Month: September 2020

How-to Spot a Cheating Spouse

You have an uneasy feeling in the back of your mind. You have picked up on things that have made you wonder and question “Are they cheating on me?” over and over again. You will wonder if you overanalyzing things or going crazy. Unfortunately, this feeling is more common than you think, and you may not be going crazy. Learn more about how you can possibly spot a cheating spouse.

How-to Spot a Cheating Spouse: Marital Affair

Being Secretive

One thing to watch out for is a spouse that is being very secretive with his or her phone or computer. A cheater will start to really guard their phone or computer, and clear their history frequently. They will likely be very jumpy and defensive when you ask about their phone of computer as well. You will notice they do not want to part with their phone or set it down. Also, they certainly will not let you look at their devices. Unless there is a chance they could be planning something like a surprise party for you, all of these actions could be seen as very suspicious.

Improved Appearance

Has your spouse never concerned themself with spending time grooming, then all of the sudden starts always looking put together out of no where? Are they suddenly going out for runs, when you could hardly get them to go for a walk with you before? They could be trying to look better for you, or they could be trying to look better for someone else. Be especially wary if they look the same at home, but suddenly start trying way harder for work or special events.

Of course, your spouse could have really just had a pivotal moment and really be trying to get in shape or taking care of themself. Perhaps they just had a health scare or have been feeling down about how they have let themself go. They maybe even are just trying for a big promotion at work. Know that just because they suddenly start caring does not automatically mean that you have an unhealthy marriage or that you have a cheating spouse.

Change in Intimacy

Has there been a sudden change or decrease the the frequency of intimacy you have with your spouse? It could be because they are being intimate with someone else. Alternatively, they could be wanting to be intimate with you more often out of guilt.

Unreachable

Another possible sign is that your spouse is unreachable for long periods of a time. Do you hear, “My phone died and I didn’t have a charger” on the regular? Or is there suddenly all kinds of areas of no service that have popped up all over your town? Be especially wary if they are unreachable on a business trip.

While these do not necessarily mean you have a cheating spouse, they should certainly raise red flags. Do not drive yourself crazy obsessing over it, but perhaps bring it up with your spouse or even hire a private investigator to clear your mind. If you do decide to ask or investigate, just be prepared for what you could find. Although you may be pleasantly surprised to learn there was nothing to be worried about at all.

How-to Handle Adopting Multiple Children: Siblings

You may feel a calling for adopting multiple children. This could come in the form of adopting siblings or just multiple waiting children. Adding one child, let alone more than one, into your family will bring many changes. Here are some steps to take while going through the process of adopting several children.

How-to Handle Adopting Multiple Children: Things to Consider

Why Multiples?

In some cases, a child in the foster system may have had their brother or sister as their only constant in their life. They will have had their entire world turned upside down at some point in their life, sometimes more than once. They will be separated from their parents and everything they know. Their sibling will be someone who can relate to what they are going through and understand them. As you can see, adopting multiple children by adopting siblings will help to keep these brothers and sisters together with someone they have a bond with.

Around 2/3 of all kids in foster care in the US have a sibling in foster care as well. Unfortunately, many of these children will end up bring separated from their brothers and sisters. The most common reason for their separation is because foster care workers can not find a forever home for all of the children together. By deciding to adopt siblings, you will be keeping this family together.

Things to Consider

One of the things to consider when adopting multiple children is if you are ready for this commitment. This will be a very big change, and you need to make sure that you are ready. Assess your home to make sure it is suitable for bringing multiple children into it. Really dig deep and make sure that if you are married or in a relationship, that you are both ready for this. This whole experience will have to be a team effort to make it work.

Another thing to do is to do your own research. There are websites that go over things you should know about adopting multiples. You can also connect with families who have adopted siblings on the AdoptUSKids Facebook page.

Adopting can be a difficult, yet rewarding process. You take this to the next level when thinking about adopting multiple children. Keeping siblings together could be very beneficial to your adoptive child, and can be one way of growing your family.

How-to Handle Co-Parenting and Vacations

After your divorce is finalized, there will come a time when you or your ex will want to go on a vacation with the kids. There will be things that will be different about this trips than when it was before the divorce. While you may feel this tricky, there was ways to handle co-parenting and vacations easily.

How-to Handle Co-Parenting and Vacations: Post-Divorce Considerations

Advanced Notice

You will want to give your ex advanced notice about any trip that you may be going on with the kids. If you have shared-custody, you will want to give plenty of time to rearrange custody times if needed. You would want the same courtesy in return if your ex wanted to take the kids on the trip.

It may also take some time for the party staying at home to get used to the idea that their kids are going to be going away for a while. The parent staying at home may want to fill their time with other things to take their mind off things while the kids are off having fun with their other parent. This is especially true if the kids are going on a trip with the ex plus someone they are dating, or even new spouse. Plan some time with some friends or do some self-pampering in the meantime.

Medical History

Another thing to think about with co-parenting and vacations is your child’s health. It is important for the safety of the kids that both parents are both up-to-date on the kid’s medical history. Think about things such as medications, allergies and health conditions. A full list of any doctors or health conditions would be important to share as well. It would be terrible for something to happen while on vacation and the parent with them be uninformed about the child’s medical history. This could actually prove to be life threatening. Make sure to have open communication about this and discuss it before anyone leaves on a trip.

Stay in Touch

Keep the other parent at home informed with the best way to get in contact with you while you are on your trip. Even if you will not have cell phone service, give the information for the accommodations you will be staying at. This way if there is an emergency, there will be some line of commuication.

Also, let the other parent know about any changes in plans or itinerary. That way the other parent will be able to feel better about knowing where the kids are. Communication helps with trust. This will definitely help the process of vacations while co-parenting go better.