.

Sell or Keep the Family Home: Post-Divorce

After a divorce, it can be difficult to decide if you should sell or keep the family home. There are plenty of factors that play into this. Everyone’s situation will be different…

Sell or Keep the Family Home: Factors to Consider

Finances

Your financial situation will play a big role in deciding if you should sell or keep the family home after a divorce. Based on your situation, you may have the option to sell the home and split the profit. Another option may be to buy out your spouse to keep the house. You will need to determine which is a better option for you financially.

You may have to speak with a financial advisor or an accountant to see which option is going to be the best financially. Keep in mind there are a lot of financial responsibilities that come with owning a house. You don’t want to start a new chapter of your life with expenses and debt you can’t handle. 

Eligibility for a Mortgage 

Additionally, while deciding if you should sell or keep the family home, you should check to see if you could qualify for a mortgage, if needed. In some cases, one spouse may not be approved to carry a mortgage on their own. This is especially true if they were a non-income earning spouse. You certainly don’t want to make a decision based on thinking you could easily buy another house without making sure you are eligible for a mortgage.

Children

If you have children, especially ones in school, they could be a factor in deciding if you should sell or keep the family home. It can be difficult to uproot children and move them to a different school. Therefore, this may play a role in you deciding to keep you in your current home. Research the schools in the new area you may be considering so that you can make an informed decision. 

A New Start

Sometimes, you may just need a brand new start. A home can hold a lot of memories and emotions. Selling a home can give you the opportunity for a new start. Whether that move is locally, or long-distance, moving into a completely new home may be a deciding factor in whether or not to sell or keep the family home. 

Divorce comes with many difficult decisions to make. Deciding if you should keep or sell the family home could be one of them. Take your time, do your research, and think it through so that you make sure you’re making the right decision.

Birds Nest Agreement: Will it Work for Me? 

When it comes to child custody, every family has their own ways of making it work. From swapping weekends, holidays, christmases, pick ups, and so forth— you each have things that make your agreement unique. One of the most jarring things about child custody swaps, is moving your child from one home to another on a regular basis. For some families, this just doesn’t feel like the right way to do things. Therefore, a certain agreement, called the birds nest agreement, has become popular for many families. So, we’re going to break it down for you, and help you decide whether this is just the move your family has been looking for. 

Birds Nest Agreement: Will it Work for Me? 

What is a birds nest agreement? 

A birds nest agreement is where you have one home for the each of you: one for Mom, Dad, and Child. In a birds nest agreement, the two parents will swap off time spent in the ‘birds nest’ when it’s their time for custody. In short, whoever has the custody time, will be in the house while the other parent will stay in their respective home. Each member has their own home, and both parents share the responsibilities of the third home. 

What is negative about this? 

Of course, the idea of having a third dwelling seems, and absolutely is, extremely costly. You have to maintain three rents/mortgages. In short, this option isn’t necessarily cost-efficient for anyone involved. 

Furthermore, this agreement can also seriously hinder a new relationship if you’re in one. You aren’t in your own home for half off the time, you share a space with your former spouse, and your time is more divided than it would be in any other situation. However, if this is important to you, it’s just another bump along the way for your relationship. 

However, there are plenty of positives

One: you solve the biggest issue for divorced parents, going back and forth between pick ups and drops offs. Your kid doesn’t have to shuffle their belongings, school work, and themselves between one home and the other. This option is stable, and skips some of the hardest things about a child custody agreement. Communication can be easy to maintain through a common calendar, white board, or other things throughout the house. 

All in all, it’s an expensive, yet stable option 

This type of agreement has it’s fair share of ups and down— as does any agreement. Ultimately, this would be a really nice option for anyone who has the financial ability to do so, and the flexibility to move from spot to spot on a regular basis. Every custody agreement is different, and each family needs something different— which makes this a viable option.

Court Attire: Dress for Success

It only takes 1/10th of a second for someone to form a first impression. This means it’s important to make as good of a first impression as possible. This is especially true in court, where the impression you give can have lasting effects on the outcome of your case. Having the proper court attire goes a long way in making that first impression on the judge a good one…

Court Attire: Dress for Success

Keep it classy

Everyday clothing has become much more relaxed these days than in the past. The rise of business casual dress codes also means that some people are unaware of what “normal” business attire should consist of. This can translate to potentially unprofessional court attire.

You’ll want to approach dressing for court like dressing for a job interview. For men, this means collared shirts, dress pants, and ties. For women, dresses, skirts and blouses, or dress pants and tops will work. Make sure they are simple with no crazy designs or colors as well. 

Tattoos and piercings 

Tattoos and body piercings have also become much more common these days. However, how do they apply when thinking of court attire? What would be considered appropriate versus crossing the line? It really comes down to finding the best way to mix looking professional versus expressing yourself.

You’ll probably want to wear clothes that’ll cover your tattoos as best as possible. You’ll also want to take out any “unique” piercings like nose or lip ones. Additionally, if you have colored hair, make sure to dye it to a natural color for your court appearance. This shows the judge you’re going the extra mile to be professional in their courtroom. 

It’s all about respect

Proper court attire all comes down to showing respect for court and the judge. If the judge sees that you’re putting in the effort to treat your case seriously, then it boosts your credibility. Dressing properly isn’t a guarantee of success, of course; it just means you’re starting off on the right foot. 

Dressing is just one part of the full courtroom experience. You’ll also need to make sure you’re aware of proper courtroom etiquette. Having both perfected will let you and your lawyer focus on the case at hand rather than any distractions. 

Narcissistic Ex: How To Communicate

Figuring out how to talk to your ex as a co-parent can be pretty tough. This can only get harder if you’re dealing with a narcissistic ex. While it might feel impossible at first, there are ways you can make it a bit easier for yourself when you have to talk to them…

Narcissistic Ex: How To Communicate

Don’t take the bait

One of the trickiest parts of talking to a narcissistic ex is how they like to change the subject. Often times, they might try to steer the conversation towards themselves or what they’re doing, in order to show off. Or, they might make jabs at you to try and get under your skin.

When this happens, it’s important to not take the bait. They want to get you upset, and in turn make you lose focus of the conversation’s original goal. Do your best to ignore those comments and stick to what you need to discuss. If they refuse to focus, then disengage and tell them you’ll talk at a later time.

Stick to “yes” or “no” answers

If a narcissistic ex tries to ask you questions, especially over email or text, they tend to make them not as straightforward as they should. For instance, they might include some kind of backhanded comment or brag about what they’re doing. While you might feel the need to correct the record, the best response is to keep your answers brief.

Ignore all the stuff they included that isn’t relevant to what you have to do as a co-parent. Single out those questions, and make it clear you’re only replying to that part of the question. For example, if they ask if you can watch the kids, but try to insert a brag about themselves, just say “yes, I can watch the kids” and leave it at that.

Set your boundaries

A narcissist, especially a narcissistic ex, loves to poke and prod at your boundaries. They want to push your buttons, find out what you’re doing, and figure out a way to either put you down, or lift themselves up. That’s why it’s important to keep your boundaries firm. Don’t give them any room to work with, and if they don’t respect the boundaries, then you know your conversation isn’t worth continuing.