April 2021 - Fort Mill Family Law Attorneys

Survival Guide for Dating After Divorce: Getting Back in the Game

Make Sure You’re Ready

Before you start dating after divorce, make sure that you’re completely ready to get back in the game. You need to take time to adjust to all the changes in your life. In addition, going through a divorce is incredibly stressful, so make sure that you’ve recovered from the emotional upheaval of it all. Before you even think about going on a date, make sure that you take time for some self-love first. Put yourself as a priority and you’ll be more confident and open to a new potential partner.

Don’t Complain About Your Ex

Dating after divorce has one hard and fast rule: don’t talk about the ex. At least not at first. It’s best to take time to figure out what went wrong in your relationship. Both on your ex’s end and things that you might have done. Reflect on what you want in a new partner and try not to make comparisons. When you start dating somebody and they ask about your divorce, try to discuss it in a rational way. Bad-mouthing your ex-spouse can make you sound petty, so showing that you’ve maturely handled the divorce is best.

Take it Slow

Next, when dating after divorce, take it slow. There’s no need to rush into your next serious relationship. Taking it slow will give you time to really examine the relationship as it grows. In this way, you can hopefully spot any red flags. You’ll have a chance to address them or end the relationship before things are too serious. If you have children, it’s especially important to take your time. Make sure that you only introduce them to people that you see a future with. Otherwise, you run the risk of them getting attached to your new date and then being hurt if things don’t work out.

Have Fun

Finally, and maybe most importantly, have fun when dating after divorce! You probably never expected to be back in the dating game. But now that you’re here, make the most of it. Enjoy the fun of getting to know new people. Figure out what you want out of a new partner and see if you can find a great match. While it can be scary, dating should still be enjoyable. Try to relax and not worry about where things are going. Take time to just enjoy the thrill of a new date.

Dating after divorce can seem so overwhelming. But it’s important to try and not rush into things or take them too seriously. You have plenty of time to find a new partner. Make sure that you’ve healed from your divorce before you even start thinking about dating again. And make sure that you’ve taken time to prioritize yourself for a little while. Try not to bad mouth your ex to your new dates as this can be a red flag. Take things slow with any new partners, especially if you have children. And finally, have fun and enjoy the experience. You have another chance to go on first dates and meet some amazing new people, try to find the silver lining, and enjoy it.

If you are preparing for summer with joint custody of your kids, you might need to re-examine your schedule. The school year and summer present different obstacles for splitting custody. If you work full time, arranging childcare can be difficult. In addition, if you or your ex have vacations planned, you may need to be flexible with your schedules. If you’re planning on sending them to summer camp, you’ll need to both be on the same page. Similarly, if you’re planning to hire a babysitter or nanny for the summer you’ll want to make sure that you both are comfortable. Finally, although summer doesn’t have a ton of holidays to work around, you should have a plan for the 4th of July and others. Hopefully, if you both are open-minded, you can come up with a summer schedule that works for everybody!

Preparing for Summer with Joint Custody of Your Kids

Planning Vacations

Summertime is when most families take vacations since the children are out of school. If you’re preparing for summer with joint custody, you’ll need to take into account your custody arrangement before planning vacations. If your schedule doesn’t give you enough time for a full vacation, talk to your ex about switching around days. They may also have a vacation they’d like to take and want to have you return the favor later for them. Staying flexible and understanding is the key to working out a plan that works for everybody.

Planning Camps

Summer with joint custody can be difficult for parents who both work full time. Without school in session, it’s hard to entertain children all day at home. Luckily, there are many summer camps available to help break up the time. You and your ex need to be on the same page with what camps you’d like to send your children to. Financially, you need to establish boundaries as well. Hopefully, you can come to an agreement in regards to who is paying for summer camp, which camp the kids are going to, and what the pickup/drop-off schedule will look like.

Summer Help

If you’re facing summer with joint custody, you may be looking into hiring help. A nanny or babysitter can be a huge benefit to working parents when the kids are home from school. Kids respond well to consistency, so talk to your ex about hiring the same nanny. You could even coordinate it so that the nanny is able to drive the kids to and from your respective houses on days when you switch custody. Just make sure that you are on the same page with who is paying for which days so that you don’t leave your summer help in the lurch. Also, make sure that both parties are comfortable with whoever you hire.

Holidays

Finally, you need to consider holidays when planning for summer with joint custody. While summer doesn’t have too many holidays to deal with, you’ll need to figure out the plan for Memorial Day, Fourth of July, and Labor Day. Some partners choose to switch off years for special holidays, but you can handle them however you’d like. Also, remember that Mother’s Day and Father’s Day take place in May and June. Try to be understanding if your ex wants the kids for their respective day because you’ll probably want them for your holiday too. It’s also a kind gesture to help the kids make something special for the holiday.

Summer with joint custody doesn’t have to be a huge headache if you just prepare in advance and try to be understanding. Being flexible with your partner often results in them being flexible when you want to change things. Especially if you’re wanting to re-arrange days based on vacations. Also, plan for summer camp or a summer nanny if you’re both working full time. Finally, don’t forget to make a plan for the summer holidays like the Fourth of July. Hopefully, with a little planning ahead and some understanding, you can have a great summer!