Month: January 2019

Moving Forward: Setting Your New Course

Re-adjusting to life after your divorce can be difficult. It’s not uncommon to feel lost and confused after everything is said and done. However, there are different ways you can start moving forward with your new life. You’ll soon be able to see all the new different possibilities that you can take your life in…

Moving Forward: Setting Your Life Course

Focus on the positive outcomes

Many people get stuck on focusing on the negative aspects about their marriage and divorce once the divorce is over. The more you focus on these negative aspects, the more your overall thought process will become negative. That’s why moving forward means working on the positives. 

After your normal grieving period, then it’s time to start looking ahead. Think about the positive things that are possible now that you’re in control again. Once you’re able to think about them, then you’ll be able to make them a reality. 

Restructure & reorganize

Odds are that divorce wasn’t initially in your life plans. However, this shake-up has a silver lining in that you can take some time to restructure your future goals. This doesn’t mean “give up on everything you had planned”; rather, it just means think about what you can change to get yourself happy again. 

You can also reorganize your daily activities. Maybe you can start to pick up a new hobby. You can also start learning something that your ex usually took care of so you can be prepared in the future. Either way, you’re getting yourself out of your old life and into your new one. 

Spend time with others

It isn’t uncommon to feel lonely after your divorce. You can feel the need to shut yourself off from others during this time. Whether it’s due to feelings of grief, shame, or anger, these feelings can consume you.

Spending time with others helps to fight against these feelings. Being with friends or family can help you see you’re not truly alone. Instead, you have plenty of people who care about you. 

Divorce takes a toll out of you emotionally even when it’s successful. It can be hard to get yourself back in balance. However, if you remain focused on what’s important, you can start to move forward into a brighter, better life. 

Divorce Depression: Managing the Hurt

Divorce depression is something that can anyone going through a divorce can experience. Even if the divorce was your idea, that doesn’t mean you can’t become depressed over the ending of your marriage. However, these feelings don’t have to last. In fact, you can begin to fight them even while your divorce is underway…

Divorce Depression: Managing the Hurt

Keep a journal

You may feel like you have hundreds of things running through your head during a divorce. It can be hard to keep track of everything going on, let alone how you’re feeling on the day-to-day. This is where it helps to start keeping a journal.

Keeping a journal can help with divorce depression as you can get those feelings in your head out into the “real world”. Writing helps keep your head clear and truly figure out how you’re feeling about the divorce. Continuing to write will also let you see the progress you make in improving yourself over the course of your divorce. 

Don’t cut yourself off

It’s totally understandable if you want alone time during your divorce. However, it’s important to not cut yourself off from others completely. Doing so will only add onto your divorce depression.

Keep yourself connected to your close friends and family. Odds are, they’ll be your number one source of support during this time. You can also try and get involved in your local community. This will help you make new connections with people you may have never talked to otherwise!

Make changes, big and small

Even the slightest of changes in your daily routine can help get your out of your divorce depression funk. After all, why not make some positive changes to help counteract the negative ones? Not only are you keeping yourself busy, you’re also setting up your better post-divorce life. 

For example, you can remodel your house to be more to your liking. You can make some changes to your wardrobe. What’s important is making the changes you wish to make.

Divorce is difficult, but it’s also the chance to do things your way again. Find your own happiness and you can start your post-divorce life energized and ready for whatever comes next!

Divorce Tax Changes: What To Know

Handling the financial side of divorce can be a difficult task. The recent divorce tax changes that are going into effect this year have now changed some key pieces of divorce financials around. Proper understanding of these new laws is key to help reduce the stress they might bring…

Divorce Tax Changes: What To Know

Alimony alterations 

Alimony payments used to be tax deductible for the person paying before these new divorce tax changes. These payments were also considered taxable income for the person receiving them. Going into 2019, however, this will no longer be the case. 

Due to these changes, alimony disputes could become more involved. Higher-income spouses may want to pay less alimony due to losing the tax deduction. On the other end, spouses may also fight for more alimony due to the money being able to go further. It’s important to keep these changes in mind when discussing potential alimony with your spouse. 

Modified agreements

If you had a divorce agreement in place before 2019, then the new tax laws won’t affect them. However, any new modifications you make going forward could be impacted by the divorce tax changes. If your modification falls within the new laws, then it will be subject to the new rules. If not, then the old rules still apply. Keep this in mind if you plan on making any potential modifications to an agreement.

Pre- and post-nuptials 

Pre- and post-nuptial agreements are also potentially impacted by the new divorce tax changes. However, unlike with standard agreements, these new laws can potentially change or nullify items in these agreements. Make sure to double-check the terms and see if anything will be changed by the new laws. 

Dependent tax deductions

Starting in 2019, the $4,050 exemption you could claim for dependents is being removed. In its place, however, is an increase on the child tax credit from $1000 to $2000. This divorce tax change is especially important to keep in mind for couples with children. For single taxpayers, they’ll see an almost doubled standard deduction on their taxes. 

The financial side of divorce can be one of the more tricky to navigate. New changes in the law can complicate things even further. Understanding what aspects have changed will help to make sure nothing catches you off guard. 

Partner Unhappiness: Potential Indicators

Actions tend to speak louder than words. This is especially true in marriage. Your partner’s behavior can tell you how they might truly feel, even when they say nothing’s wrong. Being aware of these indicators can help you notice and address potential partner unhappiness…

Partner Unhappiness: Potential Indicators

Not spending time together

If your partner isn’t spending as much time with you as they used to, then it might be a sign of partner unhappiness. They may be spending more and more time with friends than with you. They could also be putting more time in at work rather than coming home. 

While it is important to let your partner have time to themselves, it shouldn’t result in them having no time with you. In this case, you become less of a priority than you should be. This can be a telltale sign that something is making your partner unhappy when they’re with you.

Emotionally withdrawn 

Another early indicator of partner unhappiness is if they become emotionally withdrawn. Generally, you’d expect for you and your partner to be honest with each other. You’d want to talk about how they are, how their day was, etc.

However, your partner may be more and more distant when talking about these things. They might not even ask you how you are anymore. This lack of interest is a warning that something is making your partner unhappy.

Lack of patience 

A sudden shift in temperament can also be a sign of partner unhappiness. If your normally cool-headed partner gets a shorter temper, then something is bothering them.This change in patience could be because they’re unsure about your relationship.

They Start Nitpicking

Originally, your partner may have found the things you did cute. However, they might’ve started nitpicking more and more. You might feel like there’s nothing you can do that won’t result in nitpicking. 

This could be because of their own unhappiness. Nitpicking is a way for your partner to get out their frustration without addressing it directly. Instead of talking about their problems, it’s easier for your partner to shut you down. 

What to do

It can be difficult to feel loved by your partner when they begin acting in these ways. Sometimes, they might just need space to process their feelings if they’re in a rough place. You can also try and suggest relationship counseling to them as way to work out their issues. Do your best to make things work, but remember: your own happiness should always come first. 

New Year Post-Divorce: Going Into It Right

With the new year beginning, it’s the perfect time to get your new life post-divorce established. However, you might not be sure about where to start. It’s true that there is a lot to consider when starting your new year post-divorce, but there’s plenty of ways to get started…

New Year Post-Divorce: Going Into It Right

Make sure to process your divorce fully 

It’s understandable to be eager to move on from your divorce in your new year post-divorce. This is especially true if things didn’t go the way you wanted. However, you shouldn’t push yourself  to move on before you’re ready too. Instead, you’ll want to give yourself the time you need to grieve properly. 

If you don’t give yourself the time to process your divorce now, then you won’t be able to move on from it properly. This can complicate the things you want to accomplish in the new year. It’s best to take that time now to fully process your emotions rather than having them always bother you down the line. 

Figure out who you want to be

Figuring out who you want to be is a key to starting your new year post-divorce right. Remembering who you used to be before your divorce and marriage is a good way to rebuild who you are. It’s important, however, to not get caught up in just remembering. 

In order to become a better you in the future, you can’t get caught up in the past. Divorce gives you a clean slate to start your new life with. You’ll have a lot of power to make new life decisions for yourself going forward. Figure out what you’d like to change or improve, and use that as a start to become who you want to be. 

Explore new things and places

When you were married, you had to compromise. You had to put off going to places you wanted to go because your ex didn’t. You didn’t do things you liked if you knew your ex hated them. 

Now, with your new year post-divorce starting, you have the ability to do these things and much more. Figure out the things you want to do or places you want to see and write them down. They don’t have to be anything crazy; after all, it’s your list. Use your new year as the opportunity to make as many of these goals of yours come true and really enjoy yourself. 

The start of a new year after your divorce can be the change to truly take your life in a new direction. Doing the things you want and becoming the person you’ve wanted to be will help you see that your divorce isn’t the end of the world, but rather the chance to really start living again.