Month: March 2020

Quarantine Living: Making It Easier

The ongoing coronavirus pandemic has caused many couples to remain indoors. However, if things were already tense beforehand, or if you were thinking about divorcing, then quarantine living can be pretty hard. As a result, you’ll want to find ways to make things easier…

Quarantine Living: Making It Easier

Keep some structure

One way to make quarantine living more manageable is by making some structure. The change to staying at home has probably thrown your old schedule all out of sorts. If you have kids, then they’re probably going to be at home with you too. Therefore, you may not be sure as to what exactly it is you should be doing.

That’s why it can be handy to create your own schedule and structure. Set a constant alarm, and go through your normal morning routine as usual. Then, set aside time for work, to eat, to exercise, etc. Doing something similar for the kids can help everyone avoid the feeling of going stir-crazy.

Have your own space

Having your own space is also handy for quarantine living. The last thing you want is for everyone to feel like they’re on top of each other. While you may all be stuck at home, you still need to have some privacy. To get that privacy, it’s helpful to set aside some space for yourself.

For instance, it might be useful for you and your partner to have you own separate “work” areas. You kids might also benefit from having their own space to do school work in. Everyone having their own little areas will help create that feeling of personal space.

Work on communication

Quarantine living is a great time for you and your partner to work on you communication skills. Issues with communication are some of the most common reasons as to why couples fight. With how much time you’ll be spending at home, you’re going to want to avoid big explosive fights as best as you can.

A great way to do this is by being able to properly communicate. When issues arise, be sure you and your partner talk to each other about it. Keep things calm, civil, and let the both of you present your sides or thoughts. This will help you come to agreements and avoid those big blowups.

Coronavirus Concerns: Divorce Impacts

The recent outbreak of coronavirus (COVID-19) has certainly affected many different areas, divorce included. There’s a few specific coronavirus concerns you might have about divorce. It’s important to know how the process may be impacted, and what to be mindful of if you want to divorce…

Coronavirus Concerns

Health concerns

Perhaps the most pressing coronavirus concerns are those related to health. Divorce is a very stressful event, and too much stress can weaken the immune system. At a time where staying healthy is key, you may not want to put yourself in a spot where you’re not at 100%.

Furthermore, consider how much you’ll have to deal with during the divorce. On top of potential conflict, you might have to move to a new home, schedule meetings with your ex, and a whole host of other things. This might give you a lot less time to take care of yourself during a time where you really need to. Be sure to keep that in mind if you want to divorce.

Financial issues

There’s also the coronavirus concerns about finances. Divorce not only places stress on you emotionally, but it also can strain your finances. First, there’s the cost of the divorce itself. Then, there’s the fact that you’ll probably be going from a double income house to a single income one. Sometimes, you may even need to look for a new job.

However, the coronavirus is already impacting the economy. Many people are working less, with some businesses not being open at all. Others are finding themselves losing their jobs due to the outbreak. Therefore, make sure you can juggle your divorce expenses along with these economic constraints.

The process itself

Coronavirus concerns have even made their way into impacting the divorce process itself. Recently, many states have been ordering employees to work from home, or are limiting operating hours. Among those included in these restrictions are the courts.

Due to this, cases which involve oral arguments are being delayed for around 2-4 months. Now, most divorcing people don’t need to go through those steps. However, if you think your divorce might, be aware that there will probably be a delay in when things get get moving.

Stepparent Discipline: What To Avoid

Figuring out how to discipline kids is something both co-parents and remarried couples struggle with. Stepparent discipline in particular can be hard to get a hang of. However, there’s a few things you’ll want to avoid doing…

Stepparent Discipline: What To Avoid

Too many changes

One thing to avoid as part of your stepparent discipline is too many changes. Consider how many different things have changed for your stepchild. First there was the divorce, splitting up their family as they knew it. Now, they find themselves with a new family, stepparent, and potentially new stepsiblings and a new home.

The last thing you want to do is present them with even more change. This is an easy way to make them feel resentment towards you. Instead, give them and everyone else some time to settle in. Once everyone is comfortable, then you can worry about other discipline-related matters.

Being too harsh

You also don’t want your stepparent discipline to be too harsh either. Despite what you may think, being too much of a disciplinarian will end up backfiring on you. Rather than making your stepchild respect you, they’ll end up resenting you and have an adversarial relationship towards you. Once this is in place, it can be hard to reverse this.

Instead, try to focus on being friendly towards them and get to know them better. They may be a little distant or cold at first, which is to be expected. However, as long as you show them that you’re there for them, they’ll be more likely to respect you and treat you as such.

Giving out punishment

What happens if your stepchild breaks the rules? It can be tempting to just give out a punishment on your own. After all, you are their parent now, right? The thing is, your stepchild isn’t going to see you this way. To them, you’re basically still a stranger.

Therefore, don’t be the one to hand out discipline to your stepchildren. That will harm your overall relationship with them. Instead, leave that kind of punishment to your spouse, as your stepchild will probably handle it better than if you tried to step in.

Moving Day: Get Yourself Ready

Deciding to move after your divorce isn’t always an easy choice to make. However, if you are moving, then it’s important to prepare for moving day properly. Getting yourself prepared will help your move go off much more smoothly than it would otherwise…

Moving Day: Get Yourself Ready

Declutter while packing

In general, it’s a good idea to do some decluttering before your moving day. A common issue people run into is that they’ll pack and move everything they have, only to realize they have a bunch of stuff they don’t really need. This causes their overall moving cost to be way more expensive than it should have been.

Therefore, it’s useful to do some decluttering while you’re packing for the move. As you go through your belongings, this is a perfect time to ask “do I really need this?” That way, you only bring along what you really need. Plus, you might be able to make a little bit of extra cash selling off those extra items!

Choose movers carefully

When moving day arrives, you’re probably going to need some extra help with getting your things to your new place. Still, you don’t want your stuff to get damaged. That’s why you should pick your extra help carefully. Most people will either choose a professional mover company, or ask their friends.

If you want to use a moving company, be sure to check for reviews. One place might be cheaper than the others, but it could have terrible reviews with tons of complaints. As for using friends, make sure to ask them ahead of time, and not right before the move. It also helps to offer them something like paid lunch for helping out!

Properly pack

Proper packing makes moving day go a whole lot easier than it would otherwise. When packing on your own, it helps to do it with some structure. Go into each room one a time and pack up what you need. That way, you won’t have a bunch of boxes filled with random things from all across the home.

If you hate packing, or just don’t have the time, then many moving companies offer to do so for you. Of course, this tends to come with some extra fees. However, these companies do tend to use stronger boxes, which can ensure your stuff stays better protected.

Adult Child Coping Methods

Divorce is always going to be hard on a couple’s kids, whether they’re younger or older. For the latter in particular, it’s helpful for them to know adult child coping methods. These methods can help them handle the divorce and the other responsibilities they have…

Adult Child Coping Methods

Avoid taking sides

One of the good adult child coping methods to use is remaining neutral. Divorce is always an unfortunate situation, especially when it happens in your own family. Still, you need to keep in mind that this isn’t your divorce. Instead, this is something your parents need to settle.

It’s not healthy for you to start picking sides in the divorce. This can he hard, especially considering you’re an adult now. However, while you can offer your support, just make sure it’s within the proper limits. You don’t want to get yourself too involved in the process itself.

Set your boundaries

Clear boundaries are another example of good adult child coping methods. As an adult, you’ll have other responsibilities to worry about now. This could include things like school, work, or your own family’s needs. It can be hard to balance these properly if your parents only lean on you for support.

That’s why you need to establish clear boundaries with them. They need to be aware of the other things you have to deal with too. While it’s certainly fine to help them, you can’t be their only source of support. They need to build strong, healthy support networks instead.

Don’t allow it to define you

A common problem adult children of divorcing parents experience is feeling like they’ll follow their parent’s footsteps. This can have a serious impact on their future relationships and how they view marriage. Due to this, it’s important to not buy into this kind of thinking as another of the adult child coping methods.

Remember that while we learn a lot from our parents, we’re still our own people. In fact, this can be a good time to learn what you should avoid doing in a relationship. While you don’t need every detail, seeing some of the issues your parents faced can help you be better prepared for if you encounter them yourself.

Academic Struggles: Helping The Kids

Divorce can impact your kids in many ways, especially in regards to school. Academic struggles are quite common in kids whose parents have just divorced. However, knowing how they may be impacted can help you get them the extra help they may need…

Academic Struggles: Helping The Kids

Emotionally distracted

Emotional distress is common in kids with divorced parents. This distress can cause them to become very distant and lose their focus, leading to academic struggles. They might not pay attention in class, or not do any assignments. This can have a seriously negative impact on their grades.

As a result, it’s important to help them get back on track. A tutor can be handy for helping your kids regain the focus they had before. It’s also a good idea to talk to your kids about what’s bothering them, and see if there’s any way you can help them.

Behavioral issues

Issues with behavior can also cause academic struggles. Every kid is bound to face some kind of trouble at school. However, a divorce can make them more likely to act our or behave poorly. For example, children of divorced parents tend to skip 60% more often than other students.

Many times, kids will act out this way in order to get attention from their parents. This could be because the divorce has made them worry their parents don’t love them or blame them for the divorce. Aside from talking to them, a therapist can help get to the bottom of these outbursts.

Issues with comprehension

Another way kids will show their academic struggles is through issues with comprehension. Classes or assignments that your kids did well on before might give them more difficulty now. This may be due to the distraction of divorce, and how it causes them to lose focus. It could also be due to a lack of confidence.

When you notice their grades start to slip, don’t panic and start yelling at them. Instead, try to reach out to their teachers first. Let them know what’s going on and why you think your kids may be having a hard time. By doing so, their teacher can help give them some extra 1-on-1 time to help keep their grades up.